| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:39:12 AM | I absolutely AGREE with the men that have commented after that stupid comment made above by...well you know who you are....you are not independant but rather insecure, you are not a feminist but a freak.
Women like you give the rest of us a bad name and confuse the crap out of men that are just being kind and gracious. They are putting their best foot forward and you are stepping on it....too bad you didn't just trip over it and fall on your face!
My 2 sons beat other men up just to get to the door first to open it for women and the elderly...does that make them bad?? Not at all........and no one has ever told them off whilst they do this simple yet kind act.
GOD...you are such a B!TCH ^^^^^^ | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:04:54 PM | LOL-It has never occurred to me to open a door if a man, any man, is in the vicinity and I have never been failed. I have had to stand for a second or two while he figures it out but from the young teen to the elderly I believe that it is an innate desire for a male to assist a female with opening doors, carrying large packages and roadside assistance etc.
flwoman i don't see the post by anyone claiming indepence...did I miss something? | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:01:16 PM | | Oh, it isn't dead! You just haven't found the right kind of man. A few years ago I was dating a man and one night on the phone I told him about my dryer not working properly. The timer was broken and the heating element wasn't working so well either and it was taking double the time to dry a load of clothes. Well, I mentioned once to him a few weeks prior that I left the side garage door unlocked on occasion...he remembered. That night I came home from work and there was another dryer in place of mine. It looked newer than mine but not brand new. I called him and asked "what's up? I have another dryer here." He said that he came through the side garage door, lifted the garage door and exchanged his dryer for mine so I could dry my daughter's school uniforms for the next day. I was dumbfounded! Thankful, but stunned. He also trimmed my bushes out front that hit him in the face, changed some light bulbs that were burned out in the livingroom, and cleaned out my whole garage that day. An amazing, chivalrous man. Not just a car door opener, and a guy that brought flowers and candy for a date (he did those things too) but one that believed in acts of service. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/22/2008 4:08:27 AM | I do believe some women have confused men on this. I think some men hesitate to open doors anymore for fear of getting their head bit off for it. I can see it in their eyes, that hesitation as they hope they aren't making a mistake. It's so wrong to be nasty to someone who is trying to be helpful. I always say, "Thank you," and make sure he knows that *I* appreciate it. Maybe that will make up for at least one nasty remark he might have received. There's nothing worse than having a door slammed in your face, especially if your hands are full.
By the way, I hold doors open for people, too, men and women alike. Sometimes men will take the door from me. They often say, "Thank you." It's a shame that some women think this is a good thing for equality to be rude when a man holds a door open for her.
One day I did an experiment in human behavior. I was curious how people would respond. I stood at a door to a restaurant that I was waiting to eat at, and I opened the door every time someone came. Some men looked at me oddly. Some men immediately grabbed the door from me. Some men looked a bit annoyed by it. The women usually walked right through without hesitation. About 50 percent of the people said, "Thank you." Try it sometime. I found it interesting, but it seemed that many people were still polite about it. But I'm not a man, so I got no rude remarks from any women.
On the other hand there are lots of men and women, for that matter, who wouldn't hold a door open for anyone. That's just the way they were raised. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:48:31 AM | Hey neyneysmle,
It isn't dead, but home training in general tends to be an endangered species. I was raising 5 children pretty sucessfully (wasnt getting alot of help), before mom had a mid life crisis, she was ten years younger then me. Fortunately two were almost adults and the 14 yr old child chose to live with me. I have to saddly report that everytime I see my youngest two, their general mannerisms and attitudes, well are less then I would expect from my children. They are selfish and rude and inconsiderate. I love them very much, but it is very hard to affect their life's only getting them about 3 months a year with them spread out.
My point is this, its all about home training I was raised to honor and respect woman by my parents and when I got into the world, found a lot of woman didn't respect themselves or me. I am a christian man, that believes I have two responsibilites. First teaching my children to love God and second to respect people, all people.
For me its just that basic and just that simple,
Peace,
Daryl | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/24/2008 12:28:46 PM | Hey notplayin,
That was very well written. I respect every word of your last statement and I feel the absolute same way. I hope that when I become a father that I could be as good a father as you are. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:21:42 PM |
I do believe some women have confused men on this.
Women didn't do cr*ap to men, men did it to themselves. When a man wants to open the door for a woman he should do it and not really give a damn about what she thinks or says. If she says something rude he should just take her ungracious ass right back where he picked her up and just keep on going.
Being a "liberated" woman is no excuse for bad manners in the board room or on a date.
Mean, rude and nasty people of either sex should be left at the curb. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:38:52 AM | BlueEyed Blonde..
I found your words very interesting, I too hold doors for everyone. Those without enough manners to say Thank You get a strong "You're Welcome" in hopes of opening their eyes to their own lack of manners.
If a lady tries to hold a door for me, I am very quick to say Thank You but I will always try to take the door to hold it for her.
As to being on a date and worrying if my date would or would not like me to hold the door for her. It is not an issue, I am holding it just like I am pulling her chair out and standing when she leaves and returns to our table. Being a gentleman is not a part time job, it is how I was raised. "If" a (so called) lady did not like my display of chivalry and manners then she is not the woman for me.
Unfortunately, some women have taken my kindness as a weakness; what a huge mistake.
I have never posted anything on this or any other site, since I could not E-mail you directly it was my only option.
MANnSUN | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:51:28 AM |
Those without enough manners to say Thank You get a strong "You're Welcome" in hopes of opening their eyes to their own lack of manners. A true gift is given with no expectation of receiving anything in return. If you demand a "Thank you" you are indeed asking to be acknowledged but seeking that acknowledgement means you are also not giving freely... not giving graciously. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/24/2009 5:14:56 PM | A true man should always go out of his way to be a man. Just as a man enjoys a woman being a woman. There is always that fine line where a woman could be demanding or controlling by letting it go to far. That point is where the woman just expects and does not return the courtesy with a thankyou or a simple smile.
I may be old fashion but I will always take the heavy packages or anything else from a woman whether it is socially or even at work if I can. I will always drop the woman off at a door rather then have her walk in the parking lot if the weather is not so great. I will even turn the car so the door is on the curve side when picking her up. I have found I cannot always be fast enough at the car door. I think opening a door is subconscious at this point.
We are dating on here, courting by old standards. If we can't do these little things at this point when we are trying to set the tone, how could we be able to do it for the one we eventually love and cherish. A man loves, cares, and protects. A woman nurtures and supports. In return the women make us better men. Old fashion but it has worked for 1000's of years. There were not as many older singles and divorces until it started to fade.
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/25/2009 9:04:01 AM | You sound like a true mensch (good man) Boba.
I have found I cannot always be fast enough at the car door. I think opening a door is subconscious at this point.
I had a boyfriend once who always told me to wait and let him get the door, but I always just opened it myself! He'd run around to my side and I'd be getting out already, but I thought it was sweet.
We are dating on here, courting by old standards. If we can't do these little things at this point when we are trying to set the tone, how could we be able to do it for the one we eventually love and cherish.
Maybe you'd be surprised at the lack of men who think and feel as you do. I hope, and trust with your attitude, you will be successful in finding your true love. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/25/2009 9:32:00 AM |
Old fashion but it has worked for 1000's of years.
Nay, 1000's of years ago, we hit them over the head with a club and dragged them back to our cave. I know. I was there.  | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 1/25/2009 9:33:44 AM |
I dont care how independent she is (and that phrase is a whole 'nother discussion), for her to condem a gesture simply because it was performed by a "man" speaks to emotional issues she carries that self aware men need to run away from.
Froggy, I agree, a simple act of graciousness and good manners should be appreciated, not condemned, regardless of who it's performed by. To me such acts generate respect for that person. | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 3/24/2009 3:14:35 PM | | I think that it has a lot to do with where and how you were raised. I was raised in the south by very old fashion parents so I was brought up to be a southern gentleman. When I was a kid I was told it was my duty to open doors for ladys and say "yes sir " to my elders. Now I dont feel like it is my duty to open doors but my pleasure. I enjoy seeing it bring a smile to the face of a lady or older person. You can often see in thier eyes that it does not often happen. If a lady opens a door for me, I am not offended, I just smile and say"thank you". I think that maybe it is somebody that I have opened the door for in the past and they are just returning the favor. What goes around comes around. Get it? | |
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:09:44 PM |
I think that it has a lot to do with where and how you were raised.
yes, it does. if u live in a northern area, or the big city, you are going to run into a lot of different opinions.
i also see it (chivalry, in the form of door opening, asking a woman if she'd like a drink when u are on ur way to the bar, dropping her off at the door in bad weather, etc) lacking in younger generations.
i have lived on both sides of it, and i believe men and woman are equal, but the some of the old standards serve us well.
what women rebel against is the other ideas that went along with these behaviors "back in t he day"; that women could not handle their own money, own property- did u know that women did not inherit their parents' estate (their father's, in reality). they were not allowed to inherit. women were considered "chattel", i.e. something that is owned, for many years. just as slaves were listed as "chattle", along with horses and other animals. women were considered to be "too emotional" to be physicians or enter a serious profession.
what u are seeign is partly a back lash, and part of walking on new ground.
i heard about feminism at college age. I figured if i was equal to a man, then i could open a door for him, too. my first victim was a man much older than me, probably 60's to my 20, and he was so consternated, he would not go thru the door. he just shook his head no, and would not walk thru. i was like, whatever, that's your problem. i was physically capable of opening the door, so i did it.
i have lived both sides, and i do like when man does the things that to me show respect. not possessiveness. that is the key. i had a man who insisted on opening my car door, like another woman on here mentioned, and he would get angry if i opened it myself.
i open doors for older people, as i would for my grandmother or aunts. those doors can be heavy to open, and it hearkens back to a day for them when that was the norm. and making someone feel good is a perk :)
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| Please tell me chivilry isn't dead.
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:25:17 AM | Chivalry is not dead, because there are a couple of us gentlemen still around. Being a gentleman does not just mean opening doors or walking on the outside of a lady, it runs much deeper than that.
I would like to ask a question of the ladies that answered this. How many men do you know that will stand when you walk into a room? To let you in or out? Even this is just scraping the surface. Being a gentleman encompasses doing no harm to any animal or man, basically treating others the way you want to be treated.
The definition of a gentleman is a man of good family, breeding, or social position, which is not necessarily correct. Breeding, a man of a good family, and social position has nothing to do with being a gentleman. Being a gentleman has everything to do with treating others as you want to be treated. It is more intellect than upbringing. Being gentleman is a dying breed, but as long as we teach what a gentleman is, we will continue.
Now there are women who think they know everything what it means to be a lady too. If a woman wants to be treated like a lady, she must first know what being a lady is. I have run into this problem time and time again, probably the reason why I have been single so long.
The saying goes that every man wants a lady on his arm and a whore in the bedroom, just like every woman wants a gentleman on her arm and a boy toy in hers. There must be a time for everything, but knowing what it means to be such a person is beneficial. It is so easy to play dumb, but so hard to play smart. | |
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