| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:37:11 PM |
1. Dating context:
* I liked their picture(s).
* I read their profile and they
(a) don't smoke,
(b) can spell, understand grammar and don't use text speak or too many irritating smilies ,
(c) live within a reasonable distance,
(d) appear to have some common or similar interests,
(e) meet whatever other criteria I'm using at the time.
2. Non-dating context:
* Something about them interests me or made me laugh.
3. They emailed me first:
* In my dreams!
This pretty much sums my thoughts up, I always read the profile before I contact anyone, any hit of illiteracy usually isn't a good sign. Text speak puts me off instantly.
But mainly it's to see if we have anything in common or if I roughly fit what they say they're looking for. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:04:32 PM | I find them physically attractive, I find them interesting and intellectual. If their profile makes me laugh or smile or just peaks my interest whether it be sharing a common interest, aspiration or similar experience.
Then finally I check to see if they are blind to improve my chances of a reply!!!!  | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:19:18 PM | i dont always reply when i recieve messages like.....
" hi gorgeous --- wanna chat "
" hi sexy beast "
" hi you sexy hunk of a man "
" hi --your fit "
nah the attention is good but it doesnt do much for me.
after a while those type of messages can get a little boring yawn when iam getting them most of the time. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:27:40 PM | The pictures are the first thing to look at then you reed the profile
if they are just boring then ill leave them if the pro makes me want to no more then i will message and ask!! x | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/23/2008 3:28:38 AM |
dont always reply when i recieve messages like.....
" hi gorgeous --- wanna chat "
" hi sexy beast "
" hi you sexy hunk of a man "
" hi --your fit "
nah the attention is good but it doesnt do much for me.
after a while those type of messages can get a little boring yawn when iam getting them most of the time
I know youre taking the piss but seriously it does get boring after a while, what happened to conversation!! | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/23/2008 3:44:07 AM |
do try and answer all my mails but i'd have been here for 24hrs straight over the weekend if i did it, why do men assume they deserve a reply? particularly if the message is rude or disrespectful and they think thats how to get our attention? by insulting? this isnt the playground you cant pull my pigtails and also.... just "hi" what am i supposed to say back? if you put some effort in, then I will....its not always as simple as it appears gentlemen. xxx
To date, no reasoned argument to support the idea that not replying % is an assessment of the person not replying/as opposed to it being an assessment of the senders with low replies.
A: Their profile doesn't create interest, creeps out the recipient, is too sparse to make any kind of impression at all, etc.
and/or
B: They don't read the profiles and understand them before sending first contact
and/or
C: Inappropriate/obtuse/boring/monosyllabic/etc - first contact message
and/or
D: Polite "no thanks" is met with either hostility, or: "Oh she was nice to me and replied, I'm going to send her another*
and/or
E - Z: The myriad and many reasons that the receiver of the first contact is NOT INTERESTED.
(the "not interested" part is pretty obvious)
Some women get 20 or 30 (AND MUCH MORE) messages a day, and there's only time to:
- Check the profile, THEN read the mail if they aren't repulsed for what ever reason after checking the bio and pics and reply to the ones that interest them. Keep in mind, an almost as common complaint as "no reply" is from women complaining about huge amounts of BS in their inboxes.
There's the other fact that a lot of guys get replies to most of their first contacts, probably by using a well thought out first contact message that takes into consideration; their ability to understand the intended recipient, yet another variable backed up by the popularity of the done to death topic "Do guys even read our profiles?"
A well written profile can even eliminate the need to be the one initiating contact (Always a good approach).
*Often, I'll even advise female users who ALWAYS reply - and their rejections, however polite - are often met with abuse or "didn't get the message"...?
Don't reply if you aren't interested, and "block sender" if they creep you out.
Further, I have never seen a female member start a thread about:
"Wow, most guys here send great messages"
Not one in all the years I've been here.
On the bright side, the points a -z above are all things that first contact senders have control over. BLAMING THE WOMEN WHO DON'T REPLY?
I'm reminded of Franklin's definition of insanity:
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
late™ | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:41:57 AM | i always read though profile ,makeing sure that im in what age they ask for ,i send an email which is fair tells them about me ,i also attache my pic ,i some times get a reply and most times its not even read and if it is its deleted without a reply even saying no thanks ,why do people do this ,they ask things you ive details as asked yet they just cant be bothered to reply to you ,not saying all dont just some do ,
well seems i best just keep looking lo,will i even suceed in my quest ?? | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:19:31 AM |
Of course , its a complete waste of time my doing so , because none of you ladies can ever be bothered to reply anyway, so thats for another thread
Thats not to say of course that no reply is an excuse for an insulting / abusive follow up - I certainly dont do that , and would not even consider it - life is just too short to waste with feelings of anger and annoyance - if you dont reply, you have your reasons, and thats cool with me : not everyone is for everyone 
I do feel a bit depressed though after I messaged someone , and they delete their profile .... | |
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dowzer
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Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 60 | |
| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:50:23 AM | | Sorry call me shallow but its the pic(s) that catch my eye - lets face it when you do a search its the pic you see, its the pic you base your first impression on in the same way as in "real life". Yes personality counts and the profile is important but someone could have a cracking profile but if their picture doesnt catch your eye in the first place then you arent likely to ever get reading their profile. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:52:39 AM |
oggers
I do feel a bit depressed though after I messaged someone , and they delete their profile ....
you too lol i thought i was the only one  | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:42:08 PM | Interesting profile, doesn't necessarily require a photo but if I think someone might have similar interests to me or might be the type of person I'd get on with, I always drop a message - provocative photos don't always make for the most attention-grabbing profiles, sometimes less is definitely more!
I understand the frustration at no-one responding to your messages, I'm there all the time, I don't think I'm weird, I think I've the potential to make a good partner for someone but maybe people just aren't very open minded. There was one girl I messaged a bit before Christmas after she initiated conversation. I suggested maybe drinks or just meeting up for coffee, nothing sinister, and the whole thing just went dead. Think it's probably best to leave that one. Shame. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:34:25 AM | I message people according to what they've typed on their profile and if they intrigue me.
Of course looks matter to a certain extent but personality comes foremost in my opinion. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:42:35 AM | "What makes you message someone on here?"
I try to use as a rule, "Mail if 'we' have something in common" that I have seen on their profile. Sometimes I break that rule though. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 1/25/2008 11:15:47 AM | sjs just taken my time to read this tread, then came to your reply "desperation" dont often laugh out loud at pc but that made me laugh.
When I look around here I see lots of girls so so far out of my leauge i just dont message them cause know will get "read deleted".
There is lots of lovely girls on here if i kinda think "they look good and sound nice" then i will message,
Or if we got something in common then i will message to.
but dont send many now 90% of the time just get "read deleted"
Saying that have talked to lovely girls on here. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:17:00 AM | | Just a little uptite. Relax a little and have fun with the process. What about a response like yea will you come skydiving with me need some help getting my cast out of the plane... | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 2:52:11 PM | It could be something in a pic that makes me msg but...
Its more likely to be a combination of a pic for the initial interest then something in the profile that stands out. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:07:18 PM | I dont think people do read profiles no.. I got pissed off with women adding me to their favs list but not bothering to message me... like "its a mans thing" to message first... bollox is it... equality and all that  anyway..
I put at the bottom of my profile in bold ...
"Ok, why do women add you to their favs list and then not message you? I mean.. you all wanted equality and now you got it so dont just add guys to ya favs and sit back and see if they contact you, try messaging them instead..you might get further "
and guess what... they still add me and dont message me  I leave them on there for a week and then remove them... does that make me a bad person lol
I actually read a persons profile first as it gives you an idea of what they are about and what they like.. shocking eh | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:14:30 PM | I look for women local to me. Then i look for common interests,if they are seperated/single/divorced. I look at their spelling..And then i look at their job..And sometimes feel that someone who has a great profile and all the rest that i like has a job thats way out of my league..
A good pic is nice too though.. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:20:34 PM | A few things, I'm not that bothered about what people do for a living, if they earn £10k or £100k its not going to make an awful person nice is it?
I think most times you can tell if someone has a decent personality and sense of humour from their profile, thats what I'm bothered about, after all that oh so stunning pic could be their mate. | |
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| What makes you message someone on here?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:33:08 PM | | I'm a bloke, and I like photography, so lets be honest - a picture, and a nicely taken one: some around here are awful pictures, and fuzed up or just of one small apart of the face, so I think - NO! I don't message anyone who doesn't have a pic, and no one who's in a state of undress - why do they do that? After that I read the profile (I note many woman actually write in their profiles - "don't message me unless you have read my profile"), and if there's something of interest/in common/a spark - then why not? | |
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