| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:14:15 PM | | I don't think she ever said she didn't call him. In fact I think she made it abundantly clear that she did call him, and he ignored her...thus the confusion about why he stopped returning the calls. | |
|
fotm
|
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 127 | |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:50:22 PM | Hi, im one of those guys who did the same thing to a woman. Let me explain, ok i was dating a woman from brooklyn things were going well we didn't have sex or anything just hanging out for about 3 months. then i met a younger woman from P.A. from the same town my dad lives in.I fell head over heals for the girl in P.A. The woman from brooklyn was so nice and sweet i didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her i met someone els so i just stoped calling. I was so dum for doing that. The young girl in P.A. didn't give a rats ass about me just my gifts and all that good stuff so after 4 month of getting shit on by this young girl i gave up. I should have stayed with the girl from brooklyn she was the kind of woman i should have married who would have loved me no matter what. I guess what im saying is sum guys are afraid of hurting people feelings.I was just a big chicken. But i got what i dissevered the girl in brooklyn has a good man now. The girl in P.A. is still using men for money, And im the one who is stuck lonely looking for a good woman. But you know what they say "you learn from your mistakes" And girl did i ever. So i hope my little story may help you a little. One more thing one day this guy will realize what the hell did i do. I know i sure did. Take it one day at a time and keep looking. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:29:34 AM | I t takes me 6 months or more get emitate with someone
What i been reading sounds like he used you get what he wanted i hate guys like that
Because it hurt another guys chance because she be to hurt to try again
I not very good typer or speller i figured i put my word in as well
Goodluck i hope you learn dont give to him right away when if i find my woman ill wait as well i want everything perfect between us so f it happneds it be special.
But far him let him go he wasnt worth it
jj | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:34:24 AM | Fotm: Your post took a lot of courage to admit to your mistake. I think your story/experience will help others understand why situations like this sometimes happen . Your honesty is appreciated, I'm sure. It seems you have learned your lesson and I wish you the very best on your search.
If anyone stops calling suddenly, take a look at the situation. Perhaps there was indeed some kind of emergency (medical, family, etc).
However, a person must follow thier "gut-instincts". If something is telling you that things are not adding up, I strongly advise that you find out exactly what the truth is and be brave enough to face it. You could save yourself a lot of heartache when you discover that truth. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:57:56 PM | Sometimes we just don't know why things happen....and that's okay... :) Just continue down your path. Did you learn something from the experience? We learn from every situation....
 Keep plugging away.... | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:38:40 PM | Going through the first 2 pages, I think msg #9 speaks the most logical common sense and reason.
Things change, feelings can change - it's not the scenario of the guy loving the hunt, getting the kill, feasting and moving on; it's the connection he tried to make wasn't returned to him be it initially or during the time spent, or it was returned too late - but that's speaking from personal experience.
There are men out there, as there are women, who play games, enjoy being on the prowl, are insincere with their words, etc.
And there are men out there, and women, who are sincere but didn't feel the same connection as the other person.
For some, it's fun while it lasted, for others, it hurts or frustrates like hell.
I think most of us have been on both sides.
Here's hoping the next one we each date is the last one :)
Hey - it's possible!
 | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:54:45 PM | | Peristent guys can be flattering. So, he contacted you, talked to you a lot, and showed a genuine interest. Then he stopped writing. But, you ignored him at the beginning, and now you're basically writing him off instead of putting your big girl skirt on and ask him why he hasn't called. What some ladies fail to realize is that, while a guy doesn't need to be "chased", it still feels good when a woman takes an interest, and is willing to go the extra distance sometimes. Afterall, your guy would, right? Write the guy, and find out what happened. It may not be what you think, so don't think negative! Good luck! | |
|
Älska
|
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 133 | |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/7/2008 4:43:00 AM | Same thing happened to me very recently. I'd been seeing a guy I'd met on here, had some really great time together and he was even talking of moving nearer to me but then after new year he stopped calling ( used the excuse that he'd lost his mobile  )
He's now reappeared under a new name on here, changed from looking for friends to long term. He even had the nerve to view my profile just to let me know he's around again. I messaged him to ask why he just dropped me for no ( apparent ) reason but he doesn't have the balls to answer. I feel foolish for thinking he was something special but now realise he's just an immature jerk and I deserve better.
Onwards and upwards for me ( again ) | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/9/2008 6:42:28 AM | | The real kicker is when their profile states "no head games" and then they pull "the houdini". Isn't that a head game of sorts???LOL. I believe like others it's just easier for them. Either it's not a good relationship or perhaps it's all going great and it scares them. Either way, one day they will realize it and it will be too late. Cut your losses and move on. Never take it to heart! | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/10/2008 2:41:09 PM | The reason I stop calling is merely that COMMUNICATION is a two way street. It’s not all up to me..it’s about US! A call gets you call. It takes two people to make something work.
It has nothing to do with another woman or outside interest coming into the equation at least as far as I am concerned. | |
|
| |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:46:49 PM | you stopped letting him chase you so it became "no fun" to him ... sad but true.
Men have difficulties with expressing this in the first place - and if I knew the resn why I would be a VERY rich woman ... in the lab as we speak but the worker monkeys aren't telling - lol | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/10/2008 6:18:10 PM | Have you read the book "He's just not that into you"?
Men stop calling because they are no longer interested in a relationship with you.
It doesn't matter why--could be a zillion reasons--it's over. They think it hurts less
not to share a reason.
I once had a guy call to say he had attended a "Men's Consciousness Raising Group"
he called to say a month ago when he said "I'll call you" he had no intention of calling. Now he realized that was not honest and so he called to say honestly he
wasn't going to call me again. Oh, thanks for explaining it....
Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea and they're not all barracudas. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:42:40 AM | You only knew him a month. You did not know what he was really like or his history with women. Some people are good at putting up a front and are two faced. He could of even sent you an email explaining why.
I met someone like this once years back so I know how you feel. All you can do really is put it down to experience. The important thing is not to wear you heart on your sleeve until you know the person is worthy and you can trust them. Dont, be too available. Learn to protect yourself more so you dont, get so hurt in the future, by someone who is basically acted like a sad two faced coward. Your too good for this sort of treatement. You come acrosss as an honest person. Dont let the bugger get you down it time to move on. life is too short. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:03:59 AM | | I AGREE WITH PLASTIC STURGEON. I NEED TO KNOW AND REALLY LOVE A MAN BEFORE I WOULD EVER SLEEP WITH HIM. HE IS PROBABLY JUST LOOKING FOR SEX AND NOTHING ELSE. FORGET HIM THERE ARE "PLENTY OF FISH" TO CHOOSE FROM. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:46:03 AM | This thread starts with:
.
"He contacted me first. I ignored his emails. He was persistent. I gave in and was glad I did. He is a wonderful man who is lots of fun and said all the right things...things he didn't have to say because I liked him from hello. My question is....after blowing up my cell phone, home phone and email here @ POF for a month....POOF! He has disappeared. I am not gonna chase him but I would like to know why men just cut off all contact? Why can't some men just put on their 'big boy' pants and be honest? If I am not what you were looking for why can't you men be honest? ... "
.
.... so you can see immediately that it was not a good relationship from day one. It started out on grounds of inequality - he chased, she "gave in". Caught, like prey to a hunter. In other words, her place was passive and reactive, like a fish caught on a hook who then wonders why the fisherman once he has hooked the fish just tries again with his baited hook and is no longer concerned with the one he has already caught.
.
When both parties grow up they will hopefully discover that each of them is a whole and complete human being with or without another person. Then when they discover each other they will meet as equals. Their relationship will then be built NOT on meeting a need but on satisfying a DESIRE - a very different thing.
.
I want people in my life who CHOOSE to be there, not answers to my need but enjoying me and letting me enjoy them entirely by free choice, not need.
.
When this person who started this thread looks on people as complete and free and independent individuals, and looks on herself as already complete and free and independent, then she won't even think of calling a thread "Why did he stop calling?". Instead she might then ask "Why do people stop calling each other?"
.
She says "I'm not gonna chase him ..." - yet she seems to think it's quite all right for him to chase her - Why? Is she a PERSON - or a prize to be won in a contest?
.
Women as bait and prizes and prey and males as predators and pursuers and wooers is dinosaur age stuff. In the 21st century each human being is unique and fully capable of productive and fulfilling relationships with others because each person is already O.K. and recognizes that others too are O.K. Face it, folks - Jane Austen is dead.
. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 2/11/2008 7:22:33 PM | It happens! I agree that a month is very soon to get intimate with someone buthey Im guilty of that too and look.. Im single too! I do think there is alot to be said for holding out and getin to know eachother and I do that no Im older!
Seems to me, and its only my thought that he got what he wanted and got bored and has moved on.
Your best to leave it and you also move on and learn from it! x | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:49:32 PM | | Read "All Men are Jerks, until proven otherwise". Excellent for ALL women. It is changing my perspectives.... | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/10/2008 12:54:56 AM | belejab is right.
"The reason I stop calling is merely that COMMUNICATION is a two way street. It’s not all up to me..it’s about US! A call gets you call. It takes two people to make something work."
Fifty years ago it was assumed that men make calls to women, women don't make calls to men.
That is Jurassic Age stuff now. If a woman is still living in that old fashioned way I would not waste time on her because if she sticks to one obsolete belief she probably has a lot more baggage like it and I don't need her in my life, there are plenty more modern women who will relate to me as my equal.
There was a time when a woman could not even walk on the street without a man at her side unless she wanted to risk being perceived as a prostitute. Then women got the vote and started towards being seen as persons, equal to men, and no longer staying home keeping the house tidy for him and making babies for him and cooking meals for her family and being content to sit quietly with folded hands letting him speak while she had no opinions of her own.
Anybody who wants to go back there is welcome but I will not go there. I prefer to live in the present.
"Why did he stop calling?"
Easy.
You didn't call him. | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:36:36 PM | | i really dont think you should be in any way let down by remarks about your intimacy with this man as you are a grown woman and it is your business what you do and i think in this day and age people shouldnt be so judgemental. as to the guy not calling well its an easy way out for them it is rare to have a man say what he feels because he didnt want to upset you so hey he ran | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:46:36 PM | | i was always taught from a male if he's not callin u then his doin something that interest him or doin someone else . give it up move on . charity | |
|
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:57:15 PM | | Yes I can relate to what you are mentioning men just cant be honest. I was out with this one guy one night and before that we kept talking on the phone and txting and emailing and all anyways we decided to meet one night at a nice lil restaurant and we had fun. He sent me a email saying he had funa nd we will meet again real soon. I also told him i had fun and looking forward to meeting again. Since then he doesnt answer the text alot of times, my emails get no replys, all the men have to do is to be honest and say either yes we will meet for sure or say sorry it just wont work. Why say things you dont mean, come on now men get with it. Maybe we should do this to the men and see how it goes. Anyways if the guy i was out with reads this then please do something be honest with me . | |
|
Home
login 
