| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 4:40:07 AM | A tiny part of me says" he's not married, and go for it"
The majority of me says" keep him at a distance,"
It really depends on you.... If it bothers you so much that you write a post about it , I would say stop what you are doing and move on.
but I know I should call it off.
these are your own words.... did someone mention "Integrity"?
~Tina~ | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 4:53:43 AM |
I know this is gonna sound terrible. But I am sleeping with someone in college, who has a girlfriend. Who I really like.
Whats worse is he initiated it. And I know I have feelings for him too ... but I know I should call it off.
"He initiated it?"
Is that supposed to be some type of "face-saving" excuse?
You're an adult.
You made a conscious decision to do something that you now regret.
It's obvious that he's using you and her for gratification and that since he hasn't left her for you...he never will.
And,if he did,would you be able to trust him?
Or would he be able to trust YOU?
You know how this going to end... | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 4:55:54 AM | [qoute]I know this is gonna sound terrible. But I am sleeping with someone in college, who has a girlfriend. Who I really like.
Whats worse is he initiated it. And I know I have feelings for him too
soo, how's that workin' for you???
-I'm the other woman (really, how does it sound to YOU?)
-sounds terrible but (what's your excuse? Are you looking for validation for it?)
-worse, he started it (take your share of personal responsibility here toots, AND, unless he holds some position of power over you, you must account for your own actions)
you are 18, the foundation for your integrity is set, you are at the point in life where the rubber meets the road...if your behavior is out of alignment with your values, it's a rough ride.
Your decisions determine the degree and duration of drama in your life. The roller coaster may be the best ride in the park, but would you want to ride it every day? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 4:58:36 AM | Yeah, figure out why OPP attracts you so much. 'cause there can't be so few men in your college you can't find someone who offers a same or better situation.
Was it the fact that he chased after you? Was that the turn-on? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 6:11:21 AM | 
For heavens sakes, would you like to be treated the way the you all have treat the gf?
Some people look for a "cheap thrill"...........
Do not allow yourself to be his "cheap thrill" any longer.
Cheaters are liars.........
quit being a liar.
Neither one of you would be able to trust the other completely.
I will never understand the reason(s) for some grown people doing things they knew from the beginning were.............. w-r-o-n-g
You said you liked his gf.
How does it make you feel to look into her face?
And there she is thinking everything is hunky dory.
Her just rowing along and not a clue of the undercurrent.....
the betrayal, lies, cheating........
It's just a matter of time and things will reveal themselves.
And tada, there it is for everyone to see.
The "thrill seeker" I was attached to bought his cheap thrills all over Korea......
the beer swilling, country music loving, low-life, dog that he was.
His actions hurt 100's of people on both sides of the family.
ceeceekitty
I detest cheaters......could you tell? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 6:56:13 AM | | No, we can't help you. You have to use your common sense and self-control. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 8:11:14 AM | ^^^ You hit the nail on the head! 
Op: I have to ask...If he dropped his current gal would you move into the girlfriend position? And if you did could you trust him knowing he is a cheater?
Food for thought!  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 8:32:21 AM | If you don't call it off.... all three of you will get hurt in this.
Honestly... you don't want him! If he is willing to do that to her.... he will do it to you! There are lots of guys out there who don't screw around.... why get yourself involved with one who will?
It's a little different if they were living together and splitting up. I personally don't believe either should seek someone else until the relationship is completely over and you are independent of each other but at least if that was the case, you could look at is as well we just happened to fall for each other and it was just a case of bad timing.
He's a liar and a cheater. Do you really want a guy like that? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 8:33:54 AM | | How is it worse that he initiated it? You did something really terrible here, and stupid. Stop now, and hope it never gets out. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 8:38:56 AM | ~OP~ Can anyone help? I think it goes back to the days when you grow your own set of morals and ethics. Maybe revisit those while looking in the mirror and realizing you are sleeping with someone else's man. That' s a cardinal rule women should have and hold dear: we stick together and we protect one another. It's really pretty simple ~ keep the pants on and stay away from him. Do you really want something in the future knowing he'll be sleeping around on you next????? JMO  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:40:57 AM | Do yourself a favor and end it.
Even if - best possible scenario for you - he leaves his gf for you, you will *always* wonder and be waiting for him to do the same to you.
As a teenager, I walked a mile in your shoes. It ended with my heart broken.
As an adult, I've walked more then a mile in the wife's shoes. It ended with my heart broken several times and me a single mother, trying to not only to heal my heart, but also those of the children whose lives & hearts were shattered by a father's infidelity.
I don't pass judgement on you, but you know that what you are doing is not right and will result in at least one person being heart broken.
Do you really want to wait years... alone on holidays, because he "has to keep up pretenses" with her and her family? Always being second best? Never being able to be out in public "in case someone she knows sees you"?
It's not worth it - you deserve someone who puts you first, who doesn't hide you or lie about you. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:53:12 AM | Listen up Pumpkin , its all about respect , if you can respect yourself in the morning then you have your answer, but think about this, Is what you're doing fair to the girlfriend that doesn't know?
Do you think you could trust this guy if something serious( which I doubt) would develop between you and this guy?
How would you feel if you're involved with someone and you found out he was sleeping with a college girl, you would feel pretty shitty
Doesn't matter if he initiated it or not, you need to take responsibility for your actions, its all part of growing up. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:00:53 AM | What would you like us to do?
Steal him away from you?
Call his girlfriend? | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:01:59 AM | | as long as you can tell us what scotsmen wear under their kilts. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:02:17 AM | | You are 18 years old. How can you possibly know what you want? Just have fun. But keep in mind that you are a beautiful young lady and that you should be treated as such. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:03:28 AM | | Been there, done that. He is using you..and will use every woman. Take the advice from of an older woman..if they have a girlfriend or wife..run...chances are he is not only cheating on his girlfriend..he is cheating on you too. Get out while you still can before your heart is broken..and good luck! | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:08:22 AM | You can never really appreciate the feeling you are going to produce when everything comes to light. Once you do,..if you are human, You'll never do it again. When on one side of the fence,..you can justify every action, rationalize every reason it should continue. How wonderful the outcome might be... on the other side, You can't imagine how someone could hurt you, someone you don't know walked into your life, and became a tornado. They destroyed everything and evaporated with the dark cloud that brought it. You bleed from betrayal,.. bleed from anger, and it is a wound that never quite heals completely.
Someday, what you do, will visit you,.. on the other side of the fence, and I hope you think of my words.
I've done things that would make most of the "normal" people in here vomit.. But I will never, knowingly come between anyone in a relationship. Guess there IS actually some bits of moral values I haven't quite shaken.. or, it's because I've experienced the aftermath of what you're doing.
Either way, I know No words here, will sway you from what you do, I just hope when it returns to you, it drives the dull rusty point home and twists..  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:13:46 AM | Ask yourself this, would you like him pulling this crap on you? I doubt it, if you know you need to break it off then DO IT! Have a little respect for the other woman he's supposed to be with. Sounds like you have the makings of a cheater, having no problem sleeping with someone already involved with the potential of hurting someone innocent, the ORIGINAL woman. Well, if you get hurt then I suppose you brought it on yourself, I have no sympathy for anyone that willingly gets involved with someone they KNOW is already involved with someone else, quite the opposite actually.  | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:21:08 AM | but I know I should call it off.
Can anyone help me?
help you what? Of course you should call it off. Did you think the majority here would try to talk you out of it??
Look, don't beat yourself up. It's not like you are wrecking a marriage and even if you were I seriously doubt that the world would quit turning. But you are setting yourself up to be hurt, maybe even risking your sexual health. And wasting valuable time on an involvement that's never gonna go anyplace other than the bedroom. Or are you OK with that? I'd much rather see you with somebody you can be proud to be with, but I'm not livin' your life so that's just my opinion FWIW.
Cindy O | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:41:34 AM | | OP; You can help yourself by facing the Responsibility & the Consequences for your actions. You got yourself into this situation, now you have to deal with it!! | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:51:35 AM | | It's crazy to be sleeping with any man who would sleep with more than one woman at a time. If you're gonna do it, just be safe and don't be as stupid or blind as the girlfriend. But realize that this makes both of you look pretty sad. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:01:29 PM | | Get pregnant and then blackmail him. Sure way to win him over. (or end up in a refrigerator) | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:06:46 PM | | What I'm wondering is if he is telling his girlfriend about you? Does she know he's putting her health and possibly her life at risk? An if he's cheating on her with you then what makes you think he doesn't have an actual meat route and is doing this with a number of women.My advise to you would be to make an appointment with your doctor and get tested for STD's . If you have no STD's consider yourself lucky.Then find someone thats not a cheat.Actually you know he's got a girl friend so your both cheats. | |
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| I'm the other women
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:10:26 PM | Ok all I can say is people like you make things hard for people like me who don't cheat....He may have initiated it, but you could have and should have said no. I have been on the end of being cheated on, and that hurts. So I got no pity for you and my only advice now is to figure out how to get yourself out, since you put yourself into this situation.
You should have expected a flaming coming in here and admitting to being the other woman.... | |
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