| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:43:20 PM | | that is a nice generalization that you put out there about single dads. There were 300,00 single dads in 1970 and now the number is over 2.4 million. Single Dad's have stepped up to the plate big time. And there is statistics that show single dad's are more content on being single and concentrating on their parental duties then single mom's. I'm not knocking the mom's but on average the men are financially stable so they don't need to be dependant on that. I have been through so many gender assumptions since I've been a single dad it is ridiculous. I think men don't organize groups as well and we just bite the bullet and do what we have to do and that is why we don't get the recognition that should be deserved. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:47:20 PM | I do realize this is an open forum, but, it never seizes to amaze me the amount of childless individuals who come to a single parents forum to "share their 2 cents" on single parenthood. I am willing to bet, that, at some point in their dating life, they felt jipped and burned by one, therefore, must come here to vent about how they themselves got "played". Dude. Im all for you not dating a single parent. Go for it! I wasnt always a mom-I dated single fathers, because it did not bother me. However, before I got married and had a child, I did have my preferences, which we ALL have. Of course Id have much rather dated a man who did not have children, as I did not have any at that time either. But, the LAST thing I did as a single woman with no children, is come into a single parents forum and BLAST those who are. To me, that equates being left burned and bitter from another single parent who 'did them wrong'.
Concluding-if you dont want to date single parents-fine. Why waste anyones time right? Thats your choice, as it is mine to only date single fathers. But, never assume that that single parent became one because of being played. Never assume they are "dead to the world" and "homeridden" because of it either. With that ignorant view, its best you save that single parents time. I personally wouldnt date someone who had such an obviously jaded narrow minded view on single parenthood.  | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 8:07:05 PM | I know that there are different reasons why women become single moms, but there are really no theoretics about it. You are a single mom because you:
Had a child by the wrong guy, or
You now have a child and are not married, (it doesn't matter how you got the child)
I would freely say that 99% of single moms simply had a kid by the wrong guy, they were not using contraceptives, or they were not fit to be moms. That's not a sterotype, that's just what most likely happened and everyone knows it.
Single mom's get so sensitive if they think someone is bashing them, but it's okay for them to bash a single person or if a guy does not want to date them they run him threw the mud, and claim that he must not be a real man, or his loss, or they don't deserve me, or he is not mature enough......Single people without kids, should not get involved with single parents. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 8:55:55 PM |
I know that there are different reasons why women become single moms
If so, then there is no need to add your ignorant self inflicted "statistics"
(it doesn't matter how you got the child)
Yes. Yes it does.
I would freely say that 99% of single moms simply had a kid by the wrong guy, they were not using contraceptives, or they were not fit to be moms. That's not a sterotype, that's just what most likely happened and everyone knows it.
Then I would freely ask you to supply where you got your statistics.
Bullshit. You can "freely" give your opinion, but, provide me proof of your 99%. If not, you have no clue how that 99% came to be.
Single mom's get so sensitive if they think someone is bashing them
Wrong. But, I am only speaking for myself, you can have your opinions, no matter how jaded them come out of your ignorant mouth. I do not feel bashed at all. I am actually snorting at your view. You are 38 and no child. I am sure you are "worldly" and have had your bouts with single parents. Which I presume, is how you came to your so blantant snide remarks on single parents. I am 33, and not a young pup. I have been around the block, and, I did not marry the wrong person. How anyone came to be a single parent is not the issue. If you dont want to date em, wtf are you even in here? Dont answer, its a rhetorical question. I think that subconsciensly, you are here because you have been sucked dry of your emotional dealings of a single father. This is your outlet. Its as if I, an American, went into a Canadian forum thread, and trashed their health care system or their way of life. Uh hello? Check yo' self with who you are speaking to.
but it's okay for them to bash a single person or if a guy does not want to date them they run him threw the mud, and claim that he must not be a real man, or his loss, or they don't deserve me, or he is not mature enough
Who bashed? I stated my opinion of your statements. I challanged you, and you want to claim bashing towards a single childless woman.
Single people without kids, should not get involved with single parents.
Your statement is has fallen on deaf ears. Great. Then out of this room. You ARE in a single parents forum. You are barking up the wrong tree. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:15:54 PM |
"But, the LAST thing I did as a single woman with no children, is come into a single parents forum and BLAST those who are. To me, that equates being left burned and bitter from another single parent who 'did them wrong'."
No single person without children cares anything about being dumped by a single parent. But since you put it that way let me think of some reasons why we might be....hmmm.....Oh!
I am so devasted now that I can't sit around with her and the kids that she popped out by another guy.
Oh no.....I don't get to listen to her talk about her and that other guy's kids 24/7
Darn it!! No more advanced planning just to go out to dinner
I'm so devasted that I don't get to share her anymore with her kids, her Ex, her ex inlaws, and any children that her Ex may have that are now her kids half-sister or half-brother | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:52:12 PM |
No single person without children cares anything about being dumped by a single parent.
Oh, but darling, YOU are on here, spouting off about how you "oh so wouldnt get near them". Why even waste your energy on stating this if you wont date them?
I am so devasted now that I can't sit around with her and the kids that she popped out by another guy.
Oh no.....I don't get to listen to her talk about her and that other guy's kids 24/7
Darn it!! No more advanced planning just to go out to dinner
I'm so devasted that I don't get to share her anymore with her kids, her Ex, her ex inlaws, and any children that her Ex may have that are now her kids half-sister or half-brother
Wow. Yup. You got f.ucked over pretty hard didnt'cha? To think that a woman could be so crude towards another innocent child. Holy hell woman. At 38, you have just demonstrated how incrediblly selfish and bitter you have become in your 38 yrs. You are a pretty negative soul aint'cha? | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:00:23 PM |
Wow. Yup. You got f.ucked over pretty hard didnt'cha? To think that a woman could be so crude towards another innocent child. Holy hell woman. At 38, you have just demonstrated how incrediblly selfish and bitter you have become in your 38 yrs. You are a pretty negative soul aint'cha?
Now that the truth is in your face you are trying to make me look bad by saying I'm crude towards an innocent child. Just because someone is not willing to put up with you single moms and another mans kids you think they are a bad person. You have just proved how single moms react when someone doesn't want them because they have a child. I did not say one bad thing about the child, but now all of a sudden I am crude towards children.
There are single moms in my family whose children adore me. They love their mom but they look at me as a role model, I am pretty and stylish and they always show me off their friends. Just because I'm not married, divorced, and brought a kid into a broken home, does not make me selfish. What's selfish is women who bring children into this type of environment, and since the first guy didn't workout now they are willing to have another kid by the next guy, and behold...you have multiple children by multiple men. That's not fair to a child. Women have to be choosy about who they sleep with because guess what? Women can get pregnant. And I think people should make more of an effort to stay with these people who they are having children by. But most single moms kids are 10 and under. That was your choice not ours. Don't think for one second that I'm going to start making concessions for your sake. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:09:40 PM | | Let the records show that I have never been dumped by a single dad, I have have never been in or even considered being in a relationship with a single dad. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:31:22 PM | Do you want a thin mint girl scout cookie?
Now that the truth is in your face you are trying to make me look bad
Nope. You did that all by yourself.
I am saying you are crude because of your answers to various situations that CAN evolve between dating a single parent. That isnt always the case though. But, with your clouded judgment towards how a single parent operates their life, this is all you know.
Let the records show that I have never been dumped by a single dad, I have have never been in or even considered being in a relationship with a single dad.
If youve never dated a single father, then how would you know about those situations you posed? Let me guess, because that is your stereotypical view? Yup. All you have done, is provide ASSUMPTIONS. None is based on your personal experience, so your outlook is null and void. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 9:17:53 AM | PD Vol likes to bash those who will not datre single parents..she also tries to get threads closed started by people asking questions about dating single parents or if you start a thread saying you had a bad experience dating a single parent. Prior to her current name she had Ichange names often and Disney mom as screen names.
OP if you do not want to date a single father don't do it. No one should bash you for your choices. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:21:22 AM | Oh Johne. I see you are still at it again.
Sigh.
I have never gotten a thread closed. If its been closed, it is because it was within violation to begin with.
I would like to ask where anywhere, on this thread, a childless person was bashed for their belief in not dating them. Please. Direct me to where anyone said that. You cannot provide that, because there simply was no such indication.
I have remained steadfast that if one doesnt want to date them. Fine. End of story. But, why come in here and preach to a choir? Whats the point? You ARE in a single parents forum, ARE YOU NOT? What kind of reaction did you think one would get? Seriously. Think about it.
You cannot expect, to walk into a single parents forum, and preach your rubbish about your stereotypical views, and expect to walk out without someone giving their opinion. Be prepared for an unfavorable opinion.
Again, dont date a single parent if you arent one. No one is saying NOT to, I would simply just ask that stereotypes about them remain out of it. Is that so seriously hard to comphrehend? LOL! | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:13:37 AM | Hey Johne,
PD wants guys to look at it this way -
You are a good guy if you look at single moms as - How sweet, a responsible woman with a lovely innocent child, they deserve a great guy and nothing but the best..
You are a bad guy if you look at single moms as - Lady with some other guy's kid, I'm out of here! | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:26:01 AM | I'm not sure if it's the "single" part of the "parent" part that is distasteful to many and I also wonder why we all seem to take these things personally? As I read it, the OP was stating an opinion. In the life I know, an opinion can never be wrong because it only belongs to the one person who owns it. Having a personal argument here only diminishes the messages of those who argue.
Each of us can -- and should -- chose to date as we see fit. Want to date single parents? Go for it. Want to date only [singles? That's okay, too. Want to be very vocal about your choice and reason? You have the freedom to do so. This is the Internet, after all!
To each his - or her - own!
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 12:43:50 PM | | I feel that AK's comment is right on target. People take opinions to personal. As a single dad raising 2 boys , I've asked myself " who would be interested in me". I was raised by a single mother and dated a single mother of 3, so I've seen that side of things. It's not for everyone. As anyone who has raised children on their own know's, there is not alot of "me time". My boys are just now 7 and 3. They go to their mother's every other weekend. That doesn't give someone looking to build a relationship alot of time. So it works for me that someone realizes upfront that they don't want to contend with that. It's also why I'm just looking for someone to do things with. I'm aware that I don't have the time or energy for a serious relationship. Honesty works for me. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 1:49:39 PM | | If you have had bad experiences OP just do not date single fathers. If some people do not like it too bad. I mean it is their situation not yours. You canhave have any preferance that you want. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:07:24 PM | Sea,
I do? Reeeeeeeally? Quote me that. Im still waiting for you to answer the other questions. I see you like to put words in others mouth to fit a weak arguement.
Again, I state, dont date them then. But, quit comming into a room and whine about the reasons why you wont.
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:44:53 PM | As a single father who has been somewhat apprehensive about dating for several reasons; I can tell you that no two situations are the same. I believe the experience you had with the man you speak of may be isolated, but that goes along with your approach to any relationship. For example, I am caring nurturing and genuine, which can often times be frustrating to a single father like me. I think most women see what they want and listen to stories like yours, and so guys like me go largely untouched.
I think it is only fair, as well as important, to keep an open mind when approaching any relationship. Learn to take your time in getting to know someone. That way you can avoid getting stuck, so to speak, in a situation you wanted to avoid. As humans, we are creatures of habit... try to form good habits for yourself. Think about it, a guy who can step up to the plate and take on such a responsibility can not be all bad, right?!  | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:49:24 PM | perhaps instead of us men being patient and understanding we should stop dating any woman that has kids.
but then again I would suppose he could of found a babysitter once in awhile. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:14:27 PM | | you know, I'm 52 years old and I raised my 2 daughters by myself since they were 3and 5 (they are now 20 and 22 and on their own) their mother never took them on weekends or anytime except a few hours on wednesday nights. I dated whenever I could find a babysitter but never got serious about anyone. now that the kids are gone I thought now I can enjoy life a little and find someone to enjoy life with and not worry about kids anymore. However, I am currently involved with a woman who has 2 kids,3 and 5. actually 3 kids, other one ,12, just left to go live with his father in NY. she is from Trinidad. At first, I wasn't sure if I would be interested in her because of kids, but now I am looking forward to having them here and being a family. which means, to me, being able to enjoy time with her and kids on weekends during the day and at night sometimes being able to find a babysitter and just the 2 of us going out and enjoying each other. Of course spend time with them during the week too. several times I have called her and kids have answered the phone because she was busy and I have had the oppurtunity to talk with them and really enjoy talking to her kids. I plan on going to Trinidad next month and seeing her and I have told her that if things work out than our door would always be open if her oldest son ever wanted to come live with us too. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:14:54 PM | Will somebody give AK Transplant a standing ovation!
PD states that it is okay for us to say that we won't date single parents, but how dare we state our opinions or reasons as to why. Do you think that people don't like certain things for no reason? I don't think so.
About me never dating any single dads PD, well us singles have never jumped into a lake of fire either, but that doesn't mean that we don't know what would happen if we did. I'm not going to tell my 21 year-old handsome, college educated nephew that it's okay to date a single mom. I'm going to tell him to find a girl who can devote herself to him in a one on one adult relationship in which they can build something real with each other and make decisions together. Or is that way of thinking null and void because he has never dated a single mother? It's hard enough trying to build a relationship with one person, to try including 2 or 3 more people would be mind boggling. I've dated a few single dad's and it sucked everytime. Do single parents suck? No. Do dating single parents suck? Yes. And there are certain facts, not stereotypes.
A single person started this thread and thank goodness that some of us single people showed up to give opinions from our point of view, instead of a bunch of single moms saying "oh just follow your heart".
Sorry but I'm not bitter, I'm the happiest I've ever been. And some single moms have been jealous of me. I can totally enjoy my freedom, children adore me, and when I feel like spending time with children, my family is always willing and happy to give me their kids for the day. | |
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| I am apprehensive about dating single fathers
Posted: 3/23/2008 5:24:31 PM | | OP dating a single parent can be full of hassles..hassles that are not there if you date someone without children. Yes there are some good single parents worth dating but you will have to go through a haystack to find that one needle. | |
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