Mulva
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Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 26 | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/1/2008 10:45:12 PM | | Darn! I guess I was wrong. I thought it was warm lips and strong sholders. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/1/2008 10:55:15 PM | LOL, ohhh these are good...
Still sad, the thread asking women was filled with women... Guess men have their own thought process on the whole thing... | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:58:03 AM | All I can tell you is a great father makes a good man.
I have been accused of being a good man from time to time; and I have to tell you it's all his fault. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/7/2008 3:23:26 PM | I had the unfortunate circumstance to be born into an aristocratic family. Most of my fathers values I have had to toss out as I could not agree with class structure by birth accident, nor could I handle the respectful deference without someone knowing who I am. IE their respect was for the position not the person. That wealth and status are passed on I also disagreed with and declined family inheritances. I did however keep two things my father valued, a respect for women and that ones word is ones bond. Both of these have been abused in past relationships, but to me that is not reason enough to abandon them.
Collin | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:20:28 PM | Collin, my hats off to you...
Those are two extremely good qualities that seem to not be passed down much anymore.
I think the third value you have and did not express is to forgive. Being able to forgive ones short coming to allow for another chance is a great quality as well...
Thank you... | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:29:34 PM | I've been reading the forums too long today, so I'm slap happy. The first thing that came to mind was Mae West's entendre: "A hard man is good to find."
But that's Mae West.
I am endeared of khamya's entire posting, particular the first paragraph: creating a space of trust, intimacy. and security. Great stuff, KH!
Holding up my own end of creating a space for the relationship where trust, intimacy, and security are dominant. Holding that space so that when an argument happens, or an issue arises, there is no threat or fear. It's tough to word this. But there can't be honesty and deep sharing when one person is afraid to share. If my lover knows that if she tells me about her crush on a co-worker that I'll get angry and it will threaten the relationship, then the space of the relationship is not secure. If she knows that I won't be threatened, won't react from fear, then she won't be afraid to share. That is invaluable.
Also, I want to be able to refer to this post regarding integrity:
A Question of Integrity :
* A man of integrity will always tell the truth, even if it makes him look bad.
* A man of integrity will never take something that doesn't belong to him, even if there is an implied permission to do so, or it is "commonly understood" to do so.
* A man of integrity do what he says he'll do, even if it is difficult to do so.
I didn't include some of the items because I've also known men who have, as we grow into a "relationship team," wind up giving time and commitments to friends, family, etc., and even volunteer MY time to help them do work for a woman who is obviously using them, yet the same man would balk at my suggestions, and would even balk if I asked him to help me in the same fashion (cutting trees for a woman, pressure washing another young neighbor's --MY neighbor--roof, giving rides, or taking his hairdresser to lunch--after EVERY appointment). It becomes less of a man of integrity and more of a milquetoast. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/10/2008 10:26:31 AM | Honesty is perhaps the most fundamental value of a person with good character. Without honesty, other character traits such as building trusting and respectful relationships will be impossible to achieve
When I date someone I always ask myself....
RESPONSIBILITY: Can I depend on him to do what he says he’s going to do?
ACCOUNTABILITY: Can he accepts his own mistakes or does he blame others?
HUMILITY: Do he believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal
comfort?
KINDNESS: Does he enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does he treat people he doesn't have to be nice to?
HONESTY: Does he display sincerity, integrity and candor in all his actions? | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:46:34 AM | Seeing this and being a MAN, to which I hold everyone to MY definition of man, I had to respond. I think there are several underlying qualities that defines a man.
First and foremost I believe a man should hold his word to be true. If a man has but one thing to offer is should be that his word is everything to him. A real man says exactly what he means and means exactly what he says.
Secondly a man should have a good sense of Chivalry and act like a gentleman most of the time. Now I don't act this way ALL the time because I'm also an ***hole and I like to test the boundaries people have. By Chivalry I do not mean anything material at all. Women tend to confuse material items and goods for CHIVALRY. Chivalry deals with actions and manners, opening the door for the woman, pulling her chair out, asking what she would like to do and putting her before himself etc.
And a man should be strong willed and brave, which tend to be extensions of the first two qualities.
I believe these things make a man a MAN, and thats what I uphold everyone to. If you do not have these qualities to me you are not a man. Age does not make a man, the the caliber of your person does. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/13/2008 11:29:14 AM | Machineshop, very nicely said...
One point I would add to your arsenal of great qualitites is to be able to listen, and withhold the urge to try and fix things... Sometimes a lady just needs to say she's frustrated, and leave it at that.
You are indeed a good sound man, thank you... | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:49:08 PM |
Sometimes a lady just needs to say she's frustrated, and leave it at that. That took some doing for me to learn. It was so foreign to my thought process that people could voice a complaint and honestly not want help, advice, anything but an ear. But sure enough, it actually works that way. The real trick is learning the difference between the times when someone just wants to vent and the times when they want help if they're not the sort who will come out and say it at the beginning.
But I have to say, that a clear mark of a good man is agreeing with me, so Yoodle is a good man. 
How does it go, great minds think alike--then there's us. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:50:14 AM | I have to repeat alot of the answers that have already been posted, Which I tend to agree with most.
Respect (This includes all things property,feelings, the opposite sex, family, friends, Children, animals)
Integrity is a big one to me
Honesty goes with integrity
caring
bravery
open minded
Dont just look at how the man treats his mother, but also look at how/what his kids think of him and how he treats them (for the guys that have kids)
Able to be himself and not put on a act as to what others expect | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:46:36 PM | | Honesty, integrity, faithfulness and willing to listen and not just talk. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:56:02 PM | | Absolutely true all the way. Take heed ladies, this gal is rare breed. Who cares about the roles of women and men. Notice I put women first in this sentence. Guys like to give freely to their woman and get a sense of pride, accomplishment and hero status. Makes for a great f**k later too. Who's your hero, say it! Ha ha. What makes a great man also is his abilities not to take things so serious. Seems finding an equal is a grail quest. That's why it helps to have ones self intact and the confidence meter pegged. Oh yeah look at my hands and shoulders. Ha ha. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:15:46 PM | Calypso, You caught a fish in a kayak, frick that is to dang cool....
GHW, wonder, you do catch and release. Fosh are good to eat, but sometimes just angling them up for fun is great too...
Good job Magicwaffle... Sometimes it can take a life time to see how important these qualities are, for both men and women...
Calypso, not all men have enough in their love account that allows for them to give freely, therefore they can end up feeling emotionally jaded, because they are only able to take. your right neither sexes can take themself or life to serious, cause in the end we all die....If you haven't learned to laugh by that time, it is a bad time to wonder what lifes punch line was..
Hugs to all. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/27/2008 2:27:13 PM | | Probably 98% of the time I catch and release barbless flyfishing. The occasional salmon and halibut are table fare all the rest are released unharmed | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/27/2008 5:16:05 PM |
What makes a good man?
Being a good food provider for one. There's just something about a man who cooks for me that makes me drool, literally and figuratively! Fresh caught seafood.... yummm | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:24:00 PM | A man keeps his word,watches your back,encourages you to be all ya can.You know he's yours alone,and he proves it by,well,treating you like the lady you are.
You are never uneasy around him.He puts you first and if danger hits,he protects you.
Both have faults,grow together.And that's week one! | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 3/10/2008 10:59:39 PM | Sure being a man of charictor is great, a+. You can have charictor but if the man is emotionally unavailable.. then what do you really have? No emotional support or stregnth. That's really where my marriage bottomed out. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 3/12/2008 10:28:27 AM | Leogirl70 wrote:
"RESPONSIBILITY: Can I depend on him to do what he says he’s going to do?
ACCOUNTABILITY: Can he accepts his own mistakes or does he blame others?
HUMILITY: Do he believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal
comfort?
KINDNESS: Does he enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does he treat people he doesn't have to be nice to?
HONESTY: Does he display sincerity, integrity and candor in all his actions? "
I like your listing - I particularly like "Kindness" - I can't tell you how many times I have made up my mind that I would or would not go out with a guy again because of the way he treated a waiter/waitress or someone else we may have been in contact with on a date. Holding a door for someone behind you, giving your seat up on a bus for someone who needs it more, etc., these reflect on a person. This applies to both men and women though! | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:28:11 PM | I am with ya Raggedyann. Leogirl has it right, as do you.
Sometimes it takes a while to get the full picture of a person, however if a guy blows it with service people on a first date, boy it is really hard to over come that.
It is one thing to be nervous on a date, however being out in public with people that serve you is a life long regular event. | |
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| What makes a good man?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:19:59 AM | I believe what makes a good man is what makes a good woman: honesty, down to earth attitude and expression of respect to those they interact with.
This i guess is in the general sense.
I think that some of the entries in this thread where oriented towards 'what makes a good man for a date'. And this is slightly different kettle of fish. They need to know what the etiquette is (sorry for the spelling its way too late here down unda !). | |
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