| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:46:06 PM | | Pretty much every time I try to cook. Which is why I pretty much live on take aways since my ex moved out. I remember once thinking I could make prawn coktail by putting prawns, tomato ketchup, and mayonnaise into a pot, and stirring it until the tomato ketchup turned pink. Well at least the bin was well fed that night :-) | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:49:46 PM | To make the caramel to go with sautéed bananas I recommend using sugar, just doesn't work with salt!
I now have very different containers for those ingredients! | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 2:04:12 PM | yeah ive had a few dumb moments in the kitchen
when i first left home i didnt have a cooker, so i tried to cook soup in a kettle,i filled the kettle up with water taped down the on button then dropped in the tin of soup, i then forgot all about it until about an hour later when the tin exploded with it my kettle and ended up with tomato soup covering my entire kitchen,i dont recommend anyone else try this.
god what was i thinking. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 2:20:26 PM | Yup. In my final year as an undergrad student I got a really bad cold around November time, so I decided I'd make a really nice meal to cheer myself up - home-made pasta bolognaise with loads of garlic (to shift the cold and any vampires or women that might have otherwise attached themselves to my neck). Now when it comes to cooking, I'm something of a Keith Floyd style chef - any recipe, even the worst, can be improved if you add liberal amounts of alcohol. And I usually do.
This particular night, however, I probably added too much wine to the sauce. Very tasty (justa lika mama used to make in old Napoli, molto bene) and I still had half a bottle left to enjoy when I sat down with my meal to enjoy whatever was on TV, probably Hollyoaks. But when the sauce was added to the pasta it was just too watery, my pasta was drowning. In an attempt to drain the mixture, I took it to the sink and tried to allow the liquid to run off. It did. Unfortunately, so did everything that was on the plate. Right into our dirty student sink that hadn't been cleaned since the last time I'd cleaned it approximately a month before. I'm not by nature an angry or violent person but I did on this occasion let rip and turned the air blue.
Half an hour later I was to be found on the sofa, sobbing slightly, munching without any satisfaction on a takeaway burger from a fast food place round the corner, its awful taste only mitigated by the wine I'd kept back and some extra alcohol I'd bough to soothe my misery  | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:11:08 PM | | not any thing bad really but i wanted a cabbage for sunday lunch last weekend ... my 20 year old son said he would get a cabbage for me at the shop .I waited for ages then in HE came with what i thought was a cabbage guess what /he had bought me a lettuce ...Seems he thought they are the same thing .......... | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:45:56 PM | oh yeah, i remember a hamburger stew i'd made yrs ago when i was pregnant with my eldest..i had a few members of my family over at the time.
i had let it simmer for the better part of the day and allowed it to cool.when i reheated it up (it was in a large roasting pan) a god awful smell came from it..it wasn't sticking but for some reason smelt like smoke..anyway, i dished it up for everyone and they all tasted it..my dad was trying to be nice and said it was good..well i took one bite and ran out of the room crying..everyone was shocked..a few mins later i came back angry and upset and told everyone it was horrible and immediately grabbed the plates away from them and threw it out..you see i had this crazy hormone thing happening with my pregnancey which i'm sure many women have experienced..laughter one minute and tears the next...we ended up with kentucky fried chicken that night! | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:50:15 PM | A friend and I spent three weeks in an old two story old farm house....no running water, no electric...and just a small wood stove to cook and heat the house... after three days the house started to warm up, the dampnes has gone and we could open the trap door to heat IT up !!!...fortunatley when we arrived I had found all the ouside double windows which we quickly secured while standing in a foot of snow... we were about 200 miles from Montreal in the laurentian mountains....1300 ft altitude... a tobbogan and snowshoes brought us in through the deep snow on the other side of the mountain.....
The cottage with its green painted cheery hard wood floors was truly comfortable...except for having to get pails of drinking water , dishes and bathing..we were fine ....the small wood stove was really a dream !!!.....because the temperature went down to 55 blow zero at night ,...with wind and wolves howling.... and up during the day with the sun out to about 35 below.....
All the steaks were cooked directly ontop of the iron stove top.....potatoes on the wood coals in the fire box... at night with only two keroseen lamps, we used a large steel cloths washing basin on the stove to keep the water hot ,,,,my friend not looking grabs the plastic dish soap bottle and squeezes out a glob of what he thought was soap... there was enough light in the room to see I was`nt making any headway polishing the glasses...then it dawned on me ,.....it was kooking oil !!...the bottles were so alike under the kitchen counter ....   | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:08:20 PM | | I came back from a night on the tiles,well oiled and decided to make a burger sandwich.Woke up next morning to find the paper which the bugers are wrapped in had been put in the washing machine,the sandwich was stuck to the coffee table,uneaten. Somehow i had managed to turn the gas off but i had put the frying pan in the oven,luckily it wasn't switched on. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:52:51 PM | Warning:- To be used for extreme stalkers/violent offenders only.
Guaranteed to rid you of the most troublesome vermin when all other methods have failed
Girls, if there's anyone out there you really, really hate let me give you some of my lasagne to reheat and serve to them. I promise they will never ever trouble you again - it's foolproof pesticide. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:52:27 AM | Yeah,
The main oven in the kitchen is fraught with dangers - somehow somewhen it's managed to get to the point where if you heat it over 180 degrees it smokes - badly even had it professionally cleaned but still no luck...
Then if you're in a hurry and read instructions and forget you have a fan oven and need to reduce the cooking time or preferrably the temperature (luckily given the above)...
So lat weekend making a chocolate fudge cake for the ex's lads 16th the first baking turned into trail bread - perfect - one look will remove all traces of hunger.. actually once you broke into it (using hammer) the insides were lovely... it didn't help that I trusted the buzzer and was watching touring cars on ITV...
Second time was the charm.... drop temp by 20degrees - perfect...
SImes. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:39:34 PM | Last year my kids and I went to pizza hut and had doritoes with melted cheese and all the trimmings. The kids loved it so much I thought I make it for them.
Of I went got a bag of Doritoes and cheese. Put the doritoes on a plate and grated the cheese on top. Put the hole lot on the top shelf of the oven and stood back.
5 min. later my son comes running into the living room telling me the oven is on fire. Smart arse me thought, oh well shut the door and the flames will die. Nope, forgot about the ventilation slots at the back of it. By that time i had flames coming out of the back of the oven. Finaly pulled the plug out of the wall (yup cable and all) and threw a bucked of water on it. (Yes I know, I should not have done that either) Killed the fire tho.
The moral of the story is doritoes catch fire if you put them in the oven, use the microwave instead. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:47:57 PM | My ex was a lousy cook...... his worst effort was sausages and fish fingers boiled together in a pan...... the fish fingers dissintergrated and stuck to the sausages...... ICK....... i just couldn't eat it !!!
Nicki x | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 4/3/2008 1:30:46 PM | | In my early 30s, with my then girlfriend out of town, I tried to cook an egg in a microwave, only to see it explode with an almighty bang. (I think this post will kill off what little chance I have of meeting a woman on here now...) | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:26:32 PM | | Cooking disasters, hmm, I did put some corn on the cob on the barbecue too early and they just went black, not quite the caramelised that tastes good.! | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:32:18 PM | I remember being in a rush one evening, the day before starting a big new contract job. I've never been a great cook, but can get by. However, this night I overlooked the cooking instructions a bit and clearly did something wrong. I had the worst case of food poisoning I've ever had.
Needless to say the next day it was as much as I could do to ring in sick, on my first day!!!! The rest of which was spent firmly entrenched in the bathroom. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:33:59 PM | 925dancer wrote:
Cooking disasters, hmm, I did put some corn on the cob on the barbecue too early and they just went black, not quite the caramelised that tastes good.!
de ja vu - i've read that somewhere else. | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:40:08 PM | | Dont ask me to make pancakes...I always burn the first one...thankfully we dont bother making them here now -thats what I call a lucky escape.... | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:27:00 AM | Went for a quickie once many years ago on a sunday morning, and forgot the spuds were on to boil before roasting.
totally forgot about them!
until the smell of burning metal filtered into the bedroom.
ewwww
then............ ooooo nooooo my sabatier pans!!!!!! they cost a bloody fortune!! | |
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| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:02:05 AM | | When my mum and sister used to go on holiday they left my dad and I with quick ready meals just stick them in the microwave and hey presto. Well the cooking was the easy bit but removing the lid wasn't then when it did peal off the tray slipped out of my hand and launched into the full washing up bowl disappearing submarine style. | |
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cargy
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Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| Cooking disasters ~ Have you ever had any?
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:04:37 AM | I admit it; I am to cooking what Myra Hindley was to childcare. I can follow all the instructions, ingredients, and timings to the letter, but nothing edible ever comes of it.
Fortunately, I have learned the french art of cooking a lá ping.
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