| | Over 50 with younger kids?Page 3 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | I'm one of those, who doesn't want to deal with young children. My sons are grown and out and I'm not looking to start over. After spending many years as wife/mother/nurse/cook/chauffeur, it's nice for my partner and I to be able to relax and focus on each other. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/14/2008 3:41:43 PM | | The most important thing you can ever remember is ALWAYS place your children and their safety first and foremost before any man. No man is worth the sacrifice of your precious children. So many women are so desperate for a man that they allow boyfriends to abuse, maim, and kill their children. I see it in the news every day and I can never understand how a mother could take a man over her own children. If any man ever abused any child of mine, either physically, sexually, or mentally, I would blow their heads off in an instant and never think twice about it. Don't ever let your children become a statistic. Remember that sites like POF are hunting grounds for pedophiles and child abusers. There are so many loney women here that they are easy targets. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:46:05 AM |
The most important thing you can ever remember is ALWAYS place your children and their safety first and foremost before any man. No man is worth the sacrifice of your precious children. So many women are so desperate for a man that they allow boyfriends to abuse, maim, and kill their children.
Let's see how that reads in a slightly different way:
The most important thing you can ever remember is ALWAYS place your children and their safety first and foremost before any woman. No woman is worth the sacrifice of your precious children. So many men are so desperate for a woman that they allow girlfriends to abuse, maim, and kill their children.
Aren't gender-phobia and gender-generalizations horrible things? | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:47:07 AM | If a woman is over 50...and she has younger kids...I would have to assess the situation.
If they were her GRANDKIDS and she had custody because of issues w/ the kid's parents...I would certainly understand that.
If they were her kids and she adopted later in life...or had them at a later age....I my be less inclined to date her.
I've found that older women w/ younger kids of their own are sometimes too permissive and this leads to the kids being brats.
And I don't care for brats.
Bottom Line....Look at the situation seriously before you get into it.
If it looks cool...then go ahead.
If things look rough...bail out quick. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:36:28 AM | | AK TRANSPLANT: High Five! We must never forget the story of the Wicked Stepmother. Women often resent children who are not their own and show favoritism toward their own birth children over stepchildren. Abuse of children can come from a male or female but you must admit, ak transplant, that the majority of "reported" abuse and murder of children is perpetrated by the male species. Sorry, if that upsets you. The point is, anyone with children should be extremely careful who they let inside their home and hearts. Your children are #1, and their safety comes first. No man or woman is worth that sacrifice. If I thought I was falling in love with someone and was thinking of inviting them into my home with my children I would definitely do a background check. Pedophiles can change their identity and use different names than what they are registered with on the sex offenders list. Always check the national registered sex offenders list. To err on the side of caution is better than not to err at all. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:06:44 AM | | I have a similar "problem". I am 55 with a 15 year old. The women my age often are more likely to have grandchilden that age. When I date those, it seems like they are in a different generation. What seems to work for me is to date women 10-15 years younger than me. Not that I am going after younger women, but I just seem to relate better to the ones with kids near the age of mine. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:37:23 AM | I am 55 with a 15 year old.
 I love this place.
Strangely, your profile says you're 52 and that all your kids are over 18. I bet you consider yourself honest too. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/24/2008 12:54:57 PM | lol...good point Arugula!
I am 49 with my youngest who will be 16 in April. I am darned sure I would not want to hook up with a fellow with real young ones. Teens I could handle. But not into diapers, day care and the like anymore. I want to meet a man who is free to do things with.... | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 2/24/2008 1:20:34 PM |
I love this place.
I love it too!! It's amazing, isn't it?
I just wonder when and how these people intend to hide the kids when push comes to shove. You could not pay me enough to even remotely consider this type of a scenario.
I attempted this 5 years ago and did it against my better judgement. It was surely enough to cure me of ever entertaining any further illusions of getting involved with a man who still has kids at home. I will leave this to women who are in the same situation.
Unfortunately, there are no happy "Brady Bunches".
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:25:47 AM | I dated a gentleman who was 48. He had a 6 year old.And a 10 year old son. It did not bother me that he had children. The children lived with him most of the time. What I found was that he really did not have the time to date anyone. Literally! He was very busy with the children. And made a point to tell me on numerous occasions that his kids come first.
Now I respected that. With me having grown kids myself. But this was said to me almost everytime we were together. And alot of dates were cancelled because of the kids. I understood that too.
What I did not like though was the way he constantly would say my kids come first. And no one will every come close.
We eventually stopped dating after 6 months. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/1/2008 1:54:10 PM | I kind of have the opposite problem.....I'm 55 and my daughter is 31......
I've met men in their 50's who have teenage and younger children......and I LOVE kids (I absolutely dote on my two great-nieces)......
But these men seem to want a ladyfriend who can come home from work at the same time every day and help with the kids....and my schedule doesn't allow for that...... | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/1/2008 2:50:19 PM | I already raised my kid to be a well adjusted 22 year old out on her own. I think I am more afraid of ladies in my age group 45 and up that WANT to have kids. There is no way I am doing that again at this age.
What a lot of people don't understand is that having children is the most selfish thing you can do for yourself. You are not doing it for anyone else but YOU!! So, when your "over the hill" and still want to have children there is only one reason, your selfish... Your not truly offering that child a great future to a couple of people the age of "grand parents". What child wants to have parents who will be old enough to be the age of the kids grandparents and who are 70 trying to teach them driver ed. I am not saying those early years are not loaded with fun, but its mostly for the parents. In the later as teens, they want to show what they have accomplished in life, and in many cases one or both the parents will have died or require care by the time your child is trying to start his/her life. I just think its a shame to do that to someone by choice.
I myself have done my job, did the diapers, toddler, sports, all those great things that make your children into a great adult and hopefully a better parent than myself.
So, no at this point in my life, unless that person had older teens I don't think I would want to get involved.
And to those that put "my children come first" in your profile, its very admirable, but I don't want to be last in your life. A better statement or even attitude would be, I love my children and would do anything for them, and I want my partner to understand that our time must be divided between us and my children.
I am only saying, I read many profiles where its clear the kids come first, and we don't need a father....blah blah blah.... But until you are ready to let someone into your inner circle and be part of the whole family, you might as well just do a FWB thing. | |
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¥ogi
| | Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 63 | |
| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/1/2008 3:34:04 PM | Kids that need a sitter and dating don't mix very well. Tried that some time ago and made a point not to have my time wasted again by postponed dates.
Out to enjoy my time with someone and not to be a babysitter. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/2/2008 12:50:55 AM |
I dated a woman 52yrs. old, and she was raising her grandchildern, as her own, and it was different, but i liked her alot, so the kid's didn't matter to me, yeah, i have grandkids there ages, and they would go with me at times, and the kids had a blast, and so did we...that's like a younger woman, if she has childern, and meet's a guy, he has to understand, it's a package deal, her son came back for the childern, and they went to New Mexico, and she later moved out there also, and yep, i missed them when they were gone...
Yes! What a wonderful attitude. This is exactly what I look for in a future partner. This attitude is one of acceptance and unselfishness, and a willingness to be involved because you are sincerely interested in the person you are with. You realize that ladies with children are a package deal.
Most of the time, we are seeking a rare, truly special kind of man who understands. If we cannot find such a man, we're not always that lonely I don't think, or at least I'm not. I'm far too busy keeping up with my nine year old daughter, who is absolutely adorable and the light of my life. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/2/2008 3:55:06 AM | | I'm 47, my children are 7& 9. It's stated in my profile that I have young children. Yes it limits those that are interested, but those that aren't, well they aren't for me anyway. At the moment I've hidden my profile, been had by too many players, my own fault for ignoring the red flags. My children are my priority at this moment in time. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 11:22:33 AM | | I am 52 and have a 30 and 28yo. Married again a man 16 yrs younger and had 2 more kids now 8 and 10. he has since crossed over. i also have 4 grands the same age, what a hoot that was. its been 6yrs since he died and i yet have been on a date and im quite cute, take care of myself. get alot of looks until they realize the kid are mine not grands. babysitters are a huge problem. soo it looks like ill be in my 60s before i can venture out again. its ok, im not lonely, i am my own best friend, im one happy happy girl. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 2:27:24 PM | I'm 53 and have 2 young daughters, ages 11 and 14. They live with their mom, but i treasure them and see them very often. I have had women from POF stop a chat in mid sentence when i mentioned my girls to them. Can you say selfish? Can you say shallow? UNREAL These women have no clue. What the hell do my daughters ages have to do with anything?. Amazes the sh!t outta me.   | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:23:47 PM | 53 with teenaged boys, 15 and 16- been divorced 5 years and the boys have moved in with dad and the girlfriend this past year and will finish High School living with him.
I didn't date at all when we first divorced and the boys were and still are a priority. Anyone taking care of their kids deserves admiration and respect and we (ex and I) always looked at our lives with the perspective that we had great and long single lives-
with travel and adventure that we probably wouldn't have done with children in tow.
Now my boys want me to get back into shape and get out in the world...I am glad that they think that I am pretty cool and would be a good person to be in someone's life...they have said..."mom, you're not THAT old" and they think I play a mean game of pool and killer ping pong...but I digress..
A man with children is not a deterrent but I realize that I don't want diapers and bottles-unless they are the grandkids and can go home and I do understand all of the responsbility and time that school, athletics, scouts, church, camp...etc take up...I did it, I still do it and if the right person comes along...it is all a part of who they are. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:23:21 PM | I find myself in the opposite corner. A lot of the men in my age group have teenagers and some even younger kids and my kids are grown and I have 6 grandkids! I started very young...lol When those men find out I am a grandmother it puts some of them off (although I am not your typical grandmother...lol)
I guess what I'm trying to say is the right person will work with your lifestyle. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:36:53 PM | | Being in my mid fifties with a teenager, I found that many of the women my age had grandkids the age of my child. That just seemed to make them a lot older than me. So, I started dating women 10 to 15 years younger than me, that likely had kids closer to the age of mine, and we just seemed to have a lot more in common. I know some of my friends just think I am going after younger women, but I really do seem to connect with them better. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/6/2008 9:12:27 PM | | I am 45 with a 20 yr old and a 15 yr old. I don't want to date a man with young children for a couple of reasons--I love kids, but am past the point of wanting to raise more, especially young ones. I love babies, but I don't want one for 18 years. LOL. My daughter is the youngest and in someways taken the divorce very hard. She is very protective of me and of her time spent with me. So I prefer to date men with children at least in high school if not older. If I were to find "the one" I would not consider marriage (living together is just not right for me) until she had graduated from high school. Because I am putting her needs first---I, too, am at a stage in my life where I want to say yes lets take a long drive and who knows what time we'll be home--without having to worry about the babysitter or a child who may not be old enough to stay home alone after dark. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:32:52 PM | It's very much an individual choice, whether or not you want to date someone with younger kids (or kids at all). I am [only] 46, and my kids are both grown and out of the house. I make it clear in my profile that I am enjoying my empty nest, and am looking for someone in the same stage in life, or close to it. That doesn't seem to stop the 28 year olds from contacting me, however, eeeeeeeeesh lol (yeahyeah, I know I should put an age restriction on the contact thingy to avoid this ....)
I empathize with your situation, OP, having gone through this when my kids were younger. Dating when one is a single parent is NOT easy, it takes planning and is a major balancing act. For me, it actually was easier to just not date sometimes, but that's not a very fun choice.
I do know there are plenty of men out there in their 40s and 50s with younger kids. More than in my situation, actually. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:13:29 PM | | I've been on both sides of this issue. When I was younger and dating my ex to be, she had a 10 year old child. It's wasn't a big deal to me, at first we dating when he was with his father, then later included him on "family" type activites. Now I'm over 50 with a tween and teen living with me. I expected women to be at least understanding but instead I've seen everything from the "I've raised mine and I'm done" to the "You don't have time to date". I guess that maternal instinct dies out with menopause. So I look for women that are at the same place in life that I am right now, i.e. with kids at home. | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:31:41 PM | | I am 53 and my son is 14. I have 4 more years before he goes off to college and if a woman has a problem with that, there are more out there. The flip side of that is that I met a woman who was 54 and pregnant. That is just toooooooo old for me to have anymore kids. (That woman will be on social security when that kid graduates.) | |
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| Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 5/18/2010 10:53:01 PM | I had to drag this old thread up because I don't want to get in trouble for not doing a thread search.
Okay, sometimes I think I must be crazy to be dating this guy who has 12 and a 14 yr old boys. I don't blame him for not wanting to introduce me to them. It's not good to introduce a string of people into kids' lives. He wants to be sure that we are going to make it as a couple. At times it doesn't bother me because we are together whenever he doesn't have the boys. On his weekend though, all I get are texts which I find to be extremely annoying.
I guess this situation is not all that unusual since this thread mentions a lot of people who are older with younger kids. How long do you wait before you allow someone you're dating to do things with the entire family? | |
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