| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 8:18:20 PM | Personally, I prefer to lay, then
stand,.. but I can do either(laying is MY personal preference though..)
Hm...Really? Kinda hadya pegged as a perfect 'Up Against the Wall' candidate ?
Well, AnyHo ...
Always looove the 'Backtrack 2 Step boogie'
"I went away with him for a week"
"Oh, Wait! No...I was Away ata Conference ... YA - A Conference (dats IT)"
WhatEver.
OP did some sloppy sloppy *snooky snooky* with an 'Already Snagged Suitor' , now wonders...um - WHAT is it she Is 'wondering'?
"WHY she can't stop swooning over a 'Committed Cassanova' , that held her Beuafant up,outta the way of her Buffet??" (yah, i know - spelling *pfft*)
Well, HE11 if we know. Even IF 'someone' Was 'well versed' in such matters? I highly Doubt they're gonna 'Out' themselves For OP's benefit.
Maybe if ya'll woulda got a lil 'Doggy Action' goin - while he AlReady had yer Curls Clutched, in the Shower? A lil *slippy sliiidy rubby dubby* in da shower with the soapy soapy? Hey, the *wretchin,heavin* whilst you was a *pooky pookin*? Just a lil extra 'buck -n- chuck'?
THEN? Would OP be havin a lil 'easier' Time?
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/3/2008 8:30:57 PM | HOW DO ALL THE MARRIED GUYS GET DATES AND I CAN'T EVEN GET THE TIME OF DAY?
I think many women let themselves get into these situations because they want to do so
for many reasons such as ......
he's cute, he wants me,he's sexy,he has a motorcycle,he say's he will leave his wife for me,he has money(to buy me drinks so I dont have to spend my money) etc etc, | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:31:23 PM | HOW DO ALL THE MARRIED GUYS GET DATES AND I CAN'T EVEN GET THE TIME OF DAY?
It's 5:29 p.m. oops........5:30p.m. Happy now? | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:40:58 PM | | I am not into one night stands. I am just not. I have had them but not by choice. I was duped a few times by women that I thought were interested in more than that with me. And then no calls. I did not persue any until my last break up, but no it was not the answer and it cost me the friendship I had with the ex. We all make mistakes oin judgement. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:41:41 PM | OP, I never have one night stands, because I believe that there aren't ever any "no strings" relationships. I feel that I am worth more than that. And YOU are worth more than that too!
IMHO, one-nighters make one feel like they prematurely gave a part of themselves to someone who wasn't deserving of it. Or, in the case of an affair with a married person, took something for which they had no entitlement.
I know you feel quite contrite about it now, and am sorry that you and others have been hurt. So please dust yourself off and carry on with your life. Live and learn I guess.......
Be well......... | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:48:59 PM | I cannot get over the agonizing cruelty, from most posters' all I can gather is>>>
you ready>>>>>>>>>>You hate this woman because someone one time or another
slept with yours' a ha!
I believe she came on here for some support , whether or not you accepted her
choices. May he/she without sin, throw the first stone!!!!!
Hearing about the poor wife, and the wretched bi*** who slept with her husband;
what about the filthy rotten man , who doesn't give a damn about anyones feelings,
his wife's or potential one night stander>>>> He is the one that premeditated this one!
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:03:12 PM | Hey, don't let any one else give you any garbage for what happened. I think one night stands are perfectly acceptable in certain circumstances. What are the circumstances? I'll be darned if I know, but I can assure you over 60 % of married men cheat and I'd do the same thing if I was in his shoes. Yeah, i got it the wife at home, the kids...the kids have nothing to do with it and if the wife at home was doing her job, the guy wouldn't have cheated.
When would you like to meet? I'm single!
Sincerely,
the fireman
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:17:58 PM | I'm sorry.. but you are full of crap.
I don't think women should chase married men too and whenever I've been propositioned by a taken man, I've declined. I will not knowingly sleep with a married man who's still in his marriage.
I hold the MEN more accountable though. HE is the one who's got a ring on his finger, HE's the one with a wife and kids at home. HE's the one committing adultery. He's the one lacking character, honor and respect.
I think any woman who sleeps with a married man deserves the heartache she receives. OP - You have to forget, forgive and move on... sorry. Do you really WANT a man who cheats on his wife? Think about it? I'm sure you deserve better than a cheating man.
azwolfeyez - you're opinion is antiquated and narrow. It sounds like you've been cheated on before. Well so have I and I have no respect for the women, but I blame the man for his actions... he's the one who's broken my trust, not her.
That's MY 2 cents...
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:29:37 PM | Hi,
Your question was....How do you deal with one night stands, before or after the fact?
I think you are confused from your experience and fantasising this guy emotionally, rather than seeing the complete reality.. otherwise im sure if you are feeling as bad as your saying , this experience would of answered your own question to you.. learn from this experience, then the answer would be... BEFORE THE FACT... because one night stands are not about caring/love etc... that would be at least 2 nights,,,,lol im kidding..
ok reality check,' possible only' scenerio.... married guy/kids... has children and it would seem alot older than you and more experienced.. has the security of a family/love at home, so appears quite confident(nothing to loose in self esteem ), as oppossed to men who are so lonely/needy(dont get dates cause woman can smell that desperation)
conference time , he gets to 'chase' .....pretend hes single, but honest enough(in making sure you understand..... no relationship will come out of playing with him) he tells you hes married...
your thread says.....
you said....."Ok so first I want to point out I KNEW what I was getting myself into."
so.... so far everyone knows the rules/the game.. Your both aware at dinner(drinking enough to go through with it... cause real intimacy/ love...hun you dont fuel up and numb on alcohol, to dull your integrity etc...)
you said........
'So I had a few too many and we fooled around alot. I got really close to passing out and he stopped what he was doing, jumped in a cold shower with me, held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently. "
ok once again hun tell your emotions/fantasy of this guy, thats not love.. that just means the guy isnt a rapist, he didnt just have sex with you passed out...
Im thinking from what you say though, if you hadnt nearly/passed out etc you would of had penetration..
ok. so just think from a guys point of view....' scenario only.'... omg she passing out, shitte if she dies, Ill be found here, (my kids/wife will know, ill look like a total arsshole and my lifes over...) grab her put her in the shower.. make sure shes alive //ok. instantly turned off..erection gone... shes vomitting. gross, no longer interested in sex... but im not a creep im a decent human being, I better look after her.. after all, what if I just walk out and leave her vomitting, passed out and she wakes up thinking im a creep that will get around work... etc.. or dead my dna is on her.
no offence, but I doubt .......if he hasnt called you. chased you down nonstop contacting you,..... cause he feels the same emotional thingy you are... Im guessing he feels lucky your alive/he didnt get caught.. and your vomitting(such a turn on) stopped him from going further.. hopefully He learnt and wont betray his wife again..
be careful of what seeds you put out as in honesty etc because guilt. can sit in you and one day you might meet someone and be scared that some person might just try it in your marriage...(thats just spiritual law).(guilt can cause fear. subconcious punish self..ie you can attract what you fear). (whats done is done, its wasted if not learnt from )
WE DONOT KNOW THE EXACT TRUTH?FEELINGS OF THIS GUY SEE THAT HIS BEHAVIOUR MAYBE WASNT LOVE ( I hope seeing a' possible flip side' helps you deal with the fantasy/emotions your reliving)
IF he truly did have strong emotions for you, instead of tucking you in and leaving(He made sure you were alive and not going to choke in your sleep, )....... he would of spent every second he could with you, he would of crawled in beside you and held you all night.. knowing that you only had a short time together..
you answered your own q, hun you made a mistake, forgive yourself by learning/seeing ,,, and not putting yourself in the position again...
good luck.. change the fantasy about the guy, and move on , be kind to you..
smiles/peace | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:38:52 PM | ahhh.. nothing like a good pucking just in time to show you that it's the Universe's way of telling you that what you're about to do is a Big Mistake. 
So I had a few too many and we fooled around alot. Hope you're barfing wasn't due to certain techniques during this "fooling around" alot.
Anyway... my opinion: You realize you did something that was against your better judgement... the guy is not worthy of taking up rent free space in your thoughts...
Your profile mail settings show "Must not be married".. This makes me think that you don't know what you want or where your head is at as far as relationships go. What a great way to get your heart broken.
Step away for a bit, get your head screwed on straight and forget about what happened while you were away. I doubt if he's thinking much about you. Keep telling yourself that.. eventually it will sink in. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 5:44:49 PM | well looky looky, another 'Man of the Year' 
are you sure you put the fires out? or start them?
the fireman>>>>.
But hey girls, he's single>>>>>>>>>>>>>just make sure you do your job!
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:42:38 PM | I just want to know why people don't thoroughly READ the post before jumping all over the OP?
90% of you are so off track its not even funny.
This thread is a perfect example of why people have such a difficult time communicating with one another.
This whole thread is ridiculous.
You know, all we really needed to tell her was that she DID NOT experience a one night stand. She NEVER had sex with him, probably because she was drunk and puking but she NEVER had sex with him.
He, on the other hand could very well have premeditated getting her drunk so he can sleep with her. OH yeah and they DID NOT meet on this site, she DID not take a trip to visit with a married man. So her request for no contact from married men should show you all it isn't who she is as a person.
And have you all noticed she mentions not having had anyone EVER treat her so well?
Ladies, the guy "takes care of her" cause he wants in her pants....he is going over the top to get laid....and He is married and not thinking about his family.....
Oh and one more thing: Enough with the BS about showing respect for some woman whom she did not even know....She got taken advantage of ...and this dude has done this before.
MEN will not stop cheating. Period. Get used to it...its been this way for as long as we've crawled out of the damn cave. The few who don't, are going against nature. Its sad but we're really not made to be monogomous...it is a religiously based idea imposed by society.
Whatever, I am quite frustrated by the small minds on here.  | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:56:08 PM |
(OP) I felt really bad and am mad at myself for getting drunk. Now I can't seem to stop thinking about him.
How do you deal with one night stands, before or after the fact?
I'm not quite clear on what you mean. Are you "mad at yourself" because you were drunk and missed the sex? Take consolation in the fact drunkeness has resulted in many failed opportunites world wide.
If you are "mad at yourself" because you liked the guy and feel he's disappointed in you. Same advice as above.
If you're "mad at yourself" because it went as far as it did there's an old song by Elvin Bishop which goes,
I must have been through about a million girls
I'd love 'em then I'd leave 'em alone
I didn't care how much they cried, no sir
Their tears left me cold as a stone
But then I fooled around and fell in love
I fooled around and fell in love, yes I did...
And then there's this one,
We've been meeting here so long
I guess what we've done, know it's wrong
Please darling, don't you cry
Let's just kiss and say goodbye
Now many months have passed by (I'm gonna miss you)
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie, oh no (I'm gonna miss you)
I've got ties and so do you
I thing this is a thing you do
It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie
Maybe you need, you need another guy
Understand me, won't you try, try, try, ...
Let's just kiss and say goodbye
Ahhh, yes. The heartbreak and the heartache. And then there's Mary MacGregor's lament,
You musn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you
Torn between two lovers
Feeling like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Yep, affairs are messy things. They tear the heart out of not just the spouses but also the people directly involved. Be gentle with yourself. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:50:29 PM | Kudos to "DJ Dave1234" Hopefully your tunes have calmed "lianapet's" nerves.
You know, all we really needed to tell her was that she DID NOT experience a one night stand. She NEVER had sex with him,.
Actually.. she was asking us how to get the guy out of her head.
She NEVER had sex with him, probably because she was drunk and puking Yes.. seems that “Ralph” stepped in and saved her from herself.
He, on the other hand could very well have premeditated getting her drunk so he can sleep with her..
From the OP:I knew where it was going and so did he and maybe I shouldn't have let it get as far as it did seens how he's married Hmmm. Doesn’t seem like he had to do much premeditation to me!
OH yeah and they DID NOT meet on this site, she DID not take a trip to visit with a married man. So her request for no contact from married men should show you all it isn't who she is as a person
Since she does not seek a married person, yet she chose to hook up with one anyway, just shows me she’s confused.. This is not a judgement.. just an observation.
this dude has done this before.
I certainly agree that could very well be the case.. Not sure though cause I don’t know him.
Whatever, I am quite frustrated by the small minds on here. Me thinks thy protest too much!
I think OP wanted to be scolded ~ why else would she provide us with soooo many details when (as you say) all we needed to tell her is that she did not have a one night stand.
However; in my previous post, I tried not to judge but only to council. I do wonder though what her idea of "not sex" means. I'm sorry but Monica Lewinski is coming to mind *apologizes in advance * | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:31:47 AM | I had to read fireman's post over a few times and was amazed. I think we've now found the "missing link". Cheating is how spineless cowards deal with the issue. Instead of being man enough to face down the problem and either work to find a solution or to say enough and end the marriage, the coward slinks off to a dark corner and gets his jollies.
On the issue of one night stands, I firmly believe that this is yet another aspect of life that we tend to over think. People, we have instincts, so use them. If your gut tells you that it's OK then it's OK. If you're stressing about it, then the conditions likely aren't right and you shouldn't. The important aspect is that both people need to be clear right up front that it's a one night stand and not to look for or expect more.
In my limited experience, the one factor which makes a one night stand either OK or regretful, is respect. If the respect is there then both people walk away pleased. If there's a lack of respect (usually one sided) then somebody will be left feeling used. Use your instincts folks. They're there and should be trusted. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:38:22 AM | I didn`t read any of the other replies and didn`t check with the moral police but here`s my opinion.
You are 25 and you can do whatever you want.You are not the one thats married,so that`s his problem to deal with.
Don`t be mad at yourself,you had a good time and you like him so go for it.Just keep in mind that he isn`t yours to keep so don`t get too attached.Sooner or later you`ll have to give him back. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:58:10 AM | I try not to have a one night stand. It has happened a few times in the past but I try to avoid them as much as possible. If I feel like it's only going to be a one time deal then usually I just don't do it. Sometimes I thought it was going to be the start of a relationship, though, but it turned out that she didn't want one.
Ed | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:04:00 AM | Mogrl42,
you came on here for advice.........read and walk away with what has been said......some angrily......and hurt from women like you that have been with a married man..........when my ex cheated on me...oh, how angry I was at the "other woman"...........however, the first and for most should have been my ex........
my advice.............once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat..........if you would get together and that's a big IF.........you are just another one in his pool
you state you are young and stupid...........please listen to the seasoned women and some of the men here......
be smart......take care of yourself....move on...there are some great guys out there....who will be just as caring or even better......he's NOT worth you....
from your pic you have a small baby....deserves a better man in his/her life then him
you are a dime a dozen to that guy.......for there are so many women out there that are blinded by sweet talkers that THINK he will leave his wife....oh, he will leave her because WE will kick his sorry butt out!!!!!! then you will hook up and be on here asking for advice on "how to deal with my cheating boyfriend/husband"
just take a deep breathe and forget this loser!
just my 2 cents worth! | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:09:53 AM | | I think getting involved with someone who is married is a pretty foolish indiscretion, for both parties involved. Ultimately I think the best lesson here is to avoid this type of situation in the future and also be wary about giving in to impulses and the temptations of the moment. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:30:51 AM | you helped a man cheat on his wife?????? that is low sorry but just imagine if you were the wife that is a sleazy thing to do to
IM NOT SAYING YOUR SLEAZY IM JUST SAYING THE WHOLE SITUATION IS SLEAZY AND SHALLOW!
IV READ YOUR PROFILE AND YOU SEEM LIKE A SMART WOMAN BUT WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:46:55 AM | Luv, not judging as I am not lily-white by any means, but the truth of the matter is move on because the bad thing about being the 'other woman" is that you get to suffer in silence, no matter how nice he was that night, he is not yours.
Maybe it was an omen that you shouldn't have been there in the first place ... I have been in your shoes (with my childhood sweetheart of all things ... we met up years later, and even had a year and a half affair and the man still calls me!!! ... I don't go there anymore - wanting a NORMAL life) and the outcome is rarely in our favor.
Get over him, if he were going anywhere he would have done it before he decided to start spending time on you ... if there is a bright side know thata if he is willing to do it to his wife, then he'd do the same to you in a heart beat - go find something in the same package that isn't quite so rotten :) | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:48:11 AM | Hmmmmm ...Thinking this chick.. needs to read her own profile
haha | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:18:50 AM | | never had to worry about dealing with a one night stand, or screwing another woman's husband. come on, how low is that? the only thing you have to deal with is looking at yourself in the mirror. You felt bad about getting drunk, but not about being with a married man? He is taken. you knew that from the beginning. You just want something you cant have. | |
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:28:30 AM | Hey Dave1234,
You forgot the two greatest classics of all.
"Me and Mrs Jones" and
"Third Rate Romance, Low Rent Rendezvous"
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| One night stands??
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:40:11 PM |
held my hair up while I threw up and rubbed my back ever so gently.
hahah, rubbed my back ever so gentley, that's pretty fruity. | |
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