| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/3/2008 2:47:05 PM | | Why would you give away your power that way? Self respect doesn't cometh from conquests my friend. Self respect is generated from within...self respect is something that your girlfriend has in SPADES my friend. If she did not have any self respect, she would have slept with you much earlier. She has enough self respect to not give in to what you want and instead wait until she's ready....now that's what self respect REALLY looks like. Good Luck. | |
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JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 55 | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/3/2008 3:46:08 PM | | at least you know why there getting upset with you now....but ya saying you expect women to put out after so many dates yup its gonna annoy lots cause when people say that they might as well go for hookers instead of dating...if the women your dating respect themselves there going to make you wait and prove yourself before anything happens. | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:06:04 PM |
I could not figure out why everyone was so angry with me. I now realize why this is the case. I failed to realize that my topic might be offensive to some people.
The topic isn't offensive; the attitude is. As I see it you posted because you wanted support for dumping the woman when you didn't get laid after six dates. That validation hasn't been forthcoming and that appears to have upset you. Did you really expect to get some sympathy because you didn't get laid right away? | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:25:47 PM | Ok so I have to play devil's advcate here and side with the OP. Yes there is a point in which you become the door mat for a potential mate to walk on. If you are spending a lot of money on her and the only thing you want in return is sex then yes, you have lost your self respect. You have been **** whipped. You are doing every thing for her and getting nothing in return. Could be that she just doesn't like you and wont tell you or that she is just that type of woman. (Men do this to but in the opposite, they provide the sex which is what they want but none of the financial side of the relationship, IME) . Maybe she is using sex as a power tool to string you along. While I dont think six dates in two months is all that much, if she(or you) have a schedule like mine, then it could be a lot of available free time spent together. I know a lot of people on here talk about waiting for long periods of time to have sex, but your 22 and theoretically she is same age or a few years younger, so yea then 2 months and six dates seems like forever. I would ask her what the deal is...Does she like you? Is she attracted? See what is up....maybe she's a virgin, maybe waiting til marriage, maybe she is a man....ask and if nothing else what do you have to lose other than a relationship you are not happy in anyway!!
And I understand where others are saying self respect comes from waiting....but thats not for everyone...there comes a point for some where you say damn it I am a sexual person, I have sexual desires, and I dont care if society labels me as easy/slut....I am going to be happy!! | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:38:06 PM | | OP let her go..she's too good for you. She's stuck it out with you for six dates in that length of time...likely hoping you'll make a move, yet wondering why you haven't... You're projecting your own weakness on her, and making her wonder why she's stuck it out "so long". Best wishes to you...I'm sure you'll find some taker to be with at some point.... | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 6:13:52 AM | | JW...you say "At this point, she should know if she wants to have sex with me or not" but isn't the question "At this point, do YOU want to wait anymore"...How can you know when she's ready? You're not in her head & don't know what her issues are... .on the other hand, I know where you're coming from and would expect that if it didn't happen within a reasonable period of time, which in my opinion could very well be as little as two months, you need to make the decission whether or not to hang in there a little longer or move on to other prospects. You could certainley be dating others during this period too....If you feel you've waited long enough, then it's time to just come right out, be honest with her that...If you feel no girl is worth waiting for this long, than obviouslylong... this is not "THE ONE"... | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 6:43:18 AM | I think you might miss what it means to like/love someone: RESPECT their FREEDOM to choose. It is not to get what WE WANT (craving, libido, well-being...). As long as you go with someone for the main purpose of satisfying yourelves, you might not be ever happy in a relationship. Yes, it is a give and take, but a person's WILL and CHOICE are nothing we another being can tapper around.
Anyway...take time to meditate and see what you really want out of her or your relationship...sex??? | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:11:28 AM | | You feel like you're sacrificing YOUR self respect? And no girl is worth waiting this long for? DUDE!! Get over yourself. You like this girl? Then what about her self respect? Why don't you step outside the box for a few minutes and think about someone other than yourself? Jeez it's idiots like you making it so hard for a truly good man to find a good woman. | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:08:52 AM | render is right to often :P I havnt been trolling these forums for long but his input is generally good! Lol
on this topic, if your with someone just for sex I would think that its time for you to find someone else
Sex will never be "amazing sex" if its not with someone you could care less about | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:35:32 PM | I'm not thinking about her making you wait. I'm think about WHY. If she doesn't like sex then she's still going to giv you a hard time AFTER youve had sex the first time.
If she doesn't like sex then she doesnt like sex. Unless you want to live like a monk then dump her.
If she doesn't believe in sex before marriage (I've knowns several girls like this) then she would be hell bent on hauling you to the altar first and then hauling you into the bedroom with just as much enthusisam. | |
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roddw
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Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 73 | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:59:56 PM |
This is the longest I have gone dating a girl without getting sex. I like this girl a lot, but I feel like I am sacraficing my self respect by waiting more than 2 months.
I'm too busy to look at your profile, but I'm guessing you are a young man. I remember young men . At the time they scared me with their sexual needs when I had things to worry about like reputation (would not have wanted to be labelled a "slut" you know), pregnancy, STDs, very conservative parents.
Now I'm old enough to know plenty of men who "just don't feel like it" more often than not...for some reason the horrors of women growing older are well-known (wrinkles! grey hair! hot flashes! can't have kids!) but those of men are taboo to talk about.
Someday, if you are one of the unlucky ones, you'll be able to get it up at best once every Christmas ;) And if you drank a lot or smoked a lot maybe not even that!
Won't you want your life partner to stick around even though your stick no longer works?
Just askin'.
In the meantime, I guess someone needs to introduce you to Ms. Rosy Palm. | |
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| At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 2/11/2008 7:08:04 PM | | You loose it the moment you rely on only one woman to get sex. Dump her immediately and start having sex with someone else, preferably one of her friends, bonus points if she thinks her other friend is hotter than her. You're nothing but a pansy in her eyes now anyway. You should always have a steady stream on queue for girls who "want to wait". Get your act together man. | |
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