| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 3/27/2008 9:31:04 AM |
firstgypsylady wrote: I do not have a problem giving out
my number, they can stalk my phone if one feels like it,
but that sounds a bit over dramatized, most men here are
not going to waste their time stalking another person.
Your method is best suited to women who quickly and reliably identify
stalker-types, rarely have problems with stalkers/abusers, and are skilled
at screening people out who subtract from their quality of life.
Whereas if you have not been successful in avoiding liars or the mentally
unbalanced, then probably better to exercise extreme caution when
dealing with strangers. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 3/28/2008 6:53:30 AM | | does any one think i was being too forward.---- i was talking to a guy for quite a while for hours at a time, and at first he said it was a shame we lived so far apart, but we kept chatting and seemed to get on well, then he said i am gonna come and see you, i said i thought you said it was too far. he said he wanted to drive to my town go for a meal and talk then he would head home, so i said ok if you want to do that it would be nice to meet up. So i left a message with my mobile number thinking he could ring me when he was on his way so i wasnt hanging about for ages and he knew where to go. but he turned round and said i was being too forward, so i told him not to be patronising, and we havent chatted since. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:33:03 AM |
She came up with my address, an aerial view of my house, and directions to my doorstep.
I dunno, in that spaghetti neighborhood, a house there would be still hard to find.  | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:40:01 AM | | i always give my number after the second or third message. and for the same reason. i want to hear a voice. i also want to make sure i'm talking to a woman and not a man posing as a woman. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:55:51 AM | | I try not to put a set number of emails or anything before exchanging numbers, usually I just go off if I really wanted to meet this girl or not. Even then I try and use text messaging. It's just easier than having to get online to have to talk to someone. Plus it lets you have something of a real time conversation without the awkwardness that usually manifests itself in me when face to face. Not that I'm opposed to talking on the phone it's just that I'm kinda shy so it's best to usually build up to it and most of the time an actual phone conversation works best after meeting the girl at least once and having just a little bit of that comfort level. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:05:31 PM | | David L. What i was trying to say is men on this site the most of them do not want to waste their time stalking a phone if one does not answer one wioll eventually move on and yes I have to put trust in people, I do not just hand my number out freely, But my gut tells me who I can become friends with not intimacy but Friends. And I have had good encounters and have made wonderful friends so excuse me if i was ACTUALLY STICKING UP FOR A MAN FOR A CHANGE!! | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:44:04 PM | If something isn't working for you, then stop doing that thing!!! Maybe you need to just suck it up and email back and forth a bit longer before offering to talk on the phone!!
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PeterC
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 109 | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/14/2008 8:19:42 PM | | Exchanging a bunch of emails is just nonsense. The number of "stalkers" out there is way overblown. If someone interests you, TALK to them. There is a thing called caller ID blocking, Google it. People who just want to send endless emails are not serious about this stuff. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/14/2008 8:47:46 PM | LOL about the smoke-signals thing....good one!
Actually, I have no idea how anyone ever manages to find someone internet or not! it's just weird to start up a conversation with a complete stranger like they were someone you know and love, when what they really are is someone you have never seen nor met in your whole life! I find this....disconcerting, talking to strangers.
Everyone is different, and some people like to hold a guy off for quite a long time and talk a good long time to get to know what he is inside, before excalating into meeting, or even for sure dating.
Also, bad i the olden days before internet, when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth (lol, just kidding), back in our parents day, they just met at corn-huskings and barn-dances...so I guess that is a good place as any to learn the finer points of smoke-signaling :-) maybe say hi when a tall, dark and handsome with glasses on and a button-down shirt approaches a gal....smoke-signal him "yeah, you look like a likely prince charming", by saying hi.
I don't have the patience to care about playing games with the guys myself. I have never been at a loss to locate my own opinions myself, so hi seems to be sign-language for me.
Nothing wrong with a sense of humor, either. :-) | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:00:19 PM | | Sometimes it's better to talk on phone, just as face to face. A lot can be lost in a message. I don't think it's a sign of being despite or anything – maybe they feel comfortable talking on the phone. Plus if you both seem interest in each other…eventually you’re going to have to call each other. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:44:10 AM | If a woman sent me her number in her first email to me I wouldn't call. But I also don't wait until the 10th email to suggest talking on the phone. I think after two or three emails why not talk on the phone? That's the next step imo.
I sent an email to a woman who replied with one sentence asking for my number. I turned the tables and asked for hers instead. My email was red and promptly deleted. OP, few will take you seriously if you send your # right away. Emailing isn't that hard and you don't have to write a book every time. Just a paragraph or two will do. If the reason is too many emails to reply to then only reply to those that genuinely interest you.
The problem is everyone's comfort zone of when to talk on the phone is different. If I ask for her number too soon I'm being too forward. If I wait too long she thinks I'm not interested. I've exchanged several great emails with women and when I suggest we talk on the phone they say they're not ready yet......and that's then end of the emailing. Of course it's both men and women who do this and those that do are probably living in an email fantasy world, content to waste other's time, and probably have no intention of meeting others anyway. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:16:30 AM | I think being able to talk on the phone helps to get to know one another more than just im-ing or emailing. Sometimes meaning gets lost in typing, when you get to hear a voice, you can hear expressions or tones in a persons voice.
Also, it does also confirm the persons availability and gender... | |
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PeterC
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 117 | |
| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:31:10 PM | Yepo its ok with me, if i think your a few cakes short of a picnic, i'll end it quick !
Otherwise its ok, lets you get the weight of a person, and well hey, you may even think more of them :P | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:40:09 PM | | I believe in chatting thru a few emails and if there is interest then one of u give the other your number and then all u need is 1 phone conversation then u meet or not. Why waste all the time in emails and phone talk? U really have to meet to know if there is chemistry. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:58:38 PM | Who would have ever thought that this technology would have us moving backwards instead of forwards; thanks to the Internet people won't even give out phone numbers anymore, as one person said it makes the guy look desperate if he asks for your phone number, ya hows that working for ya! people put way too much drama into this online dating. I ask for # right away and have never been refused. I don't chat I would rather meet. Some people are so annal on this site it amazes me as to why they are even here, oh my god he asked for my # what ever am I to do, first grow up ,get a back bone and get out there and meet someone. Ya ya the safety, stalkers, killers ect... well my advice don't date from the Internet. We are all grown ups just don't be stupid.  | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:07:40 PM | After a few email connections and initial introductions, I will ask the lady if she wants to talk. They know I an a romantic and poet for I have sent them a couple of poems, none that are suggestive, and commented on their profile and common intersts we share. Even though I am a writer and type 50 WPM, I sill prefer the telephone to get to know a person. To tell you the truth the IM system drives me crazy. You are asking a question when you recieve a question and everything gets all mixed up...can't type fast enough. That is never a problem when you are talking personally.
POF is a great way of connecting. I don't understand how so many ladies can decide from a few pictures and a profile that we are not a match. I believe in CHEMISTRY. I have found that it can occur in the most unlikely places and with a lady you would not have thought you would have been attracted to but their demeanor, eyes, converstaion and other non verbal clues starts a chemical reaction and that is good. The only way to know is to meet.
I met a 5'3" lady that was over 230 lbs. When she said she would be the biggest lady in the premise I knew I would not be attracted but I went anyway. She was surprised for she said most men just don't show up. We talked and there was no connection but I keep in touch with this lady for her safety. I told her I was concerned and she lives very close to me. We became friends and I take some time to get her out of her apartment. She needs all the excercise she can get....I'm a PE major by the way.
Chemistry 101
Welcome to chemistry 101
I know that you will find it is great fun
For it is the hormones raging in you
Causing you to do the 'naughty' things that you do
But it isn't bad in fact it's so natural
Like the chemistry equations that are so damn factual
But the chemistry of lust is a different equation
That seems to have little relation
To the chemistry taught in all of the schools
Can cause us to act like bloody fools
Dazzled by feelings, high on the view
Motivates you to do things you thought you'd never do
When the chemistry is hot, cheeks start to burn
A deep seated instinct, a primordial yearn
Nature in the raw, the essence of life
Will we graduate from love school and survive the strife
To find some chemistry we need to be adventuresome and the way I see it I am willing to meet almost anyone...NO discrimination here. Just the same I am selective and unless I am smitten NOTHING will happen. Still looking to smitten a lady I'm smitten with. Good Luck! True love will come to those who venture forth and are patient. | |
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Bxvamp
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Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 121 | |
| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:11:01 AM | You sir, above me are a true gentleman.
<div class="quote">why not keep using them and not as a last resort.
Because, let's say, that this person is what you thought in the beginning, a bit desperate or not all there in the cabeza (head) ... and becomes one of those who abuses the telephone number privilege (because that is what it is, a privilege to have the number of a person who you so desire, right?) You know, calling everyday4x a day, texting you after you don't pick up crazy psychotic messages of you being rude or conceited. When you are in fact not interested in pursuing anything more after telling them this. Then they take it to a level of total obsession ... yes, it happens. I have known many people that had to change their numbers more than necessary in a matter of month because some people don't know how to take no for an answer. It goes both ways of course, men and women alike on the receiving end of it all.
I don't see what all the fuss is with the phone numbers and being so quick about getting it. If the person is really interested in you, what does it matter if you get it today or tomorrow or 3 months later? The more you push it the less likely you will get it.
This happened to me on here with someone. I saw that he was a nice person at first. Key word here "at first." We emailed one another for a day or two before I saw that when I logged in I had like 10 -15 messages per day from this person. Unnerved me a bit. Thought he had nothing else to do with his time. I would not open them. More emails! With subject lines alone that would make someone just want to delete them without reading what is inside the note. Anyhoo ,I read them all in one night and decided to just tell him that he was being a bit pushy with the whole matter with the number. Lo and behold, his true colors came out and I blocked him, well that is all that needs to be said. Ladies! Trust your gut instinct. You can try to be nice and understand people only so much before they get outright rude and childish about it, no matter the age of the so called man in question. But, like I said it happens to both men and women alike.
By they way, why in the world do people push so much with the numbers when in todays world, you have webcams and mics that enable you to do just the same? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:17:20 PM | | Wow...people are paranoid! I am not a fearful person, and think nothing of meeting someone in a coffee shop. To me, that is one sure fire way to know whether or not you would like to give them your number. To email forever is definitely not for me...I need to see someone, and can make sound decisions from there about further communication. I say throw caution to the wind! (within reason!) Live a little, why live scared? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:47:26 PM | I'm stumped as to why anyone would be offended by getting a phone number.
I think it shows interest. Unless of course it's in the opening email or within the first
1-2. I've played that whole email game and then finally talked on the phone and
had that be our only conversation. I think this whloe online dating has kinda set us
back. People are almost scared of human contact. Safety in one thing but running
scared? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:46:13 PM | | It's not fear for me but when someone sends their number in the first couple of e-mails, with something like "Nice profile. Here's my number, lets chat." I'm usually like who, what...? | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:16:33 PM | nowaynosay
And from experience, if a man doesn't give you his HOME phone number, he is definately living with someone or married!!!!!!
I only have a cell phone therefor that is all I can give out. I am not married and/or living with anyone that I need to hide anything. I simply can't see the point in paying twice for the same thing.
As for giving out your number, I think that talking on the phone is way more productive in finding out if two people are compatible or not. We are on this site for a reason, correct? I also think there is a fine line between paranoia and being cautious. If there is a mutual interest between two people after even one email the natural progression of things should be at the very least, a phone call or even a meeting.
Ever heard the saying, "Nothing ventured nothing gained"?
just my two cents worth, take it or leave it.
Good luck in your search | |
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