| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:58:16 AM | If you have a disability, it's going to come out if you guys meet. I believe it's all up to the person. As for me, I chose not to disclose that I'm retarded sometimes, and that's okay! I'm blonde.  | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:19:17 AM | Well, well I am seriously hoping to meet and maybe meat someone disabled caus' ..."dis" -abled is naughtie my kindah "springer". Hey poster boy why don't yah read over whatcha said ..............because everything people say is a statement and you made a cotton candy dandy.............
quote ... " Or do you think they should spring it on you later?"
If you are having an emotional and genital attachment to another unavailable secondary sex characteristic this may be signs to not rip the fruit of the looms off the family jewels or shop the fishnet stock-ing channel with people who should really join a sup-port groupie of ca ulk -a- haul -lick. Or maybe disclosing the fact that your body fluids shoot viral death for those on the down low or the way,way down low.... disability is dishonesty to your own molecules and towards anothers which is also YOU .... to not accept the molecules of another is to disable yourself , as our continuim is not static ... attraction is based on intelligence not ............... superficiality.... | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:47:01 AM |
(Msg 2) i can tell you from past experience.....i have a physical problem but i'm not completely going into it right now. when i talked to a few men on this site and other sites immediately they dismissed me because they feel as if i'm not able to full fill their needs and expectations.
I can't think of any disability severe enough to prevent a woman from fulfilling my needs. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:55:25 AM | I have to say that I am on the fence with this subject because if you choose to reveal that you have a disability whether it be physical (visible) or hidden on the profile, I see it as limiting your chances. Having a combination of both a VERY mild physical and hidden disability myself, I think it should be up to the person on how they choose to reveal they have the condition by either stating it in the profile or leaving it at a later time. Furthermore, I agree with some of the posts on here, that a visible disability should be revealed before the first meeting because you do not want to take the other person by surprise.
Personally, I have not posted my condition on my profile, and have chosen to reveal my condition at a later time when I talk to potential partners on this site. But, like I said, it is completely up to the individual on how they wish to reveal they have a disability whether it be physical (visible) or hidden. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:18:15 AM | I think we're slowly moving from barriers to participation to allowing people with disabilities opportunities to live meaningful lives. Still at a social level, a lot depends on individual attitudes, whether we only see the disability or the person themselves depends on our own perspective.
A disability doesn't need to be disclosed on the profile, unless the individual with a disability feels comfortable disclosing it. Otherwise, it's something that can be discussed later in a email.
Some people are uncomfortable around the disabled, so it is best to raise it on your own. That way you don't have any surprises later.
A lot can also depend on the type of disability whether it will influence where you meet i.e. is that coffee house with a patio on the second floor truly accessible to someone in a wheelchair? | |
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mcdeb
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Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 256 | |
| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:44:44 AM | | I recently expereince a situation where I spoke with someone on this site, he had a disability and he did tell me about it after we exhcanged a few messages...I was ok with it...what I wasnt ok with is that fact that we met.....and when we did meet, he didn't look anything like he was portraying to be....a false photo. That was the problem for me. I't wasnt that he had a disability it was the fact he just didn't look anything like his picture. I think honesty is always the best policy in any situation.... | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:45:12 AM | i feel like its only fair to inform people up front about disabilities.
i dont want to anyone to make false assumptions about me, there are some things i cant do like other people do, but that doesnt mean i am not as active as anyone else...it simply means i have to go about things differently sometimes.
i can move around my apartment quite well but when i am outside i use a chair and i tire easily...steriods have seriously comprimised my immune system and my respiratory system also causes me problems...my liver is in a delicate stage of regeneration...my seizures are finally under control though and in a year i hope to be back to my old self or even stronger....
so speed dating and that stuff isnt right for someone in my condition because i cant get out and meet for coffee and such..dates have to happen in my apartement where i can hook up to a nebulizer ....
i really have to read a persons profile and decide whether i can trust that person or not...then i have to get certain key points of information about them (phone numbers) and write it all down.....having a buddy system is a good idea too..
the main thing to remember is we are all adults here and to act like adults, the same way we do with our medical conditions,we do with our relationships, even potentially new ones. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:25:54 AM | Hi
I've just answered this question on another forum. So, I'll cut and paste this for you. By the way, I'm in a wheelchair also. I've made sure I have pics on my profile with me in my chair. If I were you, I'd also put in my description. I wouldn't list everything. At this point, they don't need to know all of that. I'd just say I'm in a wheelchair and leave it at that. Hope this helps.
Because of your unique experiences as a disabled person you have probably learned great compassion, patience, life skills and ways of solving problems that would benefit any man who has you in his life. If one adds those attributes to the fact that you are attractive, educated and accomplished, it is very clear that YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not him. He is the one who should be hoping that you will talk to him.
Embrace all that is your "Wheelly Goodness" when it comes to dating and romance. Put it out front and be proud of it. It is a very big part of who you are. Yes, there will be men who won't date you because of it. They don't matter. When they found out about your disability, you'd end up without those guys anyway . So, you've saved yourself some time. At the very least, by making your disability known from the beginning, you'll know that any man who responds to your profile doesn't care about your chair and values the opportunity to get to know you. And, if he's lucky, you just might let him take you out.
Lateef | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:42:47 AM | thank you lateef!
and by the way, i enjoyed your profile as well :) and i love the upbeat outlook you have about life on wheels...
the disability that i refer to mostly in my life is being housebound due to respiratory illnesses at certain times...or having a compromised immune system from constant steriod treatments...i used to be so active in doing presentation on service dog awareness and THAT is what i miss more than anything...but i will find a way to continue doing that i am sure ..or maybe this is just a sabatical while i heal..:) | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:04:51 AM | | Since I have no disabilities or health issues, I don't know exactly when or how they should be disclosed, but I feel it should be sooner rather than later. This could avoid some very bad feeling between two good people. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:05:10 AM | | being a diabetic is not a disablitity, its a health problem. I am a diabetic and I am not disable... And so what if someone is disable. Why should it matter. if you jugde poeple on that then you are a very ugly person.... | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:44:35 PM | Being a diabetic is a health problem that affects one of the basic things some folks are looking for on here...Procreation. Health Problems or Disabilities that would affect a pregnancy are VERY important for those looking for LTR's & Dating. The rest of the jokers just looking for a quick bang don't really care.
Being honest on the profile cuts out the ones that wouldn't spend more than one date on you anyway. I know it's cold, but it's as true as it gets. Some girls/guys look at a profile to help them figure out if that person is RIGHT for them and while some are going to be quick to fire from the hip, some sit & determine if they can HANDLE a particular problem before getting involved. At least the honest ones will have a better percentage of Good Candidates. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:05:13 PM | thats true bigshrek ..and it actually saves a person with a disablilty some time too in tha long run to be up front about other things as well...
i am just as inclined to shoot straight from tha lip as a person without a handicap...my time is just as valuable to me ...so i think if being honest is an issue then thats more or less going to be a trait thats going to come out in other areas of someones's personality, and not just about whether they are handicapped...for instance, if they are going to be dishonest about being disabled then they are also going to be dishonest about something else as well. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:52:19 PM | bigshrek
Being a diabetic does not effect anything... yes I have to watch what I eat and if I get pregant so what you can still control everything. I can do anything a heathly person can do. Its not like I am restricted. I just have to watch my blood sugar, you act like I am disable and need to be at home in my bed.. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:09:23 PM | ABSOLUTELY NOT!! For one, diabetes is not a disability...it is a medical condition, as are mental problems, arthritis, etc. It is not the world's business if you are afflicted with any condition. However, if you do meet someone with whom you become interested in and continue to "talk", then the situation should be mentioned, for example, when he suggests a walk in the park, one would tell him/her that they have problems with their legs, knees, etc. if it were to be arthritis related.
But, the saddest part of this statement is that just watch how fast the person "drops" you!!! Most people on this and other "free" sites, have no class, no heart...no brains! Go to your paid sites...much better quality of people!!!!:modhammer: | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:37:49 PM |
to allowing people with disabilities opportunities to live meaningful lives.
"ALLOW"?? That's pretty condescending, isn't it? Most of the barrier removal, employment rights, etc, were enacted because disabled people raised Hell about it. Many disabled people managed to lead very fulfilling lives before the rest of society decided to "allow" them that "privilege".
Should being a dumbass be listed on profiles?
Cindy O | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:42:28 PM |
Health Problems or Disabilities that would affect a pregnancy are VERY important for those looking for LTR's & Dating
Hmm...I'd say half to 3/4 of the guys in my age range that I've dated either are diabetic, or borderline( and not all of them are fat mouth breathers, either). I never thought, since most of them are over 45( at least) that I should warn them about getting pregnant.
The things you learn on PoF!
Cindy O | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:55:50 PM | | I was born a type 1 diabetic AND NOW AMUTATED BELOW KNEE. i AM OPEN WITH IT. i PUT ON MY PROFILE THWT i HAVE A DIABILITY. wHEN sOMEONE ASK WHAT IS WRONG i TELL THEM. yOU DON'T LIST YOUR DISABILITES ,JUST SAY YOU ARE DISABLED. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:57:00 PM | nobody'sreally mentioned...that disabilities can be something... so that somepeople can actually seek out a certain disability...if a person hasone leg say..it probably gives them some other endearing quality that is very attractive...lack of prejudice forexample,?fabulous personality ,?that could come forth in their personality...as miss or mr perfect will probably have a lot of prejudice which will be very difficult to live with...
do all talented piano players have full heads of hair and perfect figures?
if you meet someone with a fabulous personality...you dont see that on a few dates..the first few dates you justsee a bummbling idiot...
no you have to get to know someone for that little cherry to come out...
me i want someone witha fabulous personality..not miss perfect who turns outto be a pain to be with.. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:10:33 PM | | Yes they should be listed although I can understand why a person with a disability would be reluctant to do so....lots of discrimination out there. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:27:38 PM |
Yes they should be listed
So what constitutes a disability? Are we talking medical definition? Legal definition?
Are chronic, treatable/controlled medical conditions to be considered "disability?"
What about nonapparent/intermittent disorders? ( some of which can be impairing enough to keep a person from working a 40 hr week, yet interfere very little with what's generally considered a "normal" lifestyle in other aspects).
Personally, if you are on a walker, in a chair, depend significantly on a cane, are missing an eye, a limb, are legally blind, or have communication difficulties( hearing or speech impairments) then you are probably best served to bring that up BEFORE you meet with someone in person...nobody likes to be blindsided. But other medical conditions/issues, it's a judgement call.
But "listing" "disabilities" on your profile? Why not insist that a figure be given for income? Why not require to cstegorize one's living situation( homeowner? Renter?)
Why not require a credit score? Whether you've ever filed bankruptcy( these things are not apparent but could significantly impact a new spouse/SO.)
Cindy O
Cindy | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:32:40 PM | Although I would usually hope most members would be forthcoming concerning matters that might affect others, this falls into a grey area. Full or partial disclosure of one's disability is that member's personal choice. We should attempt to respect their decision, yet realize as others have mentioned, this most personal information will later be discovered. It would seem evident then, possible, later emails could lead to this disclosure.
If a person does in fact have any disability ( or health risks, STDs' etc.) it has the potential to later carry consequences that could affect others. This is a big discretionary call on the member in question. Therefore; if the disability is not clearly mentioned in the profile, it is just my opinion, that an interested party should be told at an appropriate time later. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:56:09 PM | | My ex-husband has diabetes, high blood pressure, high chlorestol, and several other things. Those health problems did not bother me. What did bother me was I tried very hard to cook healthy foods to help combat the illnesses and he stopped at a restaurant purchased a triple decker hamburger, french fries and a supersized milkshake. Health problems can be worked around if the individual takes care of themselves. I know a couple, he is in a wheelchair.........they have children........don't dimiss....... | |
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