| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:29:19 PM | | Not only women who are having babies later in life. Obviously they have a partner. I met a gentleman in here, 51 and still hoping to have a child. Sometimes our dreams take a little longer to happen. Myself, had my children between 27 and 31. Perfect timing for me. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:15:17 PM | Well I do appreciate the mature response. I am now convinced that women are truly trying to have babies at the ages suggested! I congratulate all whom are going for it as I can relate to the possible implications!
Thanks for every post, and wish anyone pregnant all the best. It is definitely daunting to have a child this late in the years. I do admire the courage for all that are in this situation. I do wish you all well and a healthy child!
J | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:01:49 PM | You are kidding, right? Seriously? What's "difficult" about a 35 year old, over even a 40 or over 40 year old having a baby. Maybe learn something about BIOLOGY. Not every woman gets knocked up at 18, honey.
Yeah, raising in children is hard, but since it seems it's STILL women doing the lion's share of the work, WHY are you so worried?
Maybe it's none of your business. Also, it's "argument", not "arguement"...... | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:03:48 PM | | Yeah, women tank after 25, right? Oh, the struggle, the valour of women STILL IN THEIR CHILDBEARING YEARS ACTUALLY WANTING TO HAVE A BABY. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:05:54 PM | Why? Women who have babies over 40 are 4 times more likely to live to be 100.....and they have to be healthy.
I fear more for the babies of teens and people in their twenties who don't look after their health more so than a healthy "older" parent. Gee whiz. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:08:54 PM | | Easy to be so flip and callous when it's not about you, huh? What's wrong with being 65 and at some high school graduation. If that is your greatest worry, maybe it's high time to take a look at why you even had your own child. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/14/2009 5:51:24 PM | | I believe its a personal choice thing . I myself made a choice many years ago that I was not having any more babies . I will not have any more babies ..... of my own that is . Sometimes life throws curveballs though . Who knew that in my early 40's I would now find myself caring for my first grandchild . I have a livingroom strewn with baby paraphanalia & toys . I am now a pro at making home made baby food . I do admit is is harder at this age due to the beginings of arthritis , but I will not have it any other way ! When faced with the choice of seeing the baby go to fostercare or stay with me I knew what needed to be done . | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/17/2009 3:33:38 PM | I am not close to 40 yet, but I started young, younger than I definately wanted, but I made a choice and with choices come consequences. Mind you I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I am doing things backwards.
I had my children, now I am in school full time so that I can get a good job and buy my first home, hopefully by the time I am 30. But then again whose to say that after I get my schooling, pay off my student loans, buy my house and after my kids start moving out, I won't decide that I want another one. When my oldest is 18, I'll only be 35, when my youngest is 18 I'll only be 43. Still in child bearing years.
I still have all my parts and although I don't want to have anymore children for at least five years so I can finish school and pay off loans and buy my house, that doesn't mean that I won't want more when I finally meet Mr. Right or Mr. Almost right, and have achieved the goals that I have set in place for myself.
Then again I might decide to go back to school and get another career instead of having another baby, but I have not closed myself off to the idea of more children. By the time I get to having them, should I want them, I will probably be in my late 30's early 40's. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:59:16 AM | | When my baby was a baby.......I worried that I wouldn't be around when she graduated from high school !! She was born in January and I turned 40 in May !! Look at us now !! I have no regrets, she has kept me young and current. Teen years have definitely been a challenge !! | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:46:56 PM | | i have on my profile that i'm open/undecided about having children, but it's because i'm open to being in a relationship with a man who already has children, i don't wish to have any more of my own | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:51:32 PM | | toohonest, i understand the impulse to always want to give an opinion, but ignorance and CAPSLOC does not implore your objectives any more sufficiently than if you were to type calmly, just as speaking calmly is more effective than the latter...furthermore, i strongly beleive in free speech, but i also strongly disagree with your statements...toohonest does not = toobright...'kay thanks! | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:25:27 PM | Posted By: too_honest on 3/25/2009 7  35 PM Message: IT'S SELFISH ! HOPEFULLY WITH ANY LUCK YOU WILL MAKE IT TO 65, YOUR CHILD IS NOW 24, AND IF YOU HAVE BREED INTO HIM / HER THAT THEY SHOULD WAIT TILL THEY ARE AT THE EARLIEST 30 TO HAVE KIDS, YOU ARE NOW71 MAYBE, YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR GRAND CHILDREN, THEREFOR NEVER APPRECIATING THEM AND / OR SEEING THE GLOW AND THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR CHILD WILL HAVE / EXPERINCE
Gee, I didn't realize that the main reason to have kids was so that you could eventually have grandkids to appreciate. You almost make it sound like having your own kids (at whatever age) is just a necessary evil in order to obtain those "necessary" grandchildren later on. 
People should have kids when and if the time is right for them and for the reasons that are right for them. If that means waiting until 40, 50 or even 60 if you have the energy and fertility, then so be it. People tend to much live longer these days than people did even 50 years ago, so having a child late in life is not necessarily condemning that child to becoming an orphan early on. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/26/2009 8:31:15 AM | TO: TOO HONEST......obviously you did not read my post !! I am now 57, (widow)my daughter is 18........her guy friends think that I am a "yummie mommie"..LOL. Several of her friends hang out at our house, because my door is always open. She is in her 1st yr of college...all of her marks in the 80s, she holds down a job as well. She does not take drugs, she has 4 older siblings who love her to death....and provide her with direction !!
I did all of my travelling while you were having babies, lived in Ireland for 5yrs and travelled all over Europe.....just came back from Vegas !!!
Where does selfish come into this ????????
For any of you gals contemplating a child at 40...............this post is for you | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/27/2009 1:01:01 AM | I am going to be thirty years old in a little over a month, and to me, there is nothing wrong with the fact that I don't have children. In fact, I believe that I am being responsible by waiting until I have my life fully in order. It is really hard to raise kids, never mind raising kids when you are under educated, and under financed for the venture! Why would I voluntarily put myself in a position to raise kids, and have struggles like finances, and getting an education at the same time? That makes no sense to me!
I don't talk about getting married, because I don't think that's a prerequisite for having children. I will have a baby when I want to, regardless of whether or not I am married.
I know many women who have waited until they were older, and they aren't selfish people! Personally, I can't forsee myself bearing a child until I am at least thirty six. It has nothing do do with being selfish, but more about doing things so that I can provide the BEST LIFE POSSIBLE for any child that I bring into the world. To me, the best life possible for a child is one where the mother has her life in order. I would say that is the OPPOSITE of being selfish.
Why should a woman be judged for this? | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/27/2009 3:54:13 AM | I can't believe someone can say you are selfish for having a child at a later age in life. With age comes more wisdom, most of us are way more patient and understanding as we grow up, helping us further better our parent skills.
It's never a bad time to do something that feels right. You also talk about someome who is 55, like they are dead already and are not as capable as a 30 year to know about style or music or to have the ability for their children to be proud of them. Just because you see yourself be so socially crippled by that age, you should not pass judement on others.
I seen myself and all my friends mature a great deal from 20 to 35 and I am a dad and I had mine at fairly young age and believe I did a good job, but I definately believe at this age I could do even better of a job as a parent.
But, thinking you are set in ways, just by your last post, how you ask questions, then answer them yourself. lol. Good luck to you, may you and your bubble role down the write path. lol..
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:16:38 AM | To: TOO HONEST....I love it !! are you getting your point accross????....I DON"T THINK SO. HOWEVER, what you are doing, is allowing perspective PARTNERS a birds eye view into a "feeble" mind.........good luck, I think that you are going to need it !!! | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/27/2009 8:40:35 PM | Wow, lots of attitude on this thread. Really, women wanting a baby later in life is their own personal choice, but the tirades....my, my. Personally the prospect of having a baby at that point in my life was not something I would have considered......made sure it wouldn't happen. If I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet I will bring my grandchildren over. And I love it when they get up in the morning and come into bed with me. But what I love even more is being able to give them back to their mother and father.
There are more risks to both the mother and the child having a baby around 40, but with the medical advances, they are better able to be managed. But to be honest, I am glad I had my children in my 20's, so I can better enjoys myself at this stage of my life.
Again though, its the double standard. No one seems to find anything wrong with a man wanting to father a child when he is in his 40's - it means he's still virile, he's still got it. But for a woman to want to have a baby in and around 40, everyone thinks they are nuts. Give me a break. More and more women are goal oriented in their younger years, working on their careers, so they decide to have children later. I see no problem with that. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:31:30 AM | I think its fine if a women wants to have a baby in her 40s , if thats what she wants its what she wants . No judgements.
But for me personally I think id like to be a younger mom , just like my own who was 24 when she had me . Now im 21 in may and shes 45 still as beautiful and full of life as ever . I love the close relationship we got to have and all the cool things we can do together now.
Anyway shes my best friend and id like to have that with my own children .. so between 25-27 seems like a good age range for me . | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 4/19/2009 8:37:12 PM | you know woman in the past, our parents age had 12 kids in their time, that is unheard of now, just like having kids at 40 is a shock to some because 12 year olds are having kids now. nothing has changed, our diets suck so getting pregnant at 40 now is risky, but if we ate better this would not be a problem, like it was not a prob for our ancestors. i have not had children yet, i am 45, why am i going to let societies biases predict my life?
i might adopt or give birth, what ever i choose. i think diet as apposed to age affects babies and their health in the womb. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:45:39 AM | Ya know !! "our diets suck" ?????, rather a general, presumptuous statement. I am sure that I am not alone by stating that I have maintained healthy eating habits since my late 20s, habits which have been passed along to my children !! | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 5/5/2009 10:38:02 AM | My heart goes out to those who are wanting children "late in life" and would make wonderful parents...but get this negative support. :O(
I was a teen momma...had four, four and under...at 21 years of age! Mind you, I had twins...but still. NO REGRETS at all...and being 42 with four awesome adult children (who are nowhere near the stigmas of children raised by a single young mother!) and one delightful grandson...is awesome! I have the energy for it...and there is not such a huge generation gap between my children and I that we cannot be friends, but still have that parent/child line.
But...my kids also grew up in very tough times. (both an advantage and disadvantage, actually) I was too young to make my marriage work...hell...had no concept of what marriage WAS. All in all, I think ALL AGES of parenthood has advantages and disadvantages...and it is an individual choice. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 5/8/2009 12:07:24 PM | To each their own. My kids are grown and I would not be interested "in doing it all over again". Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
I think what OP was saying is that for those of us that have been there, done that, why would you want to again when you are just regaining your freedom after a twenty some odd year commitment?
I don't think the post was a general condemnation for those who decide differently, whether it be to have more later in life or to start later in life.
In my case if I was single I would not entertain the idea of having a child, nor would I be involved with someone with young children. I am beyond that stage in my life. Others are not and that's o.k. for them but not to a large group of us who are moving into a new stage of life which does not involve raising children. | |
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| Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:54:46 AM | | One of my sisters became a first time mom at 41. Seven years later, she considers motherhood the best thing ever and she's glad she waited. Works for some.... | |
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