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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:53:00 PM | all i kno is that sex with the ex is always much better ...dont wanna hurt your feelings but there is a Big possibilitie that they are still doing stuff ...
i was in that kinda situation..i kinda felt bad for the new gf ..but couldnt stop..
what u can do ..is talk to him ..be calm and just asking him to be honest .and even if after that he is not chaging ..u should take a break from the relationship..if he really likes u .. he will come back and he will be ONLY with u ..just how its supposed to be ..
goog luck :) | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:33:14 PM | My ex and I are close. BUT, we let the "newbies" know immediately that we are a packaged deal, especially around holidays/birthdays/etc. We talk often via cell, text at times, but have NEVER left anyone wondering if there was more to it than that. We socialize together and although he goes through women on a daily basis, there has not been one that was not welcome in my home, no matter what their status was. He has only met two men in my life (because that is all there have been more than one date) and today, all these years later, he's still friends with them both. If there is nothing to hide, there is no reason it can't be friendly on all accounts. If he asked me to leave, I'd leave ~ it would be the LAST time he needed to ask me to do so. JMO  | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:37:06 PM | Sounds like he's keeping you at bay until he finally is assured that he can have his ex back.... sounds like the relationship you have with him is 'living on your borrowed time'.
cut him loose and tell him 'times up'. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:50:58 AM | Oh dump his sorry ness!
If you can't be there and sit in his lap with her there... then he is not into you like he should be. Period and I don't care.
Tell him that I said that he needs to set some boundaries and figure it out, yesterday! | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:30:58 AM | This is all what I thought. He said I was being paranoid... yada yada yada.. and I should trust him. I just thought that I should atleast have some proof before I say anything, because the best way other than messing around on someone to ruin a relationship, is to accuse them of messing around. but now I see that I'm not the only one who thinks this way. So I guess I'll see what happens.. what's the worst that could happen? I'm single again? Anyways, thank you all for your input.
-Amber | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:00:05 PM | Sounds to me like you're in some state of denial, where anything short of walking in on them doing it in front of you would still leave you doubt something is going on behind your back.
I've ended relationships as still friends with other girls, but would never ask someone I'm currently dating (or even just sleeping with) to leave because the ex is coming over. To be 100% honest, I'd encourage her to stay just to see if they could get along on an open level. But that's just me. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 1:02:28 PM | | He talks to his ex everyday. He texts her 20 or more times a day. He asks you to leave when his ex comes over and you ask what I think? He obviously has the hots for her. Find yourself a guy who will worship & adore you and who isn't focused on an EXgirlfriend. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 1:22:44 PM | I agree, time to look elsewhere. As a Separated person (Divorce Filed with the courts), here's my take on it. I'm still on good terms with the soon to be Mrs. X. That doesn't mean I want to talk or txt back and forth every day several times. We've talked working out our Divorce, every once in a while we'll text to make sure each other is alive, but not like what you're describing.
You can be civil in a Divorce, no need to be nasty, but it's a Divorce as in "You go your way, I go mine". An occasional hello is polite and acknowledging that you do share a past with the X, but constant contact means that perhaps they aren't really ready to move on.
Unless you want to be the Victim, I suggest leaving quickly. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:37:14 PM | Love can be so blind and at times we prefer not too see what is looking us right in the face! We can be convinced that we are paranoid or just jealous not because we are stupid but because we don’t want to believe or let ourselves be hurt. So we start to believe that maybe we are just that paranoid and jealous.
From what you have said in your post OP I don’t think for a second that you are paranoid! I don’t think for a second that you are over reacting or jealous. If anything I think that you are under reacting and not seeing what is right in front of you. Yes you are a beautiful women and yes you could just walk away and it is easy for everyone to say it but not so easy to do sometimes.
My best advice to you is this. We all know that the key to any successful relationship is communication! What you need to do is lay all your cards on the table. Let your boyfriend know exactly how you feel! Also make sure to let him know that by him asking you to leave well she visited him was the one that made the choice to choose her feelings over yours. If the shoe was on the other foot I am sure that he would not have been so understanding. If he wants the relationship between yourself and him continue he needs to start making some choices. For starters respecting your feelings but in order to do this you needs to understand that you are worth far more then you are getting out of this relationship! It is not a matter of making a choice between you and his ex it is a matter of does he want to make this relationship work with you or with his ex. I personally have very close friends that are my ex’s that I have children with and never would I ever ask my current boyfriend to leave my house so that he could come for a visit. I myself know that there would not be good intentions there if that was the case. Personally I think you should leave but there is a reason that you have not already maybe love. There are red flags hanging all over the place so open your eyes and see them and then when you can run like hell!!!! | |
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roddw
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Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 39 | |
| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/10/2008 4:23:39 PM | what reason does he have to remain friends with his ex?
right, sex that's it, why is any guy friends with a woman? right again sex.
your 21 finish school and find a career, dating is not getting you anywhere. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/11/2008 3:12:23 PM | I started dating this guy who had been broken up from his ex for 6 months or so; and him and his ex were still on good terms(mutual split). They were friends and I was okay with that, then he told me he still loved her (as a friend) so he says. Is it weird that they talk everyday, and text back and forth more than 20x a day? Or the fact that when she comes over, he asks me to leave because it would be "awkward"? Shouldn't he be able to talk to her in front of me if something more wasn't going on? Am I wrong in thinking there's something wrong with this picture? His sex drive has even gone down a lot too... what do you think?
I think at a minimum it is ultimatum time for you with him: either he treats this ex as no different than any other friend or you need to vamos. And (of course) be ready to follow through if he refuses to do that.
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:14:50 PM | | I'm friendly with most of my exes, but I'm also mindful of women I see currently. It shouldn't be that much of a balancing act if the guy is honest. Good boundaries and honesty should make everything workable. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:24:40 PM | I believe he's messing around with his ex too... the writing's on the wall...
The bigger picture here is how you expect to be treated in a relationship... I cannot imagine anyone wanting that in their life... and it makes you miserable which is understandable.... you need to move on... I wouldn't even have the discussion, it's not worth your trouble or frustration as he continues to point out your jealousy... you won't get him to see the way clear all you can do is learn from this and then sit yourself down and have a stern talk with yourself about allowing someone to treat you so badly... | |
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OLT4U
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Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 45 | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:00:42 PM | Twisted_heart: I'm a little surprised that with everyone (and that's EV-REEE-ONE) that's responded to your thread telling you to DTMFA you're going to "see what happens." I'm friends with three of my exes. Two of them are women I never had sex with; so the relationship was more of a "friends with some kissing and a bit of groping" and they got downgraded to "friends who don't kiss or grope any more." My contact with these women when we were dating was daily, now that we're not it's more weekly or even monthly. I'm also trying to have friendly relations with my ex-wife... because there's just too much history there to turn my back on entirely -but I am very reluctant to have too much contact because it's a weird place for me, mentally.
The fact is, you don't trust this guy anymore. Short of saying to you, straight to your face "I'm banging my ex like a screen-door in tornado row, and you're a sucker," he's given you every reason to be distrustful. I'd say the only "real" question is whether you just disappear or if you "call him out" for his unfit to date practices first. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:14:51 PM | Even if he's not banging her (but I think he is) he is devoting entirely TOO much of his time to her. It's ok to be friendly with an ex, but when you spend more time talking, texting, and spending time with them than with your current, something is NOT right. If he is texting her 20+ times a day, guess what? He's thinking about HER, not YOU. Unless he's texting her about how much he cares for you, lol! Right, not likely!
I'd say the only "real" question is whether you just disappear or if you "call him out" for his unfit to date practices first. I agree with this! | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 2/9/2008 7:35:14 PM | | OP, if in the slightest chance that he's not cheating on you (and we're talking very slight), he is at least open to the possibility of doing so. He is trying to get back with her, that is why he asks you to leave when he knows she is coming by. Sadly though, she probably doesn't know about you! Don't even bother calling him out, just get on with your life. Quit being a victim and take control of your love-life. | |
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| Men, and ex girlfriends they used to love. your opinion?
Posted: 2/9/2008 9:18:49 PM | lol... more like my ex girlfriend and her ex... all I have to say is this- the picture is not looking good from where you're sitting. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. You could try to tell him you won't stand to be second to someone else, especially his ex. Or you could simply leave. Hun, you are way way better than what this guy is doing to you... it sounds like he's using you until he can get back into his exe's good graces.
I hope you figure it out so it all works out for the best- Sun | |
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