| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:33:01 PM | I've read every entry on this subject thread tonight . I'm experiencing this first hand myself.I met a man on POF. He is local to me, actually about a 4 minute drive from my home. We emailed, texted and phoned one another. We had a fast moving connection. We casually met in person and I felt immediate attraction; physical, sexual, intellectual, we fed off one anothers humor. It's been a long time since I had such a reaction to a man, the "fit" felt right (comfortable and comforting) and as far as I could tell it was mutual. Just as quickly as the "connection" occured it disintegrated. The plans "in the works" for dates and meetings suddenly didn't get confirmed, wonderful fliratious text messages turned into one word responses and the phone calls went unanswered. I can see that he may have felt "overwhelmed" and rather than being straight with me on what his needs or lack of were, he chose to avoid all contact. I am without a doubt grieving over this loss, the loss of "possibility". I can relate to every description of emotion that has been written in your postings . There is nothing worse than feeling "disposed" of . I personally have to wonder how it is so "easy" to walk away without a word.
Hugs to everyone who has shared. Thank you ..I don't feel so alone with my emotions tonight.
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:09:34 PM | your just weeding em out. thats all. If there like this now, and its the beginning when were all supposed to be on our best behavior just imagine what being in a relationship with that person is like... So if it happens again just take a sigh of relief and remind yourself... your just weeding them out
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:39:40 PM | | Mine was more like an episode of Seinfeld. We decided to have a picnic. So we met at a local park, said hello, he said he forgot to get ice, went to 7-11 and never came back. I tried to contact him but he never responded, but continues to view me daily. He could have at least given me the chicken, right? | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:51:58 PM | | I feel you there sister regarding the fellas checking your profile out on a regular basis...despite the supposed lack of interest. I'm not going to make excuses for people...I've been fortunate to not experience the 'disappearing act' nor would I do that to anybody when it comes to the actual date. It is what it is...I think it also helps being selective and thoroughly screening the person before agreeing on a 'meet'. Take it as a lesson learned. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:22:47 PM | | You're right about that. I have been on several dates where I knew early on that there was no connection, but I did not get up and leave, that's tacky. The main reason that I agreed on the date was because he was close to my own age, and men my own age never seem to ask me out. I don't and didn't lose sleep over it and my friends will never let me live it down. It is pretty funny. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:25:51 PM |  i sure wish i had read these forums before i started a profile of myself, this pond is just like a club i thik i will stay hidden and dormant for awhile.  i will fish while hiding now | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:58:05 PM | message 228 i had the same thing happen to me except it was wendy's. Isn't that too funny??? mine conitued on... this man continued to call and e-mail after he disappeared. i asked him why did he disappear? he told me that he was pulled over by the police blah blah blah....and never made it to wendy's . I said yes you did i spoke to the guy at the counter and he told me that you picked up the order..
anyway....this guy continued calling and even stopped by the house once!!!!!!
crazy!!!!!!! | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:07:41 PM | | Ive had this happen to me too. Was chatting with this guy and he seemed really exsited to meet me. We chatted for a short time and decided to meet for coffee .the day of our date i was working late and checked my email before leaving to meet him and he cancelled on me which is fine he seemed like he had a good reason. he emailed me a few days later to say sorry i said it was fine and that we could re schedule. Then he fell off the map. i was disappointed but at the same time ......what can you do really. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:48:10 PM | | One time I went on a date with a man. We were supposed to go on another date. On the day of the date, he called me. But he didn't leave a message. I called him back and left a message. I figured that he may have been busy at the time. When I arrived at the place of scheduled date, I didn't see him. I called him again and he didn't answer. Then the next day I called him again to find out what happened. I never heard back form him. If he didn't want to go on another date, he simply could have told me that. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:07:24 PM | I think it has happened to everyone at least once in there life time- for the ones that say no , could it be denial? But yes, it is not a good feeling to experience. I agree with the closure part because the mind will always question and wonder what did happen ??... But if you think of it this way, when someone does that to somebody i feel this says more about them than it does you, or me... and thats not a good thing...they ran, with no explanation, nor any closure... this could lead to our mind thinking they are a coward, they are hiding something, lies, maybe even a ego trip for them?? the mind can conjure up a whole scenerio even blaming yourself of what did you do wrong...which was absolutely nothing...
If you put the disappearing act on the person who did this, it was them right ?
so if they could do that to you lord knows what else they are capable of doing and thank god you did not find out....so put it where it belongs, it clearly shows they are not good enough for you... this was a lesson for you to go to the next step of whatever you are looking for, but at least you learned a valuable lesson from it... | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:15:15 PM | now a days itz like COURT
life that is like goin to court
hope for the best, EXPECT THE WORST...n comin from someone who loves 'love' its a tuff assignment , howeva there really is no choice. Face the facts n behave accordingly. Like the lady u r. Not to waste ONE more second ONE more what if ONE more y? for what? waste of time...believe me
kathi | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:53:58 PM | i know exactly how you feel girl same thing happened to myself, since then i have changed my profile and hid my picture. now they actually have to look inside my profile i bet i won't be favorite anymore either, lets chalk it up as their loss our chance to maybe meet a real fish out in the pond. | |
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I purr
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Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 238 | |
| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:01:17 PM | I don't know why it is so hard to say. I just wasn't feeling it. Thought I was but when i got home I realized it was lust. Sorry,
That would make us all feel so much better. Emails, IM... no big deal but after a dagte... it makes us feel really bad when me do this... yeah, I guess when women do it also.
Everyone, treat others as you would like to be treated. The silence is deafening. Be kind to one another. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:24:37 PM | Wow really glad I came across this thread. Recently had my first disappearing experience ever and from POF too! You thought the guy was "crazy" about you, but maybe he was just crazy :-) Good to know that this is not about me. I have dated a bit and usually the guys I meet are really really nice, but I think it was the will of the universe I had to have this experience.
Guess that is life, you cannot control what happens or others do, but you can choose how you react to it and what you can takeaway and maybe improve your life. I'd like to believe that is the optimist in me. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:46:21 AM | "Guess that is life, you cannot control what happens or others do, but you can choose how you react to it and what you can takeaway and maybe improve your life. I'd like to believe that is the optimist in me."
Smart woman! Yes, though completely foreign to me that anyone would behave like this (I most certainly wouldn't take the escape route, but own up-be honest and straight forward). You are right! Instead of accepting that something "was wrong with me", I can put it into prospective that this was just another life experience, one that I will never find an "answer to" and isn't worth feeling badly. Life goes on!
Thanks for contributing | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:55:28 AM | | I know exactly how you feel. I had a three year (off and on) relationship with someone . Children and distance being the reasons for the off and on. Anyway, we have a disagreement and off he goes. We talk on the phone a couple of times, even talking about getting together to talk. He claims he can't live without me, and then poof! He disappeared. He wouldn't return my phone calls or answer a letter. Did he die? Does he hate me? Could he not have said goodbye? Did I mean so little after all? Did I never really know him? Chances are he met someone else and was too cowardly to admit it. Anyway...obviously this was not the man for me, so I got over it, even without the closure, but it hurt. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:17:25 AM | Disappearing act? I have never had a man just disappear on me.
You haven't been on the internet long have you? 
To the Op the man had a hidden agenda be glad you're rid of him
In the future avoid this type of troll at all costs | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:03:42 AM | just em...
The site is back. I just checked it the other day.
I think when you look at the site, it's all pretty subjective. There are many reasons someone might post on there... they were truly played/conned, or they could be seeking revenge, they're jealous, or any number of other reasons. Just because someone's name is on there, shouldn't automatically mean that person is scum. A little benefit of doubt could be in order.
Sharzi
^^^^what site?? | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:43:19 AM | Don't date him girl is the website. I can't pull the site up.
Guys that put their tail between their legs and disappear, leave a text message goodbye or whatever, have real issues. They are not mature adults, gentlemen, or have any class. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:04:44 PM | The ones who disappear normally have no direction to begin with, so if no direction, they have no real answer(s) to give, nor have anything else to give either. They only care about themselves and they usually have a big "L" for loser hanging over their foreheads!
Count your blessings. Move on, you haven't meet the one for you yet.
Cheers!
Chela | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:36:10 PM | | you hit it right on the nose "chellaruse" no direction in life is right, i guess that is what they are really looking for some direction and don't know how to really find it. i guess i will pull up my big girl britches and keep heading in the right direction. | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:10:06 PM | sure you felt hurt but did you ever think that he was not telling you the truth shure yo u may of had a good time with him but did you ever ask the big quesion what do yo u want and are you going to commmit to me me as your partner and i bet you never did my queastion is why didnt you
eric | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:18:16 PM | sorry there are very stupid men out there and this guy is one of them i see you as a woman that is looking for the man in her life cool csalm and collected i bet the guy has no money ang i know now class a woman is to be treated like a woman with class
just buy what you sa send him a massage AND SAY SOMETHING IN HIS TESTIMOIAL
IF HES A GRERK THEN SAY IT
you are way to ounge for me but do not put up this ths sh
eric | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:25:56 PM | i bet you felt no so good the thing about meeting someone is you stand by what yo u say i am from canada and thinggs are a little different here ladies are the boss when it comes to being treated you think the sothern ladies are treated like bells
i would never ever treat a person a woman like that for a bag of ice at a 7 11
to tell you the truth i know how to cook and i would have had everything ready to go some beer and some wine what are you usa girls thinking
eric | |
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| Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:33:07 PM | It's a chicken sh*t way of dealing with someone.
I know because I did this and I felt guilty about it. I met someone through work and we dated off and on for a while, but it was never too serious. I had some reservations about this person before dating them and after we began dating I realized why.
Instead of addressing the issues and being honest, I stopped calling. The other person was a strong enough person that she didn't call me. I never ducked her calls, nor she mine.
Regardless of whether or not my reservations were well-founded, I did the wrong thing.
I saw that person last week when she stopped in to my office. Yes, it was awkward but she played it off as did I. Guilt got to me, so I messaged her, wanting to tell her the truth; that I has been a jerk and I should have called, even to say that I wasn't calling any more, or whatever. She didn't respond...
Yay to her. Boo to me.
I can't speak for every jackass that's ever done it but some people feel it is easier than having to address the "whys." | |
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