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 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 26
Read, but not deleted... Interested?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It means the guy I hire to respond to my emails is away from his computer for a while.
Stupid ****er is gonna get fired if that keeps up.

I mean honestly Josh.
I don't care how many Degus you have to feed in your Degu shelter.
You are getting paid to do a job, so do it.
 techpeg
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 27
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:47:21 AM

i don't delete messages either...the system here has an auto-delete function, it will delete messages that are more than 30 days old, so i just let the system take care of it.

Hmmm. Never knew that.

I've actually made a point of asking in my emails "if you're not interested, please delete this so I know". No one ever responds to me anyway so I figure it can't hurt my chances.
 hl2olku
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 28
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:47:13 AM
Quote from Kevinmach : I was tempted to blame what I wrote, thinking it was silly or sounded anxious, so I gradually became more careful about what I wrote (over thinking it), and it's still happened.

I am not the OP on this thread, but really appreciated your comments. I tend to overthink what I wrote wondering if I said too much or that it came off the wrong way.

It's nice to know you guys ponder it too, but I like your point.... Can't overthink it!

To the OP, I agree at times it's frustrating when you don't hear back, but we all get messages we don't want to or know how to respond to. In the end, it's just not a fit for whatever reason. I've tried to remember it's not always a bad thing.... There's nothing worse than putting in effort with someone who isn't a fit for you. Because when things to click, it's effortless. That's the way it's SUPPOSED to be! But even I have to remind myself of that now and again!!
 Taer1j
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 29
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Posted: 7/25/2008 8:49:09 AM
Some of us are too lazy to delete the things. Some save them to reply 'later' but obvious lack the enthusiasm to remember.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 30
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Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:59:55 AM

Hmmm. Never knew that
It's true. Really it is. If one pays attention, there's just a plethora of hard hitting, newsworthy PoF information here. You learn something new every day.
 TakeMeTheWayIAm
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 31
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Posted: 7/26/2008 4:22:47 PM

Wait a week or two to see if he writes again. If he doesn't, send one more Email...
Oh... I definitely wouldn't do that. Like the title of this site suggests, there's too many fish in the sea to keep chasing one who didn't respond the first time. Forget him and move on.
 good guy75
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 32
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/7/2008 11:08:32 AM
if you emailed me and i was on line and read it but did not respond then i am not interested.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 33
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Posted: 8/7/2008 12:58:09 PM
Trust me OP, I am THE authority on these since what you describe is what has happened to over 90% of the emails I have sent. It simply means they are either LAZY and/or their parents never taught them any manners. [specifically, COURTESY] The simplest and easiest way to remedy this is to simply NOT send any more. It works perfectly!

These type folks probably treat everyone like this so consider yourself lucky. I mean you really don't expect them to Delete them do you? THAT would take 2 mouse clicks and another 3 seconds of their time!
 bsg789
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 34
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Posted: 8/7/2008 1:01:13 PM
If a person doesn't respond to your email, then he or she isn't interested. Whether the email was unread / deleted, read / deleted, read / nothing else etc.
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 35
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Posted: 8/10/2008 6:28:37 PM
I don't always delete things right away, no reason really.
 dgs216
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 36
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/11/2008 3:38:33 PM
Who knows what it means to the person you sent it to. I'm from the old school where you replied to a message with a polite "I don't think we'd be compatible" or anything other than "I'm in a relationship" if they're still looking!

If it gets read and there's not reply or if it's read/deleted then I figure they're not interested.
 jrbickers123
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 37
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Posted: 8/11/2008 4:49:51 PM
if theres no reply within the next day, theres no interest. the furthest you should ever read into something is "oh, its been read, but not replied, perhaps he is at work and will reply later" (1 day later) "oh no reply, he's not interested"

the end
 johnpaul78
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 38
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:23:13 PM
lol... if the people the other guys are anything like me, they may not delete their messages for extended periods.. usually when i read a message and want to respond i do rather quickly and just leave it in my inbox.. if i don't want to respond, i will typically click to something else without hitting delete :-P then one day i'll sign on and see my inbox has message from like 2 months ago and then i'll do a mass deleting... is this the same for girls..? i often wonder when i see the same thing with my sent messages...
 bigjd-rockin
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 39
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Posted: 8/17/2008 9:32:35 AM
I would say to give it at least a week or two. At least seven days. Like what happens to me,I receive messages when I am not on the computer for a few days,or I receive a message when I am least expecting it. I do have a problem with shyness now and again,and maybe need another day or two to prepare what I am going to say back in my reply. Myself,I haven't returned messages to a few because Iwasn't online for a week,or I needed time to prepare,and then I felt it might be too late,so I didn't bother. So I urge you to give it at least a week.
 janie007
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 40
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:56:30 AM
I'm guilty of doing this all the time, myself! I usually check my email when I have a few minutes, will read it, mean to go back and read it when i have more time and forget - I'm not crazy about this email system because sometimes there will be days where I get 15 emails and when I come back, there are several more, then I have to start from scratch again - sometimes I end up replying a month later and have gotten mean replies back for that! Oh well!

But, I'm sure everyone has their reasons for reading, not deleting but not responding. I wouldn't worry - next!
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 41
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Posted: 8/19/2008 5:06:32 AM
It means that like me, they are too lazy to delete their email. I never did when I was getting email.

The best way to not worry about what happens to an email after you send it is to go into your Sent folder and delete them as soon as you send them.
 Valentina744
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 42
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Posted: 8/19/2008 5:39:30 AM
The other side of the coin is when you DO politely reply that you are not interested, the verbal abuse I got put me off from ever replying again. A lot of the times the guy would look nice and I would even start a reply, but when I remember the verbal abuse I close the window and let it go.
I would only delete rude e-mails or ones which are text speak, casual chat requests etc.

Oh, and I don't send first e-mails anymore either.
I have more interest from guys now than ever before.
Maybe because I have clearly stated in my profile that I prefer the guy to take the first step (as it is supposed to happen naturally anyways).

Way to go...
 NERO1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 43
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Posted: 8/19/2008 7:46:26 AM
OP, maybe contact once more, at most, with something very brief. Personally, I would "delete" any "sent" msg's after you've sent them, and not concentrate on what they did or didn't do with them once they recv'd them. You wanted to say hi or whatever, you said it, you sent it out, and that's that. What happens to the msg in the other person's inbox shouldn't have to worry you, or ...potentially upset you if they've deleted it or read it but never responded , etc. It's impossible to know what other people are currently involved in, going through, and so forth. So why bother trying to "read minds".
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 44
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Posted: 8/19/2008 9:25:15 AM
Women on POF send messages to Men?
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 45
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Posted: 8/19/2008 9:41:36 AM
I have clearly stated in my profile that I prefer the guy to take the first step (as it is supposed to happen naturally anyways).


Bullshit. Women should take the initiative too. Why should all the onus be on the guy? So that the (im)balance of power in the relationship is clearly defined (all in the woman's favor) from the beginning? That's bogus. I've always felt that the way it should work is that the person who faces the least chance of rejection should make the first move in any potential relationship. Rarely, this is the guy.

On another topic that has been raised... I checked on the 'Ask A Girl' forum, and the overwhelming response from women there was that they preferred guys to just delete first contact emails, rather than responding and explicitly declaring a lack of interest. I find it odd that I've since seen so many women who disagree with this.
 justmeinlq
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 46
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Posted: 8/19/2008 9:43:46 AM

Women on POF send messages to Men?


Yup they sure do.
 Valentina744
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 47
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/19/2008 2:28:51 PM

Bullshit. Women should take the initiative too. Why should all the onus be on the guy?


Because it is in our nature. Men are hunters and they want to pursue.

When men are pursued, they lose interest very quickly.

If you are a man, please imagine both scenarios and honestly tell us which one would keep you MORE and LONGER interested in the woman - the one whom you had to work to get her attention and affection, or the one who delivers herself like a pizza to you??

Be honest!

All the rest in your post are excuses of insecure and lazy men to lift their butts and actually be a man for a change. (not only call themselves one). Trust me - you will love it!
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 48
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Posted: 8/19/2008 2:41:12 PM

If you are a man, please imagine both scenarios and honestly tell us which one would keep you MORE and LONGER interested in the woman - the one whom you had to work to get her attention and affection, or the one who delivers herself like a pizza to you??


If everything else is the same? The second one. No games there, she's obviously interested.
 justmeinlq
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 49
Read, but not deleted... Interested?
Posted: 8/19/2008 2:54:50 PM

If you are a man, please imagine both scenarios and honestly tell us which one would keep you MORE and LONGER interested in the woman - the one whom you had to work to get her attention and affection, or the one who delivers herself like a pizza to you??


Amazingly it is the person who keeps me interested not some silly game about who contacted whom first.
 melaniee9999
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 50
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Posted: 8/19/2008 7:48:56 PM
Answer : When to contact again...........when Hell freezes over
You are on the back burner if on any burner at all.
How many men that you were interested in did you do that to?
That is your answer.......
Delete him...........today and spend your time constructively looking for Mr. Right.
You will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince or you can simply delete the frogs instead........Good Luck
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Read, but not deleted... Interested?