| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:33:15 PM | Me personally, no. I would probably remain friends but would stop the whole dating thing...
After I heard my dad tell someone this about his first kid "We went to the hospital as two, and returned as three ... wow what a feeling ... just Wow", I knew I wanted to have that feeling too.
Plus when you die, you leave no part of you behind. Unless you did something that the whole world knows about and remembers you otherwise it was like you were never here ... I want children (yes multiple). I want them to grow up and have a part of me and my future wife with them to carry down further generations.
Oh and the fact that I love kids ... they are soo much fun to be around! | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:26:36 PM | Yes, we could date. But that's as far as it goes. I would not get serious with her. I don't have kids and I want them, but thats not the reason. If I meet a woman who has kids and doesn't want or can't have anymore kids, thats fine. That's not a deal breaker for me. I could still allow myself to fall in love with that woman.
But, a woman who doesn't want kids at all, seems selfish to me. Almost lacking in something fundamental in her capacity to share her life. I feel the same way about men who don't want kids. I have several friends who don't want kids and they are very selfish people. Good guys, but selfish non the less. Maternity instincts are so basic and automatic to most women (at least the ones I've known).
If a woman isn't willing to love something that is, essentially, a part of her, how could I expect her to love me in any deep and true capacity? How could I honestly think she is capable of anything past a superficial attachment?
It's just my opinion. And, to each his own. There is no right answer to this one. When it's all said and done, it's a very personal choice.
Lateef | |
|
| |
| |
NYinNM
|
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 80 | |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:02:17 PM | Since I already have three adult children, a woman like that would be ideal for me. But I'm not against a woman who has children but I don't want to have more with my next spouse.
I don't want to end up in that other thread about middle aged men with young kids. LOL | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:02:08 AM | | Id date a women, who couldnt have kids for medical health reasons/ but no way would I date a women with kids who didnt want one more!, or who wouldnt even think of having another sometime in the not to distant future! | |
|
| |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:14:41 PM |
Heres something I've been wondering. Hypothetically.. If you meet this chick and you get along great. You've been on dates and consider a possible relationship with this woman. Then you finally talk about values each of you have. Lets say it turns out the chick had a surgery to prevent herself from becoming a mother and wants no part of children at all in life. Would it effect how you feel about her? Would you leave her and find someone to have a family with? Or accept that you won't have children with her ever and stay anyway?
I haven't read all the responses to this, so my comments may repeat someone.
I believe it takes a very strong, self asured woman to look at her life and admit that she would not be a good mother or quite simply does not want to BE a mother. With all the women on the planet having babies... many of them should NEVER have children... the world's population is not going to hurt much by a few women deciding they would rather never have children. | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/10/2008 4:43:10 PM | | Not only would I date this woman, I would set aside an hour every week to worship her devoutly. A woman without children, and who doesn't want any, is divine. | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:46:18 PM | Yeah, sure, I'd date her or be in a LTR with her if she didn't want kids.
Edit: Oh crap, nevermind, I already have them and I doubt I can put them back now. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:42:44 PM |
But, a woman who doesn't want kids at all, seems selfish to me. Almost lacking in something fundamental in her capacity to share her life. I feel the same way about men who don't want kids. I have several friends who don't want kids and they are very selfish people. Good guys, but selfish non the less. Maternity instincts are so basic and automatic to most women (at least the ones I've known).
Oh that is so hilarious! So people who have kids even though they are terrible parents and can't afford anything for their kids are less selfish that people who think through their decisions carefully? I'm lacking in some kind of fundamentals because I'd prefer to adopt? I'm sure that the 43 kids at the orphanage I support don't feel that. Or the dozens of dogs I've rescued in my lifetime.
Selfish is a strong word when you're talking about people who choose what is the best decision for the child. Having a child is not always what is best for a child. Selfish is having kids and not raising them well. Selfish is having kids to serve your own needs for wanting to leave something behind, have something to do, follow what other people expect you to do, have someone to take care of you when you are old, etc.
How many people really plan for a child and think 100% about only the needs of the child and not themselves? If people did then every child would have a loving home, no abuse, no broken homes, no single parents where the other has f*cked off somewhere, enough money to pursue a good education and future, etc. There are more bad parents than there are good parents, and more people who maybe aren't bad but definitely should not be parents. Selfish? I've never met someone who doesn't want kids who hasn't thought it through and is FAR LESS SELFISH than most people who have kids.
It's views like this that keep bad parents going, perpetuating the cycle of more bad parents and dysfunctional children. Not everyone should have children. Actually out of the people I've seen, very few people should have children. Not everyone is a good parent and not everyone is meant to reproduce biologically. Maternal instincts are not basic to everyone. A lot of them come from society's pressures. You are 'supposed' to get married and 'supposed' to have kids. | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:34:10 PM | I had this argument with my ex who vacillated back and forth about having a child.
In the end it can be selfish on both ends. Those how don't want children are looked at
as hedonists while those who do want children can be looked at equally as selfish because
they often want a child to fulfill some part of their dream at times with little regard to
what the child (who never asked to be born) wants.
I say let the people who don't want children to do what they feel is right and the people
who do want children the same benefit.
O | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:07:17 PM | ^^^
I agree on this. You must choose a partner who wants the same thing. It's one of the first questions I ask because if you MUST have a child, then you will never be happy with someone who doesn't want one; and vice versa. | |
|
| |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:27:08 PM | I'd want to marry the woman.
I want to lead an epic life, filled with adventure, travel, and fun.
Children are wonderful, and I really love them, but once you have them, adventure, travel, and fun go directly out the window. I've got a big family, the bloodline isn't going to die out any time soon. I'm happy to forego having kids.
I'll just become an awesome uncle if I get that urge. Then I get to spoil kids that look like me AND sleep in on weekends. Dig?
Besides, the fact of the matter is, the next generations are in for a very difficult life. With petroleum running out and China and India beginning to tax the world's mining and energy infrastructure, my kids would be suffering unimaginably. The benefits we've taken for granted, everything from fresh clean water from our taps to fresh fruit in our supermarkets, will begin to first become much more expensive without our lifetime, then after we're gone, they may dry up entirely.
Why exactly would I want to create a child who will have to strive in a world that will see the end of our way of life? | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:30:55 PM | | Nope, looking for long term and to have at least two of my own some day so wanting to have kids is a deal maker or breaker. It is one of the first things I find out to avoid wasting both our time. | |
|
| |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:32:05 AM | Of course.
Here me, I truly do love children, and don't mean to demean anything, or attack anyone.
I would much rather not bring another child into this world that is shorting of food, over-populated, and has %80 percent of all wealth in the pockets of a mere %20. Most of us are probably that %20.
If I ever did have that desire, I would adopt. Save a beautiful young boy or girl that has no where else. Nothing else. People have got to wake up....
Could you imagine how many children could be saved if there was a massive turn to adoption? Millions upon millions of children, that are in poverty, going to starve, get raped, or even slaughtered, this year.....
We are blind!
I bet if there was a couple years of mass adoption and birth control on a world level, the entire world could change. If the half that really wanted to raise children all adopted, and the other half that wasn't bent on it, or didn't mean to, had this time to help the world with some it's other problems, man, I can't even imagine the "evolution" that would occur within the whole of humanity, nature, the system etc. (really we are just a part of the rest, but we think we are so special, I don't know why I have to say "humanity" as a separate
part of the whole)
Nothing is "here for us."
We are "here for life", but we are caught in a dream.
Mindfulness. We are so caught up in ourselves, and lack of awareness/mindfulness, has "egoic mind" running our life, and we think that life is "ours," and perceive what we think is "our life," as being separate from another's. Identified with the in-voluntary appearance of thought, emotion, and belief, life would appear to be about "me," what I want, or what I can do. The "I" is an illusion. There is no "I." We are not separate from life... We are no better then the air, the sky, the oceans, the soils, the plants, the other beings, or any life forms. No more important. With awareness one begins to get a sense of this. Life can get a sense of itself.
"I, me, my." "Mine."
But we still want to create our own, with our identity, our blood, so our family continues on, and this makes us feel good.
We have got to wake up!
Respect! | |
|
| |
| |
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:49:35 PM | | ya it would actually I want kids someday and if she doesn't want them then I'll find someone that does I love kids and have ALWAYS wanted to raise a son of my own | |
|
| Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:53:25 PM | | If you're really willing to share the rest of your life with someone, kids shouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker imo. But it comes down to the individual. | |
|
Home
login 
i might have to re-consider my policy on not marrying, lol
