| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:08:02 AM | | Why does it seem so impossible for 2 women to share a man and not want to kill the other woman? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:29:42 AM | OP...NOPE, none of us can help you. Only YOU can help yourself with this one. If you were blissfully happy in this relationship you wouldn't be here asking for help.
It amazes me the number of people who view his actions as "trying not to hurt" his gf. If he's so stupid as to think that he is going to hurt her less by cheating on her than ending their relationship, please don't have babies with this nimrod! The world doesn't need more of that mentality.
If a person is truly concerned about a spouse or SO's feelings, then love and/or respect them enough to end the marriage or relationship first. Yes, they may hurt if you end it, but it will hurt a hell of a lot worse when you interject cheating into the mix!
Trust is such a critical element in a relationship. How in the world will you ever have that with someone who began your relationship in the midst of lies and deceit. RUN STORM! RUN! 
Follow your heart, Storm. It's telling you things are not right or you wouldn't be here posing the question.
Good luck, 
Rose Mary | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:04:26 PM | Miashakti, When I said she was better than that-I MEANT better than being the other woman! And by sharing my feelings, I was never indicating they were anyone else's responsibilty but my own.
Obviously you have never been hurt in such a way that comes with infidelity and betrayal. You are pretty**** about the whole thing. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:02:54 AM | | Miashakti, I am sorry that happened to you. It sucks, but you seem very strong! Good for you! :) | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 11:40:25 AM | | i cant belivev that you would admitt that.but having said that and your looking for advice i will give it to you.first of all your not a bad person because deep down inside you nkow its not right.if he cheats on his girlfriend that should tell you he will cheat on you.and dont say things like he pushed up on you first to let your self off the hook.i cant wait to homecoming when she comes up and you see him with her all hugged up and then and onley then will you get it.you should have more respect for your self than that hes treating you like a peice of meat i nkow he says he cant brake up with her because she might hurt herself and some other redicules storey.dont mix good sex with love he has got to go keep your self esteem if not you will be the nkew girlfreind he cheats on. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:50:44 PM | How does it feel to be second best ?
You clearly have issues about your self esteem. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:07:02 PM | If you are adult enough to actively involve yourself in an affair, then grow up, stop acting immature and actively behave in an adult fashion to either:
a) Continue the affair, wherever it takes you.
b) Stop the affair by breaking all contact.
c) Stop the affair, and throw some salt onto the relationship you are in between.
The one thing that you don't do is try and act like some victim looking for 'help'
The only person who can help you is yourself. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:58:54 PM |
Why does it seem so impossible for 2 women to share a man and not want to kill the other woman?
Probably for the same reason that some men don't want to share their woman with another man. They would not only kill the other man, but the woman too. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:02:04 PM | First of all is he isn't married, then it isn't cheating as he didn't stand before God and promise to forsake all others. He is single.
I have never been the other woman but can tell you that everyone who says "don't play second" or why do you want someone who doesn't put you first has not dated the men I have. They were single but still had no time for me so just because you date someone single doesn't mean he is going to be there anymore for you than the attached one. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:39:44 PM | | why what's worse is that he initiated it.....does that absolve you? You could have said, No, thank you. It is never too late to say it. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:12:58 PM | OMG, i love number 4. don't get wrapped up in other peoples bullshit. | |
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D_lily
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 262 | |
| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:10:18 AM | What goes around comes around. Karma. It never forgets.  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:12:38 AM | Women like you DISGUST ME. Its one thing if you are the other woman and you dont know you are but if you know he has a gf and your sleeping with him theres NO EXCUSE. I hope he gives you an STD | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:20:20 AM |
that is so typical for a women to want a taken man Trust me, the majority of women can appreciate a taken man who seems to have it all, but we prefer and will only seek out available men. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:11:17 PM | | I also have been the outher woman and my guy was married he finisht it before the christmas it hurted like hell for ages and still dose but now he's getting a divorce all he wants to be is friends im not saying its right but what i am saying is somtimes a heart dose not follow the rules so for people who are giving this girl grief give her a brack ok at least she has been strong enough to tell us | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:10:38 PM | Good grief.....sigh. Thought I might get out of here without an emotional bond to a question. Not so lucky. "The Other" woman will NEVER measure up ~ no matter what she is about, does, says or displays (reacts, as well.)
Without history, no one but those who love me will understand this answer, but there is NEVER "another women." There are however, "other women." Sadly. Cheaters do what they do for themselves......no one else.
OP~ take care of you and remember ~ no matter what number you are on as a priority ~ "the other woman" never wins. She walks in the shadows of an imperfect person.....perfected out of guilt by the slimey aldulterer. I promise.....it's not a place to hang your hat. Hard as that is to stomach. Best of luck to you.  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:27:03 PM | Isn't it amazing what one will do....and another believe....when 'CHEATING' has benefit unknowingly for both in the 'Dirty, no guts, balls, heart, truth OR integrity' Deed Of Cheating? ...They've both convinced one another and groomed each other into believing "This is meant to be...It's from God....Our Destiny".....blah blah blah.
Neither one of them considering the obvious that even the 'gray matter challenged' can see, when not blinded by the big fat 'Benefit' of some sort of immediate relief or gratification gained in the scam...Being temporarily blinded with selfish greed/need of some sort......Neither have even pondered, "If I'm lying...making excuses for why I want out....maybe the one I'm 'grooming' is too"? Cheats, think they are way way to keen, to original, to 'schooled'... to be fooled by a fellow "Cheater", they also think they are way over the top in clever and cunning to be recognized or discovered as the heartless fraud they are, prior to "achievement". Once all the real promises fail, and the real lack of 'conviction' begins to show...well, at such time this should occur, no roblem, the Cheater always plans ahead......"Next"!!!
And when a Cheater gets 'The Big Burn'....My Oh My....It is just toooo comical.... All the while they as well are being 'groomed' !! Without a clue!!! LOL, So cunningly by way of the support, encouragement, pampering... prompting they 'pretend' to be in need of... to 'brave' doing 'the right thing in leaving, 'breaking away' from in reality the honest and genuine partner (now being unknowingly described as "a heartless, dangerous, money hungry user" ) " Well Groomed", conditioning well at work, eventually totally blindsiding the CHEATER by another CHEATER!!
It just doesn't get any better than the 'show' yet to come....just a little further on down the road!! Get your tickets early!! Buy popcorn....enjoy!! It is always a story that keeps you rolling in the isles! Brought to the big giant screen, in real living color, enhanced with surround sound and for your viewing pleasure by "KARMA", the makers of "Life and Manifest Destiny"....Sit back, enjoy the show...."When the Cheater Gets Cheated...and the cry heard around the world!"...............   ....did ur cheating heart get cheated and broken?
Call: 1-800-snivel...Operators are standing by to take your call, ready and waiting to LAUGH IN YOUR FACE!!! | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 12:59:39 AM | This tread.. entitled "I'm The Other Guy" has gotten some very reasonable advice without the narly comments that most of the women in this thread have dished out to the gal in "I'm The Other Woman" thread. Some of the men even sympathize with the dude who's been cheating. Which begs the question. Is "the other guy thread more civilized because the forum rules have tightened up or, because most feel that the cheating woman is worse than the cheating man?
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11184994.aspx
Op: Maybe the "other man" thread will help educate you more than this one has *shrugs*
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:09:06 AM | know this is gonna sound terrible. But I am sleeping with someone in college, who has a girlfriend. Who I really like.
Whats worse is he initiated it. And I know I have feelings for him too ... but I know I should call it off.
Can anyone help me?
This isn't difficult: stop doing it. It really depends on your moral and ethical values. They aren't what mine are; I wouldn't start such a situation, and if I had, my values would tell me to stop, immediately. It seems if you are asking for help, you don't know what your values are? Or you think there is some magic way to get this guy for yourself and we are gonna give you the info to do that? Or, you do want to stop but can't do it? First, decide what your values are, then live by them. There is no magic way to get the guy away from his girlfriend. Period. If you think what you are doing is wrong, just stop. Simple. Grow up. Be a big girl. Think and act like an adult. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 3:26:47 AM | Remember, the guy isn't married so just remember to stay safe and have fun. Too many young people act like they're married when they're not.
This is the statement that really concerns me: "What's worse is he initiated it."
I wish you could see how childish that sounds. It doesn't matter one iota who initiated it. Whatever direction you decide to take, no one is putting a gun to your head so remember to always take personal responsibility. It's all part of growing up
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 5:28:18 AM | Remember, the guy isn't married so just remember to stay safe and have fun. Too many young people act like they're married when they're not
So, if you had a boyfriend, and he was sleeping with another woman, you wouldn't care?
stay safe and have fun
I wonder how much fun his girlfriend would be having when she learns her boyfriend is sleeping with someone else...
it's all part of growing up
Screwing around like monkeys without a thought for other people's feelings you mean, part of growing up?
Interesting take on things...
But I am sleeping with someone in college, who has a girlfriend. Who I really like.
And the girlfriend of the guy she's screwing is a friend of hers: "Who I really like." Cool. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 12:06:39 PM | | And your playing 2nd best why? If he's not satisfied with the other then make him make you the only one. Or find someone who can. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 12:14:32 PM |
know this is gonna sound terrible. But I am sleeping with someone in college, who has a girlfriend. Who I really like.
Whats worse is he initiated it. And I know I have feelings for him too ... but I know I should call it off.
wow such honesty and morals here in the threads, too bad you don't have any in person when it comes to sex. Like many woman part of you is enjoying having the man of another woman, it's a notch in your ego admit it you like it. If you were gonna call it off you would have by now. grow up. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 11/9/2008 5:25:28 PM | seems pretty much like you have the answers you need. You feel that you should break it off. You know he is dating another girl so it sounds like you know you must break it off.
The only potential complication is the fact you are developing feelings for him. | |
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