| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:47:00 PM | BTW my answer would be yes I would still enjoy having sex with you, if fact I really wonder what guy would not, you are a gorgeous woman. But I would have to know that you are also enjoying it. If it is painful for you and you are doing it just to please me then I would not be able to do it, not because I don’t want you but because I would be hurting you.
I do also understand that not wanting to do it with you would probably hurt you more them having sex but looking at you while I am going at it and see you suffer is not an exciting scene. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:18:08 AM | Remember that the mind is still the most amazing sex organ you have. Just because your body won't always do what you want it to doesn't mean you can't have some amazing sex. Sounds like some days you might not be up for much, and other days you'll be able to do a lot. I imagine that when you and your partner know each other well (I'm assuming you're single but looking to get a partner -didn't check), wandering up to him and saying "honey, I'm having a good day," followed by a wink or licking your lips would generate an instant erection... er, reaction.
Following doctor's advice, always a good idea, finding an exercise you can tolerate and enjoy will probably help as well. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:03:32 AM | Remember that the mind is still the most amazing sex organ you have
Very true!!!
At this point in my life and being single for 3 years...I would be happy even in pain (bad day). Now my mind is working over time!!! | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:30:07 AM | | Mandrake, it's too bad my ex's didn't share your views...any time I was ill and couldn't perform, it was as if I was personally rejecting them instead of the activity. I suspect that, in part, was one reason they started looking elsewhere. I never expected them to perform when they were ill, but when it came to me, it was as if I'd commited a sacrilige or something. Because of that, and a couple other things, sex WAS more of an ordeal rather than a pleasure. I'm sure some of my posts in this and other forums seem odd, since it might come across as being frigid or a prude....it isn't that, you'd kinda have to know the whole shebang, but this attitude of, I want mine and to 'ell with yours, not caring if I was ill/still expected to perform, jumping me for a dry fk, lil to generally no foreplay.....then take issues from being raised like a puritan and going thru a really brutal rape...it's no wonder I never really enjoyed anyone up to now. I'm sure they did see me as a dead fk, and until my last husband left, I assumed all men were just as indifferent as the men in my life had been and that their women just lied to cover their embarrassment. Thank heaven I'm finding out that just isn't the case. I'm pretty sure if there is ever another man in my life, and he's caring and patient, things will NOT be repeating themselves in quite the same way. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:38:22 AM | I knew a guy once that said his g/f would start playing with the cat while he was messing with her.... Says a lot for his technique eh?
How in the world can someone just lay there while being caressed, kissed, licked, touched.....whew...is it hot in here or just my overactive imagination at work? | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:12:51 PM | rose, I'm hoping for much better partners in the future for you, what you say is just terrible to read. I do hope you have had counseling to get over the trauma associated with the rape. My gawd, that would turn any woman into someone who could not respond, let alone having really terrible lovers along with that-I hope all the women in this thread who are dealing with lousy lovers and/or painfull sex the best of luck. Please don't ever let yourselves be used by a man who has no respect for your mental and physical pain - they are not worth it.  | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:39:51 PM | As a guy who prides himself on being kind, and having just read your most recent description of the sexual dynamic (extreme swings between which lover is the giver), I'd have to say the following:
That sounds like an incredible experience...
The idea of pleasing an aching partner in her hardest moments, and being rewarded for it and given even more just out of love is just beautiful beyond belief.
You definitely deserve a patient guy, and a guy who is patient such that he'd appreciate receiving your rewards.
I hope you find such bliss, and I can assure you that I'm living (if prohibitively young, in this case) proof that it is possible to find such a relationship.
~ David | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:42:26 PM | | I had a guy say to me once, "Stop moving, it's better." Even at the moment I was sort of , like, "Better for whom?!" | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:35:38 PM | | Having gone out with a woman with Fibromyalgia I can say yes. Speaking for myself good sex has very little to do with gymnastics and postions but more the emotional/sexual/spiritual conection you have with your partner. When thats good...it's all good. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:46:24 PM | | I to SUFFER with the fibro too but a satisfying round of sex can bring great relief from the pain and stress i deal with daily dont become your illness overcome it or overcum it lol | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:58:47 PM | Cynderella,
I don't need a lot of sex, but I sure want quality sex. I find that sometimes, being bent like a pretzel is awkward...but I do like to switch things up cuz missionary is boring, doggie is fun, but hard on the knees....so you have to be creative. I personally like spooning and having him come in from behind. Utilize pillows on the bed...or furniture to help give you some stability ( and for comfort).
Sometimes, just that eye to eye contact during missionary is intense...plus you can kiss, caress each other, and grind together which is certainly not what I would equate to a dead lay. I think when there is no movement period and the other party doesn't seemed in tune with ya body than that is a dead lay. Boring isn't bad....so long as both people are satisfied.
I personally enjoy pleasing him....but it's also nice to have an evening where he simply pleases you. You simply have to talk it out....try different things..sex isn't merely a man inserting his penis into one's vagina...it's being close...naked...intimate ...and that is scary for some folks. Not all of us are designed to have marathon sex, but that doesn't mean we can't have ENJOYABLE sex. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 1:53:26 AM | | i like ****ing chix when they're sleeping sometimes because i always wake up in the middle of the night horny as hell. so yes i would consider that a dead **** because shes sleeping...unless she yawns and move her legs...lol | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 2:25:20 AM | ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE FIBROMYALGIA ARE NOT DEAD ****S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: I live an active life and do suffer with a great deal of pain but if did not tell you you would not know after 9 years of varying levels of pain 24/7 and a whole lot of other annoying as f!@# symptoms all to much to list off.
I have developed ways of coping with this ailment and sex really helps with the pain and stress relief | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:12:30 AM | I always thought the term meant someone who just isn't really there...as in into it. More like they are just laying there as a duty..you know, "okay then...just get it over with". Not very sexy and I couldn't understand how either person could enjoy that.
Just my impression | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:48:14 AM | Enjoyable experience? I dont see how if one partner is just laying there letting the other person do all the work. What fun is that? I mean you may as well f*ck your pillow or something. It would mean the same motionless pleasure. If someone doesnt move, put some effort into it or is quiet i say see ya later. I like to know they are into me by responding to my touches, by them being in sync with motions, expressing how they feel, showing me new and different things. Besides in reality no one wants a dead f*ck i mean they may as well go to a street corner and get a dead wh*re.  | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:39:10 AM | As we age, there are likely to be more and more positions that can cause pain for some people. Yet there are so many positions that don't require gymnastic ability and still allow for enjoyable sex.
OP, I think when you find the right man, he will be more than willing to work with your good AND bad days. Intimacy is so much more than the physical act itself.
HR | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 9:06:51 AM | cindy relley me doll if you show interest in any way you are not a dead ___ the words ...I WANT YOU ... have been known to get me off ... dont sweat it baby ..the right guy will help you make the best of your situation
I knew a guy once that said his g/f would start playing with the cat while he was messing with her.
here kity kitty kitty ,,meow meow meow meow !!! ...i got no problem with a gal playing with the kitty | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 9:51:16 AM | | The term dead fcuk has many names and faces but they all mean the same thing. Fish, boat anchor, etc. Same thing. It's a person that just lies there and doesn't participate and doesn't get involved and doesn't make any sound really. This person isn't willing to reciprocate orally or manually and is hesitant to roll into another position. Selfish. If you are a para- or quadriplegic then I can understand but I'd still hope to hear SOME emotion! If you have joint problems or muscle cramps and can't do certain things that's more than fine! I think a guy who loves doggy style would find a way to overlook the problem if a woman he liked could not sit in that position because of a hip problem. Just because you can't do certain things doesn't mean you can't do other things. All people ask for is participation and that you show up and be present! I can imagine there's nothing worse than sleeping with someone and they are looking around room bored and not into the sex. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 10:15:51 AM | | Personally, I do not care for a bunch of weird positions. I am happy to do whatever position gets my partner off best and for myself I am perfectly satisifed with missionary and doggy style, neither one of which require much movement from my partner. I have known women who were able to lay under me or sit on top of me and "milk" me with their vaginal muscles while moving no other part of their body, resulting in orgasms that nearly caused me to pass out. I guess how well this works is up to you. You are a pretty girl and people who say that does not matter are nuts. If your partner looks good naked, that alone is enough to cause many guys to blast off hard without any other help. I was in a relationship with a woman who was naturally tight and hot. She did not have to do anything because she felt so good that I always had to struggle to keep from blowing my cork from the moment I slid in. Sometimes I did not even bother to fight it, I just let 'er shoot and then we tenderly kissed and touched to build up for the second round. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 10:17:59 AM |
I think a guy who loves doggy style would find a way to overlook the problem if a woman he liked could not sit in that position because of a hip problem.
Bending me over the kitchen table works for me-its easier on the knees but may be a problem with someone with hip pain.
All people ask for is participation and that you show up and be present!
Well said Deuce98!
HR | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:10:03 AM |
What I really care about is the intimacy after the orgasm, not the buildup to it, or even the orgasm itself.
You sir need to go into sales and stop tutoring! | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:21:05 AM | | Sure it can be enjoyable. The intimacy and sharing. Kisses. I had a girlfriend who was not very active but she had a beautiful face and body and really enjoyed the intimacy. She had a loving personality and was willing to try to make things more sensual and erotic as she relaxed and grew comfortable. | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:23:19 AM | | Cynderella......I wouldn't perceive this to be a problem for any man that was understanding, loving and caring! | |
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| Dead F*ck? Excuse my french.
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:28:44 AM | | There is way more to love making than penetration!!! If you and your partner don't discover that - there are more problems beyond the medical condition you suffer from. Penetration is but a moment in time - love making is the other 23 hours and 55 minutes! | |
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