| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:14:14 PM | 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (NKJV) The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
you do not have the right to deprive your marriage partner of their conjugal rights. You do not have the right to deprive them of their rights within a physical relationship in marriage. It is not enough for us to say that sex is a marital privilege. It is that, but it is also a sacred responsibility, it is a debt that we owe.
When you are single, you do have authority over your own body, you decide how to use it. Keeping in mind it is God's temple. But once you are married, the right of authority is given over to the marriage partner. When you entered marriage, you forfeited your right to exercise authority over your own body. Thus, it is a sin to sexually reject your marriage partner.
And that's all I have to say about that | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:22:18 PM | | It was that way for me. There never was a good time. My partner didn't want to make a date they wanted it spontaneous and when I tried to be spontaneous it wasn't a good time. She told me that my timing was off. I finally got tired of asking I don't want someone who doesn't want me. It went on for years. Finally she says, we have no sex life anymore. I said anymore, I can't remember when we had that kind of relationship. So.. here I am 6 months later about to end this facade in divorce. Ladies tell us what you want. We don't guess good and if you don't tell us, we won't guess long. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:24:47 PM |
granted he used to threaten to bury me in our back garden and stab me in the face....just because id point out there was no love or affection of consideration or sex from his end!...
Yikes. OK, I'm out of my element here. The thread topic was about a man sexually neglecting his wife (scads of good posts about possible reasons and solutions), but segues into threats of being buried in the backyard and stabbed in the face. Not getting sex from a man who said that to me wouldn't be on the top of the list of my reasons for divorcing/leaving. I think there's much more to this story, and I, like all the other posters, have no idea what the "truth" is. Very unfortunate for the kids though, whether it's mom, dad or both who are nutty. Very unfortunate. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:26:40 PM | Okay Jewel of the Nile. I was having fun. I was too. :) If what you said about the death threats etc holds any merit I truly apologize. Truly.
Fun is fun but this changes everything. Were you involved with an older fella who was connected per chance? Possibly ran the nightclubs? More detail in the beginning sure would have been nice. So you were a young girl and got hooked up with an older fella with cash. Is this essentially correct?
Regardless. You're damn lucky to be out. Fun is fun but emotional and physical abuse is what pushes my buttons.
I thought you were going to bed by the way?
I thank you. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:29:33 PM | Jess... In your last post (joined with your first post re no sex or affection) you just described a person with NPD narcisstic personality disorder (or traits) textbook style, they have NO empathy and have to pretend to love and care,which they do to get what they want, very hard to spot this type unless you live with it, and boy do u know then something isnt right, but have no chance of figuring out what it is... Searching 'healing from' or 'victims of' narcisstic abuse
Will clarify and help anyone unsure x | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:30:25 PM | Hey CassaGo, I must have a few pages missing in my Bible ...... can I borrow yours??
I agree with you, that relationships demand committment to pleasing partners - you get back what you give, plus a little. Communication plays a huge part, and the knowledge of pleasure is necessary too. But, the number one item to success is ATTITUDE (some people will surely say - "Don't you mean a lack of 'attitude'?, and I'll say Yup, that too).
Gittin' back to the pleasure thing - yup, I agree. Something like a bank account, you can't get more out than what you put in. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:36:50 PM | NewHorizon1972, please for the sake of your children and the US population, seek therapy.
Honestly! I have never heard someone seek to be seen as such an obtuse fool.
And if we want to take a religious stance here. Remember Mary was a married virgin, who still gave birth. From sin, according to your argument (i.e., little joey not having sex with mary) came Jesus...
Booooooooooooooyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Take that, and please do not speak to your children like this. The world is ignorant enough. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:47:47 PM | Great another bible thumper ( newhorizan1972) which reads the bible literally ( and selectively at the same time) promoting fundamentalist beliefs , focusing their doctrine on rapture , fire and brimstone, I am always amazed that some people always use the old Testament to justify arcane beliefs
Tell you what can you help me out on this one I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves, you see im also a quarterback coach for a local high school and I have to touch the pigskin (the football) but I don't wear gloves, should my coach beat me because it? | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 7:53:37 PM | Cassago is right.. it is Biblically wrong.. Read I Corinthians Chapter 7 Instructions on Christian Marriage. Verses 4 & 5 the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way the husband's body doesn't belong to him alone but also to his wife. NIV Version Application Study Bible. Can't get anymore direct than that.
Pretty simple. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:05:37 PM |
Typically there's a reason why...and typically it begins with a lack of communication. What has transpired in your life to cause that to happen?
...and then there's *atypical* reasons too. There is a hint that you're making her partly at fault.
The horrible thing for a woman denied, is that they do tend to blame themselves...for a long, long time before they wake up and see the truth.
A couple of reasons that are atypical are that he could be on the "downlow" or he could be emotionally disordered. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:20:22 PM |
(ps...it's NOT about control, dear, not with 20 year between your case and hers..quite the opposite..low libido is mostly due to low self esteem, most of the time)
Why do you assume that it's about "low libido"? Heck. I'll spill the beans...
I was with someone who morphed from being the most incredible lover (for 2 yrs) to wanting to be my platonic snuggle bunny. At one time, I could turn him on in a pair of overalls, but then not even a black corset would charge his battery. I tried everything! I was so crushed; I took it to be my failing.
For three more years, desparately trying to engage him again. Everything else seemed to be wonderful between us.
Lack of libido? No. He was screwing around. Apparently he followed this same pattern in all his previous relationships. IMO he needs the thrill of newness - emotionally immature.
I couldn't have tried harder. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:37:00 PM | Thank you kindly sexy intelligent. To each our own. That was not my interpretation but one that I "borrowed" to reiterate what was said earlier. It appears to me that I am not the one with an obtuse viewpoint as you apparently have a closed mind not to consider other's viewpoints. It appears that you have negativity towards any view in the scenario. Now I'm sure it would be different IF
The woman was not satisfying the man. Then I'm sure you would use my post as evidence on your part as to why your woman SHOULD be.
heehee
Rock On SI
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aetius
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 121 | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:27:15 PM | Answering the question above me here....Is it wrong, etc etc. (DID NOT READ THE THREAD)
A husband should expect committment until he's divorced.
I don't believe "faith" has anything to do with sex OR committment.
A husband is wrong to sexually neglect the wife - but if he is, you can be sure he's gettin it somewhere....so I strongly suggest you do two things:
(1) Hire a private investigator and find out.
(2) Get yourselves to counseling if you care at ALL about your marriage. No sex means SOMEONE IS PISSED. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:47:55 PM | I agree with dawn1114 message 113, it is a bummer for the kids no matter what.
This thread is definitely off topic and that's from just reading the OP's posts.
It sure is a Venting avenue for her so that might help things out some.
Funny how too many here are giving advice as if they are still married. Maybe I read it wrong or most likely got mixed up from the OP's postings as she does seem to keep changing things.
OP if you are not married anymore than that is for the good. Not sure about your statements about him threatening you by stabbing you in the face and burying you in the back garden is true, embellished, or made up. Most likely true to an extent but embellished too as a means to explain your situation. Your original quests in this forum thread are very different than what you are putting out there now.
Not sure how to take this thread, or if I should even care anymore.
I know married couples and they can sometimes say some of the raunchiest and scary things to and about each other but then totally forget about it as if nothing was going on. Venting. Good thing there are people out there studying this so those that need it can get help, no matter what type of country they are in.
OP I hope you get the help that you need so that you can enjoy life again. Not All men are as bad as your anger is focused on, only a few just as there are only a few bad females too. We are all human and have many things in common. You getting help would not only be a good thing for you but mostly for your children, short and long term.
I hope you had a pleasent sleep OP and that today, when you read this, things are looking better for you. You are not alone. Just keep being more open about things here and you'll get less judgemental posts. We just go off of what you type in. You can click on History under your picture on any of your posts and it will show a string of all your posts. Maybe rereading them will give you a better idea of why most, if not all, of us posters on here are befuddled by your original post quests and how it has turned out so far.
Thanks for sharing OP. I do mean that. | |
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| Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith??
Posted: 1/14/2008 10:10:38 PM | | Lol...sorry ya joined the club hon....happened to me, but not really a great loss (if ya know what I mean). Thing is, he denied me access because he'd already closed the chapter called marriage in his mind and was lookin elsewhere, while pretending fidelity. Yep, alot of frustrating, lonely years....and they still are, even though he's been gone for a few of 'em. | |
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