| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:48:19 AM | She has shown she is irresponsible by getting pregnant by two different daddies. Obviously these baby daddies are not in her life if she is so broke. (although she could be getting child support and not telling you) .
I think you were very kind to take her out to shop for food. In the end this is the best thing to do to help out a single mom. Been there done that. And food prices are high these days. That she put you down after this generosity speaks volumes of what kind of person she is. I feel sorry for her kids. She is looking for a man to take care of her and she might just be using children as a way to get them to do it. Obviously it is not working.
You need to stay away. I have a feeling she was going to use you and then tell you that she was pregnant after you guys had a sexual thing going, so you'd think it was your child. RUN and don't look back.
As for calling the kids **stards. The REAL definition of the term is an illegitimate child. Which makes the description crass but true. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:58:15 AM | your a **stard just like all the rest etc etc.
That's nothing more than manipulative behavior - she's trying to use you, nothing more.
Also, most men don't just walk away from a woman that has their child. If neither of these guys are around, then there's something about her that is the reason.
If a woman has children from multiple men because she was with one for 4 years and another for 8 years (or whatever), that's one thing. If she has multiple kids by multiple men and she's never been in a long term relationship with them? She's demonstrating some very poor decision making. Run, and relax and know that you don't owe her a thing.
You're likely a good guy, but she's a headcase.
"When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.
-Elie Wiesel "
I know it's hard - I was involved with a woman with 2 kids, different dads, neither one around at all now. She behaved in the way you're describing. We were friends for 2 years, and it's my opinion that she's got some sort of personality disorder, and even her family members describe her as "emotionally unstable". It isn't you my friend. It's her. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:59:11 AM |
As for calling the kids **stards. The REAL definition of the term is an illegitimate child. Which makes the description crass but true. .....Agreed. However I cannot see where OP states he is an 'illegitimate' child as he himself has used the term bastar*.
gtomustang used the word in a very degrading way by putting the children and the OP in the same category.....it's not on! Guess it can be compared to a child using the word 'bitc*' as it means female dog.....So is it acceptable?
Raiderfan I do get your point though! I guess it just a case of 'Belly dancing' around the word 
OP, cut your losses, you were a good Samaritan, but will not be a door mat.....On ya!
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 8:05:37 AM | | Well rid now but must be a sucker for a sob story! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 8:54:47 AM | I absolve you of guilt, and give you free rein to start dating NICE girls from now on.
Love,
Your Mother | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:22:47 AM | | She is a loser. You are too good for her. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:27:25 AM | you did the right thing, she should not have tried to bully you to helping her. If she was pregnant with another guys kid, what is that guy at. Good for you for running!
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:29:29 AM | maybe you are a **stard. I don't know.
however:
I think I`m a decent enough bloke but was I rong in finishing it or did I do the right thing?
Even though you can't spell you've clearly got the life preservers workin'. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:37:16 AM | | OP - I think you were wise in leaving the Titanic, you would've sunk with her. She's 20 years old, she's got so much to learn. I think you were wise that when you took her food shopping that you paid for the food and not give her the cash. I suspect that she's got more issues than being a baby making machine. There may be drugs involved that you may not be aware of. She's someone else's problems. The best gift you gave yourself was to walk away. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:44:14 AM | | I don't think you are a *astard, in fact she was lucky you took her shopping as it wasn't really your responsibility. But in doing so you learned that she was trying to use you. Good for you for getting out and not allowing yourself to be a doormat. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:53:01 AM | I used to work as a maturnity nurse...the clerk there HATED typing in "illegitimate" on the babies birth certificates. She said there was no such thing as an "illegitmate" baby...just parents! And I agree.
Don't you guys put down the babies because of the "mother"....or the sperm donor!
Now, on topic:
Op...what a grand thing for you to do. Seriously, don't stop being a "nice guy" because...once again, one of your kind tried to be nice and got stung for it.
I know one young lady around here who is absolutely stunningly beautiful. She's in her early twenties and has two also stunningly beautiful baby girls by two different men. She dreams of the day someone will see her worth and marry her and be the true daddy these little girls deserve. She's not a bad girl. She takes good care of her children...on her own. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:56:27 AM | | Yeah dude your a real bastar d for not handing over a bunch of money to a girl that cant keep her legs closed. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:02:56 AM | I think that just your ASKING for advice on this subject shows a great deal of sensitivity and maturity on your part.I don't agree with the manipulation (on her part)that resulted in your taking her shopping so early in the relationship,but then again what made her believe you would do this in the first place?
You now have the option of choosing what type of girl you want or don't to date ,or be in a relationship with.Someone needy and dependent on you(and clearly somewhat abusive when you didn't give in) or one who is self sufficient ,appreciative and balanced?
Your choice.
This is not your 'stuff',but if it happens again...it will be fair to assume you have a part in this.
As for the texts,any reponse IS a reward and will be in your best interest to delete her completely from your life if you haven't already done so.Take care and good luck.
Who ever gets you will be one lucky woman! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:15:00 PM | OP, congratulations on doing your good deed for the day. You will be able to look yourself in the mirror and sleep well at night.
The difference between being a sucker, and good guy is that you were able to see it, and end it. She was just using you, and that isn't fair.
Don't respond to her text, and certainly don't think twice about this 'woman'.
She obviously has too much money put into her cell phone, to worry about feeding her kids.
Don't let this one incident scar you from doing good deeds in the future.
I agree with searching4u444
Who ever gets you will be one lucky woman! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:24:18 PM | You are not even close to being a **stard...in fact what you did showed a lot of maturity for someone your age....she is pregnant with someone else's child and was hoping to use you as her meal ticket....you did the right thing....its not your child and its not your problem...you are way to young to tie yourself down to someone who probably does not even know who the father is... | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:25:33 PM | | You did the right thing with dropping her. Sounds like she was only interested in money and what material things you could give her. She wants a sugar daddy to take care of her and the kids. Good for you that you were smart enough to get out!! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:11:05 PM | The sad part of this whole mess...is her kids will be the ones who will have no chance at any kind of a normal life.
YOU, did the right thing, SHE, needs help. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:14:50 PM | Of course you aren't a ba$tard. You know you aren't.
You're probably a nice guy, though. You might want to nip that right in the bud.
Seriously. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:19:58 PM | No no no no...you are not a **stard. I really don't understand why you would think that in the first place.
You did something very nice for this person and she rewards you with insults. If it continues I suggest you file a complaint. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:21:03 PM | No, you're not a **stard.
We all know where that road was leading to. :P
Next time, just tell anybody you don' t know too well who's short on groceries where the food banks are. It will serve them much better. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:02:03 AM | OF COURSE you are... it's your sworn duty in life to rescue and finance every desperate, promiscuous wench you ever come into contact with. Didn't you read the rule book?
P.S.
Good move with the grocery shopping... brought the cards right out into the open. Sounds like there's drugs or booze involved as well. Pity those poor kids... gawd knows what kinda life they're going to have. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:24:30 AM | | No you aint a **stard!! shes so rude expecting you to buy her food shopping and you have only been going out a few weeks! i think you did well to get out while you still could its obvious it was just about the money! dont text her back coz u can do much better | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:25:04 AM | | Dont go down the road of the rescuer, not your issue - she is probably looking for someone to take care of her instead of her taking responsibility for her own life. Your not a b***sted, just a caring bloke. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:59:28 AM | Op what a lovely young man you are. Paying for food for someone you only knew for a few weeks. WOW
I wish you a lot of happiness in the future and when you meet that wonderful girl this will be a distant memory, something not even worth thinking about. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:51:15 AM | No Mickey, you are not a Ba5tard.
She sounds like a bike. you did the right thing by running for the hills... | |
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