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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:24:45 AM | But smart women and dumb men doesn't seem to be a winning combination.
This is a crock.
If anything, women aren't terribly interested in men with formulated opinions. And they are also easier to emotionally dominate. I know a good volume of women who are smug and self-righteous because they feel they are above men that are of lesser intelligence than them, but still seek out the ones that they can use for utility purposes, anyway. They claim they don't want yes-men, but associate with others that placate their egos.
The worse thing some women can do is berate a men as "stupid" simply because he is in disagreement with her, whether it is lifestyle choice or on various issues that hold some gravity. It's a turn off, regardless of his level of intellect.
The way American society is set up, men don't want their women to make them feel stupid,
I see anti-male bias in our society is prevalent. You don't need to be a "smart" girl in order to castigate men, it makes several women feel empowered even if it's a tirade filled with insults and cut downs rather than reason and facts; when men put women in their place, it's considered emotional abuse. | |
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roddw
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Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 28 | |
| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:44:11 AM | Men like hot women first, smart is a plus but not necessary.
if you nag ,****, or are annoying , smart really doesnt have a chance.
it's very low on the totem pole.
hot and sexy are #1
Smart is like an added extra if it's an option. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:08:16 PM | | Some smart guys may be able to date a dumb woman, but I certainly couldn't. Intelligence is an absolute requirement for me. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:25:31 PM | OP,
Intelligent Gentlemen prefer Brains.
I believe a smart men prefer what they determine they wish to seek in a woman. I believe that a smart man is looking for a best friend who will share his dreams for the future. In a smart man's ideal world, he 'd be able to have dinner with his wife and talk about what's going in at the office-his projects, his career-and ask her about hers in return. He is looking for some back-and-forth discussion, some advice, and a real sense of mutual engagement.
In a recent Mathc.com poll, 74 percent of women thought men would be intimidated by accomplished women, but a full 62 percent of men said no way: They aren't afraid of dating or marrying career women(Deborah Siegel,"The New Trophy Wife",Psychology Today, Feb. 2006).
Conventional wisdom has it that men are intimidated by, or less attracted to, women who makes as much money as they do or more. This thinking holds that men prefer the image of the male provider bringing home the bacon to an appreciative wife and children tucked away at home. But times are changing, and high-achieving young men don't perceive salary as an obstacle. For some high earners, it is a non issue, and for lower earners, it is an added plus!!
Good luck. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:55:42 PM |
Care to expound on the 'place' that women need to be put?
There are women out there that don't want to hear the direct truth. They would rather "win" an argument by emotional bullying, or what they want to hear.
If a man did the same thing to a woman in a constant basis, he's be considered emotionally abusive. If he charged, "I'm right you're going to listen no matter what," he's a jerk.
There's a good amount of female jerks, too. They just don't like to think of themselves like that. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:57:19 PM |
The way American society is set up, men don't want their women to make them feel stupid, and they will feel stupid if she's smarter than they are and has the indecency to show it. What men say ("I want an intelligent woman") is different from what they actually do or feel, consciously or not.
Bologney!
rachelmybell: Your mistake was not that you put it all out there, it was the TYPE of things you put all out there. Politics, religion, how many inches you have your pants, and IQ should not be just stuck out there to dry like dirty laundry. If you wield a weapon you must be careful how you use it. IQ can be a weapon, don't point it at everyone and expect them all to like it, silly girl!
Tactfulness
Oneday, too, you might find a kind enough guy and realize that his kindness and your intelligence can balance out each other. That you, by virtue of your intelligence, can somewhat look out for his interests. He will have some attribute that does the same for you. It's why opposites can not only attract but function so well together. But their has to be some concensus somewhere.... whether it is in the mind, in emotions, or even in bed. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:58:25 PM | On Match, I decided to be true to myself. I talked about my involvement with the Green Party, mentioned I was a member of MENSA, and talked about my love of Scrabble, chess, and criminal justice studies.
If you're really a member of MENSA then you understand how statistically rare you are. Intelligence of that level makes it hard to relate to the issues that normal people deal with--it's not a fair fight and that means you're incompatible.
That kind of intelligence is intimidating to anyone, not just men. I've had a similar reaction from women so don't gender smear. Unfortunately, intelligence doesn't automatically include an open mind.
Simple answer to the question at hand: emphatically, yes. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:19:02 PM | Brainy chicks are HOT! 
I'd only tell the smarter women never to come off as a know-it-all, or competitive with men. Even if you are better than the guy in terms of IQ and income, by being somewhat**** (thinking it's confidence).
The problem I've seen too many times with the more professional successful brainy women is that they sometimes forget to be feminine. So you meet them and they are still in a more "competing with men" mode, when it's more time to put away the claws and be a lady. I'm not saying she needs to be some frail needy helpless thing...but if she's coming off as almost condescending to men and even at times challenging them too much, it's going to weigh in on his own ego and make him think you will be the kind of woman he'll be arguing with the rest of his life.
I will say some guys do want the helpless fail needy girl. The one who is inferior to him in every facet. Less brains, less income, less everything (but still hot). My advice to the brainy women is to ignore those guys the way I tell guys to ignore the women who drool for jerks and playas.
Just don't forget how to be a lady...because men want to date women, not other men in dresses. Hope you understand. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:29:46 PM | It's turn off for many men that women want to compete with women on every level. There's so many young women that make that big mistake, and don't even realize their own competitiveness with both men and other women is ruining their relationships. Men want a companion, not someone who incessantly tries to engage in usurping them and reveling in battling with them; it isn't going to get very far in the long haul.
Personally, I don't like the damsels in distress types, but it's curious how many "strong, independent, intelligent" women still long for someone to best them or rescue them even though the claim they don't want men who are dominate.
Hypergamy, anyone? | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 4:47:07 PM | Being smart....
or even VERY smart isn't a turnoff or an issue for most guys.
(only is for insecure ones.)
But alot of women may be smart AND bossy
or smart AND kindof cold.
or smart and other attributes that are a turnoff.
Rather than look at oneself accurately,
it's just easier to think...
"It's cus I'm smart." | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:03:18 PM | I don’t know if what your saying is what’s really going on in your interactions. Not that I know what’s really going on but just a thought that can be looked into further.
No, most men don’t want to control women. I think they are searching for respect. Let them be a man and you hold up your end and be a woman.
A “Smart Women” and a ‘Smart Man’ can be a powerful combo in bed and in business.
Thorwing a rock here; do you know what it is to be a woman?
I’m not saying this to be mean or have malicious intentions.
For any woman reading this – what does/is womanhood mean to them? | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:20:15 PM | I understand that it makes you feel better thinking that's the reason, as opposed to say, they just aren't physically attracted to you.
WOW, so men DO get physically attracted to people over a computer? I mean seriously, how can that happen if you are not physically near the person? And, is that all you are really looking for,,,someone who will "get down" with you over the computer?
TO THE OP:
I get it too, cant find someone to have a good conversation with that leads to a real first date, they small talk me then want more pictures of me (which I will never supply). If I give them my number, they want to meet immediately that night,,,and then imply they would love to have sex with me, so I just dont go. It would be nice to find someone on here that actually IS looking for something more meaningful than being attracted to pictures on a monitor. UGH.
And guys, I know there are some of you out there that are not the type of man I refer to here (see quote) and that you DO exist. I've just experienced more Horn Dogs than Gentlemen on the internet.
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:23:06 PM | my first paragraph of the above post was supposed to be a quote from message #2,,,,,
One of these days I will figure out this site,,,,as far as the forums are concerned.
SOOOOOOO ANNNNOYYYIIIIINGGGGGG NOT LONG ENOUGHHHHHHH
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:31:40 PM | | Men like all kinds of women. Like anything else, there will be men who like it, and men who don't. As far as the guys I know, sure we like smart women. But just like when we hang out with men who are smarter than we are, we don't like it tossed in our face. Now, I could easily go on about how smart I am. I can pass the I.Q. tests with ease. Back in school, I was always labeled an underachiever because of those damned tests they gave to find out how smart we are, and boy were my parents pissed off on a regular basis because the school guidance counselors kept calling them in to discuss my laziness, lack of achievement and ambition. But overall, I'm just an average guy. I just have the ability to beat the tests. I haven't managed to beat life, which I consider the ultimate test. So, O.P., rate your intelligence on how well you are doing in life overall. If you've achieved your goals, and are happy, well then, you're smart. If not, well then, perhaps not so smart. Educated does not mean intelligent. It just means you spent time in school, memorizing material. I know doctors who only know what they were taught, and seem unable to learn anything new on their own. How smart is that? Not very. So, smart woman, figure out what you're doing wrong. After each episode, write down what went right, and where you figured something went wrong. Be honest, and write to each guy and ask what changed their mind, and PROMISE not to get angry AT ALL. Maybe you'll get an answer. Your friends will probably not tell you. They don't want to hurt your feelings. Rachelmybell wrote that you're pretty, yet you live a thousand miles apart. So unless you've known her in real life, she really doesn't know what you look like. But she's doing what women do constantly, saying something nice in support of someone (in public. What women say about each other in private can be horrendous). A picture can't show what you really look like, and your pictures only show your face and profile in one pose. And to end this off, of course, it may have nothing to do with intelligence or looks. Liking someone or not is a very subjective thing. You either feel it, or you don't. So, keep on looking. Good luck. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:34:40 PM | Intelligence is relative. When a man or woman say they want an intelligent partner, they really mean they're looking for someone approximately equal to themselves.
If the difference is too great, it will be hard to have satisfying conversations. Just look at the level of frustration on some of the forum threads. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:37:24 PM | | I LOVE smart women!!!!!!! The physical attraction only lasts for so long; but there is much to be said about mental stimulation. Now when a woman is sexy AND smart.... look out. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:41:57 PM |
If you're really a member of MENSA then you understand how statistically rare you are. Intelligence of that level makes it hard to relate to the issues that normal people deal with--it's not a fair fight and that means you're incompatible.
As of this writing this thread has had 442 views. 2% of the GP is capable of joining Mensa. So if the GP has acessed this thread then the odds would say there have been 9 Mensa capable people who have read this thread already. I'd bet it might be higher because the word smart in the title will likely attract more smart people to read it in the first place.
I'm just saying -- 9 people, is that really so statistically rare?
Uncommon, but truly rare? I doubt it. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:52:30 PM | taz_in_love, msg 39:
I mean seriously, how can that happen if you are not physically near the person?
Well, us guys you see, we have these things called eyes, and we use them to look at these things called pictures, and if we like how a girl looks in these picture things then it makes us feel funny. Crazy, eh?
And, is that all you are really looking for,,,someone who will "get down" with you over the computer?
I'm not looking for that at all. Why would you assume that? What is wrong with you? | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:58:56 PM | If you're really a member of MENSA then you understand how statistically rare you are. Intelligence of that level makes it hard to relate to the issues that normal people deal with--it's not a fair fight and that means you're incompatible.
I agree with you a hundred percent. Seems like a lot of people don't seem to understand how polarizing it can be to have a high IQ. It's more than a number; it changes the way you perceive the world and relate to other human beings. You pretty much expressed that in a much pithier way than I could have, and I've been trying to do it for awhile.
But it's also (insert expletives here) unfair that it makes me incompatible with the vast majority of people, men and women both. I don't want to intimidate people, but I find that when I *am* myself, I do that, unintentionally.
I don't know how to find a balance. Any suggestions? I have tried not mentioning it and pretending to be someone I'm not, but that failed horribly. I have tried being open about it and hanging my intellectual freak flag out in public, and that's basically brought on derision (due to intimidation/lack of understanding, I assume).
At this point, I've virtually made it a policy to surround myself with like-people, but they aren't easy to come across. So how does one balance out a difference that makes them rare-ish (although not impossible to find, as another poster pointed out) but that does get in the way of forming inter-personal relationships? | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:15:09 PM |
Everytime I start talking to a man on this site, it never gets me anywhere. I use somewhat good verbal and written skills when I e-mail these gentlemen. I may be a little bit sarcastic in a joking way. I always let them know I am on this site looking for a lasting relationship. They ask for my number and never seem to call. Or, they talk back and forth with me and then nothing.
I'm wondering why you think the reason they don't or stop talking to you is because your smart? Did any of these men say that they are intimated by you because you are smart or are you just assuming this? | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:09:06 PM | I have a deep respect for smart people of either sex. Most of the time, they are smart enough to return the respect.
And can YOU explain why you chose to post this? If this isn't the most often-posted topic, it's a close second
Big deal.
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:56:00 PM | Gotta say, 'smart' women are pretty much at the top of my list. I need someone who can challenge me and occassionally run rings around me. I enjoy kicking the mind into over-drive.
Sure, intelligence changes the way you see things and interact with people. But, in the end, it's just another facet of your personality. I know I wouldn't want to change it for the worse.
The most important thing is not to get too caught up in it. Nobody likes pretentiousness or arrogance. It's not what you say, it's how you deliver it. Being a scientist in training, I'll admit, scientists are EXTREMELY snooty, and often try to bamboozle people with their latin and functionally alien vocabulary. I'm fairly certain lawyers, politicians and even corporate types are the same.
Most people can understand very complex concepts if they're explained plainly. If they can't, well, unfortunate for them. Lots of people are intelligent in other areas of life e.g. being technically good with machines, good musicians, just seem to have that feel for driving heavy machinery etc.
Either way, the cerebral types are always going to be far and few between; Accept it, that and the fact that it's tough finding a match who WANTS to deal with it, let alone can keep up and challenge you. | |
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| Do men Like Smart Women??
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:12:56 AM | | I prefer smart women. Sometimes I'm intimidated by them too, but that's kinda hot (IMO)! | |
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