| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:03:52 AM |
I read here of many people who gave up on someone because there was no chemistry in the first meeting. But many long term relationships started with no initial chemistry. Instead, because two people had repeated contacts in a social group they met each other often. Gradually they learn about the other, begin to see their inner gifts. Weeks later, they look across at each other, and for the first time feel that "something". This is more real than first-date sparks.
That's exactly what i am saying..and i said it in my last post too..a lot of people who are together now, one party of both initially had no attraction whatsoever for the other person, and thought were ugly, boring etc...but guess what?..over time they became attracted to each other because they got to know one another a "little more"..a spark is just a spark..it doesnt mean that you will eventually become attracted to the person..just like how "not having a spark" doesnt necessarily mean that you won't eventually become attracted to someone...so maybe some of you ought to stop complaining about not having good dates/relationships etc..maybe the problem is YOU..just a though..
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:10:02 AM |
Or you can just say "let's get outta here" and hit a hotel. But IMO, spark CAN lead to something long term
true, but its the same way, not having an initial spark can lead to something it goes both ways, which is why I dont think anyone should stop "dating" someone because there was no initial "spark"..that just wouldn't make a world of sense.. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:13:29 AM | Now, this may be a silly question here...
But...
What does "OP" stand for??
...and...
To add to this conversation...
Yes, I do agree with compactdisc here...
Either you feel "those igniting sperks" or you do not feel them!!
Tis as simple as that!!
Signed,
palmi
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:48:39 AM | This is the problem, people look for a specific (and yet abstract) feeling, and then if it's not there - all bets are off, the other person's clearly undateable.
Consider this: if you felt the immediate spark before, and it was amazing and undeniable - why are you not with that person now? If the "spark" was some indicator of ultimate relationship perfection, that would be one thing - but because it isn't, perhaps you should still get to know someone who doesn't shock you immediately.
Perhaps something else will click in, and you'll find something deeper you connect with.
(Yeah alright I know this is totally unrealistic, but let a guy imagine, wouldja?)
It just comes down to being another "dealbreaker" - except this one isn't even possible to quantify; but people are still going to treat it the same way - "No spark! Clearly not the right one, back to the PoF dating smorgasbord!"
*rolls eyes*
Yeah exactly..it make sno sense..it seems like all these women want to get a spark right away..i wonder if all the guys they will end up dating..they will just leave and dont go on a second date if there is no spark..its obvious that some of these women, just think that a "spark" within the first hour or so is all that is needed to be attracted to someone.. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:57:59 AM |
Before I even scroll down to read the responses...the default response (typically by single women) is...the ol' "You just know" response...that "it can't be explained" response.
Then 6 months down the road they split up
LOL..yeah i always notice that too..its funny that you always hear women talking about the fact that they cant explain why they feel attracted to a guy..really?..how the hell can you not know why you are attracted to someone?..thats just bull..every girl that i've dated in the past and felt a strong attraction for..i always know why i felt that way..how could i or anyone not know? | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:58:17 AM | When you look into his eyes and get lost in them.
When you find any reason to hold hands or link arms.
When you sit too close and it feels comfortable.
You eat so slow that the meal goes cold, just so the date wont end.
When the phone rings and you turn it off.
When you are so glad you sat in the cosy corner.
You make a second date before the end of the current date.
When you check you have all the contact details right before you go home.
When you really dont want to say goodbye.
You wrack your brains for something else to do so you dont have to say goodbye.
When you kiss them goodnight and it is heaven here on earth.
Then you cant eat cant sleep - yep you are so hooked - and sparks flew for you | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:07:07 PM | You can tell if there is a "spark" by chemistry. If you talk and have a lot in common you already are on the same page. If at the end of the night you hug or kiss goodbye and want to keep on going back for more you definately have a spark! You don;t have to go back for another hug, kiss, or even holding hands, but the fact that you may want to shows definate chemistry.
You can like the person a lot, but if you don't have "passion" you got nothing! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:07:48 PM | | I think i am understanding why it is so difficult to find `The One ! Wow you Women have many!! Hurdles to jump for us men? and a lot of women are alone. Now i know why a lot of men settle for someone they dont really like so much, just for the `Relationship feeling again, and get tired of it in 3 weeks. Really ! at what age do women stop expecting the `Sparks, when they have lost their Best Asset? and then the men are not interested anymore. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:00:21 AM | | I don't know if you'll start a fire OP on the first meeting, but what the "spark" is, is something you feel when you're around that person. How does he/she make you feel when you're with them. What is your comfort level? Are you able to open up to them? Do you feel you need to be guarded? No one wants to be interrogated the first time meeting someone new. And from the dating I've done in the past, I usually know after the first meeting whether or not I want to see the person again. However, it needs to be mutual, no sense in wanting someone who doesn't want you back. | |
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