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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:13:49 AM | Lucky you!
For me, it's a combination of being physically attracted to someone, and then having that "je ne sais quoi" that makes my heart flutter when I talk to them...they excite me...and I can't describe it, but that has to be there. Sometimes the heart doesn't flutter right away, but it develops after talking to them for a while, which is why I like to have a lot of conversation with someone before a first date.
Sigh... | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:17:12 AM |
...and he dont go home,
...a man that caused that sort of reaction, he stayed two years,..
Yah I'm thinking...if I like someone enough to let them come into my place, and then I want them to stay, that's a good indicator of a good connection or a 'spark'.
On the other hand, if I cannot wait for them to leave or cannot wait to get out of the room they're in, it's the other way around. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:10:13 AM | | I have rarely felt sparks for a man on the first date because I don't know him well enough at that point. Some people on this thread ( and other similiar thread ) have claimed that they can tell if there is a spark or not within minutes or even seconds of meeting the other person. The only things I could figure out that quickly are any obvious red flags and physical attraction. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:27:53 PM | Spontaneous combustion might be a good indicator. lol
Actually, I think it's pretty easy to rule someone OUT on a first date but a lot harder to rule someone IN. IMO, sparks on a first date are generally overrated. Sometimes you feel sparks (or not) simply because you are in the mood to be sparked. It may have little to do with whether or not there is any real connection.
On the other hand, if you can share a few good belly laughs that have the potential to shoot soda out of your nostrils, you've probably found someone worth seeing again! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:06:52 PM |
I like it when the first kiss rocks my world. I'm sure if you've experienced it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about
If you don't feel the "spark" on the first date, the kiss on the second can be the deal breaker for most people. You will know when you feel the "magic" as your lips connect for the first time. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:45:43 AM | For Me...It's Dancing..!!
..Can she 'Follow' someone that doesn't just 'Clutch-and-Sway'...??
I can be Tricky on a dance floor....
..and more than Once...had to catch a partner that Zagged at the wrong Zig..!!!
Also....If we hold each other comfortably, while dancing....
Does she _like_ to be held...??...Does she Hold-Back..??
Then....It's a matter of how well we share a  KISS ..!!!
If the *Sparks* fly, There.....Call the F.D. ...!!!
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:58:49 AM | You want to sleep with him (naturally you don't) but that's the feeling you get.
Then from there, as you get to know more - hopefully there's more to it. If not, you either sleep with him and duct tape his mouth so he doesn't talk and ruin it, or you look elsewhere. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:08:37 AM | | If time fades away, it's a good sign. I think sparks with someone new are rare, so maybe two dates to see if it works, but it's normally an automatic thing. If your jaw/cheeks hurts from smiling/laughing too much- it's a definite spark situation. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:30:42 AM |
What's the difference between ...... 'sparks' and 'lust' ?
Not much in my book...they are pretty much the same. And a great START for any relationship.
It's finding out if there's anything good going on beyond that "lust" that you can work with. If you end up building everything on JUST the lust, then naturally it's a risky endeavor. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:40:34 AM | Yes, being attracted to someone... well I am attracted to most women... I dont think thats a good indicator.
The personality characteristics that fill out knowing a person... Those will usually enhance after knowing a person for some time....
Or one sees yet another imperfect human... Sweet, but not necessarily for you...
Just trying each other on for size like big comfy winter coats...
But I believe one should know do to the subconscious, the olfactory, the interpersonal reactions... all these things stand out...
Funny how much more attention I can get when I am not wearing my glasses...
But that is a whole nother' syndrome...
L | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:01:15 AM | To me spark is attraction, and in a first meeting you just know if you're attracted in that 10-30 minutes you're there. I think the people that have sparks eventually had a slight attraction in the first place, and it got better as they got to know each other. But if it ain't there in the beginning at all, it's never gonna be there.
I think people rely on the whole "spark in the first 10 minutes of talking" too much. I don't buy into it at all. I actually work in the opposite. Getting to know someone over time, become their friend and then fall for them....that way the bond is stronger.
What's funny is, the relationship only lasts a few months, and they are back in the dating game once again.
We were engaged 5 weeks later
Salty.....did you ever actually get married?
So I agree with the OP that sparks on the first date are over-rated.
Is it me, or is it mostly the women that are the ones that believe in this whole "spark" business?
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:30:45 AM | ^^^Yes..it is, because most women (not all, but enough to discuss) are either attracted to a man right away, or they never are. For a lot of us, there's not much chance of being attracted to someone over time. It's either there or not right from the start. If we are somewhat attracted, it's possible that attraction can grow - but if there is just nothing to start with, then that's as good as it's gonna get.
I - and many female friends, acquaintences, and family members over the years have discussed this over and over. I have a friend right now who's dating a guy and trying to figure out what to do because she's just not attracted to him. She's dating him because he's a good guy and she feels she should be dating him because he's good to her and for her, but her heart's not in it. We've all done it - dated some guy that outside of our complete lack of attraction is everything else we want, we've stuck it out for months and it doesn't change - and it starts to become unfair to the guy. This is how we know that the first 10-30 minutes usually determine the rest of the relationship in terms of attraction.
A monkeywrench in this is that it IS possible for something to happen which will make a woman lose the attraction she has, but he cannot create it for her from nothing.
With most men (IME) almost the opposite is true, which is what causes a lot of confusion in these male/female platonic friendships. Men essentially have little interest or don't pay attention to that in the beginning, but they grow attached/attracted as they get to know a woman more, and for her it's pretty much the same as it was when she met him. Then he gets caught in that dilemma where he doesn't know whether to risk telling her which could end the friendship, or stay quiet and wait it out.
Since most project onto others what they know, men tend think women aren't giving it enough of a chance, and women think it's silly to keep talking to a woman you're not attracted to. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:12:30 AM | I've met some nice men through dating sites but unfortunately, I've yet to feel that chemistry since I met the ex b/f 2 yrs ago. I can usually tell within 30 mins whether there is chemistry or not. Unfortunately for me, I've never had it 'grow' after getting to know someone if it wasn't there to begin with. One of my best friends is a male I met on Match. We dated a few times (just to be sure) but his kisses felt like those of a sibling. I truly wish it had been different because we have a blast when we hang out together. But without a 'spark', I just can't picture being intimate with someone.
I've had 2 relationships in my life and both began with lots of chemistry on that first meet/date. One lasted till his death. After having been lucky enough to have had that very LTR with the husband, I'd be crazy not to follow my heart and wait until the chemistry is present. I would consider it 'settling' if I was to try to attempt a relationship with someone with whom I did not feel the chemistry. And we all know what happens when someone settles.
HR 
Caligirl----Glad you liked the initial post. | |
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