| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:25:13 AM | You answered your own question OP.
A person indicates that he/she is not ready for anything significant at that moment….
They might have thought they were ready and then realized that they weren't after things got serious... | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:31:39 AM |
No further involvement.
They probably saw them naked.
How possible is it that let’s say a 1 year or 2 years later that person comes back with clear serious intentions?
When monkeys fly.
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:33:31 AM | | Woman.. your hoping, but it wasn't there for him.. If a man or woman can only see you sometimes, never takes you out, never visits friends and family, then you are strictly their passion partner. It works both sides of the street. I have been with a couple of 'later to find out' married woman! that used that technique on me.. sigh.. But I picked up on it quickly.. Now don't be upset at yourself for falling for it.. you did enjoy it, you just wanted more.. But it's not there.. Do yourself a favor and don't keep taking him back when he 'drops by'. thats only a temporary thing.. Smile lots, move on, and that fish is definately a 'catch and release type'. | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:44:59 AM | I think it can and does happen. Not that frequently but it does.
The fictitious person in your scenario could have just not been in the right place in his/her life for a commitment. He/she knows they aren't ready but because of the attraction/chemistry that was obvious they have to come up with a reason for not seeing the other person. Though they might know they aren't being completely honest with themselves or the other person they wont admit that right then.
"indicates that he/she is not ready for anything significant at that moment…. In addition, the person tells you that he/she feels that you are not the one. He/she states that there is no compatibility or whatever and basically breaks up with you. No further involvement."
After much time passes the person now feels ready for a relationship and remembers how great the male/female they left behind was.
To me if I had felt I had left things on an OK ending, it would be OK to try to reconnect to see if maybe there truly is something between us.
For the record I have never done this but I know I have met a couple pretty amazing men since I have been on my own. Maybe one of them I am meant to be with. Of course I doubt it but I never say never.  | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:16:24 PM | | I beg to differ... I had hot and heavy weekends with a fellow over a six month period... then I got smart and told him to stop contacting me unless he was serious... several years later he contacted me saying that he was getting to the point of wanting to settle down and only could think of me... we were together almost 17 years... mind you not always good ones but we have two incredible daughters now... so it can happen... | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:18:43 PM | | Well, that sort of thing happens to me unusually often. But for a majority of relationships, judging by others' comments here, it's not likely, though I'd understand where the hope comes from. | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:05:30 PM | "Originally very clearly attracted and chemistry obvious" is called lust. Once the person starts becoming more aware of this individual, he or she may not desire to be in a long term relationship and they come up with excuses or reasons to not continue dating this person as you've stated.
It takes years to really get to know some one and this is the reason to never jump too soon. Many do and end up getting hurt. Why do you think there are sooooo many heart breaks and divorces? People confuse lust for true love.
If a man tells me that he's not interested and I'm not the one for him, I move on. I appreciate his honesty. It doesn't waste our time together. If he were to come back later with serious intentions, then I would question this with him and I would probably still move on. | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:42:47 PM | | We I do agree to a point. At first there is a physical attraction or there would be no relationship. Yes we"date" or "cort" to win someones heart and to build a relationship and see if there is a chemistry that may lead to a prmenant union.At some time there is going to be a "lust" on one or the others part and maybe even both. Then there is "falling in love", an infatuation combined with lust. Then there is "love" This is a choice. You either choose to love or not. Then there are time when one may instinctively know that there is no chemistry or lust or infatuation. Then there will never be love. So move on. Be honest and let go. If they come back later it is because the got shot down elsewhere and you are now second fiddle. | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:26:14 PM | I had this experiience. Met a man who, like me at the time, was only looking for companionship, fun and nothing long term. We both stated this.
A few months later, and he was telling me he wanted to be exlusive, and told me he was no longer playing. I had developed feelings too, so I was not unhappy with this turn of events at all. We began actiing more like a couple. I let down my guard, and really began to let my feelings for him blossom within me.
A couple months later, he told me that it was a mistake, and he did not want anything more than an ongoing friendship.
I will say this-he did not decieve me. He kept me in the loop thru all his changes as it related to us.
I was really hurt, but I cant force someone to 'be ready' just because I am. Sometimes we meet people at the wrong time in our lives...or thiers and there is noting we can do about it.
Chances he will come back later? It really depends on how you left things. Is there still a freindship, or has there been things said that cannot be taken back? Hurtful things?
I wouldnt count on it, but stanger things have happened. | |
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| What is your experience with this one?
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:14:57 PM | | If you show interests still the whole time your not together, not dating, then the person would feel that they have a back up if they can't find someone they actually want to be with. Tell the person no, you had your chance whatever time ago. chance came and went. | |
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