| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:42:01 AM | Hello OP....in my opinion, those with disabilities should have choice whether they want to post it on a profile or save it to disclose later in a private email or phone call.
But iam not sure if many men with a very tiny p*nis will post their disability on a public forum or even a private email...
Such as to the disappoint of this lady......
Or what if a man has a very tiny penis? Shouldnt they put that on their profile next to weight, height and eye color?? I really mean it, I dated a man for six months, everything was excellent, similar interests, mature, taking it slow, then on the night we were going to be together he confesses that he has a very tiny penis. I felt betrayed, he should have told me long before that, not the first date... but after the first month.. : quoted by betterlate.
I didn't realise having a tiny p*nis was a disability, I thought it was just unfortunate.....
Is there a disability pension for having a very small p*nis | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:26:56 AM | HEY folks I think this thread and the one on "Dating a guy with disabilities" sort of run hand in hand.I see a lots of womens opinions on the answers but no one talked about dating a girl with physical limitations(handicaps). Hum- where are the equal rights here? I have meet many without hands, are blind and all in all a great person.
I have meet people with sight limitations and physical limitations who have accepted their position in life and are well educated, smart with academic knowledge,and street smarts, and finically well set for the rest of their lifes. Some times they are better than the qoute "normal " person. Why you asked? They had set goals to achive in their life they had drive to achieve beyond their present lives of the limitations. and yes they did achieve them: Lawyers, musicians and many more.
As for their disabilies being listed on the profiles , there can be a yes and no answer applied here. Example if one is limited to a wheelchair yes if it creates mobility problems and the potnetial date doesn't know it ahead of time. Thus a social shock.
Then on the other hand one with a small limitation unseen( ex. diabeties- asmatha,or maybe an amputee) I think its best not to post it on a profile. After the introduction then if necessary the limitations should be talked about and accepted by both parties on both sides w/o regard. Remember it the personality and the heart that really matters.
As for the lady with the mate with the small male private part, just think you might get old one day and need the comfort of a good man without a strong sex drive. Think about it. Sex is great while it lasts but you don't marry sex alone in a realtionship or marriage .
Last statement: Accept people for who they are- where they are in life and enjoy them you might need them one day! | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:57:31 AM | RE:BETTER LATE--
DO YOU THINK A MAN SHOULD PUT ON HIS PROFILE THAT HE HAS A SMALL PENIS? HOW ABOUT IF HE HAS (WHAT HE THINKS ) IS A LARGE ONE.--
MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE A SECTION WHERE A GUY CAN PUT THAT INFO ON HIS PROFILE AND HOW LONG HE LASTS AND OTHER TYPE OF THAT KIND OF INFO. OF COURSE HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH. UNTIL YOU SEE IT WE ALL ARE LONG-DONGS AND LAST ALL NITE. CAL | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:19:52 AM | No disabilities should not be listed on profiles. I take the stand that you shouldn't have a self-defeatist attitude by thinking you are disable. You can be ill, or less able in many ways, but let the person decide for himself upon talking with you, and even upon meeting you for himself to make that call.
If people are concerned about not wasting time, then I'd say if they don't have any patience than they shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:10:50 AM | I agree with hadit, in that the issues do not need to be on a profile but those personal disclosures should be shared as you get to know each other before meeting in person.
hadit, my deepest sympathy on your loss. Stay strong beautiful. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:16:40 AM | | Up to the individual who will have the best idea of how much impact it would have and how they prefer to divulge the information. I am personally an open person and I would talk not only about significant factors, but maybe say msg me for more info... | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:57:41 AM | It's certainly up to the individual. It's probably prudent and honest to mention any disabilities before a first face-to-face meeting, but it is really a matter of personal style when to disclose. I think that it is an ethical strategy to be on a dating site and not list it up front, but it is important to mention it early in a relationship.
Not everyone is prejudiced about disability or difference. I am attracted to women who are somehow physically different: Listing a disability on her profile is more likely to attract me than keep me away.
-Gray | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:09:22 AM | I'd say it is a private matter and would be up to the person to list or not.
Of course also be willing and prepared to the possibility someone may be put off by whatever it is and then just move on to the next.
I personally do not want a man who cannot accept me as I am in all areas of my life and I should hope they would be up front with that as well.
My comment stems from my longest term bf of 6 yrs, a year after I left, telling me he really wanted someone who could have kids (this was something I was upfront with him about when we first met, the fact that I couldn't conceive). I know he tried his best, but the issue was there and I never knew it! I was quite shocked when he finally told me, but glad that he did. I no longer felt bad about leaving him because after that long the relationship had not progressed.
Maybe a good solution would be for those who would find any physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise 'deficient' attribute a deal breaker to just state that in their profile.
It doesn't have to be bluntly put, but if someone who is not active for whatever reason, were to see a profile of a very active person, I would think the non-active person would chose to not persue anything with the active one. So what is wrong with someone who is totally able stating they only want full bodied able people to contact them?
Not a cure all, just a thought. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:54:53 AM | | I feel that it is a personal decision... for myself I have included that I suffer from a chronic pain disorder (Fibromyalgia - which is not on the profile as most people do not know what it is) and that it can slow me down but that it DOES NOT stop me from living a full life... I travel, study, work full time, enjoy my free time... I guess for me I prefer letting people know ahead of time because it does effect my life and would effect a partner's life - there will be days that I can barely get out of bed, need help with the simplest of tasks, a shoulder to cry on, someone to support me.... but there will also be the days that I will be out for hikes with my dog, going out with friends, wanting to cuddle or have crazy wild sex.... but it is definitely a good with the bad type senerio for me. Better they know upfront. JMHO and 2 cents. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:02:58 AM | I don't put my major problem on my profile. But I do mention it very quickly if I get in contact with someone.
If I lie about it or obfuscate it I'm founding a relationship on a lie. Relationships based on lies can't work.
It's up to the individual when and where they tell others about their disabilities or problems. But our society is so obsessed with physical, mental and financial superiority that if you have a problem, expect it to severely limit your chances | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:30:53 AM | I still think it's a personal call on listing, or not listing disabilities...up to each individual. One doesn't need to be totally specific in the listing. One could say "I have a disability that we can discuss"...or words to that effect. I think it's proper to be honest and up front about yourself.
I am in agreement with Romantic Heretic on his statement about our society and its being obsessed with physical, mental and financial superiority. It seems to have come to the point where if you aren't perfect....you are unwanted. This is a very sad thing. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:52:34 PM | That should be left up to the person with the disability. Only that person knows the full extent of their disabilites and how it effects lifestyles. Certainly telling someone before a meet would be a good idea so their is no shock factor. Why waste your time?
I dont think medical conditions should be on there either. I would inmagine that revealling more personal things would be right.
How about family medical history? If a person was looking to have a family, wouldn't that be important? Birth defects, alhoholism, drug addication.
Profiles are just that a profile, an invitation to get to know someone better, not a biography. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:16:00 PM | | I got news for you, Angelheart. Disclosing that I walk with a limp in my profile screens 0ut those men who can't handle my disability - Before wasting MY precious time preparing for a date, where that type of guy will reject me Anyway. If a guy is initially repulsed by my limp when we meet, he won't bother sticking around to get to know me. BTW, I have received a good number of hits on this site... | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:36:37 PM | | Impotence is a good one to mention. I dated someone who failed to mention that he was diabetic and no drugs helped. I wish he would have mentioned it . Obviously not on a dating profile, but at some point before we tried to become physical. It was a real disappointment. I felt that he lied by ommission. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:27:31 PM | My opinion --- when you shop for a used car .... buyer beware. When you look for love .... heart's beware. There are risks in all that we do. I have a better idea .... why not place upon your ( as in every person not you directly ) profile that the creator of the profile is not interested in "disabled" folks. Really, that is such a shallow idea. Why not have boxes to check for inadequate lovers, cheaters, dreamers, rather a person likes or dislikes animals..... Well, let's even break it down even further. Have a checklist for each type of dog that is liked within a group .... wait, wait ... I know. Yes, the absolute best one .... how many times and at what times a person uses the restroom each day. That is so brilliant .... talk about a schedule that could be made ... each person with an alloted time to use the bathroom. Full disclosure ..... LMAO Why not include a person's enire life on the profile? I have sneezed deeper puddles than the one that that idea "full disclosure" originated from. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:48:16 AM | Disabled people obviously know they are not entitled to someone perfect so if someone perfect replies to them they will just ignore the person. The disabled person will only accept invitations from fat, ugly, blue collar, poor etc people so that it is a match. If a disabled person starts off by lying they will get tired of the humiliations of being rejected when they meet the non-disaabled person. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:28:47 AM |
Disabled people obviously know they are not entitled to someone perfect so if someone perfect replies to them they will just ignore the person. The disabled person will only accept invitations from fat, ugly, blue collar, poor etc people so that it is a match. If a disabled person starts off by lying they will get tired of the humiliations of being rejected when they meet the non-disaabled person.
Thanks mio310 for reminding us what disabled people face everyday. Its thinking like that that makes their lives even tougher than they already are. Being disabled doesn't make you less of a person. Have poor character and being ignorant is far more unattractive than being disabled. You don't have to settle for less because you are disabled.
mio310...I read your profile. You sound like you have some serious issues. Being screwed around all your life just means that you need to learn how to take control of your own life. We can't necessarily control things when we are kids but an adult makes the choices for their own life, regardless of what your background has been. If you don't have the skills to change your life, seek out help (theraphy is a great way to start.) Good luck. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 5:10:34 AM | I see that alas the thread discussion is being sidetracked by the absence of a definition of what constitutes a disability and what does not. Having taken the widest possible approach, many fellow posters have made this discussion ... wide.
Thus:
eg
(Male) Impotence may be a disability in the case of Intimate Encounters and most other sexually based rels, but not LTRs, or even dating, since many women say after all that they do not want sex and blame us men for wanting sex. So what is according to women a male disability? Impotence or wanting sex (as a male "mental syndrome" that some women want to present it as).
-------------------------
Is commitment-mania or needing a commitment bond in order to have sex a "disability"?
IMO, honesty is the best policy not only in case of "official" types of disabilities but also all types of characteristics that may affect a rel, sex, hanging out, friends, FwBs, partnerships, etc (physical, mental, financial, job related (eg being a bum), wanting commitment as a pre-req for sex, needing a plumber (or carpenter or rich/sugar daddy BF or spouse, or a bodyguard)), etc etc. As we as abilities.
Maybe the Profile should be renamed or seen as a "balance sheet" statement, with all "liabilities" and "assets" listed and why not, audited!!! Right!!!
Unless one is honest, how can one find the person who really matches his/her tastes, abilities, disabilities, preferences, quirks, eccentricities.
And, while we are at it, why do women who in effect do not like men (actually hate men according to their posts, ie have a disability in understanding why men are the way we are and eg prefer to love their dogs!! (is loving a pet as a human, instead of a man or friend or relative not a mental disability or at least syndrome of sorts??) claim that they seek one?
So for the sake of logic, could we focus on the topic as it was defined and stay with discussing official disabilities? Else, Pandora's box is there and it can be opened so easily!!!!
The Opost was:
<div class='quote'> If a guy or girl has a disability do you think they should list it on their profile? Or do you think they should spring it on you later?
What is significant enough to be disclosed? Should all health issues be disclosed such as....I have auto immune disorder
I am diabetic
I am deaf
I am in a wheel chair.
I lost a limb.
What is your opinion...full disclosure or not?
My opin is:
Diabetic: Depends
Deaf: List
Wheel Chair: List
Lost of Limb: List
I would like to know and in many cases that would not make a difference in my decision to date or not, depending of course on the other elements of the profile !!! We are talking ot Eros and Love here, not of buying a car or a condo!!!
PS. And before someone lashes on me, may I disclose that I am taking care full time of a bed ridden mother with Alzheimer's and that a have a 40 year old first cousin who has never walked and whose mental capacities are that of an 8 yr old, yet makes more sense as a human that many geniouses I know. And that among my mental disabilities are that I like sex, do not like to make commitments for the sake of making them, and cannot tolerate dishonest and prejudiced and stereotyping people!
Cheers to all
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:21:28 AM |
Discrimination against someone with a disability is cold and heartless. People like that should be avoided. .....I agree. Which is why I think the disability should be mentioned in ones profile. It helps to 'weed' out the undesirables.
To have a profile which doesn't mention a disability is deceiving. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:23:43 AM | Nick...excellent post! Enough said, folks!
Actually, on second thought, let me add this concept to the thread overall, not to Nick specifically (thought I best quantify that). If the pervasive expectation out there is people with disabilities should include the overall laundry list of their respective disabilities in their profiles (after all, sometimes the more invisible ones are more challenging in a relationship than the visible ones), then is it not also a reasonable expectation that those individuals who have the preference to avoid involvement with disabled persons include a laundry list of excluded disabilities in their profiles?
Fair is fair, after all. | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:39:43 AM | This is horrendous!
"Someone perfect" "Disabled people obviously know they are not entitled ?" Disabled people and " fat, ugly, blue collar, poor etc people?" should only talk to each other?
There are so many incorrect preconceptions and prejudices here, that it is really unpleasant and to read.
-Gray
> Disabled people obviously know they are not entitled to someone perfect so if someone
> perfect replies to them they will just ignore the person. The disabled person will only
> accept invitations from fat, ugly, blue collar, poor etc people so that it is a match. If a
> disabled person starts off by lying they will get tired of the humiliations of being rejected
> when they meet the non-disaabled person | |
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| Should disabilities be listed on profiles?
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:43:28 AM |
Which is why I think the disability should be mentioned in ones profile. It helps to 'weed' out the undesirables.
To have a profile which doesn't mention a disability is deceiving
Really? Deceiving to who? "Disability" or being less able is in the mind of the person who perceives the respective challenge of the person as an indication of being "less able". Frankly, it has been my experience and observation that the attitudes of technically non-disabled persons are a greater "disability" than that of the technically disabled person.
There actually is no deceit without intent to deceive and what I find appalling in this whole thread as well as a second thread going on this same topic is the presumption that failure to post one's "challenges" on their profile is assigned intent to deceive whereas I just betcha more often than not the disclosure isn't made because the individual doesn't perceive his/herself as disabled. Nor should they. That being said, whose "stuff" is really at issue? (general question not directed at anyone in particular). | |
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