| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:28:46 PM | Here's a joke with two parts:
A Budhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand, and says "Make me one with eveything".
The hod dog vender goes about making the hot dog and hands it to the monk and says "that will be $3.50".
The monk hands the vender a 5 dollar bill, and the vender goes about serving the next customer, the monk protests "Hey where's my change?"
The vender turns to him and says "Change must come from within".
Not everyone gets this joke, but it's one of my all time favorites. | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:59:52 AM | A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice inside the man's stomach says, "No you haven't."
Gets me every time, but when I tell it, I don't usually get a reaction...some people just don't have a sense of humour I guess  | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:23:11 PM | I have a few...
1. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come anyways.
2. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese
3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the gopher it could be done.
4. How did the punk rocker with a ton of piercings cross the road? Stapled himself to the chicken. | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:02:12 PM | you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions?
What do you get when you squeeze an olive? Oliver Twist!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? "Thanks, I'll never part with it!"
What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polly Unsaturated
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he
made a Boo-Boo.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call two men with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Curt and Rod
What goes 99-thump, 99-thump? A centipede with a wooden leg.
Why was the man arrested for waiting in the Big Top? He was loitering within tent.
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:12:09 AM |
Pretty sure that no one will find this funny.
Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!"
I don't know which is worse... that I even understood this joke, or that I laughed too  | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:50:59 AM | Why does the pope cross himself?
To get to the other side.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50, deer nuts are under a buck.
What did the Indian say when his dog jumped into the Grand Canyon?
"Dog gone!"
What has four legs and flies?
Two pair of pants.
Why did the Indian sleep in front of the hotel?
He didn't have a reservation. | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:31:31 AM | Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Al asked.
"I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Al asked again.
"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."
"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews." | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:27:08 PM | A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
"It's Adam's suit!!!!!" | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:59:26 PM | What do you call a brunette between two blonds...
An interpreter...
This one makes me laugh all the time...
A scientist is making an experiment in front of the class.
He has a frog in front of him on his demonstration table.
He bangs the table and yells "Jump!"
The front leaps 4 feet.
The scientist then cuts off on leg off of the frog.
Puts it on the table. He bangs the table and yells "Jump!"
The frog leaps 3 feet.
The scientist then cuts off a second leg.
Puts it on the table. He bangs the table and yells "Jump!"
The frong leaps 2 feet.
The sientist then cuts off a third leg.
Puts it on the table. He bangs the table and yells "Jump!"
The frong leaps 1 foot.
The scientist then cuts off the fourth leg.
Puts it on the table. He bangs the table and yells "Jump!"
The frog does not move...
The scientist then addresses the class. "As you can see, as soon as the four legs are cut off, the frog goes deaf."  | |
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| Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:02:01 PM |
Pretty sure that no one will find this funny.
Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!"
Love it!!! When I started reading it... The first thing came to mind was, the equation is missing a constant... LOVE IT!!!  | |
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