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 Author Thread: End the fun?
 esad

Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 24
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End the fun?
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:57:55 PM

You have a partner and enjoy great sex together. You can get along pretty well, but you know it's never going to be a marriage.


OP, you came here just to brag, didn't you ?
 hardcoredaydreamer

Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 25
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End the fun?
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:58:20 PM
depends what you're looking for. i have no intentions of getting married in the next decade (maybe more) so it wouldn't bother me at all. bring on the great sex and decent conversation!
 hardcoredaydreamer

Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 26
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End the fun?
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:59:08 PM
ps NEVER EVER end the fun! why would you?!
 brendawill

Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 27
End the fun?
Posted: 1/20/2008 5:07:41 PM
This reply was to waters

^^^I started the thread because I was wondering which way to go. I didn't intend to pick the guy apart. There are good points and bad points to everyone. However, I can't see me living with this person and am thinking it has to end. I'm just not sure how or when. I was wondering if it is "moral" or "fair" to either party to be in a relationship that I really didn't see growing to something stronger or permanent.


<div class="quote"> You have a partner and enjoy great sex together. You can get along pretty well, but you know it's never going to be a marriage. do you break it off? Or do you look for someone else and then break off. Both partners are having a good time now....does it make sense to split up just because marriage wont be the outcome?

 JWA

Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 28
End the fun?
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:48:47 AM

^^^I started the thread because I was wondering which way to go. I didn't intend to pick the guy apart. There are good points and bad points to everyone. However, I can't see me living with this person and am thinking it has to end. I'm just not sure how or when. I was wondering if it is "moral" or "fair" to either party to be in a relationship that I really didn't see growing to something stronger or permanent.


Sorry ma'am but this reply to your own OP really doesn't address anything----how is it wrong to enjoy yourself? Is this guy thinking there's more to all this---is it HE who is pressing you for more when you don't want that with him? I don't get it---what's the problem?

JT Waters might have had a good reply if it brings to light some inconsistency in your other postings here-----you might want to look at that before complaining about any reply you receive here.
 brendawill

Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 29
End the fun?
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:54:10 AM

Sorry ma'am but this reply to your own OP really doesn't address anything----how is it wrong to enjoy yourself? Is this guy thinking there's more to all this---is it HE who is pressing you for more when you don't want that with him? I don't get it---what's the problem?



JT Waters might have had a good reply if it brings to light some inconsistency in your other postings here-----you might want to look at that before complaining about any reply you receive here. .


My postings aren't inconsistent. I didnt want this to turn into a "whats wrong with her - whats wrong with him. He waivers back and forth - one day he thinks he sees us married the next day he wants to step back. I dont see me living in the same space as him.and I'm concerned with his going back and forth..It's that simple.

Yes, I told him - When he's not talking or hinting at living together I'm much more comfortable. I care for lots of people that I don't live with...It's that simple. Maybe I do feel pressured - sometimes. Plus, I cant tell if he wants something more. If he does, I don't want to be misleading...
 jtwaters

Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 30
End the fun?
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:06:24 AM

I started the thread because I was wondering which way to go. I didn't intend to pick the guy apart. There are good points and bad points to everyone. However, I can't see me living with this person and am thinking it has to end. I'm just not sure how or when. I was wondering if it is "moral" or "fair" to either party to be in a relationship that I really didn't see growing to something stronger or permanent.


I read you have valid concerns. This is normal. Maybe you shouldn't worry about it so much. The reason I pulled info. from another thread was to remind you of your own good advice to another.

Perhaps he does have BPD or he's intentionally giving you mixed signals to see how you respond towards him. Maybe this man really does care for you and sees a future with you but he pulls away when he doesn't feel the connection from you. Open honest communication may be your answer to all your inquires.

I don't know the entire story behind your dealings with this man so all I can do is guess and give my opinion like everyone else. Nonetheless, I do know that if you've been dating this one man for over 6 months and the 2 of you can't decide if you really desire to be together or not, (regardless of the great sex) then there is something wrong in this relationship and you shouldn't just settle with a man you have constant doubts about.

If what you have is a FWB then have the fun while it last because this will eventually play out with time. Don't fill your mind with "how" or "when"...just take one day at a time and let it run it's course. God forbid he ever becomes abusive with you for any reason. No concerns or questions there! This is when you would need to permanently remove him from your life.
 smd83

Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 31
End the fun?
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:51:30 AM
Well, is this an open relationship?
If you know you want marriage one day... then keep an eye open for a potential mate...Don't cheat.. but be aware of your own situation..

If sex is great and it's all good now then no need to break it off... He might come around and even if he doesn't have a good time now...
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