| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:10:18 PM | | I agree whole heartedly with a majority of everyone's statements, the only ones that I do not agree with is that just because I dont choose to give it up in 2 to 3 dates or even 6 months that I am fickle and that my feelings for wanting to wait make me a prude. I am in touch with who I am. I want someone who is interested in me and not how quick he can get sex. Sex is everywhere, but where is true harmony and exploring where happiness will take you. I am openly honest with men that I meet about not looking for a sexual encounter anytime soon, I'm just not meeting anyone who is listening. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:20:29 PM | | you should have sex when you want to have sex, artificial time limits are juvenile and counterproductive. that said, if a girl doesnt feel a connection with me, its probably mutual. im not going to keep investing time into a relationship where neither of us are really into each other. if she doesnt want to sleep with me then we would probably be better off as friends. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:34:52 PM |
Sex is everywhere,
Not for men pisces and that's the problem. If it were as easy for men to get sex as it is for women then everyone would have the luxury of "holding out" should they desire to do so. Men almost have to take sex when they can or they risk not getting any at all.
If after 3 or 4 dates we either haven't had sex or there is not a clear indication that she desires to be physically intimate with me then I have to move on. Sex is an important part of what I define as a healthy relationship and life is too short to waste it on someone who may not be into me physically. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:51:56 PM | I would say to discuss it with him. Don't tell him you have no interest in having sex with him but say something like you want to take your time, move things slowly and really get to know each other.
If he is right for you, he will understand and be ok with it all. The one thing I can tell you as a guy.... it can be very frustrating and lead to a feeling of non-interest if a girl doesn't say anything and just simply wont sleep with you after a while of dating.
Any guy that is worth anything will be willing to wait.... get to know you and enjoy the beginnings of a great relationship. He will possibly from time to time test the waters to see if you are ready yet, but if he is a decent person..... it will only be testing the waters and he will respect the fact that you are not ready.
Having sex too soon can lead to a failure in a relationship when it starts to feel more like a chore than an intimate act between the two of you.
I would say take your time but communicate! | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:00:26 PM |
Any guy that is worth anything will be willing to wait
you were on the right track with "if he is right for you" but to say someone who wants something different in a relationship isnt worth anything is BS. people need to realize that sometimes their decisions, quirks and lifestyle will turn away some truly good partners. he may not be right for her, but just because hes not willing to spend several months waiting to see if this woman will reciprocate his feelings doesnt mean hes not a quality individual. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:30:41 PM |
I have just started back dating and if I meet a guy I have no interest in having sex any time soon. I am asking for some advice from men as well as women, to how long is an acceptable time to hold off from having sex with someone that you are dating.
Turn the question around, and it becomes "after what period must I sleep with someone?". That's just wrong. You have sex when you're both good and ready, be that forty three minutes or forty three weeks in!
Martin | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:58:52 PM | If you enjoy sex 6pisces9, then why are you so concerned with a time frame? The reason I say this, is because you sound afraid, that if you have it too soon, he may bolt on you or something?? Or, is it morals, just what is it?
Some girls hold out for long periods, want to really get to know the guy first and when they do get to know him after months/years whatever, he sometimes ends up leaving before even having sex anyway because things just didn't work out. Our emotions are still the same .. we're still as crushed about it all even if sex didn't yet come into the picture if we really learned to like/love them. Correct?
With that being said. I say hold out until you feel safe with him.. That could be two dates, two weeks, two months. Don't just hold out because you're afraid of losing your heart, cause you will if you're really into him anyway ~ whether or not you had sex. So if you're feeling safe with him... just enjoy no matter how long/quick into the relationship... That's what I'm thinking anyway!
Either that... or not until you've met his Mom ;0)
Cheers from a Mom who knows  | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:02:56 PM | Why don't you tell them you dont want to have sex until you're married to them? That way, if they stick around, you know they're with you for the right reasons.
I have no qualms in saying that the men today are spoiled and expect sex too easily.
Hang onto it. It's yours to give when you desire to. Don't let some guy with a high school kid's hormones convince you otherwise. If it means that's three months or three years.... it's all good. Men and women don't die from lack of sex.
There's always "self" pleasure 
 Peace | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:41:44 PM | | well youve got to be trolling. like any man with self respect is going to invest 3 years of his life into a woman who may or may not be attracted to him enough to have sex. but lets play devils advocate and say it all works out and then you finally have sex. is the guy now supposed to think youre anything but an idiot if you want to have sex frequently when it took 3 years to decide you were even interested? or supposed the sex sucks. you wasted 3 years for crappy sex and a woman you arent sexually compatible with? lets get real here... | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/29/2008 9:55:56 PM |
I WANT a sensual woman, not one with a low sex drive.
Just because she has chosen to wait does not mean she doesn't have a strong sex drive. If she sleeps with you on the first date, does that suggest she has a strong sex drive? I doubt you would see it that way. Women, sadly, tend to seek out answers to questions like this as a means of figuring out how to not drive a man away. Women don't want to be considered easy, but they don't want to wait so long that he gives up.
OP You need to make yourself happy, he will come along or not. Ultimately, the right one will come along for the ride, regardless of where your ride goes. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:13:48 PM | You're going to need to provide a lot more than sex to keep him anyway... Do not focus too much on the sex part or you will miss out on the big picture...
After 3 or 4 months of hanging out with someone I met through POF they could not give me a straight answer on what they wanted from me. (Then they got upset when I decided a platonic friendship was the order of the day...)
Just be very open about what you want and need... Chances are that someone you'll "mesh with" is out there somewhere... | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 12:29:09 AM | You want the truth and I hope this pisses off allot of you guys, Marriage. Thats how long, if they don't like it they have two hands, and if your a cripal reading this sorry.
Any way, thats the best because it keeps you protected from have kids with multiple fathers and from catching anything.
Hope this helps, if not I wasted 1 minute of mine and your time. Srry! | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:19:49 AM | | I say at least 6 months, i won't have sex for at least that long. Having too many sex partners is just nasty to me. If a woman asked me to wait 2 years I would. But by the 2 years have passed it's either time for marriage or move on. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:42:49 AM |
well youve got to be trolling. like any man with self respect is going to invest 3 years of his life into a woman who may or may not be attracted to him enough to have sex. but lets play devils advocate and say it all works out and then you finally have sex. is the guy now supposed to think youre anything but an idiot if you want to have sex frequently when it took 3 years to decide you were even interested? or supposed the sex sucks. you wasted 3 years for crappy sex and a woman you arent sexually compatible with? lets get real here...
I disagree
3 years is an extreme
and that isn't whats being said
also if the girls in a relationship with the guy im pretty sure she IS greatly attracted to him.
You can show someone your attracted to them by other means..
and if your in a relationship its safe to say that you like one another.
I think its INSANE the numbers of people i could sleep with if i just slept with everyone i started seeing..
if i dated 5 people per year and slept with all of them by the time i was thirty i have slept with 50 people.
and then i would be considered a "slut"
I waited along time with my ex of 3 yrs.. and he actually appreciated it because he wanted a "good girl" ...
and it doesnt mean im not sexual. It means that i respect myself. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 1:51:34 AM | | IMHO, a couple should discuss their needs, expectations and views on sex throughly before becoming intimate. This way you can clearly understand each others intentions and give clues as to what your open to. After that has been established, anytime is good. | |
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fay98
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Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 48 | |
| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:19:54 AM | | what about krazy...I will have to totally disagree. Who in their right mind would marry someone without knowing if they are compatible in bed. Sex is also part of a relationship. You'll know when you're ready and don't give it up until you are. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:21:06 AM |
I disagree
3 years is an extreme
and that isn't whats being said
also if the girls in a relationship with the guy im pretty sure she IS greatly attracted to him.
You can show someone your attracted to them by other means..
and if your in a relationship its safe to say that you like one another.
I think its INSANE the numbers of people i could sleep with if i just slept with everyone i started seeing..
if i dated 5 people per year and slept with all of them by the time i was thirty i have slept with 50 people.
and then i would be considered a "slut"
I waited along time with my ex of 3 yrs.. and he actually appreciated it because he wanted a "good girl" ...
and it doesnt mean im not sexual. It means that i respect myself.
i disagree.
3 years IS extreme and thats exactly what was said
im pretty sure if you are in a "relationship" for years that doesnt involve physical intimacy thats pretty much a friendship
if you cant make good sexual decisions, it doesnt matter how long you wait. all that is doing is holding down your number of partners by bringing on old age and death at a faster rate. you really cant tell when youve met someone that you have a true connection with as opposed to someone who is attractive and fun to be around?
your ex is a fool. suppose you waited all that time and it never happened, then what? then he missed out on meeting a woman he actually could have a meaningful relationship with because he spent months/years playing your waiting game. would you work a job that told you "we will consider paying you after youve been here one year, but we think you are a great candidate for the job!"?
you dont respect yourself, if you did youd trust your ability to make decisions regarding your own body. if it takes you a year to want to have sex with someone, you probably arent that into him. and if you do want to have sex but you play some childish game of chastity chicken then theres no reason he should want someone like you. | |
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| How long should a woman hold off having sex?
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:32:36 AM |
Thank you HillsideCA. This is exactly what I was trying to get to.
That's interesting. He didn't actually GIVE you an answer to the question you asked.
What he did do is give you the answer you wanted to hear. You asked "How long will the average guy wait?". He said "Oh, well you should wait until the time is right!"
I havent found that guy yet that shares my understanding of the whole situation.
Maybe if you tried saying what you mean rather than saying the opposite of what you mean, as you did in this case, you'd have a better chance for finding someone that shares your understanding ;) | |
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