| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:11:38 PM | Episode, thanks for the laugh!!
The sparks we talk of....what region of the body are they felt?
Head, heart,....ahem...lower region????
Once I was attracted to this guy and I unexpectedly saw him at the store, god, did my knees just buckle!! It was the weirdest thing! Thank god I was holding onto a grocery cart at the time....whooo | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:24:13 PM | ...if there are sparks?
You just know. Butterflies in your stomach is one. but...
...a smile. When the other smiles and laugh at your every comment. That's a spark.
...attention to your every word and jesture. That's a spark.
...leaning forward to be closer to you. That's a spark.
...no rush for leaving your company. That's a spark.
...complete your sentences. That's a spark.
...accepting your invitation for coffee. That's a spark.
You are right. Sometime a spark does take a few days, weeks or...to happen.
Doc Sage  | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:39:20 PM | If my hormones start dancing, there's a spark. If they don't dance, we can only be friends. ( no spark )
Alot of women tend to think that it's what's inside that counts, but if there's no attraction ( dancing hormones ) it doesn't matter how sweet they are.
Of course, that's my opinion. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:52:13 PM | | I can share with this forum some of the "spark" feelings I have experienced: 1) One man serenaded me with his guitar and singing on the first meet and played my favorite songs - I went home and told my son (grown): I think I'm in love! I felt so sweet - like seeing the stars at night but they were inside me. 2) Another man: we talked and laughed non-stop for 3 hours about a common interest we both shared and loved at a restaurant and I hardly ate my dinner. Didn't want to leave when it was time to go, and was sad the meet-up was coming to a close. 3) One man made a long drive to meet me - didn't ask me to "meet him half way or come to his town", and then he drove home at the end of the date without hesitation. Treated me like he'd known me a lifetime, and I felt like he had. The "spark" here was an inner feeling of sincere comfort and closeness with a man I just met. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:05:33 PM | Slg43g wrote:
> How can you tell on first date if there are sparks?
Sparks can fly on a first date, but it might also be the case that being with
a person a few times is what might be needed to get sparks flying.
And how can we tell if there are potential "sparks" at all? Well perhaps it isn't
so much something which is present, the rather the absence of something --
the absence of being turned off by that person, the absence of being repelled
by them in some way, and the absence of that sense that we're rather be in
some other place than where we are right now.
The point of a first date is to get to a second date. And getting to a second date
perhaps isn't so much a question of whether sparks were flying on a first date,
but rather whether the first date ended without either party feeling like they'd
been splashed with a bucket of cold water, as it were.
When we go into dating, we're like a person going into a propane factory flicking
a lighter -- we're already predisposed to sparks flying. And so it seems it is not
so much a question whether sparks will fly and chemistry will occur, but rather
more a question of whether something seen, said, or done will douse us with cold
water to the point that it drowns our sense of attraction for that other person.
So to the question of "How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?",
the answer might be that we are afterward left feeling slightly elated or euphoric.
But the sign of whether to go on a second date or not isn't so much if sparks
were heavily flying on a first date (they might not have been), but only that
after our first date, we don't go home feeling someone douse us with a bucket
of cold water.
If any of that makes any sense,
CJ | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:30:32 PM | | Yea, I got doused by that bucket of cold water once too - it was the first (and only) date after the meet-up. I was so disappointed I rushed to gather my stuff, ran to my car and sped away as fast as I could! Yes, Apolinary, I was doused by that bucket of cold water before I even got out of the building! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:57:16 PM |
What is a spark and how do you determine this spark?
It's just something you feel, it's either there or not there. Although, a spark does not guarantee a connection which can take time, atleast for me. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:34:59 PM | | First date I don't look for sparks. I look for a the start of a connection. I mean I like potential partners to have their own beliefs,likes/dislikes etc but it's good to have things in common. I mean I look at a guys behavior, listen to his thoughts on music,politics,current affairs. If I think that we have enough in common then I ask to see him again. But if I don't think there is anything to build on then I generally don't see the person again. I mean I went on a first date with a guy the other night and there wansn't anything there I found. He was actually a tad crazy literally I think. So for me that's someone I wouldn't date. So I move onto the next person. For me it takes 2-3 dates to figure out if the person is worth pursuing something with. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:37:02 PM | | To me a spark is when I want to jump their bones. If they touch me and I feel good then that's a spark. If they look at me and I feel good that's a spark. If he says something and I feel good, then that's a spark too. Then again it could be the sound of his voice more than what he's saying... The spark thing may be overrated if the person is unappealing in other ways, personality wise or just have different views than you do. I guess I would call them spark destroyers. When I find out something unappealing I no longer feel sparks. Then there are those things I would sacrifice for the sake of the sparks:) He doesn't have to be the smartest, funniest or best looking person if there are sparks. I think I might get sparks from other things too, like how confident and secure the man seems, how friendly an approachable he is, how interested he seems in me. Anyway, for me a spark is when I feel ***** when he's around. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:55:06 PM | | The majority of my first dates didn't have any sparks. Sometimes it is due to lack of attraction or compatibility. Other times it is because I don't know the woman well enough. A few times there were sparks on the first date. One time I ended up dating a woman for about a year. Another time, it didn't get past the second date. When I found out more info about her, I realized that we weren't compatible. It might be different for other people. But for me, sparks on the first date doesn't determine my interest in a woman. Each dating situation can be different. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:19:10 PM | It's very easy for me to tell if there are sparks on a first date if it is nightime because they are eaily seen.
If a first date occurs during daylight hours then I usually try to attune my sense of smell to smoke, because where there is smoke, there is fire !
If a first date occurs on a rainy day, then I am totally screwed. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:27:18 PM | | I have to agree completely with you SLQ43Q and I have not understood this spark thing that people talk about myself. If there are sparks within the first 10 to 30 minutes of meeting someone, then the sparks are probably happening below the waist. That alone, doesn't set the pace for a long-lasting relationship.............maybe a FWB relationship. I totally agree with you that it takes more than one date to know if the sparks will fly. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:46:25 AM | I believe it has a lot to do with electric current running through your body making the hair on you arms stand up and giving you 'sickly'-looking flashes in your eyes, followed by the very nice warm feeling in... well, you know. :)
..when you two touch obviously.. :) | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 6:39:07 AM | | Darr I have to agree with you on this one. The last couple of dates came on to me big time and made all the advances, emails exc. When we met it was all good. Good eye contact, good conversation, smiling at each other, flirting, and they are all over me so i know they are interested and I am not turning them off. Everything goes great and we seem to click and then the next day the "I didn't feel sparks/connection letter" I think that is childish in some ways. I think adults need to spend more time if the really want to get to know someone. First impressions are not always correct. Inpulse thinking is not good. If you ask them what happened I get excuses like I am not over my ex. lol. Give me a break you sure didn't act like it when you were all over me. lol | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:39:38 AM | OP, it seems like they have to try out the merchandise before they buy - same as anything else. If they're not feeling the sparks, its a lost cause. Maybe they were just horny or looking for sex but they should've let you known that right up front.
A lot of can tell right off if there are sparks but some of us will still see them a few times to be certain because like you said, first impressions are not always accurate.
But if that first impression is awesome, usually the sparks will fly-even if they end up being one sided. Like I said before...
There's only 2 things I look for:
1: I look for that sexual attraction-that I just want to rip his cloths off and do him right there....of course I don't...but I can imagine I am
2: Then I check out the kiss. If his kiss wets my panties, he's in......Basically, its a simple as that!
HR | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:30:34 AM | slg43 - these people you are dating sound like they are playing games, and not really adults. If they are saying they are not over their ex, what are they doing dating in the first place? It's okay to have some hang-ups about the past, but if you are still pining for another and not open to meeting anyone new - STOP DATING.
First impressions make an impression, I too think if you are mature you know that first impressions can be wrong. I do however think that "impulse" or shall I call it "instinct" thinking can be good when used correctly. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 10:34:13 AM | There's only 2 things I look for:
1: I look for that sexual attraction-that I just want to rip his cloths off and do him right there....of course I don't...but I can imagine I am
2: Then I check out the kiss. If his kiss wets my panties, he's in......Basically, its a simple as that!
Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:38:15 PM | There's only 2 things I look for:
1: I look for that sexual attraction-that I just want to rip his cloths off and do him right there....of course I don't...but I can imagine I am
2: Then I check out the kiss. If his kiss wets my panties, he's in......Basically, its a simple as that!
Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's posted it like 3 times in this thread I believe. Probably waiting for someone like yourself to respond to it. What she talks of is lust though. I'd like to think sparks are more than skin deep. | |
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