| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/3/2008 8:20:32 PM | How do you know someone is a smart ass?
They can sit on an ice-cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.
Wah, wah, wahhhhhhh.
Thank you, ladies and germs, I'll be here all night. Try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress! | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:55:53 PM | What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back???
A stick! 
Two lesbian frogs sitting on a log. One turns to the other and says, "You know, you really do taste like chicken!"  (finally the jumper is appropriate!) | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:14:37 PM | Pretty sure that no one will find this funny.
Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!" | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/9/2008 12:11:38 PM | A man is sitting next to a woman on a plane. Turns out she's a drop-dead-gorgeous blonde! When they reached 27,000 ft. the plane leveled out and woman sneezed.
This would have been perfectly normal but for the fact that after she sneezed she shuddered violently. About five minutes later she sneezed and once again shuddered violently. Five minutes later she sneezed and shuddered yet again.
Finally the man had, had all he could take and his curiosity got the better of him.
"Are you O.K." He asked
"Yes," said the woman "I'm fine, why?"
"It's just that three times you've sneezed and three times you've shuddered violently almost immediatly afterwards."
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the woman "It's just that I've got this rare condition, every time I sneeze I orgasm"
"Oh really," said the man and being a keen follower of medical science asked "What are you taking for it."
"Pepper," answered the woman. | |
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Mugen3
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Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 57 | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/9/2008 4:54:48 PM | | Hilary Clinton is on a game show, it's one of those shows where they show a word or phrase to the audience and the contestant gets a certain number of questions to guess the word or phrase. The men in the control room were staunch republicans and when, on live TV it come time for Hilary's turn the phrase "Donkey peins" flashes up on the screen. The announcer doesn't know what to do so he just goes with it. Hilary asks her first question and asks, "Can you eat it? The announcer thinks about her question for a second and replies, "Yes I guess you can". And Hilary says, "Is it Donkey Penis"? | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 3/9/2008 5:01:06 PM | There were three jokes I was going to post, so I am glad I read them all first! LOL! I have 2:
1. What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A damn good start!  (I kill me!)
2. What's brown, black and blue and laying a ditch?
A brunette that told too many blonde jokes! ROTFLMAO! I am brunette FYI! Still think it's funny!  | |
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h3kt0r
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Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 63 | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:00:26 AM | Thank you, ladies and germs, I'll be here all night. Try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress! -- don't tip her to far she's trying to carry a drink tray!! FYI ..
what black and white and red and hangs on a doorknob ?
a nun in heat ! | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:17:44 AM | I couldn't figure out why the frisbee looked like it was getting bigger-and then it hit me.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor (lame, really lame, I know, and yet, it cracks me up  )
And I LOVE the one about the blondes walking into the bar. | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:18:56 PM | What do you call a guy with no arms and legs on the floor...?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs nailed to the wall...?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs swimming in the ocean...?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs living in a bog...?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs under a car...?
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs with a pole shoved up his ass...?
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs sitting in a basket...?
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on a hot grill...?
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on fire...? (think Australian)
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs stuffed in a vase (several answers)...?
All these for a toaster oven. | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:09:37 PM | | quasimodo /s getting married his girlfriend says to him i dont want that hump of yours to be seen in the wedding photos you have a word with the photographer and tell him so quasi tells him no problem the photograher says he takes the photos on the day he says to quasi il phone you when the photos are ready 3 days later the photographer calls he says to quasi i got some good news n bad news gyve me the good news all the photos came out great your hump cant be seen in any of the pictures you look normal whats the bad news he says I CANT SHUT THE F KIN ALBUM | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:53:46 AM | Once upon a time, two little boys, James and David, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, James eventually asked David, "Hey, what're you in for?"
"I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little worried," said David.
"Oh, don't worry about it," James said. "I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!"
"Oh yeah?'' replied David. "That's not half-bad. So, James, how about you? What're you here for?"
"I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," James answered.
"Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!" | |
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