Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what does a guy mean when he says "you deserve better"?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Stove Top
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 51
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well.. It would be nice if the OP came in and told us the context of thier conversation when he said it. After all it could mean quite a few different things like:

If you asked/told him you would like to travel to meet and he said "you deserve better" then I would have to say, he's not wanting that to happen.

If you were complaining to him about the way someone was treating you and he said"you deserve better" then he was just sticking up for you.

I could go on..... but I won't.. I have learned however, that when someone says "you deserve better" to me, no matter what the jist of the conversation...
in hind-sight.They've usually been right
 fennelfish
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 52
view profile
History
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:45:58 AM
he means "i can't be bothered to make the effort..."
 smileyface34
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 53
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 12:12:41 PM
I had a guy say to me "you deserve better" a couple of times while we were dating & he literally meant those exact words. His problem was that he smoked (a lot) & toked occasionally & I had NO addictions - this really bothered him (mentally). He couldn't fathom why a "straight" woman like me would WANT to be with a "guy" like him - bad habits & such. I told him that I liked being with him & liked other things about him (I told him specifically what they were), but ultimately he just couldn't feel comfortable being with a straight person like me & we broke-up (I was devastated). Maybe he NEVER went out with someone as straight as me (I've never smoked, nor tried any drugs).

So the bottom line is that sometimes words are meant to be taken literally - other times you have to read between the lines. If you know the person well enough (which you should have after 1 year), then you should know what he meant by the words "you deserve better." However, sometimes people are dishonest with their words - so maybe you wouldn't know for sure what he meant. People can screw with our minds.
 havinfunwithyou
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 54
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 12:19:51 PM
I say listen to this man....I think his opinion is a good one!!!!
 littlemermaidhere
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 55
view profile
History
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 12:22:32 PM

the guy tells the girl, "you deserve better".
what does he mean?


I'll try in put this in words you'll understand.

It means:
you deserve better.
 Diablera bruja
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 56
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 1:17:24 PM
You deserve better/I need to find myself/ be a better man/become more whatever/ was going to dump you but changed my mind, yada yada yada. It all means I have had enough, am off bye bye. But I don't want tears or hassle.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 57
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 1:26:25 PM

BUT the guy tells the girl, "you deserve better".
what does he mean?


It means it was fun talking, be my chat buddy,holding my hand when needed and just a good old tree to lean on and now I have found someone else who seems to be even more to my liking, are you getting my drift?
What the dude is saying in a bailout way (aka-chicken-sh*t) you weren't the problem
but him ,without saying he has another squease in the fold.

Most of the folks here,cough&%$$ *&% are very up front here,well ...ahhh,
what was your question?
 Urs Truly
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 58
view profile
History
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 2:45:23 PM
Be easy on her everyone . She is in china and her man was somewhere in another country... it could have been she was too far for him to connect with her... so he let her go .. no sense carrying on if they weren't going to see each other anyway ... he might have not had the money to sent for her.. most likely or go see her.... ease on her she is heart broken after all it was an online relationship for over a year.
 Zeanah59
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 59
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 2:54:51 PM
I think it means "I want out and this is the nice way to do it!" ...but in all reality...you probably do deserve better. Why be with a man who does not want you...you DO deserve better than that!
 rlb51778
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 60
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 3:02:24 PM
It means "just friends," or "internet buddies" in this case.

Even if he had the balls to come out say it bluntly, he obviously cares enough about the woman's feelings enough to throw out a few subtle hints first.

zeanah59 hit the nail right on the head. Some women would still follow this guy around, and not be fully appreciated like they deserve.
 steve217
Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 61
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 3:30:41 PM
He could have a hidden problem such as alcohol or who knows.
If it's an online thing, and you've never even met the person, relax!
There are more out there that would be willing to be with you.
 smile98765
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 62
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:32:01 PM
It means he's not interested in you in a romantic way.
 Bethlett
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 63
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:34:09 PM
If he was DATING her, that would mean "I'm already screwing someone else".

But if he is only a penpal, then he means "I don't have the money to make you a real part of my life."
 sunnyshari
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 64
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:34:45 PM
this is what i've said to a guy when i wanted to end it without hurting his feelings....
 hongchina
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 65
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:39:40 PM
thank you for all your replies.
here i add some details:

1. the purpose of the two person's online chatting is long-time relationship and marriage. si nce they met on dating site and they have made it clear at the beginning of chatting.

2. the time span of thei r chatting is not only 1 year, to be exat, it's almost 2 years. from april 2006 till now.

3. the boy is 12 years older than the girl.the boy said he would go to the girls' country and meet her maybe in 2009.. it will be 3 years after their first talk..do you think it reasonable to take 3 years talking before meeting in person?
 hongchina
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 66
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/26/2008 11:23:38 PM
and despite all his promise to go to meet the girl,
the boy told the girl "you deserve better"
isn't it confusing?
 IWishItWasSummer
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 67
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:24:57 AM
He doesn't want to meet you or can't see it happening and is trying to tell you that. Don't wait for him, he won't come. He cares for you and is saying you deserve better than an on=line relationship that's going nowhere.
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 68
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:29:45 AM

do you think it reasonable to take 3 years talking before meeting in person?


Unless he is an heir to the Microsoft fortune, I have an idea why it's taken three years.

Do YOU have thousands of dollars to possibly WASTE going to meet someone with whom a relationship is a long longshot to begin with? Distance, culture.....

You need to wear reality glasses when you do this kind of thing. I absolutely ADORE one woman here who I would consider in the context of long term if things were different. However, things are NOT different. Things are what they are, and they aren't likely to change so it isn't going to happen.

Sometimes you just have to face the fact that it isn't going to be possible.
 shanni_666
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 69
view profile
History
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:09:56 AM
he could also be playing the mind game by say " u can do better " wot he mite be meaning is " u will nvr get better than me "...
 MrTwistedPersonality
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 70
view profile
History
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:07:22 AM
Personally, I think the culture and nation distance is possibly playing a key factor here if you are trying to interact with someone outside of your country. It also depends on the person as well.

If he's a fellow who is still in college or having a hard time making bills, he may have decided to break it off, as he will never have the chance to meet you. If he is successful enough that he could afford a ticket to beijing, he has probably lost interest in you do to your profile listing you as a "long term" relationship (marriage).

Maybe he thought you were indeed too good for him. You are, from what I have seen in your posts and profile, an attractive, warm, successful, sincere woman. As such, some men have a hard time approaching people such as yourself as they feel outclassed.

It could also be a way of ending the relationship in the least amount of pain for one or both parties. Maybe he found someone better/closer/short-term/more attractive/had more common ground with than you.

Personally, I would just ask why he is ending the relationship. He will either state what he has said before (saying that you are too good for him), or he will actually admit to why.

Good luck in your travels and future relationship.
 jayne doe
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 71
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:20:52 AM
could be he got all he needed from the relationship with you.. emotionally or physically, some like their ego stroked by having many "dates" .. its a kick for them.
or he could seriously find flaw within himself and consider that you will not be with him long , and is saving himself a lot of hurt in the future.
 kayfay
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 72
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:27:23 AM
Not to be mean, but in my opinion it means that he found someone that he *thinks* is better, and is now pursuing her.
 jupitorsmoon
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 73
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:34:09 AM
First of all, how much do you know about this guys backround? He could either be a really nice guy who has low self esteem... or he could be a into trouble that he doesn't want you to get involved with. Either way I think it reflects low self esteem, or that he might hurt you. Either way, take it as a fore warning.
 crazylilting
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 74
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:34:30 AM
Hello there,
You sound very goal orientated in your approach to this. Three years in my opinion is a very long time. Neither of you can go visit the other? To start out with the goal of marriage is not a good idea in my opinion because there is more to being together then long distance communicating.

Some people do think others are to good for them. I often think that about my special someone. I could never be as good as her and only hope that one day i will be but she accepts me just as i am. Its not that i'm a bad fella or anything but it just seems like life is to good to be true some times.

We don't have the benefit of knowing your fella, but I would think that he feels perhaps small or less innocent compared to you. He may be looking for reassurance who knows... We don't have the benefit of knowing how you both communicate with each other.

I would try to meet sooner then later even if you can get to go and visit him. If there is no chemistry then three years is a long time to find that out. He could also be incarcerated and talking to you from a prison computer and that might account for the three year wait. You can never tell what is real on the internet and its best to be safe. Unless of course you are just chatting as friends.
 leeanna50
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 75
what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better?
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:36:24 AM
maybe it means with you both worlds apart he dont want you setting there living life alone and you need to find someone closer to be with,
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > what does a guy mean when he says "you deserve better"?