| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 2:53:45 AM | When this guy gave me his number, I actually thought It was a spcecial thing that he wanted to get to know me over the phone rather than the email, IM, then phone then meet process, which is my normal one also, but the lazy jerk, just gives it out to whomever just cause he can't type well, he had anything to say. Terrible conversationalist, it was like pulling teeth, I wasted my time on that phone call, I work nights, I could've stayed in bed..lol. I don't diss people who are learning to type, we all had too, but I'll be more cautious next time...and tell him why don't we chat though IM or just email me, which gives him lots of time to type what he wants to say. If he's truly interested he'll take the time to type it, slow typist or not. If it comes down too it, there's a way to block cell phone numbers, just have to find out how...
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 4:47:29 AM | | i have gave my number to men and they usuallly alwasy call. so i have not had that problem. myabe u are offereing it way too soon. maybe they assume u give it to everyone. there really is no way to know. but regardless u should know the person for awhile before giving phone number to begin with. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 6:09:08 AM | Personally, I'd rather talk on the phone too, shortly after finding more than passing interest, for some vital reasons, L4Y45: The big issue for me is that IM'ing and emails give the other person plenty of time to choose their words wisely. It's so easy to sugar-coat answers and/or hide some things by texting/IM's/emails. But talking live gives you a sense of the other's personality, to give each other a better idea of the sincerity level. Some say that giving out numbers is dangerous. For something as important as dating and getting to know each other, I'm sincere and confident enough that resisting the chance to talk is counterproductive to my own goals. I don't need virtual friends and dates, my goal in my life is a solid relationship. There's no potential interest if they don't want to see how simple live one-on-one communication can work between two people.
My eyes actually sparkle when someone I'm interested in chatting further with truly comes out and asks for my number! To me, that's progress. If there's no connection, it's not at all a waste of time. Sitting alone in front of hardware, pounding away at keyboards to me, is. In all that time, 5 phone calls and 2 lunch dates could have cut through all the extra time and lack of information that IM's and emails serve, which is only for initial contact. I can understand if someone's been on the receiving end of something as heinous as stalking. But more people simply seem paranoid, and that's not normal behavior to me. So, no need to feel stumped. Those you chat with may have ulterior motives, but you shouldn't even explore why. Just move on. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:29:56 AM | From my experience with on line communications, I prefer talking on the phone to ascertain if the person is really interested in pursuing an IRL relationship. Though new here, I've experienced woman who want to restrict communications to messaging or IM. None of these turned into more than exchanges of niceties.
I decided that if a woman does not want to talk on phone briefly, followed by a meeting, something must be wrong. Married, not wanting to be in a real life relationship, hermit, they are exceptional writing but lack verbal skills in communicating, not same person as in photo..... I wasted too much time communicating via Internet only. There is more to life than sitting in front of a PC for an hour when the exchange can be done in 15 minutes over a phone.
Just my 2 cents ..... | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:38:10 AM | | There's nothing wrong with giving out your number. It has never scared me off when a woman gives it to me. It's a lot better than just hoping the person will be online that day. People have lives away from their computer and it makes for sense to conversate on the phone. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:18:29 AM |
I actually thought It was a spcecial thing that he wanted to get to know me over the phone rather than the email, IM, then phone then meet process, which is my normal one also, but the lazy jerk, just gives it out to whomever just cause he can't type well, he had anything to say. Terrible conversationalist, it was like pulling teeth, I wasted my time on that phone call, I work nights, I could've stayed in bed..lol.
I'm not understanding your complaint. I would have been more angry if you emailed for awhile, then IMed for a while and after all that time you see it all was a waste b/c he didn't have good phone convo. You should be thankful he saved you a lot of time and showed you that he wasn't the one very quickly. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 3:10:45 PM | | I don't give my phone number out very easily. First of all, if I gave it to everyone who asked me for it, I'd have a thousand people calling and I wouldn't know who is who. Secondly, seems a little crazy to be giving out your number to guys you have no clue about. Get to know them a little first - chat in email. Can't hurt. Besides, if you give your number out too easily, and find later, you don't care for the guy, he's got your number. How often do you plan on changing your cell phone number? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:32:09 PM | I just read through all three pages because I wanted to see if anyone mentioned the methods I use regarding phone calls....One or two did, but gave no explanation.
For those of you who do NOT know....by giving out your phone number, someone can get all the information they want about you. I know...My daughter showed me how....She came up with my address, an aerial view of my house, and directions to my doorstep. And, she did that at no cost...can you imagine what you can find out if you pay the fee for phone searches.
Blocking your number. Simply dial *67 directly in front of the number you are dialing and when the call reaches the other party, it comes in as "Restricted". This is the method I use, but let me explain. There are times when I've been contacted by a man and, although he seems interested in getting to know me...there are long pauses between messages...and, often 2 or 3 word answers.
He may be chatting with more than one of us ladies at the same time. Yes, he is entitled to do so, if he wishes...I feel it is rude and I ask, telling him that I will be happy to have him contact me again when he's not busy....because I, myself, find it difficult to concentrate on 2 men at the same time. If that is not the reason, he usually tells me he's not the best typist. That's MY cue to ask him if he'd rather talk on the phone.
Most of the gentlemen are overjoyed at this and gladly give me their phone number. I always explain that I use the Blocking procedure as a safety mechanism, but I will only make an agreed upon call at a particular date and time so he knows who is calling.
Again, most men are pleased, and praise me for seeing to my safety. On 2 occasions men have told me that if I'm keeping that a secret, it makes them wonder what else I'm hiding.
That ends our messaging, but not before I let them know that we would not be compatible, because they were unable to put their sister, daughter or mother in my position and appreciate the fact that they are guarding their safety.
Now, I agree with the posters who feel that immediately, or alternative numbers or im addresses are a bit intimidating when received and I prefer to take that step when I feel comfortable that I do, in fact, want to continue conversation with this new contact.
I hope that this post is informative and helpful to any who wish to use this method. It would be nice to receive feedback from the men as to how they feel about this, and about the approach.
Sincerely,
Knittin Kitten | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/10/2008 10:54:18 AM |
I need some help. Because I am not a huge fan of emailing I usually offer my cell number to someone who sends me a note and we are both interested in getting to know each other. Why would this put a man off??? I keep loosing "potential" interests that never call or email back . What gives?
I don't feel like I can read a person very well through emails.... hearing someone on the phone really is faster and doesn't waist tons of time typing. What is your take on this?
Perhaps they're not big phone people. Or maybe they'd rather chat online first. If someone gives me their number right away, I'm likely not to call. I'd rather chat online a bit first and see if I'm even interested in talking to him on the phone or meeting. I'm not big on talking to complete strangers on the phone. | |
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nero1
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Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 60 | |
| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:34:34 AM | | I agree that contact should move very quickly to phone contact but immediate phone contact might be too quick. Exchange a few e-mails before offering your number. Also, a lot of men expect women to be paranoid and may suspect something's a little off if a woman offers her number first. If you ask for theirs first it might work better but then you have to take the plunge and call. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:50:11 AM | | I hate talking on the phone...only have one 'cause the kids & my elderly mom need to be able to get ahold of me at any time. I'd rather "type" my questions, answers, and directions to my favorite coffee joint! | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:25:23 PM | I've found that works well for me too. If I contact a woman
via email, and she suggests I call her, I email back and say
I can meet her in person and we can talk face to face for a
few minutes instead. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:03:17 PM | Why is it a problem giving someone your number? If i was in a supermarket and i got talking to a girl for a minute or two and we kind of got on ok i would swap numbers with her. I certainly wouldnt keep going back to the market on the same day and time in the hope of bumping into her again because thats stalking and not pleasant.
If a girl on here gives me her number that shows me that she isnt messing around behind her husbands/boyfriends back and also shows im not a player because we can call each other at anytime we want (within reason) because we have nothing to hide.
So i'm all for the swapping of numbers because of the many positives to be gained from it.
Peace | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:07:53 PM | Talking is usually MUCH better - and meeting quickly is advisable.
I started corresponding with a guy on here a few months back...soon we switched to IM and he asked for my number...which I gave him, and he called me from what he said was his work phone. He indicated he had been divorced for six years. He said he wanted to meet but had recently been in a car accident and wanted to be properly healed before he met someone new. While this seemed understandable, he dragged it out for two months. We live only about 30-45 miles apart, so distance was not the issue. Because of his job and odd work hours, he couldn't call before 11:30 or later. I was patient with this for the most part - but a little leery...he never would give me his number, he avoided discussing it when I asked, and his calls always came up as "restricted". I liked what I knew of the guy, we seemed to have a lot in common, but It was puzzling that he had my number and I couldn't have his...AND that he didn't seem to feel any remorse for calling me at 3 or 4 a.m. on a weeknight - despite my reminders that I had to work the next morning. I'm sure his logic was that (God forbid) I might be foolish enough to call him at an inappropriate time. (oh the horrors!) So...maybe his wife works a night shift? I'm sure he's hiding/lying about something. Maybe he's 400 lbs? Maybe he wants to drag out the "let's meet" time for another 6 months, so he can lose 200...or something equally inane? I don't really care anymore, I'm not losing sleep, not stupid and won't waste time on him. He still calls - sometimes at 3 a.m....comes up in my vm as a "restricted" missed call. I don't answer. He doesn't leave a message...but
1. It seems like a control freak thing to do
2. It's damned inconsiderate
3. It's a ridiculous double standard......and considering we never MET in person...don't those smell like red flags?
P.S. He went through some other B.S. about how he'd removed his profile from here...so if he hasn't, he'll just get his lying nose bent out of shape about this post. LMAO | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:38:17 PM | | The answer is it won't put him off...the reason that they don't call you is they are not that interested. If a man wants to meet you nothing will stop him. Don't waste your time with men who don't call or e mail...not worth your time. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/13/2008 9:28:06 PM | Msg 64 I understand the concern over the safety issue, especially for the women. At some point the more phone numbers exchanged and are qualified as real, helps in determining how real the other gender is.
I will give my phone numbers out one at a time, unless I am given more than one from the person I am chatting with does the same. I've had a couple of women stalkers, which was no fun but I'll not let them ruin my life and lifestyle.
From my personal experience, every woman that has given me only a cell phone number, ultimately was hiding something. A BF, SO, Hubby. I now want a land line phone number, cell and or work number.
Woman also play games here, not only men.
I have nothing to hide and I'm not afraid of anyone doing anything to me. Thus I tend to think people, especially men, who are not willing to give more than 1 contact number are hiding something...... Wellllllll maybe some are wussies LOL | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:10:07 PM | | I think there's a fine line as to when is the best time to give someone your phone number and waiting too long, they get tired of emailing and just fade away. I'm not an overly aggressive guy and never have been, so I've probably lost a few that way. I've got no problem with a girl giving me her number first or asking for mine, if I'm interested we'll be talking. The girl I'm with now was receptive when I told her I'd give her my number if she was interested in talking after a week of emailing and we talk every day for a few hours. That's the way it will be till we meet in a couple months and I am so looking forward to it... | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:27:08 PM | So, what did we do before email? Answer: Give the guy/girl our phone number. BINGO!!!!!
I do not understand what huge decisions have to be made here. It's quite simple:
He/she: "May I call you?"
He/she: "Yes, my number is __________" or "No".
What's so difficult about that? It worked for us older folks for decades before the advent of email and webcams. Technology seems to have only added to the problem of getting to know others, not enhancing it. Dating used to be quite simple - WTF happened? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:36:08 PM | | It's because men like the challenge. If you make it too easy for them, they lose interest. Wait till they ask for your number. If they just keep e-mailing them forever, you could say, "Are you ever going to ask for my number?" | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 3:32:02 PM | | It's a personal preference. I personally hate having to worry about coordinating who will call and when and all the attendant waiting and phone tag. I just prefer to e-mail the back and forth for awhile to see if there is something of interest. And I'd actually rather meet them in person after the e-mails and before really talking on the phone because the phone is just much more awkward for me. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 3:42:39 PM | I don't usually have a problem on my end with this...guys usually give me their phone number to call them. And then once I call them, unless I block them, they then have my phone number. I'm very picky about whom I give my phone number to because, YES, they can find out your address by using your phone number. Did you know that? They can do a "reverse phone lookup" and get your address, last name, relatives names, DOB, etc. They may have to pay $5 or $10 to one of these lookup websites to do so, but if they want your address bad enough, they'll do it. Any, YES, cell phone numbers can also be traced. So be very careful who you give your number to. | |
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triad3
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Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 73 | |
| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 3:43:10 PM | I am usually ok with phone numbers but one woman was very vague on her profile. When I asked for clarification. She kept insisting I call her. I think a person should be honest about simple questions or I assume they are dishonest in other ways. I don't them to have my number.  I hate dancing bananas. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/16/2008 4:26:40 PM | | im not sure I give my cell phone number to those I talk to on line a few times with and want to put a voice with. I think it is a good trnsition from e-mail to phone then in person. But what do I know Im new at the dating scene. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/22/2008 5:56:27 AM | im all for exchanging numbers ...... as long as i got ur name .... where ur from ..... ur age .... and ur relationship status and we both r comfortable havin each others numbers ..... lets go for it ...... u only live once and theres no sense in living in a sheltered life  | |
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