| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:07:24 AM | Old-fashioned values=not hopping into bed/sex real soon/immediately
It's all economic to me--women don't HAVE to get married any more just to survive, so men don't have to "wait until marriage" for sex. A big draw of marriage--THE big draw?--was that THAT was how men got sex. Now they can get it by simply asking. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:17:03 AM | First of all - my morals have not changed. I have no problem respecting myself.
Otherwise - I blame Clinton. Yes I do!!! First he said he didn't inhale, and people believed him, then he said a BJ isn't sex.. the rest is history.
j/k! | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:21:30 AM | Morality is, on the whole, a construct.
Some things are going to change with time.
I would argue, though, that things haven't really changed that much.
People treat sex like a handshake?
Weren't some peoples' parents saying the same thing in the 1960s, 70s, 80sl and 90s?
Nothing has really changed-- communication has just become globalized in a way that allows us to hear about it constantly.
I have a moral code. I don't sleep around, but other people do and that's their business. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:24:29 AM | "Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose."
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
It's old fashioned values alright. We're fucking like it's 1969! | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:58:14 AM | Wendycats, I'm older than you so I don't think the issue of morals/values is connected to history as much as our environments. I've met people who were teens in the 60s but so uptight they squeaked when they walked while others were doing the free love thang. Personally, I came up in the 70s so there was still a lot of if-it-feels-good-do-it mental hangover from the 60s. And what some others have posted is correct... it's nothing new under the son. People further back in history just hid it a lot better cuz the social repercussions were a lot stronger.
I was a lot... uhm... busier about 30 years ago than I've been the past 20 years... and now I'm not active at all. I think people grow and change, some for better, some for worse depending on one's personal perspective. I myself know my past actions don't make me a bad person, but rather are indicative of poor judgment. We all do the best we can with the information and resources available to us at any given time, and when we are younger some of us really do not make the connection between our actions and the consequences of them. It makes for some hard lessons. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:01:14 AM |
As far as I'm concerned, there are as many people today who are kind, good, and honest people as there ever was in
them good ol' days...it's just a matter of opening up our hearts and letting them in.
I also believe that people reap what they sow, and that kindness breeds kindness...but to each their own;)
No truer words could be said, best answer in the thread IMO.
OP: Perhaps you should have said "Morals" instead of "Old Fashioned Values"?
There is a serious decline of basic politeness over the Net, that I can see, but I don't think as a whole society is in turmoil. I still hold the door for the next person, I say Thank You to my server and so does my Kid.
Hmmm, maybe it has something to do with the parenting...
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:14:47 AM | | My guess is that overall, morals havent changed THAT much. What has changed is our AWARENESS of the more carnal side of human nature. I remember my dad showing me a newspaper article from back in the 1800's where a guy was convicted for having sex with a horse and both he and the horse were hung. The main diff between then and now is its all so much more in your face. Back then it was an obscure newspaper article read in one town. Today, it would be a damn YouTube video. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:19:10 AM | RE: First post.
People have morals. They just arent the same as before. Plus the worlds a different place than back then. More streesful, dangerous and hectic. I dont think you can really afford to have old fashioned morals these days and live a good normal life. Just my opinion. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:34:22 AM | Are we talking strictly about old fashioned values/morals regarding sex? or is it regarding dating? maybe our entire lives as a whole? lol Im confused.
Views regarding sex change every few years. A new disease, a new precaution. I think its important to respect yourself and the choices you make as opposed to respecting society or 'whats in' or acceptable, regardless of how the times have changed. In my mind, the only respect I need to pay attention to in regard to who I let share my bed, so to speak, is to myself. It doesnt have to mean I marry the person but it does have to mean (at least to me) that I am safe and protected. Does that mean I am without morals? No, I dont think it does. Others may think it does but I dont care about that...at the end of the day, I havent let myself down so I can be 'ok' with my choices. I have made it this far without ever having gotten (or likewise given) a disease of any kind so I must be doing something right ;) | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:46:18 AM | Wow, what a post thats hits me right at home. I have been asking this same question about when did sex become a recreational sport? I dont know if its societies lack of morals or maybe I just attract the wrong guys. I know when I tell them how I feel about the sex thing, they usually make fun of me and then dissappear. How many times I have been called "nun" or told that I am too old to be acting that way about sex...or that I am gonna die a lonely old woman because I wont do what they want me too.
I am the only one who can take care of ME. If a man cannot respect that, then he wasnt for me anyway. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:50:44 AM | Never forget that however much you try to emotionalize it sex is a natural act only insititutions of social manipulation created by men have tried to portray as some sort of spiritual event.
I'm willing to spend some time to get to know a woman before I knock her boots off. It's not gonna be like a Russian Novel consumed with angst and suffering though. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:51:48 AM | It's not just people's attitude toward sex that has changed (especially since the sexual revolution in the 60's), but people's morals, values, ethics, etc. have all changed - for the WORSE! Heck, many people don't even have manners nowadays - I've heard people fart, burp, etc. without excusing themselves. If that wasn't enough, I've gone out with men who made MAJOR blunders (with me) & refuse to say that they're "sorry"! Naturally, these relationships did NOT last (I broke them off - and fast).
It's sad to see that good morals, manners, lack of RESPECT & CONSIDERATION, etc. have gone out the window with many people. I still believe in high morals, standards, ethics, manners, etc. but I seem to be a rare breed compared to others. It seems also that the 'younger' generation are even worse - maybe because many parents don't want to put the time in to ensure that their children acquire good manners and treat others with respect. So sad really.
P.S. I'm in no way accusing everyone of being this way (as stated above) - but MANY are - as I have seen, and continue to see, bad behaviour (and bad attitudes) all around me every day! | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:59:08 AM | | prettyface2: I totally agree about the manners. I get laughed at by my friends and family because, when they are in my home, they will be asked to leave if they cant control their "bodily functions" for lack of a better phrase. I canNOT stand burping and farting....there is a place for it and I can assure you, that place is NOT around other people. But even in restaurants, malls, theaters....you hear it and everyone laughs, like its funny. Its a huge pet peeve of mine. Its called being polite and respecting people around you, something that is seriously lacking in society today. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:17:05 PM |
" Being viewed as just another sausage with feet ...... is not my idea of fun. "
Oh DAMN that's good... I've gotta use that sometime.
OK, OK "old fashioned values"...?
Y'mean like: "women are basically detestable and should be used for procreation only, recreational sex should be enjoyed with boys" --- Ancient Greeks… y'know, Socrates and Plato, the ones that the Christians always quote?
Or how 'bout: "It's OK to have sex with your slaves, as long as none of the offspring are given public recognition as anything other than slaves." ---Ancient Romans (including the later Christian ones)… and, come to think of it, Thomas Jefferson, et al…?
Or maybe: "git yer clothes back on and git back in that damn house and make my dinner, yew jezebel! Yew kin yell "rape" all yew wanna but 'twon't do no good-- yer mah wife, an' yew belongs ta meeeeee!" ---Um, Jerry Fallwell?
Alright, alright, extreme examples... but the point's still there. Every generation has to deal with it's own moral issues, and none have a monopoly on "goodness". It wasn't all that long ago that Hitler's "moral majority" was burning people for being Jewish, or that McCarthyism was destroying peoples' lives in the name of "American" values.
One thing that's always made me curious is that whenever "morals" and "old-fashioned values" are brought up, it's always about sex. What about "Thou shalt not kill?" You know-- like not bombing everyone we happen to disagree with this year (even though we might have actually been giving them weapons last year)? Or maybe not torturing people just because, well frankly, it's wrong, and makes us look as depraved as any terrorist group in the world.
(ssssigh) [/rant]
Oh, right! These kids, these days.... morality just ain't what it used to be, nossir! | |
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LBTBM
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Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 40 | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:22:50 PM | Yeah message 5 is right.
They may have masked it better in some eras, but it was always about sex. Don't fool yourselves.
That being said I'm sure there are plenty of men that share the same morals as you, just a matter of finding them. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:25:38 PM |
when we were younger we were taught that we should have morrals.why now years down the line, that they dont even count no more.theres to many diseases around and some NOT all people think sex is a number one thing.me personally, it should stay special between two people.
Just because you were taught something, doesn't mean it was true or an accurate depiction of a time period. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:53:21 PM | | Here is a thought (and I haven't had many today so let's hope it's good). Why don't people just do what makes them happy. If you want to wait to have sex until you've been dating a month or a year or you get married, I'm really happy for you. If it makes you happy, go for it. I'm going to go the other way and have sex when I'm in the mood, attracted to someone and horny. And you know what, we are both going to be okay because we are happy. There is no need for all of us to live by a certain set of values. We are consenting adults so make your choices, own them, live them and be happy. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:18:11 PM | Wendycats asks why sex is such a big issue in dating, where have the old fashion values gone. I ask her why then if she misses values that she shows so much skin in her photo with her profile?    | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:27:56 PM | | Funny you should say that, almost that same thought went through my head but I didn't voice it. Here you are saying "What happened to...blah blah" and you're sitting in a bathrobe in what could be assumed to be a sauna with skin showing. Hmmm, comes off rather hypocritical, no? | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:28:06 PM | "where have the old fashioned values gone"..................I would say they've gone down the plumbing with the royale toilet paper
Being serious now, as already mentioned by a couple of posts, times have changed, we are on fast forward, seeking instant gratification and rather then sticking to our own beliefs, we've allowed ourselves to be swayed by what society has deemed as 'new and improved', 'must haves', 'in', 'all the rage', etc. etc.
Values range from how we dress, what we eat, what cars we drive, homes we live in, how we look and how we view to-day's standards in relationships. We are bombarded by 'T.V. relationship experts'. Magazine articles are flooded with 'how to', 'what to look for', what to do if he/she does such and such', generalizations. None of these 'experts' know YOU. They cannot base their findings on YOUR life experiences. Therefore, their 'opinions' can only be taken at face value.
Personally, I think we lose sight of our own beliefs, when we start doubting and questioning ourselves and our own morals and begin to wonder if perhaps we are out of sync with the rest of the world. Everyone else seems to know what's right or wrong, but us!
I think one needs to take back control of one's own life, beliefs and convictions. Perhaps then will we be able to truly feel like we are back in the driver's seat and headed in the right direction that works for each of us as unique, one of a kind, individuals.
Values, like individuals, are different to each of us. There are no rights or wrongs. To impose my values on another, is wrong. If I seek another for a relationship, the right thing to do is search out those with same or similar values and morals.
Be who you are and hold true to your values. You will never have everyone agreeing with you, some may even critize your way of thinking, but then remember, they are NOT you! | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:51:07 PM | well its sad to say but your right there isnt lots of people with old fashion values around.its cause of the times we live in.i believe it starts with the parents tough.if your parents put in u good values that they grew up with then more than likely u will become an adult that continues to follow thoses values yourself.i was raised with good values and morals and i do find it hard to find a women that was raised that way too.
when i say good values and morals to me it means an old fashion way of seeing certain things.and maybe when we think about it old fashion values just means simply having good values.cause in the old days people seem more to have values then they have nowadays.i think the problem today is that lots of parents arent at home as much to raise the kids cause of them working and the kids end up getting theyre values from the darn media.movies,music,tv shows movie and tv stars.when kids are young thats when they pick up theyre values and when theyre minds are shape into the adult they will become.kids are very easy to influence.they want to be cool so they try to be like what the stars they like are like.for example look at our kids or young teens idol theses days for young girls and guys theyre the worst people to idolize.britney spears is just one example.she did it all.lol evry example of bad values to show kids.
and like someone said shows like sex and the city wich shows a bunch of adult sluts jumping from one guy to the next just for fun.i believe there is a good number of people who was raised with good values but the only ones who wont let the media and pop culture tell them to change theyre values have to be very smart people cause its not easy to resist the peer pressure of modern society. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:55:02 PM | Respect is never old-fashion!
To me is a matter of respect for Myself and to Myself.
But I am not concerned with what others do...that's their business.
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 3:43:43 PM | I am a 49 single woman and I suppose a 'born again virgin' I am attractive and could at any point have sex with any male that I choose. Unfortunatley for me there are too many women that will 'shag' at the drop of a hat!
At the moment when I meet someone and say 'No' to sex I am looked upon as some sort of sexual leper or frigid ****! Maybe I could be lesbian!!!
Lets go back to our moral teachings . Sex without feeling for the person that you are having sex with is not a good experience. It it becomes just gratification! I feel that Iwant to enjoy the experience not beat myself up about it the next day!
Would like to know if syerra is male or female? | |
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