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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 3:21:35 AM | Women... Don't do it. It's not worth it.
I've been in a situation where my long term girlfriend wanted to hold onto me, even though I had feelings for someone else and wanted to move on.
Yes, I was being a bit of an idiot, and I regret what I done... But since I did hurt her, it was hard for me not to give in to her wishes. But damn, it was messy. But what could I do? I felt sorry for her. As it happens however, our relationship did last another wonderful 2 more years... But the rot had already settled in by then.
No... If a man (or a woman for that matter) decides they want out... Let them go. It's just not worth it, believe me. | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:42:31 AM | I personally feel actions (including eye movements) speak louder than words. If he acts a little strange every time this lady is mentioned than possibly he does have feelings. Will these feelings go away? I don’t know however I feel that until he fulfills his request his desires will be lingering (and will be lingering in the back of your mind). You are a beautiful woman who can probably get any man she wants … so please watch his actions and make your decision from there.
Good Luck OP this must be very difficult for you!
I do have to agree with this one, but ~ there is nothing wrong with having feelings for an "ex" ~ it matters what you do with those feelings. And I have to agree, this OP is beautiful and if this situation fails, I'm certain she will do just fine in the dating arena. 
Do you want to be sloppy 2nd's?
Good grief. How on earth does this equate to sloppy second/thirds or 125th? If you are here, and you are not with your first love, the first person you kissed, the first person in your romantic life ~ we are all second to someone. Pft.
What kind of drugs you on OP?
Geezus, I'm a walking pharmacy. If you have a headache, I'm the girl to find. If you have a panic attack, some see me. If you have a tummy ache, I'll fix it. If you want pot/crack/meth or other evils, I can't help you there ~ but I seriously doubt this particular OP was meaning she lives her life hoping for a 70's free-love/drug induced re-play. You just can't win here: you lie, your a liar.....you tell the truth, someone will find fault with that as well. I'm no one's moral police ~ you can catch that seminar over at "Mind your own business unless it pertains to post #1" ~ Great little seminar that teaches how to stay ON TOPIC. Go to profile reviews if you want to rip someone up, those people in there are masochists. But hey, to each their own!!! 
~OP~ I wrote you direct, but wish to say this publically.  STOP explaining yourself. You don't owe any explanation for what you think, feel, or wish to discuss here. Sometimes explaining just bolsters the nastiness and nothing gets solved, if you are in fact, finding anything useful in here, which I certainly have, you owe NO ONE an explanation other than what you posted in post #1 or maybe an occasional STFU (although that usually just gets the pot boiling, appropriate or not!! LOL) Obviously, there are those that are so on top of their dating/love life game that they feel it's appropriate to bash others. Sort of funny really ~ since they are right here with the rest of us and it does appear that you are the only one even remotely involved or dating (save a few select posters.) As I stated ealier, not all relationships are text-book. Some come with complications that are unexpected and many are new territory for someone your age and even someone my age. You'll figure it out ~ we always do. And you can look back and say, "I'm glad I did it that way." No regrets!!! Think it through, dig deep and figure out what you feel is best for your very own future. Leave him out of the process, just think about you and your life ~ the answer will come. | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:00:36 AM | RE: First post.
Hahaha, I dont know how you got the impression he has feelings for her. He just wants to boink her. No feelings, unless you count lust. ^_^ So no worries. If you think him wanting to boink her is a problem... I've got news for you. When your man walks down the street Im sure he sees a half a dozen of girls at least he wants to have sex with. | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:54:03 PM | I agree with your comments, it's about having the confidence to sit down and talk about how you're feeling. Before you have done that you're already starting to rubbish how your feelings are making u feel. As the gentlemen suggested you need to sort out exactly what it is you truly feel before u broach the subject with your partner. In all honesty he may not be aware that he is making you feel the way your feeling, or how he glazes over when he speaks about his step sister. You've not given him the opportunity by not speaking up. Too many times any of us in relationships are to afraid to speak, what is really happening with us emotionally. Out of fear we have built up in our minds of what will happen. When in fact, it's never how it is in reality compared to what we build up in our minds. Only because we are afraid of what the answer will be, i'm sure the truth is much better than the hell you and any of us put ourselves through. Better to get it out in the open instead of living in a relationship that isn't built on trust. Take the plunge what is the worst that could happen?...him being honest..either he does feel for his sister or he doesn't either way you'll know the truth and can make a decision based on that alone, not what is going on in your mind eh
Good luck | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 4:58:08 PM | With the misused words and incomplete sentences....its hard to speculate what the real deal is here except...it sounds like Jerry springer married the beverly hillbillies. "Oh but they are only second cousins " "stepsister/brother"ect ect! Grow some self esteem and move on...let him keep whats behind door #1. Sorry I just had to say this!!!! | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:38:54 PM | You think he has feelings for her?"""" My dear get rid of him, do you want to be second best in his heart? No you want to be number one"" I know you love this man, but he is still fantacizing about this other girl.. he proble want his cake and eat it too. This is why I,m single, all these guys ruin it for the good guys like me. | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:07:18 PM | | I wouldn't feel threatened with that sort of honesty, as long as he didn't act on it, and kept good boundaries between him and her. (For example if she flirts with him, he makes it clear to her we are an item, and won't accept social invitations from her, unless I'm invited, too.) I would be more suspicious if a man said he wasn't attractive to somebody when it was clear to me he was. I've been left for women my boyfriends assured me weren't attractive. | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:58:30 AM | | i have a few ex boyfriends, who still call me even years after we've broken up, they still tell me they love me, and wish things were differnt and alot of crapola. it's so not fair to be with someone if you have feelings for anyone else period it's just bringing baggage. Every man i've ever known has always cheated with someone he cared about rather than meaningless. and ya tha's ma story ...... | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:41:07 AM | OP, to be honest, every one of your posts has made the situation more foggy. That's pretty normal, I guess... emotions have a way of scrambling up the brain. Especially for one so young.
Look at it this way-- you're 20 years old. YOU'VE GOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. You seem devoted to the idea of being in love with this guy... but you don't really seem to trust him. Based on what you've said, it sounds like you've got some pretty good reasons for suspicion.
Do what the wiser previous posters have said-- speak to him directly about the situation, and watch him carefully, when he answers. Be strong. Look at his eyes. Be aware that there are lots of guys (especially in your age group) who are just not ready for a lifetime commitment. It would be just too tempting for such a guy to keep up a relationship with such a cute gal (especially if you're sexually involved), UNTIL HE'S SURE that he can get something "better". Ever heard the song "you keep me hanging on"? That's what they're talking about....
You've got a perfectly legitimate concern. If he tries to dump it back on you, i.e. "you're being unreasonable" "why are you harrassing me" etc... or if he just changes the subject, or anything else that makes your intuitive buzzers go off... call it off and reevaluate your feelings. If he really loves you, he'll straighten things out. If not... you're young & pretty and there's a big wide world full of men out there.... | |
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| would you stay with a man if he have feelings for another woman
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:41:21 PM | Sorry...I just don't play second to any other girl...and if that's what's goin' on...you have to decide for yourself..
It just never ceases to amaze me that so many people are willing to play second best to another....don't you feel you deserve the very best? You should... :) | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 75 | |
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