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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim      Home login  
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 Colonel Bogey
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 126
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslimPage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
If I had a relationship with a Muslim I'd make sure the bed was faced towards the east.

ah, firefox spellchecker forced me to spell Muslim with a capital M so it can't be run by the CIA after all.
 spiraldive
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 127
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:20:26 PM
I don't think this is down to someone being a muslim, this is down to this particular guy being a pr*ick. Control freaks are control freaks regardless or race, sex or religion. He (like many others) was using his misplaced "faith" as a crutch for his own insecurities.

I work sat next to a muslim guy & he is a really nice bloke, loves a laugh & a joke & who (I assume) treats his wife as an equal.

Any religion that threatens death, torture & suffering either in this world or the next, & teaches its followers to treat members of the opposite sex as second class citizens, has pointless outdated rules about what clothes cannot be worn, what food cannot be eaten, what type of music cannot be listened to, what movies cannot be watched....etc etc etc deserves to be ridiculed.. Having a personal belief in Islam or Chritianity or whatever is all good & fine but this is all about control.

I am not talking about any one particular religion here.
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 128
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:11:50 PM
Can i ask if he was asian GOW? I really get peeved off at asian men who date white women to have fun with then go back home and get married to a perfect virgin. Asian men are not strong enough to stand up to their families and often do as they are told. On occasion they will go back and get married and then come back to the white woman over here. I am asian myself but do have a open mind to what i believe is right or wrong. I have a son of my own and he can marry who he chooses i will not interfere.
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 129
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:06:09 PM
Most pakistani and bengali boys will not split from their families this is a fact. Any woman that is seeing either of these races need to accept that they will be dumped as soon as the family call. Pakistanis esp are really into the caste system so even a pakistani girl would not be good enough for their son if they are not in the same caste. Its all very backwards and frustrating for people like myself who are trying to change things from the inside.
 angelsprinkles
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 130
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:29:09 AM
heavenly star , may i ask , do you bring your children up following the muslim faith? and do they have a muslim name ?

this is such an intersting topic for me , and i will try not to go off topic.. my daughter is from a muslim background, her great grandfather is the last of the line to be a fully practicing muslim, so her grandfather and her dad are not .... but its her history her genetics if you like..
her surnamne is mohamed .. this causes so much confusion , i have asked the school etc for her to be known as my surname.

the shcool once issued semi filled in forms for all the kids to bring home for the parents to fill in the rest , and it had been assumed she is a british asian... but can i complain when she is called mohamed??

i was keen for her to know her roots , but as she doesnt see her dad, who may i add... does not practise the muslim faith , but still managed to kick the crap out of me regardless of religion, and all that side of the family are north , and we are south , i have just left it ...

would i want her to know that the muslim faith , her roots are capable of this?
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 131
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:47:35 AM
Its not the faith that made him behave this way it was his own slant on things. I was with a jamaican non muslim who hit me so does that mean all black men beat their wives? I think not. As you said he is not religious and so does not realise how to respect a woman as stated in the quran.

There are a lot of material on the internet that will educate your child about islam. There are also alot of bookshops that sell dvd's that are child friendly. My son attends an islamic saturday school which has children from all different races learning about their religion. Its up to you whether you teach your child about islam but please dont use her dad as an example of a good muslim.

Good luck.
 angelsprinkles
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 132
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:57:45 AM
surreygal , dont know wether that was meant for me . apologies if not, but i did say "regardless of religion" .. and dont know what part of what i wrote mislead you enough to put "does that mean all black men beat up women" or whatever you said..

but thanks for the info on the other stuff , appreciated
 miz Understood
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 133
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:46:21 AM
I have had LOADS of relationships with Muslims... as colleagues, freinds- even family.
I will let you into a little secret....THEY ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT TO US!

I lived in a Muslim country- and you know what- they respected the fact that I am a Christian.
I am incredibly close to one family in particular- I lived with them, as a daughter. I was treated exactly the same as any other of their daughters. My "adopted" dad is an Imam, and an incredibly kind sensitive generous and spiritual man. My "mum" says she cannot tell me apart from one of her sons- she thinks we are identical twins.

No one ever tried to make me wear a scarf, or dress in any particular way. Out of respect for myself, and their good opinion of me, I did not dress in a provocative way. I was always treated with more respect when wearing suitable clothes, it made life better. Respect is something I think the Brits seriously do not understand.

Dad does not drink, some of the family do- but out of respect for him, we do not do it in an obvious way that will shame him.

All the time I lived there they would not accept rent from me- I was a multi-millionaire and they are incredibly poor....I was just expected to contribute as everyone else did...a bag of rice once a month, though I did used to buy a ram on feast days.

They taught me a lot, gave me so much...and one of the best Christmases ever was spent on the beach with my Muslim twin brother, a good friend who happens to be Jewish...and me a good little Catholic girl.
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 134
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:05:58 PM
sorry angel if i sounded harsh. I think i was answering you and everyone else lol. I just got a bit fed up with the muslim bashing when clearly its a cultural issue. I do wish you luck with your decision as its difficult. I would like my son to know his black roots but dont know how to go about that to. I do have some black friends that he spends time with so hopefully that will be enough.

Great comment miz understood.
 diabolikk
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 135
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:35:48 PM
Surreygal 125
What I actually meant is that in Turkey women are relatively better off than any other Muslim country there is.

Made to stay at home is not bad against severe beating, marriage-rape and social humiliation which are common phenomena of female condition, in any Muslim's country social fabric.

I have travelled too, extensively. I love Arab culture. I know Islam rather well.
We will keep big differences on our ideas of what it is but I am happy you are not controlled; I just wish there were more of your strenght.
 chrissy-wigan
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 136
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:00:06 PM
i really dont think it matters if a man has it in him to beat women he will my ex-husband kicked 7bells out of me on our wedding day because in his words i thought i was the bees knees lol it went on for afew mths and i was gone like the wind.


 angelsprinkles
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 137
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:50:38 PM
oh hey surrygal , thats cool thankyou ..

i get a bit confused about it all ... i sit and listen to all the paki jokes and the slaggings etc ... knowing my precious baby has her roots right there...then i join in !!!!

i have my own feeling and thoughts about it all , and i do appreciate you sharing your experience with me
 ukchancer
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 138
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:33:55 PM
I would like to point out that its not Islam the muslim religion that is bad or wrong but its the individuals who behave in an unacceptable way that is wrong.
Alot of people confuse religion with tradtion and local customs.
There is equality in our religion so anything else is just a tradition and a custom not a requirement of Islam.
I am a muslim , yet most of my friends are white and i have friends that are indian / jewish/ chinese and from everywhere else around the world as well and most muslims i know have friends like mine as well.
As a muslim i have brought up to be a good muslim , good father , good son , good neighbour and work hard which i do and im sure these are same values for a good christian as well.
Muslims DO NOT make their women walk behind them , that is total fabrication. Domestic abuse is wrong , evil and unacceptable in every society and its not just a muslim problem.
As a muslim you are not allowed to have a girlfriend so to speak or have a sexual relationship outside of marriage hence some muslims that do try not to flaunt the fact and do jump into alleyways when theyre out with a girl because they want to be seen to be doing something wrong.
I am a muslim , a good friend , dedicated community volunteer , have friends from all faiths and i would like to point out that 95 % of Islam and christianity is made up of same beliefs , we share the same god , same prophets and same values.
So please dont make the religion sound out to be bad when its customs that are alot ofthe time to blame.
 bowie_fan86
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 139
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:50:59 PM
i dated a wonderful muslim man,he is a fantastic man, never ever treated a women badly and didnt treat me badly for a second,i have male muslim friends, great guy, treat all people with respect though often dont reciev it back as they are asian muslim
i think what most the people on this forum are talking about is the minority of cases, there are white men who terrify their wives,black men who terrfy their wifes and children,all of this i belive is in the minority of cases
in japan mothers meet up at a local market holding pictures of their daughters and sons as they are afraid that they wont get married and arrange dates for their children, their children are treated like cattle in a market,this is the minority, as are arranged marriages,my friend recently had an arranged marriage,her family arranged the meeting with the boy,the got on, got to know eachother and go married,then my ffather had a pupil kidnapped and forced into an arranged marriage,then theres the other friend,he was forced into an arranged marriage, he met his wife after they were married and were then led to the bedroom by the family
all this stuff is in the monority
not all muslim men are violent nd oppressive,white and black men are just as guilty
why not judge a person for who they are and not their faith
 mofwtmy
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 140
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:27:48 PM
then my ffather had a pupil kidnapped and forced into an arranged marriage


Though this would place you in a quandry _ I do hope you have reported this criminal act to the relavent authorities. I assume the Police would take this very seriously.
 Ray67
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 141
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:39:09 PM

I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim


God damn that was lucky of you all I ever find I have relationships with are plan old humans
 AlmaM
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 142
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:34:44 AM
I have Muslim people among my friends.. and IMO there is nothing what would make these friends of mine more extreme than pe0ple of other religions.

There is a religion and there is abuse of religion as it suits one. It mostly depends on the education level of the religious person and I do not mean schools here..

As for Turkey: Turkey itself had a leader called Kemal Ataturk who changed women rights in period 1920s to 1930s establishing that women in Turkey have equal rights and opprtunities as men.


"With abiding faith in the vital importance of women in society, Atatürk launched many reforms to give Turkish women equal rights and opportunities. The new Civil Code, adopted in 1926, abolished polygamy and recognized the equal rights of women in divorce, custody, and inheritance. The entire educational system from the grade school to the university became coeducational.

Atatürk greatly admired the support that the national liberation struggle received from women and praised their many contributions: " In Turkish society, women have not lagged behind men in science, scholarship, and culture. Perhaps they have even gone further ahead." He gave women the same opportunities as men, including full political rights. In the mid-1930s, 18 women, among them a villager, were elected to the national parliament. Later, Turkey had the world's first women supreme court justice.

In all walks of life, Atatürk's Turkey has produced tens of thousands of well-educated women who participate in national life as doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, writers, administrators, executives, and creative artists..

http://www.ataturk.com/content/view/20/39/

So it seems the able women in Turkey in 1930s 'd had more rights that the able women of the City of London who were not allowed into gents clubs.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 143
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:58:06 AM
just been reading some of the posts on here esp those slagging off the muslims for treating women as second class citizens.
i cant help wondering. have any of you heard of emily pankhurst?
 bowie_fan86
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 144
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:16:18 AM
haha,did i ever say being a muslim didnt make you human?i think you are trying to find something that isnt there,or are you saying muslims arent plain old humans?
my father is muslim,i step mother is muslim,my sister is muslim, i choose not to follow the faith
do not even attempt to imply that i am predjudice at all
before you sink to those depraved depths atleast have a degree of knowledge about a person,i am very much insulted,is this forum merely a slanging match?? when someone has an opinion based on life experience you guys seem to through it back at them,ridiculous
u r unbeliveable and not in a good way
 sharpgeeza
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 145
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/8/2008 8:11:21 PM
saying I had a bad relationship with a Muslim, and generalising it to all Muslims, is like saying I had a relationship with some one who works at BT and had a bad experince, and generalising that experience to eeeeeeevvvvvverrrrrrrryyyyyyy person at BT.

But just to clarify, Muslims by definition are not supposed to be 'dating' in the standard sense of dating, so if Muslim is having relationships then they generally won't be following the rest of the religion which teaches about rights of different indivduals including their partner or woman/ men in general. Also these people would be more likely to get their views on treatment of people from culture and traditions, which are not rooted in Islam.

Islam does not teach that men are better then woman or that woman should be treated badly, or to oppress them in any way. If a woman is not given her rights by a man who is a Muslim then like with any other religion the source of this injustice would be from the man himself, and nothing to be attached to the religion.

Sorry the post isnt as good as it should be and how long it is, I am a kinda tired, but felt I had to post my little bit aswell.

If there are any other questions about Islam, I'd be more then happy to answer them, or if anyone believes other then what I have stated, feel free to chanllege me and in respectful decent manner! :)

Anywhoo im off 2 get back up on some

peoples!
 cosmopolitan71
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 146
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:14:57 PM
My partner is muslim & he is the first person in my my life that I've felt 100%comfortable with, trust & treats me like I'm the only woman on the planet & I don't mean in a controlling way, I mean in a loving way.
He had an arranged marriage a long time ago which didn't work out & his family are disgusted that he is getting divorced. They have told him that they will arrange another marriage for him but he has told them he is with me.
His family are now of the opinion that they are dead in his eyes & vice versa.
It's very sad in this day & age & going a bit off topic now.
I've not read all through this thread & everyones comments but answering the OP people are people, good & bad in any race, culture etc.
 babes43
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 147
I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:49:20 AM
smilinglaughing

they don't ill treat, just different way.

it is a different culture.

if it isn't the right for you, and you expect different behaviour, than you shouldn't date muslims.

understanding, respecting their religion and tolerance towards that is different than willingness to change your life because of that.

happy weekend!

wether its a different culture or not ,,what gives them the right to beat a woman,so reading the posts above you,,where women have had experiences with muslims who beat them and physically ,,mentally abuse them,,your quote is saying that because of the different culture people have to expect that,,well im sorry but my opinion is no matter what culture you are beating and abusing women is wrong,,muslims need to learn that what they are taught in there culture doesnt mean its right to do,,its not only muslims who abuse women,,all men who abuse should be punished severely,,but then again you cant call them a man if they abuse women so lets just call them animals who need caging up
 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 148
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:47:41 AM
Some say the Hijab takes away the persons individuality, some say it is a choice women make for respect. I can only comment from experience. In 2005 I lived in Egypt and didnt wear the Hijab for the first part of my stay. I was harrased and had my bottom pinched often. I was told that if I wore the Hijab when I went out then I would get respect. Hmmm so I am not deserving respect unless I wear Hijab. For my own personal safety and out of fear, I wore a Hijab for the rest of my stay. It was stinking hot and I hated it.
If only I had a $1 for every time I heard a muslim say "its the media putting Muslims in a bad light". Ummm dont think so for its the Muslims doing things that are getting the media attention and also to the one I used to be with, he put Muslims in a bad light all on his own by his lying, deceiving and theivery.
To the comments about Pakistanis, I would have to agree, mine would send hundreds of dollars to his family and leave me with nothing for food, bills etc.
For me, its the arrogance of it all that bothers me most. For people to shout loud and proud that they are the right ones and they are followers of Allah and only they will go to heaven then everytime they do something wrong/evil we are going to point a finger. Arent we? Just if someone shouts I am PERFECT in every way, we will notice they have a crooked nose LOL
 surreygal
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 149
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:57:57 AM
Hi Casandra

My dad use to do the same to my mother and they are both pakistanis. My dad use to send money back home every chance he got. My mum makes him suffer now though funny how times have changed.

I have been to turkey, tunisia and will be going to morocco soon. I do not wear a hijab and will not in any of these countries. I have had no issues when visiting these countries but ive got to say they do think im either turkish or tunisian so leave me alone. The travel agents have told me this is due to the fact that i am not blond with blue eyes. I do not agree with their behaviour infact i think it is vile. If i do not get respect from a man regardless of faith or culture i will show him the door.

To be a good muslim you need to be humble. To run around and tell people that you are perfect will not do you favours in gods eyes. As a muslim if i give money to charity i am suppose to keep it quiet. If i go around and tell everyone how brilliant i am for parting with my money the reward will be lost. There are alot of nations that are arrogant and im sure its worldwide.
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 150
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I had a relationship with someone who was a muslim
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:00:39 AM
know some muslims who would never consider marrying a christian, but use them for fun and practice as one put it

the hijab is a cultral thing and not required to become a muslim, not think much of the women who drive in them with a space for the eyes alone, very dangerous....
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