| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:56:51 AM | Not sure its even the matter of honesty......Its the matter of maturity
GROW UP you so called men...be a man not a freaken mouse
Met a man from here for coffee , all he did was complain about never getting a second date from woman.....I mean the entire time we were together
Well he never called me again ...which wasnt a bad thing cause I would of had to tell him he was a DEPRESSING SON OF A GUN and would rather spend time in a funeral home than met him again. And yes I also hope he reads this  | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:36:54 AM | Obviously there's a problem here. She speaks of his "getting (sic) a second date" as if a "date" is something he "gets" from her. An accomplishment rather than a mutual agreement arrived at by both.
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If any woman thinks she is a prize to be won or a trophy to be hunted and captured then I wouldn't waste my time on her. I like women who are secure, whole, and confident, and choose to encounter others as their equal.
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Then she goes on to say "he never called me again." Funny thing but I don't remember the legislature passing the law that says he calls her but she doesn't call him. Did she ever try calling? If it was all one-sided then it never was a healthy relationship.
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The reference to his "getting a date" is absurd. If two or more people choose to meet socially that isn't a prize won by anybody; it's just an agreement to meet to share some time together.
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She is probably justified in calling him names. But what is cowardly and even dishonest is her failure to tell him face to face what instead she just posts here, hoping he will read it. Surely he is a big boy capable of hearing her. If not, and he chooses to take offense then she is better off to see him disappear. She is insulting him by assuming that he is too tender to withstand hearing her disapproval. Hey, sister, he's probably a big boy now - so treat him like an adult, your equal, not as a delicate child who needs to be protected from reality. Quit playing "mother," otherwise the only men you meet will be children who need mothers.
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:44:08 AM | | First i am sorry this happened to you. But you just have to forget him and move on. Trust me there is somebody better for you out there. I have been on this site off and on for about 3 years now and i have meet some wierdos and some i wish i never had met. So anyway sweetie dont let 1 guy ruin your life. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:01:27 AM | i quit calling all the time.
mainly because if it's not mind blowing, it's not worth it.
everyone has neurotic issues that make them react when pushed.
maybe he had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon...
however -
to ALL the idiots that are on and on about given it up too soon.
it's 2008.
if men can have sex on the first date so can women.
playen by the rules is so last year.
FYI - women have needs too. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:12:46 AM | i see soooo many problems with the way you treated him: first you ignored his first e-mails -which shows no ambition or interest in him. that sends the signals you didn't care that much in the first place or you had other irons in the fire. he cut his losses and gave up on you. probibly found a gal who was more receptive and jumped at the chance of meeting him, not expecting him to win her affection.
internet dating isn't the old fashioned type of dating, the guy will not pine for you forever or stand below your window and sing endless love songs until you let down your hair and invite him in. if you don't reply or show interest -hes movin on. since there are hundreds of other women at his keyboard waiting to give him common courtesy. -so who needs to put on the big boy pants here? | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:22:21 AM | wow talk about a lot of stabs in the dark..
and i do mean stabs and drivebys and out right lynchings..
maybe he wanted to see if you cared enough to chase him after he spent a month chasing you..
you did not care enough to make an effort to chase him
he may of thought you were not serious or even cared.
women are not the only gender that want to feel like the center of the universe..
just the only ones that require it.
legion.
(ill burn for that comment. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:36:14 AM | | myself, I'm new on this sight , have e-mailed some ladies , bleeped them on line and get no replies. why does the guy have to make the first move anyway's. If a lady doesent reply to me after several tries I feel offended, cause I really am a sincere guy . They make me feel like I'm a stalker . I'm, farthest thing from a stalker. The only date I,ve had so far I was stood up . Then she wonder why I upset . | |
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HBboy
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Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 159 | |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:47:00 AM | Yours is a good point, but I dont really agree with it when it comes to men! Of course this is just my opinion and I'm sure it doesnt go for all men. But I do find it to be true with many women. If a man gives them lots of attention, there's just no challenge for them but once it stops, thats when they seem to be interested in him!
From my perspective (someone who attempts to be honest and upfront right from the start about my intentions for being here, which is to actually MEET someone that I can possibly have a good relationship with) a guy would just simply like to know right from the start if youre interested or not! If not,...thats totally cool,..just say so!
I do agree with your second paragraph but I can say that I do respond to EACH and EVERY message I get, even the ones from those I'm not attracted to, if for nothing else just out of courtesy or to say, 'thanks for the message/compliments (whatever) but I just dont think we're a match!" I think its just common courtesy and karma!
Men (for the most part) really arent as conniving, complicated or well thought out for that matter as women tend to think we are. Sure, there are the hottie, model looking guys who just have women throwing themselves at them all the time and they become jaded and learn how to use that to their advantage. But most men are just really simple and straight forward and would prefer women to be the same!
Whatever the case is here...I do agree with you that she should just forget about him and move on! I see posts that are similar to this one, quite a bit and if they are dealing with someone who is playing games or just narcissistic, they're only feeding the egos of those types of people by posting stuff like this or by chasing after them asking "why? why?"
Its best just not to acknowledge them at all and just move on and it does wonders for your confidence and self esteem too!
Just my 2 cents!  | |
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HBboy
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Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 160 | |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:03:55 PM | You do have some good points but I wouldnt generalize by saying that 'Males are attracted initially based on visuals' but rather...'some people are attracted initially based on visuals' which can be demonstrated very easily by asking:
How many men have sent messages to women only to look in your sent messages folder to find that the message was 'unread deleted'? I would bet there's a ton! So I think its more realistic to say 'some people' rather than just 'men'
Also, I think if women are finding that some men are losing interest after they meet the women in person thats a pretty normal reaction, dontcha think? I mean, one can only convey so much about themselves online right? I'm sure many women lose interest after meeting the guy face to face as well. Meeting someone face to face is a true indicator of whether there is an attraction. But if a guy goes as far as to get sexually involved with a women, then just leaves...(first of all he's an ass but also) it might be that the women are just not picking the quality guys!
Anway, hope you dont think I'm picking on you,..I just find your opinions more interesting than most, thats all! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:17:09 PM | All I can say is it's a man thing, not all, but some walk away with their tail between their legs.
I would say paranoia, after they make you fall in love, they are afraid of the 4 letter word. "LOVE" | |
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HBboy
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Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 162 | |
| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:21:16 PM | Hello!
I would STRONGLY DISCOURAGE anyone from going out to buy this book or David DeAngelos book or any other of the myriad of books out there by so-called 'relationship experts'! Mostly because, so many of the authors are single for one (???) but really because from what I've seen (and I've read a lot of them)..they're about manipulation, deception, and trying to work your way into something!! Using many of the techniques they teach do work, but then eventually, your true personality comes through anyway. On top of that, they all have one primary common denominator behind them- they are trying to make money by selling as many books as they can! Dont get me wrong, I have no problem with people earning money from what they do. But as a single person, why not focus more on improving yourself as a human and being happy with yourself, then (cheesy as it may sound) good things will gravitate to you!
I've seen so many books coming out about this over the last few years because its a money making industry:
A new book comes out telling women how men think and feel about todays dating world and how to react to them, then another comes out to counter that telling men how women think based on what theyre learning from such and such book and here's how to act to counter that and so on, and so on......
Just be yourself and work and becoming a better person...for yourself! Then find someone who is happy and accepting of that! Doesnt that sound like so much more fun??
Lastly, I dont even see revenge as being a healthy solution..in any form! If revenge is what youre looking for, then you may not be in the best state of mind and emotional health to be dating anyway! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:28:12 PM | Another male perspective.
Women: We are alike in the important things like feeling wanted and needed. 
 I might not call you back to berate you more for following your 'prescription' drug plan (like maybe you're stoned all the time) or you spend a lot of time at the male neighbors house helping out after his messy divorce, or to suggest to you that you aren't perfect in every way. I will let you know that WE'RE not working.
And as far as your relationship with this guy is concerned, I think you are much farther ahead now by learning the guy doesn't call when he's got other plans, than to marry him and find out he doesn't call or want to come home to you because the pub is more fun.
Expectations play poorly in relationships - at least mine do.
If I've driven to the next/across town to see you, then ('I expect' - :) A). You'll be there; B). You might pick up the house/wash the dishes/lay in a snack/make me feel like I'm not one of your old fishin' buddies stoppin' for a beer; C). Let me feel like that dip/cake/roast beef sandwich  was thought of ahead time with me in mind (even if it wasn't). Lie 
One of us EXPECTS that if you enjoy my company then maybe you won't act/behave/persist in continuing to do something that we've let you know bothers us. Although a month seems a little short a time to form conclusions, in my own case, if I'm under the impression that I'm not more special than the next John out there or that we're interchangeable, I may say: Why bother?  I may find something else to do. 
Lets try to be a little more specific; Is your cell-phone on and are you available to chat  to anyone while you're in my company (Why not say 'can I call you back?'. Do you wander off while you're walking together  , because you see something more interesting? Is your dog more important than I am (esp., is it yapping all the time  or does it get as much space in the bed as I do?).
If I've gone out of my way in thought, comment or deed to show you that you are special, do you leave me with the impression that its what you deserve or maybe you don't reciprocate. Try not to tell me how and under what conditions we will see each other: You'll love my: God, church, children, vegetarian diet, python etc, or you can't love me.
If I've got dirty dog smell all over me from sitting in his chair at your home, try not to be to hard on me if there's a hint of tobacco on me. There is plenty of time later on to try to 'help' each other straighten out their lives. But I know that I'm not going to call you back to complain what a w **** you are acting like (sometimes spelled with a b). I will keep in touch (if that's what you want) and let you know that WE just aren't an item right now. Maybe later. & xx's | |
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gotone
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Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 166 | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:39:22 PM | | Silly gooses...energy moves, things change...it isn't personal javascript:smilie('') | |
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gotone
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Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 168 | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:39:37 PM | The reason is this: he needed a REST ROOM.
I asked him and he told me that himself! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 3/11/2008 1:20:13 PM | | fra59e I hope your remarks were not intended for me..... maybe you should of read my post a little closer and realized it was his issues NOT MINE | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 11:19:34 AM | | By far the best books are: For women, it is "Getting to I do." And for men, it's "Getting to I don't." The latter is not quite out at the book store. Very soon. By Dr. Patricia Allen. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:07:09 PM | | hey read ur statement and I find that most men in general are like that. It totally mystifies me and I can never understand it. But like the others said, he may have been attached?? Bad accident?? Or maybe just being a little boy no a man which is the probable case...!! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:13:27 PM | his lost, the reasons could be many, maybe someone else gave him more, maybe he went to jail who knows ? who cares, jus dont take his call if he does  | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:46:49 PM |
I wonder whether we'll even get any men to give us any answers as to why they do it. It would sure be helpful for us gals to know.
I think men have been giving the answer repeatedly.
Usualy because he decides it isn't going to work.
Either he just didn't feel like the total package was a good fit, he felt that he would hold off because he felt he could do better or he found some one else he liked better. Or he didn't get sex, enough sex or the sex wasn't good enough.
Those are all reasons why a guy will break off a relationship.
Now honestly which one of those do you want to hear?
Do really think a guy wants to tell some one he had feelings for one of those things?
It is just easier to put it in a box and walk away.
There now I answered. The question is will I be thanked for answering honestly or vilified and attacked because it isn't what some people wanted to hear.
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