| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:09:11 PM | THAT'S THE MAN FOR ME!!!)
 
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Your being awful tough on the girl ! !  I mean to say cum on here....
He took her away for a week,,,, in that time manage to get her drunk enough,, to maybe get laid .. one time....gets her naked in a shower ... 
then doesn't get any,,,   and this guy is HOT ...
Ohellyes she feels guilty..............
wonder what the guy is telling his wife he spent 5 grand on in a week ??
Hmmmmm,, who did the wife do that week ??? | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:25:16 PM | | why are you even asking how you deal with them, their just what they are, you do it, you move on till the next one, not much of a life but hey whats one nighters for anyway...sad people do that. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:33:42 PM | You are all right I needed a kick in the teeth. Sorry I need to correct you I was away at a conference and met him at the conference. Not that I went away with him on vacation.
Just so every one knows I do feel terrible about what I did. I know it was wrong. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:37:15 PM | | I ask of you again. What is it you want advice about? | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:37:29 PM | | Live 'n learn, OP. We all fuk up one way or another during this trip. What you do with the experience NOW is what matters because there's no rewind button. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 6:50:04 PM | he stopped what he was doing, jumped in a cold shower with me, held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently. He sat with me for a long time to make sure I was okay and when I started to get better he tucked me in, turned up my heat and left
Wow.......... What a touching story. I can see why you would want a peach like that in your life. He actually did ~all of that~ for little old you? Seriously...........You must have absolutely no self esteem or morals at all to get mixed up in that sickening mess, and then try to put this jerk on a pedistool. You two deserve each other.... and you better hope his wife doesn't find out where you live or work.
Couldn't help but chuckle after reading your profile requirements for a guy OP. Honesty and loyalty? What a contradiction. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:06:41 PM | Well,.. if it's About feeling bad,.. don't.... feel good.! Personally, I prefer to lay, then
stand,.. but I can do either(laying is MY personal preference though..) | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:49:37 PM | Wow. This is an interesting thread. I fail to see what it is that you want advice about. You have spent some time with a man that you knew that you could not have long term. You are now enduring difficult feelings from this. I am sure that you have been broken hearted before. You will be again. Grow up.
While what you did was not very cool, you did not cheat, HE did!! Frankly, everyone here has done something in their past that they are ashamed of. This does not let you off of the hook by any means! But Take this and learn a lesson.
By the way, the pain that you feel is nothing next to the pain that you assisted in causing this mans wife. You should be ashamed of yourself for whinnning about your pain when the very actions that caused them have harmed someone so much worse and you have the audacity to refuse judgement over it yet feel sympathy for you!!
Grow up. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:49:59 PM | | Never tried it ... so I don't know about it...it might work for some ,not for me. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 6:41:43 AM | NARMouse,
Your profile says you want a loyal man ...
Do you know what that actually means?
Now back to read what the other posters thought ....
Savona | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 7:22:11 AM | If you can't handle it...don't do it
That easy...takes care of the before and after
I for one can TOTALLY handle them...and to my success story...most (all) of my relationships have started out as what I thought was gonna be a one night stand and they actually used the number I have them after wards
*please note: The testimonial is not average results. Personal results may vary | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:31:17 AM | First off, you didn't have a one night stand. A one night stand is, the first time you meet, you sleep with each other. What this sounds like is a premeditated effort in your part and his part. You went away for the weekend, you spent time together, then on the last night you wanted to sleep together. But you blew it because you got drunk. Now you feel guilty, and even more, you are desiring the man even more. That part is normal, women, actually people in general will covet what they can not have. If fact, a typical technique of pick up artist that is so effective women never see it coming is what is called the neg, or negging. Negative reinforcement, or playful teasing to give the woman the vague impression that the man is not interested in her. But it can be done also by not kissing her, or even in this case, not sleeping with her. I don't think this guy did that (not sleep with you) because he knew what he was doing, I think he did it because suddenly his conscience woke up and he asked himself what'ta hell was he doing.
There are two types of married men that cheat. Those that are chronic cheats, meaning you would have been the flavor of the week, and those that have some severe issues on their marriage so they cheat as an escape. The problem with the latter is that, if he cheats with you and leaves his wife, he then will dumb you. This is classic, and happens the same way even when it's the woman doing the cheating.
My advice. Forget this man. Blank him out of your mind. Second, look for single guys. There are a ton of them out there. Either that or be comfortable at being the flavor of the week. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:49:12 AM | It sounds like a learning experience with no penalties other than feeling badly for months to come. Write letters to the other person but never mail them.
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:40:20 AM | well, you know it *was* a one night stand, it's done.. time to cut off all contact and find someone new (and unattached..) otherwise you'll keep living in a dream land (which you've discovered is already a nightmare..)
hanging around someone who is taken already is really asking for trouble, spend one on one time only with people who are single and you won't be faced with this again.. and you'll be able to live with the results of whatever happens much more easily without the fact of the other person being married, on your conscience | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:42:16 AM | If you knew what you were getting into--which wasn't sex, but one time sex with a married man, big difference apparently--then there isn't a single thing to get over. Or deal with.
you KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING. if you thought you weren't going to like it, then don't go there. Just thank the Good Lord he didn't take advantage of your drunken, nearly passed out state. I had a friend who got raped when she changed her mind w/ the guy she brought home while drunk. apparently he was sober enough to know the trouble he'd be in. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:50:55 AM | You are looking for an honest and loyal man? lol Well I really don't think you found one with this chump. If he cheats WITH you, he will cheat ON you.
What you had was a drunken encounter. There was no romance, more like his fatherly instinct kicked in along with the guilty. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 10:53:36 AM | Hello OP.
I know what sort of "advice" you are looking for. You want to know what your chances are that he will still care for you, and that you will be able to break up his marriage.
Hm. Probably good that he will still want to see you again - I'm not so sure about the "caring" part, but I do have to admit that helping you barf your guts out in the shower does kinda go beyond the call of duty for most cheating snakes. So who knows...maybe the guy fell instantly in love with you when he met you at that conference and he'll leave his wife for you. I've known stranger things to happen.
Chances are though, that you are not the first, and you won't be the last...and he's just one of those chronic "go away to a conference and find some mousy insecure skinny chick to bang recreationally while he's there" guys. Lot of them do it. Its considered one of the "perks" of being at that level of business. You get to go on retreats, conferences, trade shows....and the entertainment is always banging....if you'll pardon the pun.
They ESPECIALLY love the aforementioned chicks under the age of 30...cuz they are like you - easy to turn an A ticket ride into an E ticket ride. Hell, all he had to do was hold your hair! HowEVER.....if it is TRUE that he did not bang you...IF IF IF it is true (which I sincerely doubt....but hey, we'll give the benefit of the doubt here)....then either he was new at the game and not secure enough to bring it home to daddy....or else he truly fell madly in love with you in the space of those three or four days.
I have a suggestion.
Call him at home. OR at work. Or better yet, show up at his office, unannounced. Or maybe hang out in your car at his place of business and wait til he drives out and then follow him home and approach him as he gets out of the car. Ask.
Then you'll know. :-)
*smirk* | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 2:33:20 PM | OP:
When I finished reading your post I knew you were in for some less than kind responses ahead. Truthfully I am not to impressed with you myself however, if you take anything away from all this is.......even if you're really into someone and they are married it's best not to go there......we all have lapses of good judgement and hopefully you learn from them and don't repeat it.
As a side note: Some of these post should be taken to heart......they came from people or cats who are very consistent in their advice while others should be taken with a grain of salt. Recommend you view some of the responders other posts to see if their consistent with their advice. This is because after reading one post, she sure seemed to know a lot about how one night stands happen for people who are attending conferences, trade shows and such things........kind of makes you wonder where all the experience came from.....also many post are just the "flavor of the thread" different thread different flavor. Well enough of this.........back to practicing being a cOcky a$$hole . Where my  hope it didn't get warm. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:22:04 PM | sorry...I am confused...you were fooling around with a married guy
You like a guy who is a cheater
you drank too much ...to the point of vomitting and nearly passing out
what is the big problem?
How to talk to him after that?
Wow have you ever got bigger problems honey.
You need self esteem not a script on what to say. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:24:19 PM |
I felt really bad and am mad at myself for getting drunk.
Believe it or not, drunk and barfing was what saved you. You'll be glad for drunk and barfing that night someday. Now you should move on to more appropriate people, IMO. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:40:28 PM | One night stands????........Please........
Married people are "off" limits.....no matter how nice or good looking, or kind and horny, offering or not, wanting or not......read my lips........OFF LIMITS!!
Now.....on to the topic of one night stands......juvenile at best, suicidal at worst with all the STD's, stalkers, mentally ill wacko's, and much more.
If you are hot for another, enjoy them, get to know them, and then tell them that you want more and more means dating, getting tested, and a relationship of mutual trust and understanding.
To let go for one night is understandable.....to let go without being careful for all involved just plain stupid......
Just my opinion........   | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:08:17 PM | You would cheat on another womens husband......don't you know their are thousands of single men that you can be with? You should be greatful you puked!:
peace: : | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:30:42 PM | oh my GOD!!!!
I am willing to bet at least half of the people on here crucifying you have done something like this or close to it.
First of all....if you didn't have sex with him, you can't call it a one night stand. Second, HE IS THE ONE WHO IS MARRIED and HE should have the responsibility of not hurting his wife. You are single and have the freedom to do whatever, is it right? NO, but seriously you don't deserve to be crucified like this. Some man whom you never met before, who is attending the same type of conference as you are and has most likely attended other conferences....I would say pretty good chance he has done this before.
I don't know you, and I don't know him, but if I were you and a married man was willing to make out with me and do whatever....I wouldn't put it past him to have done it before.
Look, you are not special to him. You were an interesting attraction while he was "away on business".
I think you just need to forget about him. Keep whatever memories you want and make you feel good, let the guilt go i repeat: IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! IT IS NOT YOU WHO IS IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. And if you look at what HE DID to his wife, I wouldn't waste any time thinking about him.
Seriously people...you act like this has never happened before. OH and WOMEN: Give me an f'ing break...its HER fault the SOB wanted to cheat on his wife? Seriously?
Dear God! aren't we all just the perfect little women.
How completely assenine.
He was being nice to you because he wanted in your pants. Write it off to experience. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:34:20 PM | | Can some of you women not get a single guy to date you? The only thing the married ones want is a one-night-stand, or a few, but nothing more. The selection is slimmer for women who will sleep with a married man, so they settle for anything they can get. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:56:20 PM | Sigh.
Ok. you are educated, so you already know what I'm about to tell you. So I assume you just want to spin the wheels a little and let yourself dance in your heart.
There is nothing to deal with as far as one night stands. I don't know about you (actualy I do as it's the same for everyone) but I go into all romantic situations with my eyes open. I know what happens with alcohol, dinner, dancing, movies, DVD's, etc. I know that a single kiss can lead to bed very fast. I know that desires can overide almost anything. And I'm sure you do also.
So as far as the I had a few too many, or the I don't what I was thinking, or the I was swept with romance beyond reason, that's all bullshit. If that had man had told you he had AIDS the breaks would have been on very fast. No rose colored romance no more.
Dealing with one night stands is a black and white issue as you're doing exactly what you want. No one is forcing you, you have control over your body, there is nothing to feel bad for. I don't believe you're mad at you for getting drunk, because if you didn't want to you wouldn't have. There is no responsiblibty for you but you, you did everything on your own accord, so you have to deal with. So that leaves you, and everyone else else who does one nighters, facing your (one's) actions. | |
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