| | Do you care about finances when dating?Page 3 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | mostly what i care about when dating men is how they treat me..... yes i prefer men that work and have jobs but i also will date men who are disabled. I was raised by a very wealthy,selfish stepfather. If a man is rich, mean and selfish...what's the point. I will run the otherway. Nope it's about how they treat you. I have been treated like a queen by men who have nothing.  | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:15:26 PM | | If I'm casually dating a guy and especially at the beginning, finances aren't at the top of the list. I'd never ask a guy what his financial status is on the first date. That's simply taboo. However, if the relationship gets serious, I'd want to know that he and I are on the same page when it comes to finances. That we share the same goals, outlook/attitude about finances, and that we're living the good life, but aren't in debt over our ears. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:34:58 PM |
If you're a girl, you definitely care about his finances VERY MUCH.
Not that YOU ever stereotype.
Nope. Never.
Cuz we all know that women are all a bunch of gold-diggers. Tis all.
This stereotype is perfectly valid IMO, as some stereotypes about men are also. I know this forum is infested with a severe case of generalisation phobia, for good reason most of the time, but the fact will always remain that certain species and genders have general traits programmed into them by millions of years of evolution. Denying your humanity won't make it go away.
Generalisations can be made about cats, dogs, and humans. Some people make a career out of analysing these common traits, and it's perfectly valid and acceptable science.
Generally, women see men as protectors and providers. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 4:42:07 PM | I'm always conscious of finances in dating which means I'm considerate. I'm always willing to pay my share of the tab. I've never had much more than just enough money to get by from paycheck to paycheck and while someone I date might have plenty, I don't know that when we see each other the first times. So I hate it when a guy wants me to decide where we're gonna go and what we'll do. If he's paying or if he's only paying his half, I want to be respectful of his funds. So, if he wants me to decide where we'll go, he needs to give me some parameters so I can make that decision.
And dating someone who has money? I could probably get used to that, but I'm so frugal myself, a guy who has plenty probably wouldn't want me. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:34:59 PM | How does one know someone's finances early on anyway? I mean, you never know what someone has in their bank account or their credit history, etc. That takes time to reveal that kind of info between people and, I would think, by the time you do, there is already some kind of connection that wasn't based on material assets.
Honestly, it doesn't really matter to me too much cause material security can disappear and appear so easily within a lifetime.
Like mustlovedogsandcats said, what matters most is how he treats me..do i feel respected, appreciated, and shown the same courtesy and interest that I express, etc. Its the actions, not the money, that captures my attention. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 8:12:07 PM | I can't believe you agreed to meet the woman who says:
when I agreed to meet her, and she told me it had to be close to her place because she didn't have enough gas money to go more than a few miles from her house. | |
|
| |
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 8:30:36 PM |  I learned all to well to watch my finances "before" my wife could bankrupt us.
I have dated a couplea women that make far more money than I do. (I am very comfortable with what I collect on my retirement.) I guess the "problem" I deal with if I meet someone who isn't making enough to pay their way in life is that I know that even if I ante up cash by wheelbarrow load for them; its not solving their problem(s) financially.....
Its extremely tiring trying to teach financial responsibility to some of the people I've dated through the years. I'm like a "bull-in-a-chinashop" when I train people I care about to make any progress with them. (they've been told for years to live within their budget but keep up destructively spending). No matter what I say or do; they're going into "high defense mode" everytime anything comes outta my mouth......
I know that if you try to re-invent the wheel it'll probably have a flat tire. I saved, balanced my budget, and all those other things that kept frivolous spending to a minimum and provided a very comfortable life for everyone in my family group.
Now remember; I did specifically state that I have dated between income groups. The women I dated that were financially responsible (and even fairly wealthy) pretty much shared my own sentiments about "money". I had a great time knowing them and am flattered I knew them for the short time I did. They drove a nicer, newer car, had a nicer, newer home, and they worked like hell alot. But we both understood that money isn't money unless its spent responsibly.
I still hit the casino's, give money to my son, and all those other things that financial planning has made possible most of all..... its called spending it!!
So if someone is making less than you.... I think you should consider "why" and "if" they are going to ever turn it around before you invest in them for a relationship.
I hope this helps.
| |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:00:21 PM | ^^^^ exactly. why is it when women prefer the same or better in finances, they are called gold diggers? and why is it when men prefer the same or better in looks, they are called superficial and shallow?
i think that, just in general, women are more picky about lifestyle ... and men are more picky about looks. not that you can generalize anything. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:55:44 PM | I'm like you, cobalt, I stick to my own kind. Don't want someone out of my league in either direction--just a regular guy for this regular girl.
Finances matter to me because I am 23. My goals are not the same as people in different life stages. I DO want to get married. I DO want children. I DO NOT want to be living in someone's parents' basement and having a wedding at Chuck E. Cheese and applying for WIC.
I need a partner who shares my ideas about the future, and while that doesn't include Trump Tower or the Ritz Carlton, it does include being able to afford the rent and some groceries, and maybe movie tickets every so often. The fanciest thing I can think of that I want out of life is my own house one day, maybe with a little yard and a mailbox, and wallpaper that I picked out myself. Magnolias in the yard. Small dreams for 1950. Big dreams for 2008.
That means he has to be employed or employable. Employable means that he's not employed, but is in school.
If a date of mine worked retail and was not in school, and that was the end of the line for him, he'd have to be otherwise really outstanding for me to keep dating him, because I would know that by marrying him, all dreams of a house would be gone, I'd probably have to be working until my eighth month of pregnancy, and someone's mother's house would be involved somewhere along the way.
I don't consider my ideas and goals lofty, unattainable, gold-diggerish, or snotty. I don't have a specific "salary requirement" set up to date me, and I'm not particularly impressed with fancy job titles and healthy wallets. I just want someone who wants and can obtain the same kind of middle class life that I aspire to having for myself and any kids I might have one day. | |
|
Yen83
| | Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 61 | |
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:06:21 PM | You just described me. Sometimes I think some guys look way out of my league or just plain to pretty. From experience a lot of the really good looking guy are ass holes because they know they have more options than the average looking guy.
I am not a materialistic person so I don't care if the guys make little or more money but I wont date someone that makes a lot of money, most of the time their ego's are so high up that they can't see the ground. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:48:50 PM | It is not the amount of money, but rather how you percieve it. In a relationship, both of you should have the same financial values. That was one of the problems in my marriage. Another thing you brought up was personal appearence. I have dated some ladies that were drop dead gorgeous. The last one was went through my closet and was wanting me to throw out my chlothes and replace them. I cant do that on a teacher's salry. I also found her to be very vain and overly concerned with aquiring wrinkles and getting old. (what is the alternative)
ps your pic looks good, wished you lived closer. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:03:28 PM | Small dreams for 1950. Big dreams for 2008.
The above quote says it all. Thanks to everyone that voted for Bush!!!!!
If you don't care about finances then what's the point? Ask yourself if finances might have anything to do with divorce? Get married, get broke, get divorced. ???Anyone??
Main thing is you both have to have the same goals and views, otherwise it will never work anyways. | |
|
BDRT
| | Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 64 | |
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:36:06 PM | | ^^^^ I agree. I prefer to date someone who can enjoy the same things I do. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle by any means. I do admire a man who can manage his money, no matter how little or much he makes. Invest wisely, spend within your means. Someone who lives with their credit cards maxxed out or having to rob peter to pay paul is not going to impress me. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:56:42 PM | | I date women that will inspire me to become something better than I already am. In short, this means I look for honesty, integrity, moral values and high standards of behaviour. Money is not even something I even consider, to be perfectly honest. | |
|
chelz
| | Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 66 | |
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:28:24 AM | | I care about what finacial situation my partner is in. I once dated a guy who had mounds and mounds of debt, I didnt want to get close because i know im financially stable and if things worked out i wouldnt want to carry him. This person spent money on useless things instead of paying his bills..took out loan after loan and then proceeded to complain about how much debt he had...you dig your own hole. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:44:23 AM | Finances do matter (more so the older you get I think) there is a book called "I can't afford to marry you" a women wrote it after her finance broke off with her after finding out how much she truly owed in credit cards etc. I worked hard to have good credit, etc and tried to teach my kids the importance of not over extending yourself etc. For me I don't want to have to help someone else fix their credit or pay off their debt and I would feel horrible if someone had to do that for me. Sounds selfish maybe... I believe in working together to achieve what is wanted and agreed upon but, I have been shocked at the number of men who have really have no clue how to handle their finances or still live at home with parents!
(I totally understand some things are out of your control in life and situations dictate where you end up, but unless something drastic has happened (don't mean lost one job) I truly don't believe MAN OR WOMEN you should burden someone else with your debt or look for someone who can get you out of it.
(and I am not a ****.. a number of men I have dated plus my ex husband have made less then me... I didn't care only mattered was as I said we shared the same desire to work towards our dreams) | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:44:35 AM | I agree that finances will come into play at some point in a relationship.....good or bad.....
There have been times when a relationship of mine would feel left out if they could not afford to do some of the things I could do, and wanted me to somehow help them and pay for them.
This can work as a gift, or temporary give and take situation, but if it seems that each time that something is planned that can involve extra costs, that one must handle that for the both of you, problems will exist.
Most women do not want to pay a majority of the time for the man in their life, and given the equality status that exists much more now between men and women, most men do not as well.
I think that there is a tendency to dissrupt relationships negatively when there is a significant difference with earning power and finances, and this can happen both ways.
Just my opinion.......   | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:55:54 AM | Yes, finances would be a deal breaker... if he's no good at finances, then, it will bring a lot of arguments in long term relationship. Not saying that he must be rich, but he has minimal debt and some savings. If he's cheap, well, that speaks of his personality as well. Money management skills are important, not the reverse, ie, money manages him.
I agree with the earlier post: I would not be comfortable with sum1 who is filthy rich or killer handsome. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:50:28 AM | Maybe that is why I am alone?????..........No one wants to drool in luxury......  
OT..........Being cheap can go both ways, and a huge turn off for many of us, are those that "expect", but seldom "give"..........
Ah......"equality".......the money that binds us.......
Just my opinion...... | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:33:10 PM | Don't really care about finances. I think having extra money left over (after all the obigations are paid) is nice, but money comes and goes...in the end, it's the person you're with that matters most. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:45:46 PM |
I kinda think I have a certain niche myself-in the working class/average looking but intelligent/nice person genre.....and stick to looking for a similar mate.
Me too.
I'd make an educated guess to say that when a woman says a man makes her feel 'safe' she means physically and emotionally. Maybe he would be protective. | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:24:12 AM |
Don't really care about finances. I think having extra money left over (after all the obigations are paid) is nice, but money comes and goes...in the end, it's the person you're with that matters most.
I really hate to be the pessimistic one here, but in MY situation it's the people who have come and gone, and the money has been the constant. I've been married two times and each time I loved him dearly and fully intended to be with them for the rest of my life....things happened and circumstances changed. The people drifted and with probably 90% of my friends divorced or widowed I'd say I'm not the only one in that boat.
I want some security and I made a decision when my son was little that I'd create it for myself--I have. I want someone who has a similar view and thought process... | |
|
| Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:52:44 AM | Sure! Dating for a guy gets expensive!
The fun part is when you get credit card statements with entries for
Dates, of women you no longer have any contact with.
So now I make sure to only date using Stolen Credit Cards.
Mostly in Stolen Cars, Stolen Plates and Siphoned Gas!
And I wear my Stolen Police College T Shirt!
Life is what you make of it! | |
|
| |
Home
login 
