| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:02:23 PM | To the OP, that its much better to this this sort of thing in public rather then online, its pretty pointless. The only thing I give online dating credit for is the fourms such as these that they have. If it wasnt for these fourms iam pretty sure that I and much others wouldn't be here.. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:43:07 PM | 1) I haven't had a match since Superman died
2) Patience (Monty; patience)
3) To shut off my "Viewed a profile" thingy
4) That the odds are pretty good if I find someone of interest - it's not reciprocal
5) POF has an odd sense of geography - matches from the next state will show up - yet it skips over the lady 10 miles down the road in the next town.
6) I get more matches if I dial down the age group about a decade or so
7) Noone seems to be able to answer my query about "If opposites attract - why do sites insist on matching us up?"
8) I'm not getting any younger
9) Attraction seems to be directly proportional to distance
10) The forums aren't nearly as fun as they used to be | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:32:56 PM | As far as online dating goes I think that the one thing I have learned is the whole chatting on MSN or emailing back and forth is NOT the way to go at all.
It is okay initially for getting to know a couple of things about each other but after that it is most definitely time to meet in person.
We all know that it always comes down to that first "PHYSICAL" meeting between a man and a woman
You can believe that the person you are chatting with is such a funny, nice, charming etc. guy/woman when in reality they are the total opposite.
Lets face it, it is definitely alot easier to chat online with a stranger simply because you are sitting in the comfort of your own home and in between responses there is always the time to be thinking of the next thing you are going to say almost before they even ask it.
I just find it to be too deceiving and definitely to easy to misunderstand what someone has said and the context in which it was meant.
Really, how on earth would you know if they are being sarcastic, or that they just have a dry sense of humour.
Come on now, even Jack the Ripper could come off as a gentleman online . | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:44:25 PM | yellowsunflower
Much of what you say I do understand..as in meeting someone..but come on..my neighbor or yours could be jack the ripper for all we really know.. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:49:51 PM | how about...
all of the above.
and if you dont take it too seriously, its fun to have a gripe session about something you both hate
and if you dont take it too seriously, its still a hoot to meet people
and if you dont take it too seriously, its fun to be shot down by people based on next to no information
and if you dont take it too seriously,it nice to talk and learn about new things and then never talk to that person again.
and if you dont take it too seriously, its nice to get hate mail
and if you dont take it too seriously,it nice to spend hours just babbling about whatever
and if you dont take it too seriously, some people are fun to kiss
and if you dont take it too seriously,some people are fun to do more than kiss with.
and for the ones that take it too seriously..
you never get to have that fun that builds a great long term relationship.
legion | |
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jcolsa
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Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 107 | |
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:03:45 PM | If internet dating site were bands the would be less single people..
Some have had good experiene I am happy for you I mean that truthfully but you are the lucky few even if you you may be the best thing since sliced bread.
Folk I promise that this is the worst way to meet someone. JUST GOT OUT and heck walk up to them and just anything you will be more successful | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:46:33 PM |
I think it has to do more with the fact that men on singles sites far outnumber women. I did a local search of all men within 5 miles of my zip and the results maxed out. A search on women yeilded only 297. Childless, single women in their 20's and early 30's will get a ton of emails. Often so many they don't have time to answer them.
That's one of the big problems with Internet dating.... Far more men looking for women than women looking for men. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:54:00 PM | I've learned that we are all just a click away from the next best offer..... and that this is a very disposable way of dating....
Stick to the forums! :) | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:02:07 PM | I need someone to answer a question for me. When I get an e-mail from someone new I will read their profile, if something there leads me to believe that we would enjoy getting to know each other and share some interests then I will respond, but if not I used to respond with a simple "thank you, but I don't think we would be a very good match", someone called me a stuck-up **** so I stopped responding, just deleting. Is that the best way to handle it or should I go back to a simple response?
I wish there was some way to categorize the men! I am not at all drawn to sports enthusiasts (I run screaming if they wear a ballcap and "luv Nascar"!) outdoor types or anyone who drives a mini-van! I like men who are more intellectual, enjoy different types of music and will challenge my thinking. Men would probably have some interesting categories for women also! If we were able to click on our preferred category it might save alot of us from deleting or being deleted!
Internet dating is successful. I have learned to keep them talking for quite a while before I agree to meet them because usually you can gain alot of insight into character through simple conversations. I have met alot of good decent men, not all of them were a romantic match but it only takes one time so keep on believing! | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:17:35 PM |
Is that the best way to handle it or should I go back to a simple response?
I look at the profile before I even open the email.
Tell em' you're "hooked up with someone presently and want to see where it leads." | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/16/2008 9:28:20 PM | Learned how to talk to people who are bad at making conversation.
Learned to not pay attention to what people put as their weight (consequently learned that the word 'fat' isn't PC anymore).
Learned that POF forums are more addicting than irc/hotline chat was back in the day.
Learned various odd facts through browsing forums. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:36:27 AM | Great screen name BTW! Anyway, since I've started internet "dating" in August '07, I've had a total of four (4) dates and a couple of meets for coffee. I call these sites (and I've been on a few) SCREENING sites because there's not much actual DATING going on ---- but a whole lot of screening. I dated a woman in November (not from POF) who screened me and asked me all kinds of personal questions for weeks before she would even agree to meet me for a coffee! I have no criminal record, have a college degree, have never been arrested, don't smoke, son't do drugs, have never, ever been violent towards women or anyone for that matter, not seeing anyone (at the time), not married --- pretty much a boy-scout! So we finally agreed to meet at a cafe in her area (15 miles from me) and she stood me up. Then she calls me on my cell phone while i was all dejected and on my way back home and told me that she got the "willies" at the last moment and apologized like 7 times and then asked me for another meeting. So we meet the next day and the aforementioned cafe and she procedes to tell me about her life in crime---yes REAL CRIME. It's not worth it here to mention some of the things she got in trouble for but remember, she screened me! She also tells me flat-out that she smokes pot regularly, only has a part-time job and an 9 year old daughter and is need of a partner to help pay the rent on her apartment which is 2 months behind! Is this woman for real?! Some date! Who was the one who actually needed to be screened? She asked me if I had any pot. I said I don't smoke pot. She asked me if I take any perscription drugs like valium or oxy-something or other! I told her I have never even taken perscription drugs and rarely even use OTC drugs. She said she couldn't believe me! Really! She couldn't believe ME! And this is a woman in her late 40s! I just broke down right there and started to laugh. All this after she painstakingly SCREENED ME for 2 weeks. I told this woman everything about me and yet she never revealed a thing to me about her questionable drug habits, yet she knows a whole lot about me--- information she wanted to feel safer about me when we eventually met. Some women (and men, too) know how to abuse that trust thing! She had me think that she was the kind of girl I was looking for and then dropped the bomb on me only when we actually did meet. I feel like I was victim of identity theft. I ended the meeting right then and there. I think she even emailed me a few more times after this peculiar date---wanting to "get together" again. Believe it or not, I had another "dating" "incident" similar to this one!
If you're a man, you have to be prepared to jump through hoops somewhat to get many women to trust you. (Remember we're living in the post-Dahmer/Manson/Bundy era!) You should be as up front and honest from the get-go. Women will understandably need to feel safe before they agree to see you, but it's no guarantee that the woman who finally does trust you is going to be someone YOU trust. So far, in my limited experience in on-line "dating", this is what I've learned. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:55:18 AM | What have I learned from online dating?
Bad ways
A belligerent attitude
A warped sense of humor
That there must be something wrong with me
that being half a couple IS NOT necessary to my personal happiness and wellbeing.
That you don't have to be crazy to do online dating but it sure as hell helps.
That I've met some fascinating people and made some wonderful friends( not just online but real world interactions) that I'd never have met otherwise.I trace back some of my current social enjoyments to meeting guys from dating sites.
That finding a new SO in middle age is difficult. There are factors at work, and some that have stopped working( like the need to reproduce and develop a family unit)that are kind of unique to 45+ to oh say, 70+.
I've discovered a streak of pure cussedness I didn't know I had...
Cindy O | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:32:07 PM | Here are my experiences from online dating.........
Met a girl lived with her for six months. said she was divorced....turned out to still be married.
went out with one pretty thing who spent the whole time talking about her ex husband
Met another girl in Kansas, who I really liked. Moved her happy azz up here, in four backbreaking trailer loads and THE VERY next day, she suddenly just wants to be room mates........... I put her on the road.
On another meeting., I invited one girl here in town, and invited he to meet at the local waffle house. She brought her kids unannounced, (I like kids, but I think they should be left out of the first few meetings) Ordered steaks, and such, cost me almost $60 bucks......funny, never heard from her again!
dated one "single"???? girl and two weeks later had a very angry "husband" show up at the door! Had to get my pistol just to make him leave!
Met another girl who seemed to want what I did, then I found myself alone all the time. I ended it, whats the point? She told me "you didn't give me time to warm up" WTF? you either 'got it" or you dont!
Online dating....I love it!
Tom | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 2:33:29 PM | You wrote:
"1] My idea of "average " or a "a few extra lbs" and others ideas of "average and " a few extra lbs " is two very different things ."
How true is this! I am (genuinely) very slim, a heavy girl would snap me in two ;) LOL its refreshing to see someone post a comment as you have, few are brave enough to be onest. That said the 'average' Brit is getting more and more overweight (apparently) so.... maybe its an innocent mistake? | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:02:40 PM | the most important thing that i have learned it to look at the Body Type first, if it says thin then i know she is safe to pursue.
i have also learned that body types that say average, athletic, a few extra pounds and bbw are all to fat to fit my life style.
the end, lol
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:41:46 PM | | Online dating...What I've learned is that even though someone is "single" for all intents and purposes, that does not mean they are unattached. They may not have a committed girlfriend/boyfriend, but they might (just maybe!!) have someone hanging by a string. I have a friend who's been dating a guy, I guess we'll say, for a couple of weeks now. She met him on POF. She took her profile down, as she wasn't interested in meeting anyone else at the time, and she didn't want to lead anyone on. Next thing I know, I'm messaging a guy who has a story that sounds awfully familiar. I filled in the blanks, and realized it was the same guy she was dating. Mind you, he didn't ask me out, but he did ask for a picture, and described his perfect woman. You can't trust people online any more than you can trust someone you meet elsewhere. | |
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| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:39:48 PM | | My goodness...there is so much negativity here. I am not surprised but, still...yikes. I have been on and off of OLD sites for about a year and it has been fine. I look at like shopping at at TJMAxx or Marshalls...you have to sift through alot of off not so great stuff...then all the sudden a delightful find comes out of nowhere. I guess I can just spot em', but I have met some really nice guys online. I can generally weed out the weirdos through email. I typically will meet someone who can communicate effectively and seems cool for a coffee or a quick drink and can pretty much tell very quickly if there is potential. I have probably been out on 20 coffee/ quick drinks over the past year yielding 2 total freaks, 2 catches and 18 nice guys who just were not quite for me in one way or another. Anyone who uses OLD will need to develop a thick skin...you do have to accept the fact that some people you may want to talk to end up ignoring you or someone absolutely doesn't want to deal with kids when you have em'...big deal, life is too short to get upset about it. All it takes is staying positive and listening to you gut. | |
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| Thoughts on online dating ?
Posted: 1/18/2008 2:06:16 PM | I have to say that overall, I'm disappointed. 'A few extra lbs.' usuallly means they're beyond Jenny Craig, even! 'Average' means that they're built like a line backer for the Packers. If it doesn't say 'slim', it means ' BIG'!
My biggest beef, however is the number of women who indicate that they're sincerely
looking for specific things in a man, and don't bother responding to replies at all!
If you're going to post a profile, then I believe that you're almost duty bound to respond to polite, reasonably well written replys, which detail the basic requirements you've listed. Anything less, is just plain rude! If you've found someone, then pull your profile, if you don't want any more responses, that's not hard, is it?
I guess the biggest thing I've learned is the decline of old fashioned manners, and common sense!
That's scary!! | |
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