| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:47:15 PM | I just read another thread about women who do this. People of both genders do it, so what's novel about that?
Some people are more comfortable than others telling dates directly that they're not interested. Others have a hard time saying things they think might be hurtful. Maybe he really was interested, then something he saw/heard/sensed in you put him off. There's really no way to know unless you ask him directly. Asking people here will get you as many different answers as posts ~ not much point to that, really.
"When people show you who they are, believe them." ~ Oprah Winfrey
If he's not interested, just move on. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:34:49 PM | First of all, guys tell you that they like you and then don't act on it because they are not going to tell you that they don't like you enough to keep dateing you plus they think this is what you want to hear.
When guys date , most of them date more than one woman,and SO SHOULD YOU - So when someone don't make plans with you anymore, you won't feel so down about it, because there is someone else to get to know better jump: keep your options open, and see what is out there for you, who really clicks with you spiritually.It does not mean, that you have to sleep around. Oh, and don't forget to have lots of fun in the main time 
good luck, | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:58:31 AM | I'm not sure how to answer this original thread, since I'm not one to ignore a woman I'm interested in. And several I've shown interest in, were to busy playing the field to notice my interest in them. But I must say I'm appalled at the people's comments saying to play the game, date around, or screw them back.  People that do this, are the ones F***ing it up for those of us who actually believe in a One-Person-Love, a soulmate, and who WANT to try to treat someone with the same respect we wish to be treated with.
I for one, am tired of seeing women's profile who are "Looking for Mr. Right" or their Knight in shining Armor, and then IGNORE when they have someone like that right in front of them to go chase after Mr. Tall Hunky who's going to treat them like shit. You think Men are shallow? HA!
So Ask yourselves:
If you REALLY want a Good Hearted Man, who is genuinely Interested in YOU for who you are inside, ... then Are YOU looking for the Man who is Right on the inside, or just one who looks like a hunk on the outside? 
A True Knight | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:08:42 PM | I have the same situation right now, weve talked for 3 weeks, went out one night , spent 3 hrs together, still talk all day or text, and he just cant find time for me, i dont get it , is it becouse hes only been seperated for 2 mnths ???? is he even ready to move on???? i DOUBT IT !!! unfortanately i had to say good bye , becouse i was soooo into him and he was too emotionally unavailable.........., HELP..... | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:28:12 PM | Well I think it might be due to the state of confusion women have put us in. For an example, this thread carries the title "Why do men say they are interested when they don't act like it."
When I logged on the very next thread title was ,"Creepy over persistant strange men, and how to get rid of them."
In other words, Yes we are interested but you will have to take the lead, lest we be accused of being creepy and over persistant. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:37:19 AM |
Well I think it might be due to the state of confusion women have put us in. For an example, this thread carries the title "Why do men say they are interested when they don't act like it."
When I logged on the very next thread title was ,"Creepy over persistant strange men, and how to get rid of them."
In other words, Yes we are interested but you will have to take the lead, lest we be accused of being creepy and over persistant.
Ah, but you girls are supposedly so great at reading people, yet unless it's bluntly told to you on a regular basis you don't know if a guy likes you. Unless the guy actually does profess affection for a girl, then he's a stalker. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:52:28 AM | I've found in my lifetime, this type of confusion was either:
1. I could not gauge the person properly.
2. I could not gauge how I was coming across properly.
3. Both 1 and 2.
Humility eventually made it clear to me it was mostly 3.
The solution was to calmy, directly, and honestly communicate any misinterpretations, even if it was after it was too late.  | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:38:38 AM | | This thing we call dating isn’t at all the guys fault. There happens to be guys myself included who are sincere with their intentions. In this online dating scenario, it’s actually a woman world. In that there are so many choices for the woman. She picks and chooses, rightfully so but the guys they go for are the one’s who seek meet greet and hmmmm. I met someone on POF she was a wonderful bubbly woman she told me that we had chemistry yet haven’t heard from her since who figure. My, question to all you ladies here in this forum. We did have dinner a place of her choosing the meal was outstanding the conversation was wonderful. Where did I go wrong? Should I have been more of a dog? Welcome comments on this one. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 7/28/2008 12:02:44 PM | | not a fan of those who cannot say what they mean and be honest. i actually asked one guy why he even bothered to waste my time with calling,iming,saying all the wonderful things if he was going to stand me up twice. he got upset when i told him there wouldn't be a third time since i was not into feeling like a fool. his reply was on the lines of 'you just can't appreciate my music career,and sometimes plans change'.i just laughed and told myself its good i found out early on how he was. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 8/2/2008 1:41:37 PM | I could not agree with you more erotic_vybez, people today are all talk, no action. They will play you and play you waiting to see if something better comes along. It's our society actually. We are so spoiled, we can get whatever we want, when ever we want it, 24/7 and it seems relationships have become as disposable as diapers. Truly sad...
Peace,
Bill | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 8/2/2008 2:43:36 PM | OP you state, "Men, help a girl out! I have met many men who verbally express interest (after meeting), call, flirt, send emails but don't seem to make any plans to get together. Let's assume that they are "really" single. Is it just that they aren't emotionally available?"
Basically there are three reasons he may have for not making plans with you. 1) He may have a busy schedule of other dates with other women. 2) He may be too shy to make the first move in that direction or 3) He figures you're not interested in him.
He was possibly sent the wrong signals or got the wrong idea that you weren't interested in going out. Give him a slight hint and see where it goes from there. Flirt some more and tease him about going out together. He'll get the hint and may even let you in on something that opens up the relationship. | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 8/2/2008 11:34:37 PM |
since I'm not one to ignore a woman I'm interested in.
exactly right! the only time someone who is really interested will ignore you is if they're insecure and not sure you really like them. how to fix? easy. let the person know you're interested. that'll allay any insecurities. at that point, if the person doesn't respond with a LOT of interest (both actions and words), then it's either the coward act or the back burner act. i can never figure the back burner mentality, btw. i just can't imagine using someone. i also can't imagine having to pretend i'm more attracted to someone than i really am. for what??? sex or money or something??? hardly worth it. it would gross me out too much! i prefer to not date unless i'm really enamored with the person. i'll wait until i have true interest, thank-you!!! :) | |
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| Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it?
Posted: 8/3/2008 12:36:36 AM | OP, you should continue looking for other men.
The problem with internet dating is that we get so few responses, and so few positive responses. So we can't wait for a response before sending out the next approach email. We also get women approaching us.
So 95% of the time nobody is interested, and 5% of the time 4 or 5 women are interested.
There are limits to how much simultaneous dating we can do.
Note though, the first woman dated is not necessarily going to be successful. In-person dates are the next step, but in-person dates have a huge failure rate too.
So keep looking for other men. If your original guy comes back to you, then you can date him. Meanwhile, maybe you'll get lucky and find someone better. | |
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