| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:56:52 PM |
Why can't some men just put on their 'big boy' pants and be honest? If I am not what you were looking for why can't you men be honest?
Of course, women are always honest. Honey, grow up. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 4:11:22 PM | cripes.... heres a thought
put on yer big girl panties and ask HIM.
there are just way too many post by women asking why men do this or that TO them... its disheartening. For the most part we train people how to treat us... by how we treat them & others & how we ALLOW them to treat us.
maybe he stopped calling to avoid a confrontation, and it worked... you are here asking US why rather than asking him. so the next time he is in the same position with anther woman, he will do the same thing to her...because you've shown him that it works.
taking personal responsibility, rather than being a poor me confused victim.. you might want to give it a try.
oops..that was a little harsh huh? yeah well...'bout time someone took off the gloves. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:09:44 PM | | You know , out of all the people that replied back to your statement not one said he could be in jail or got hurt and etc. He might not be able to contact anyone.Such negtive reponses.But ,I am still sorry for your problem, I wish you the best!!! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:37:08 PM | | ... wow, i don't wanna come off as a**** but there is no other way to put this. What did you expect. you ignored him... but he some how stayed persistant. i'm supprised he did. now you say you like him but by the "blowing up your cell phone" comment its saying you didn't answer his calls. well guess what, if you ignore a guy and he just met you he has just made the deciscion that you're not worth the effort. i know you may have been trying to play the whole "hard to get" game, but something that is hard to get is rarely gotten. if you're lucky, you may be able to call him and he may answer and all things fine if he hasn't given up on you. future note, don't expect guys that aren't just following their penis's around to invest time in you.... or better yet don't expect any guy who is this great to fall in your lap fora loooonnngggg time | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:23:44 PM | livininserenity: your posts are the 2 best I've ever read. I agree 100% with your assessment. Moreover, you're well-reasoned, bright and have a lot of common sense. These games are ridiculous. The only thing I can say in favor of "games" is sometimes when 2 parties first start dating, if too much is said too soon (by either party), the effect is the tension and mystery that hold a very early dating scenario together are lost.
Well, I'd love to post all night, but I brought work home tonight, so as much I want to procrastinate, it's time to be productive.
Cheers! | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:32:41 PM | | Could also be possible that there was an accident of some type, just can't automatically assume that he is some "jerk". Sometimes there is truly legit stuff that does happen. Though don't be one of those people that always quick to judge people negative like that and play the victim of life drama. Often things may not be as they appear... | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:38:40 PM |
I wonder whether we'll even get any men to give us any answers as to why they do it. It would sure be helpful for us gals to know.
I think men have been giving the answer repeatedly.
Usualy because he decides it isn't going to work.
Either he just didn't feel like the total package was a good fit, he felt that he would hold off because he felt he could do better or he found some one else he liked better. Or he didn't get sex, enough sex or the sex wasn't good enough.
Those are all reasons why a guy will break off a relationship.
Now honestly which one of those do you want to hear?
Do really think a guy wants to tell some one he had feelings for one of those things?
It is just easier to put it in a box and walk away.
There now I answered. The question is will I be thanked for answering honestly or vilified and attacked because it isn't what some people wanted to hear.
Well I do have to agree there. Many people do talk so much about wanting "honesty" in a realtionship, yet unwilling to actually hear it when it's spoken. Most just want someone to put on a fake smile and lie to them all the while they are giving their relationship "honesty" speeches. Yet relationships in my opinion should be more than just sex. Not all guys are just after sex, and there are plenty of females who just want sex as much as the guys do. So don't pretend there aren't... It has to be total package because even if it is the "best" sex in the world, yet you can't stand to be in the same room with them, what kind of person wants to truly be with someone like that in a serious relationship... | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:16:35 PM | | Maybe has kids, a crazy ex-wife that is trying to get back with him. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 7:21:00 AM | You go girl.... I had the same thing happen to me on here and like you said I'm not gonna chase him. I still send e-mail once in a while just to ask to see how they are doing. No response back. But they read it and don't delete them. What's up with that???
I have thought over and over the same as you. Why can't some men just put on their 'big boy' pants and be honest? If I am not what you were looking for why can't you men be honest? Some just tells you want they thing you want to hear and goes out with ya after they sucker you in and then drop you. Come on now. If we where good enough to talk to you all that time and finally meet ya and you act like everything is good between us.
Then no more e-mail's., no more calls. They must be putting there pants on backward or something. rotfl. It's like this sweetie . [B] IT'S THERE LOST NOT OUR'S. There are a lot of good men in this world but one like this makes it bad on them.
Hold your head up high and move on. Life to short not to have fun. Good luck sweetie
 Best of luck....... and finding a true one
Some only on here for a one night stand. There profile don't say it. But I have found it out in the long run and it still goes back to your question:: Why can't some men just put on their 'big boy' pants and be honest? If I am not what you were looking for why can't you men be honest? [B] ( WHY CAN'T THEY BE HONEST AND TELL US!) | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:50:25 AM | Kazot:
Sorry I did not see your reply earlier...I haven't been here lately. But, your answer makes it clear to me that men have a "different way" of "answering", I guess. To me, your "explanations" were just that....and, although they can be very true, they are obviously "after the fact", and are in no way helpful while the lady is wondering.
I don't want to belabor the matter......I'm as capable of "getting it" as many of the others are. I have another question, though.....Do you have a time frame when we should come to the realization that "he's given us our answer" by not answering? Truly, I think you're smart enough to know that an answer is an answer, not the lack of one, for an indeterminate amount of time. I may not like the "answer" I hear, but I'm mature enough to recognize a man who is mature enough to "answer" and I prefer that, than the man who disappears, leaving me to figure out when to wonder.
Just my thoughts....
Knittin Kitten | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:48:05 PM | canam miles, of everything on here, I appreciate what you've posted most, gives me alot to think about. I had someone contact me for awhile through emails and at his shop. Friendly, but he started asking to see me, I didn't respond for awhile not because I was not interested, I definitely was attracted, but more out of fear and not sure what he was expecting. I didn't look at it as hot/cold or playing headgames, certainly didn't intend that.
We did go out and after the first evening I got scared as he was extremely "wonderful" - said all the right things ect. The "too good too be true" idea was pounding in my head. Didn't see/talk to him for a few weeks, he continued to ask to see me. It was after this time that I thought maybe he was real. We are now seeing each other and sometimes I feel him being a little hot/cold and wasn' t sure what to think.
Your input has helped alot - THANKYOU. Question - so how should I let him know I am not playing games w/o being clingy or pushy ect? | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:36:48 PM | | Look, I run into this all of the time, I get tired of the one sided interest, If you won't call or contact after we have expressed interest, As far as I'm concerned your not interested, I move on. We're all adults here, At least I think.....Ladies if he goes to the trouble trying to get your attention and you think he's a catch, But you play hard to get, Guess what, I'm too busy working and scratching my way along to play along.............................And if I call, I expect one in return, If you don't, Your not interested, I move on | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:39:22 PM | sweetjemgirl
I tried to send you a private message but your restrictions do not allow for people from my country to access you. Message me and I will tell you what I think. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:41:09 PM | | this threads like 5 months old, is it not safe to say that any advice given now may be too late for the OP? | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:43:51 PM | Been there , done that. Happen to a lot of us. For me it was a Reality Check, big time. After 6 mos, and he wanted honesty and integrity, and someone comfortable in their own skin. Well, he got that and more. Then dropped off the face of the earth, for a guy who said worked 16 hours a day, and hated computer talk or MSN, he's on a lot now!
It smarted at first and he wouldn't reply, the only reply I got from him is when I emailed him and told him I'd meet him on POF> He thought that was a horrible message to receive. Excuse me, if I don't flick your bic, say so, I'm a big girl, not a tot.
The way I look at it now, is someone out there will love me for all of me, not just part of me. Plus, he has cancer, and he thanked me so much for all my support, now I wonder if that was even true. Couldn't find him on Google either.
He wasn't whom I thought he was, and neither was your fellow. Move on, they are cowards to me, if they don't have at least the integrity to fess up. But, remember, what goes round comes round. Next time be sure not to let your guard down, for some time untill you are sure, however long that takes.
And I should have listened to my own gut, If it seems to good to be true, then it usually is!
I wish you all the luck in your next experience! Learn from this one.
Lm Seth. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:47:19 PM | | Thinking he got what he wanted and moved onwards to another woman, some men just love the chase and then get bored. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:01:03 PM | You know at some point you just start to say to yourself that "men just suck" . I know its not the answer your looking for, but we (as women) have all had this happen to them. I was different then you, I chased him, pinned him down and made him tell me why he called and called and then just went away. He admitted that he played me, point blank. Since then, over the past year I've stayed in contact with him (he calls it stalking.LOL) and he has gone through five women, in one year! These are the ones he has told me about, I imagine there are plenty more. So all of these women experienced the exact same thing you did and I did, I dont know about you but my ego is bruised and thats why I can't let go. He has a new girl now, wondering how long that will last? In between he calls me, they always come back, for sex. Then they are gone again.
Its best to just stay away, but also takes alot of will power. I turned him down last time and I am so proud of myself, never again will I allow him to hurt me. They play mean, heartless games. We don't play the games its them. They chase us, make us fall in love with them and then just drop us like a piece of trash. Thats why its so hard to move on to the next one. I just want one man to love me, and me to love him and most women I talk to want the same thing, But men they want everyone...different one all the time. They get sick of the same thing all the time. Like I said "men suck" | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:07:26 PM | | Id have to say that men in general like the thrill of the chase.If you had sex with him early on he was most likely satisfied and lost interest if he wasnt serious in the begining. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:21:49 PM | Hey Mimit you also need to take a look at why you let him use you for sex.Did you think that would keep him close.You are stalking or obsessed.Dont give up on men in general just let this guy go.Older men know how to treat a lady you know. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:16:55 PM | | I have found that it is the older men who like to play the women. Many were married for a long time, now have discovered that there are so available many women that they feel as if they are in a candy store, but the candy store mentality does not appeal to women who know their game. They might like the chocolate covered caramel, but there is a choc0late covered cashew that is surely better, but wait, the one over there looks even better. I will have to try all of them and be nice to them although i am always seeking something better, but always need to have many on a back burner. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 7:28:17 PM | | Well sometimes if a guy pursues too much without any results or positive feedback from the woman he will just cut his losses and move on. Some women think we can read minds, we can't. Maybe he just didn't read your signals. If you like him you should call him. What's the harm. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:34:25 PM | I can't believe that this guy is for real:
...........................................................
WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:07:26 PM
Id have to say that men in general like the thrill of the chase. .............
Posted: 6/14/2008 3 49 PM
...............Older men know how to treat a lady you know.
............................................................
*checks calendar* Yes, it really is 2008.
Is this poster living in some kind of a time warp? Or living in the Bible Belt? I thought that "thrill of the chase" stuff went out in grandpa's time along with buggy whips and Burma Shave.
Then there's this "know how to treat a lady" - good heavens, that phrase sounds like something out of a Jane Austen novel from 200 years ago.
Surely in 2008 we know that each person is an individual and worthy of our respect and being treated accordingly and you will notice I did NOT make any gender-specific reference there.
If men and women treat each other as independent intelligent human beings capable of making decisions and taking responsibility, won't we all be better off?
"Thrill of the chase" - pshaw. If any woman expects me to "chase" her I will just move on. Fast. If she treats me as her equal and expects me to treat her as my equal then the chances are we will get along. "Chasing" is for hunters. I am not a hunter of women, I am a lover of women. Any time I want to "chase" I will go hunt deer in Idaho. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:49:32 PM | some men are afraid to COMMIT, Cant accept the truth that they can feel something for someone else other than the one who's hurt them before. That not all of us women are the same & Vice versa.
I have gone through this a million times myself but what I tell myself; THERE IS A LOT OF FISH IN THE SEA. Sometimes they can be busy. Have personal stuff they need to deal with on their own. There are a lot of excuses to name a few.
But trust me dear, you shouldn't feel that its your fault that he hasn't called back. Maybe he met someone else but cant tell you the truth about it bec maybe he felt something for u as well.
*My ex fiancee, when we split up he emailed me to call the engagement off. When I finally got a hold of him- he came out clean that he has been cheating on me with the previous girl he met prior to me so then it was easy to BREAK it off with him the 2nd time bec I felt the impowerment that he wasnt worth the time or day. | |
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| WHY DID HE STOP CALLING?
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:37:11 PM |
As the only male yet to respond I have a question. Why does her opening statement of ' I ignored his e-mails" not give the impression that she very possibly played the hot cold game with tis man and turned him off? Everyone constantly states that they do not want game players yet this is obviously at least a part of the scenario here. ROFL!!
She did say that at first she wasnt interested, also on the side note this has happened a few times to me before:
That after starting to get to know someone and you get a bit more into eachother theres a chance the person hasnt recovered from a bad breakup or a bad past, It causes a natural fear twords relationships and getting hurt again.
Its possible the guy had this, but it is also possible he may have been married and was caught. If thats the case he got what he deserved and you must move on. | |
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