| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:19:55 PM | | I find there are not many ladies on this site looing for a long-term relationship in my area on this site that are in their 30's. Most just want to date and not get serious. I am starting to look at women in their 20's and 40's. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:23:58 AM | | If you think its bad on here try it in a pub or club! The majority of 30's women go out with friends on 'girlie' nights & won't leave the group unless their friends pull as well! | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:06:25 AM | | You know as I've been on for a few weeks I think you are right. There are a lot of people who are divorced or married in the age group but not a lot in the other category. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/7/2008 8:08:48 AM | you got that right!
Divorce bad.
Never been married good, very good.
Did you not know that divorced people are even more likely to divorce again?? | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/8/2008 3:51:23 PM |
I found myself wondering that myself. Seems as if anyone emails me, they are either "seperated" (yeah right) or "divorced" and in their 40's. Finding a decent 30 something is hard here! I feel like I'm the outcaste because I haven't been married or divorced and have just been career oriented until now. Where are the 30 somethings?
We secretly moved to south eastern Florida when you weren't looking... now, where are all the women my age? Probably back up north... you just can't win it seems!! | |
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ukyoss
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Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:09:40 AM | | I honestly have in tunrned 30 had alot more ladies try to go out with me then when i was younger . Sadly i think thats based on the fact i am in much better shape now. I wish i could be judged on my mind not my outward apperance. Still i was quite happy when the lady at the kangaroo store asked for my ID when i bought a lottery ticket. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:15:14 PM | | I feel like I am too old for the younger crowd and too young for the older crowd and no one's in between. I havent had this much freedom in a long time, Its kind of a big thing really. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:49:26 PM | | I concur with your findings, and I think it has a lot to do with child rearing which is largely done in one's 30s. | |
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mc608
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Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 61 | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:26:29 PM | | Have you checked the true statistics on single people and ages? I don't think dating in your 30's is the deadzone at all..I've had some of the best dates in my life in my 30's, but I could just be the "exceptions"..lol...I don't know I personally have learned so much more about dating and what I like and dislike in respect to dating and just have it figured out so much better than earlier in my life...Dating sucked when I was younger b/c I just didn't have it figured out... | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:37:33 PM | | You know most people in thier 30's are more cautious and reserved than at a younger age. Most sit around (ive done it too) and wonder where to go to meet decent people. I think we all need to remember that we arent halfway in the grave, relax, and remember how to have fun with the simple things. Honestly my best date ever was about a year ago and we ended up playing in the rain at the playground. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/17/2008 4:45:19 PM | | I think it depends entirely on where you are...i live in a town of youngin's and retirees! There is NO 30 something crowd here! ugh! | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/19/2008 3:46:30 PM |
"seperated" (yeah right) or ...
I'm curious why you think this, historychic? Myself, I've been seperated for nearly a year--seperate homes, seperate days with the kids, seperate household bills....sounds pretty seperate to me. Do you think divorcing couples are typically capable of living together until the papers are signed? If so, what caused one of them to claim "divorce" to begin with?
if as pointed out, 20's and 40's are either pre- or post- divorce, then the 30's are in process. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/19/2008 3:49:54 PM |
I have noticed that are more men in the younger age groups and the amount of men gradually decrease with age. I did a search for all men within 10 miles of my town. It could vary with geography, but these are the results of my search.
25-29 yrs old - 548 men
30-34 yrs old - 404 men
35-39 yrs old - 323 men
40-44 yrs old - 247 men
45-49 yrs old - 231 men
50-54 yrs old - 147 men
The older people are nowhere near as web savy or confident as the younger crowd. Heck, the oldest in that group probably still have 12:00 flashing on their vcr! | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:57:45 PM | I've got about a year's experience in the 30's dating zone and I think that age 28-39 is a slow paced rush to get............... somewhere you don't want to be alone. That's scares me. I had a child young and kids his age have parents who I don't relate to age-wise. My social life revolves around what I relate to outside of parenting and that folks in the 26 to 30 something range who don't have kids, live on their own, are sociable, and pretty self-centered and getting focused in their career.
I'm not ready for a 'settled' family-type of man. I'm not interested in a person who lives moment to moment without a focus. I'm also not interested in someone who doesn't have a good work life balance and little to talk about outside of their work. This is what I have encountered from men I've made it to an offline date with.
I'm a vivrant 32yo and I'm restless.... from meeting this niche of men who suggest we meet for drinks after work, or going to see a movie where we're sitting akwardly close for 2+hours and not talking, or 'hanging out at home one on one'. Dinner is a bummer too, for me because I enjoy extravagant food, wine, and festive conversation lingering around the dinner table-- I need to know he's cool to be with beforehand. At least suggest we meet for ice cream or an walk after work for a change 30-something guys! | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/20/2008 10:20:15 AM | Think that anyone who can merge together 2 broken families deserve a GOLD medal!
Exes can be a real nightmare if they do not get along in the first place!
I dated someone from here for a couple of months last fall and he has an awful relationship with his ex. My ex I were bad for the first few years but we grew up and now get along great. It made things really hard because every other weekend was run by his ex and so unpredictable that we could never make any solid plans. She lived 40 mins away and had a real thing for always being HOURS late to just taking off with the kid. He had a stormy relationship with his ex for 8 years and there was no sign that he was going to do anything about it so I broke up with him. I could not live my life that way.
My issue is between owning a business and having a 5 year old that I have just decided to send to private school in Sept....who has time???
I recently changed my profile to only being willing to date people who are very local. My life this fall is going to be work, private school, piano lessons, soccer, a nanny, a sitter....and and and....SHEESH! It DOESN'T END!
When I do have time, all of my friends for the most part are married. There are not many places to go to meet people my age. Maybe a good soccer Dad this summer...who knows!
Its tough out there!!!!
sigh...
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j600i
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Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 69 | |
| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:54:11 PM | I find it's a bit hard to find people near my age, when I go out to a party I get the 20-something women come and flirt which I find flattering but young 20s women I just don't find attractive any more, not sure why, never thought I'd ever say that! I was working with a really beautiful 25 yr old a month ago and she was flirting a little, only a little as she has a boyfriend!!, but anyway - I was thinking "Wow you're so pretty but I just don't want to do anything other than give you a brotherly hug!"
I find women 30+ more interesting, probably their maturity shows on their face in some way, not sure why. Sure is hard to find that age though. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/23/2008 9:59:24 PM | | I think the thirties are a very busy time in life for most women. They're still rearing children and reasoning with the ex over visitation. When a woman gets into her 40's the kids are usually teens or in college and are able to take care of themselves . This enables mom to get out and pursue her own interest. I think it's the pattern of life. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/24/2008 12:42:44 PM |
People in their 20s are often single and looking , and marry usually a few years before turning 30. People in their 40s are divorced from the people they married in their 20s. People in their 30s are most likely to be in happy relationships
I'm more inclined to agree with this.
I also think many in their 3os just want to stay away from the usual haunts which now are flooded with 20somthings too young for their tastes. Lord knows I meet lots of single 21-25 year old girls, but none of them really appeal to me because I'm in my mid-30s. These girls just aren't mature enough for my tastes.
PLUS...add to the factor that there are a lot of people out there not into children or at least people who have children, but many of the 30something singles you meet will have kids, be it from accident to marriage that didn't work out. Not knocking those who have kids, but more stating for the man or woman hoping to find a childless 30something person...the odds are stacked against you.
I think most of the reason though is that many 30somethings are in their first marriages, which could go for life or crash and burn in 5-10 years. All you can do right now is deal with what you have around you, be open-minded, and don't prioritize your life on "finding someone". | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/24/2008 1:12:47 PM | | I tend to agree that the 30's is the dead zone in dating. The average age of first marriage for women is at 24-25. 85% of women marry by age 30, and while some women don't have their kids until their thirties most have them before then. The divorces don't start until the mid- to late-thirties. When I was in my low- to mid-thirties all the single women I came across were either in their twenties or in their forties. The few I came across who were more or less my age were really the dregs. I know the media has for years pushed the idea that there are all these great women in their thirties who are available (SATC immediately comes to mind) -- perhaps with their biological clocks ticking loudly -- but I've never been able to locate them around here. Maybe in some larger urban areas they exist, but I think it's correct that in most places the thirties are when people are paired up and raising kids. When you're 35 you're too old for the hip/young club scene, but too young for the neighborhood dive bars with their geezers and regulars. The one thing I have noticed which has changed from a dozen or fifteen years ago was how now the singles scene does include people in their twenties, whereas previously it was strictly for the 35-40+ divorced crowd. | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/24/2008 1:56:00 PM | | I think it might just be sad statistics talking here. Most people are still in relationships in their 30's. 40's and 50's more people get divorced and 20's more people are single. Of course, I could be totally wrong! | |
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| Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:21:52 PM | | It's true here's what I have deduced: Those in their 30's have either A. Just gotten married, B. Are seperated or C. Divorced with baggage (and I don't mean kids). :) | |
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