| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:17:09 AM | | This guy and me tried to be FWB but it didn't work due to communication issues and other things going on. We ended the relationship but remained friendly to one another. We'd see each other at the bar occasionally, the "spark" was still there and we'd flirt but nothing would happen since we were usually out with other people. I hadn't seen him in months and was out with friends for my birthday. He was there alone...of course we got together that night and the fireworks went off. He was my birthday present last year too. We don't have each others numbers so don't communicate. But we each know that if the opportunity arises that we'll get together again. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:19:09 AM |
I've never had a "no strings" agreement. I don't take sex that lightly. It's a serious thing for me. I'm either in it all the way or I'm not in it at all.
I couldn't have said it better.  | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:20:33 AM | The guy I am seeing wants a non-commital, no strings, no obligation relationship. He says he is too old (60) for anything else. I have told him that is the age that you do want one as we are getting old and should want someone to sail into our twilight years,,,he feels that he wants to play the field,,,and whatever,,,,
And evidently nobody has a clue to this, but what is an Activity Partner. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:05:37 AM | Wow what a bunch of drama and stress you bring on yourselves.
So dating implies you have to have sex with everybody you date now does it? Or does no strings mean if I go on a date and ain't feeling the spark I will say bye bye and move on? That sounds like no strings to me.
If somebody ain't good enough to be in a relationship with, why bother treating each other like sex toys? Can you not go buy some sex toys then and masturbate with yourself then? Or what? Is life so boring in this world we have to treat people like pieces of meat to use at our convenience because working at something more it just too stressful or because sex is the answer for everything?
I am not bashing anyone here as I am not free of sin, but this whole idea sounds pretty empty to me.
Does no one have real hobbies anymore? How about if your so bored make a new friend of either gender, make their day by befriending someone who needs to smile more. Does anyone have the time for that anymore or is it you have your group of pals and to hell with anyone new who needs a pal?
How sad the world is today that it is so much easier to find someone to BANG then it is to find DECENT friends. That says it all doesn't it?
Does anyone value integrity, honour, commitment, and not wasting each other's time anymore?
Or is it that deep down people are so sad and lonely at this emptiness in the world today, that they will take what they can get, since so many others have this idea as well and people don't have the WILLPOWER anymore to stand up for what they believe in and say no this isn't good enough for me and I deserve to be TREATED better and let's make this WORLD a BETTER PLACE?
Sincerely;
The loneliest person in the world, but not a PUSHOVER.
Peace Out.
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:22:56 AM | I think "no strings" can work but you need to both be clear on what it is and more importantly what it is not.
Usually "no strings" works if not wanting a full relationship but wanting more a FWB arrangement. Maybe you don't have time for a relationship, just ended one and want to enjoy the freedom again, or have other priorities like work in your life.
The moment one of you starts having feelings though other than what was agreed upon (love vs lust) you need to be honest and either let your feelings be known or end the relationship. You should also understand that the other person has the right to end the relationship if when you share your feelings that they do not feel the same way to further avoid you being hurt.
This is a "here and now" type realtionship versus "future" committment.
They did not promise to build you sand castles in the sky, only to play on the beach! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:33:23 AM | | I have always done it this way. The biggest thing is, you must be safe--have fun, but be safe.....to much weird stuff going around. ....plus you can't get jealous, if you are a jealous person, then this style isn't for you... There is nothing better than a call from your "no strings attached" buddy.... | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:37:20 AM | | I've recently become more comfortable with the concept of no strings datng, and it has worked pretty well for me so far. It can be a bit of a tricky dance to do well, so open communication is essential to prevent the hurt feelings. If everyone is open and secure in themselves, it is possible to have a lot of fun this way, try a lot of new things, etc. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:42:47 AM | Call it what you will: it's basically FWB/FB. That's it.
The "no strings" tag is just a polite euphemism. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 11:32:06 AM | | first of all where are these no strings people at and why cant i find them?LOL!!! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:08:05 PM | So I guess the only way to put a smile on people's faces is by giving and getting the big Orgasm?
Oh it's safer having a FWB or no strings deal? Less std's? Pfffffffffft. If your under that belief when they are dating others and apparently SEX is the biggest pastime around, don't be surprised of one day you wake up with more then just a big smile on your face.
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:53:27 PM | | I don't think it is about the big "O".....I just like to have fun....We live only once as we know it, so why not have the most fun you can..... | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:56:02 PM | | Kasandroid...you should ALWAYS practice safe sex!!!! Even if in a relationship- all of a sudden declaring you are "a couple" does not make sex safe unless you are a couple of idiots! I say show me the damn papers from the doctor and even then tests must be run and come back clean for min 6 months to be really medically declared "safe".... not to mention that possible cheating can be a hidden lurking issue rendering risk. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 1:48:07 PM | Comet: What you experiences was clearly "cheating" and it has absolutely nothing to do with your questions regarding Friends With Benefits. Dating someone for a relationship is the whole package "friendship, love, sex." Friends with Benefits means that the love component isn't there, but you don't lie to your friends.
As for having multiple partners or group sex, when I was in my FWB stage, that's something that I would have been more open to. Since I'm not in love with an FWB, I'm not worried about jealousy if another person gets added to the mix. However, both partners have to agree that this is acceptable and if a person isn't really comfortable with this, then the type of relationship they're in isn't going to change that.
Spitfire: You keep saying "No strings = FWB" you could not be more wrong. No strings means you do not owe your partner anything. EN-EE-THING. Real name? Optional. Respect? Optional... You owe it to yourself to use protection, but that shouldn't be a shocker. Friends With Benefits... Friends being the first word. This person might primarily be about satisfying a sexual need in your life, but you still owe them all the consideration that you actually give your friends.
Kasandroid: I'm no longer interested in having FWB. It was a good place for me to be for a while, and to be quite honest it was one of my FWB that helped me be ready for love again. I can honestly say that I left every one of my FWB in "better condition" than when we started. To say that I treated them (or they treated me) "just like a piece of meat" isn't fair to me or them. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 3:05:24 PM | | Kasandroid, I've nevr found masturbation to be anywhere near the equivilant of a good lover. Toys are fine if you just need to relieve a little tension but they don't run warm hands along you or groan when you touch them. Yes, sometimes sex is just physical but I've never used anyone or treated them "just like a piece of meat". We are consenting adults giving and recieving pleasure from each other. I don't see that as a bad thing. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:24:06 PM | Was I talking about my sex life here? Does having a different opinion then some mean I'm asking anyone here to give me specific details about who they hump and how safely? And what their Germ papers say? The point was people say alot of things and just cause they say they ain't screwing anyone else doesn't mean they are telling the TRUTH. Especially with FWB's. ACTIONS speak louder then WORDS. Do you think my little offbeat opinion here is gonna stop anybody from what they clearly can't go without?
Can anyone look at the bigger picture these days and offer some views about why society SUCKS? Without it turning into I don't do this and I don't do that and bla bla bla?
Oh it's not treating people like a piece of meat but you only wanna hang out with them for a F-ck? What would you call that then? Oh lordy I forgot a date.
Can anyone with a different opinion offer one anymore or do we just have to go along with the Sheeple so nobody gets offended and nobody feels shame and nobody sheds a tear? I guess not, I guess it's all let's have our blinders on and protest anyone who ruins our glorious FUN.
Awe. CARRY ON THEN MAKE IT WORK, MAKE IT WORK and then OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:16:55 PM | | I've had no strings dating work a couple of times and not work a couple of times. I find it's easier if the relationship is kept strictly to the bed room. When you start going out on dates it can start to feel like a real relationship. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:30:18 AM | | No strings stand's 4U can do what U please the other person has no hold on U and should not want 2 goes both way's U don't let emotions get in2 it, U brake the rules if U want more. Sorry 2 here U where hurt but try Dating instead of no strings! goodluck | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:51:48 AM | MaeB (msg 38),
You've hit the nail on the head. Sums up my own experiences and feelings exactly. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/22/2008 11:50:09 PM | | I have an on going one with an actual ex boyfriend. We started out as my boytoy..( he likes to be called that, not my words..haha) then became boyfriend and girlfriend. After a couple we decided didnt work and went back to boytoy. status. He dates and so do I we are very honest about that. We don't expect anything from eachother and have wonderful out of bed relationship. I feel very lucky. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:27:44 AM | Good question....I think I'd like to try "no strings" dating. I think. Maybe.
I'm not wanting to remarry but also don't want a one night stand...something inbetween, I think. My dilemma is that I'm planning to move out of state at some point, not sure when...and it appears that at least some of the men that attract me are looking for a long term relationship or marriage. So.... if I do develop an ongoing relationship with someone, how could I expect him to give up his search since I won't be around after the next year or two or three? I think that I need to be OK about him dating other people....and to help me not become too attached, I would probably need to date other people too. Which to me means "no strings". However, I do hope that even after I move elsewhere that we could continue our relationship long distance, if it's mutually satisfying. Lots of "what if's" here....so we'll see what happens, or doesn't. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:28:08 AM | i have pulled this off successfully. neither party got hurt. neither party was exclusive.
if you have no expectations, you don't get hurt.
you also have to be willing to communicate and talk about things as with any other friendship/relationship.
there is no such thing as no strings dating. there is always something to be dealt with when more than one person is involved. period.
at least when one of them is a woman. he he. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:02:34 PM | | Based on the individuals response to both IM and email, I would say that she is blowing smoke, more talk than action, in a fantasy world and not in reality | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:32:07 PM | | Comet, It's just the way we're built. Usually when a man and a woman become intimate it's because one of those two people have ideas for something "more". Even still though, two people hooking up and having sex usually is going to trigger one of those persons' feelings growing into something more than just a good ol' romp in the hay. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:00:17 PM | Hmmm, I've never had a nailed-down (no pun intended) "friends with benefits" relationship... but I have dated some women where it was pretty clear that we both weren't looking to "go steady" quite yet or possibly if at all, and it lingered there for a while. Usually due to huge life-oriented differences, but mere attraction and conversation. There may be fuzzy descriptions...
Just with any form of dating w/o commitments, it can get complicated and it's playing with fire if things aren't super-clear. Friends with benefits is no exception (the frequent or occasional dates is the bedroom in this case).
It can be pulled off when you both know you guys are NOT compatible -- both ways. This is usually misunderstood, and one gets to really be into the other, while the other one is not. Hence, playing with fire. I couldn't see it working if the guy and the gal are seeing each other a lot -- then they're just trying to fool themselves that there'll be no complication.
Significant distance with periodic communication? Could be pulled off. Huge age difference? Yep. In those or any cases, neither party could be a "romantic" or have that mindset. Hard to pull off in common situations when it looks promising, I'm sure. | |
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