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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 3/9/2008 3:31:08 AM | I think you have to take your time and really look at the person at many different get togethers. I think sparks are from romance novels and it puts pressure on the dating world, that if they don't feel it "they are doomed mentality"! Think of potential people you pass up if you are only looking for a spark. Take your time and look for the whole fire not just the sparks...and bring a bucket of water...shes out there somewhere...don't lose heart. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 3/9/2008 12:12:48 PM | what a subject of talk...i think sparks can happen but lets use another term how about click with someone ..sometimes when you meet a lady and you hang out you can pretty much tell if you guys click or not ...its like after the date or meeting your like i wanna see this person again !! everyone is diffrent though but usally you can tell if you really wanna see this person the next time...now if only i could find my spark an dlight my heart on fire  | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:23:37 AM | Im not sure if you call them "sparks" but I do think when you first meet someone you feel "something" that tells you whether you would be interested in seeing them again..
I know for me If Im not into that person it takes an effort and I wonder why did I waste theirs and my time, if I didnt feel it in the first place.. Ahhh becuz the voices in my head.....told me ..oh he is a nice guy give him a chance..Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother.. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:54:13 AM | | I'm not sure how reliable "sparks" are. There have been times I thought they were there, only to never hear from the guy again or to have him revert to friendship. Then again, I'm sure there have been times I've given off the wrong signals as well. On my last first date, I guess I could tell the sparks were there because I really didn't want the night to end. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:15:21 AM | That spark initially is being attracted to the other person in a physical way, and you find out much more when talking and getting to know each other.
That attraction, or spark, then will lead to some form of chemistry if you are on the same page with both the mental and physical, along with all those "other" factors that make up desire to be with that person in many ways......... 
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:18:01 PM | I've wondered this, too!
Basically, on a first date, you can't expect instant sparks. Sure, it happens for some people, but not most, and I believe that most lovebirds who say sparks flew right away aren't remembering the reality, but are fogged in a love-struck daze and have rose-colored their memories of meeting.
I am engaged to someone I met on Match. I can't tell you sparks flew right away. He even told me that he saw my profile, saw that I winked at him, and passed me over, initially thinking I wasn't cute enough (thanks, honey). Eventually, he came back to my profile and was struck by me, messaged me, and we met a month later. When we met, it was awkward. We sat in a bar, chain-smoked, and rambled about our lives. I remember looking at him and liking his shirt and thinking he had a charming smile.
I accepted a second date with him. I didn't feel many sparks, but he was nice and he was cute. We started just hanging out together all the time, and one day I looked at him and he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I tend to think it happens gradually like that much more often than just BANG sparks on the first date. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:36:01 PM | I agree with sparks occuring later in the dating relationship. I am more intellectually stimulated than physically. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the outer beauty of others, but it's really the inner workings that capture my interest and keep it going. Beauty waxes and wanes and if that's the basis of the "spark" then love could wax and wane also. A meeting of the minds is the best practice... that's what I beleive! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:42:28 PM | Women seem to be 5 second to 5 minute people -- some of the lines I've heard from women I've met.
"The moment I met you, I knew we were going to get married."
"The night after we met, I dreamt about our wedding."
"I knew I was going to sleep with you when I first saw you."
I think it's a bit crazy, but then again, I am a guy. When I first meet a woman, I can see if I am PHYSICALLY attracted to her. I still have no idea if I am mentally attracted to her or spiritually, or if we have any common interests. You have to stimulate my mind for there to be sparks and you can't do that in 5 seconds or 5 minutes.
Be that as it may, I do realize everyone is different. That won't stop me from secretly chuckling every time I woman says one of these things to me. I can't help it -- it just confuses the heck out of me! | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:46:40 PM | | When you have mutual sparks on a first date, you'll understand. It's grand. Definitely worth holding out for (i.e. not pursuing the non-spark dates and keep dating others until you find that mutual spark). When someone doesn't want to try dating you again, perhaps you didn't exactly repulse her, but she could tell somehow that it wasn't going ever going to happen. That's what people mean by no spark sometimes. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:21:25 PM | | OH, Poor Mr. Word1948 I am a woman near your age, and you need help if you think 60 is on the downhill side, and there is no spark or chemistry. I may be older, but I do not (we do not) have to settle. It may take a little more to get the fire going, I say from lessons learned; but once the kindling is there, it can be a roaring fire. You only get out what you're willing to put in. I don't think you like yourself, so how do you expect others to? I'm just getting started...... up hill, I suggest you turn around. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:48:34 PM | | I don't look for "sparks" on a first date. What I'm looking for is, do I want to continue the conversation with this guy? Is he interesting? I've never experienced "sparks" the first time I met someone and I'm not sure if I'd trust it if I did. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/8/2008 12:34:35 AM | This is an interesting question as I was pondering something quite similiar. A spark can develop instantaneously or over time. I have had many situations where with certain men I didn't feel sparks right away, but over time boy did I ever!
In other situations, with some men, I felt sparks right off the bat!
I dont think there is any rhyme or reason. First dates are kind of awkward and weird. I think it takes several dates to see if there is a spark.
It is overrated. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 4/8/2008 1:09:38 AM | Listen OP. Here is something i have learned in my 20 plus years of dating and 1 marriage. A lot of people overate a lot of things and look for the wrong things to start with. Chemistry for one is one of those things that people look for to soon. Sparks, Sexual attraction which ever one you want to call it is also looked for to soon. I have been out women that the first time i laid eyes on them i knew all i wanted was to lay them. The sexual attraction was there right from the start before a word was said. I have found with me those relationships never lasted. Most of the time within a month or two we were done with each other. That's where i finally realized what i was feeling was nothing but lust. Lust burns out quickly. The women that i didn't feel attracted to i decided to give them a try and see how it worked. I found that the women that i wasn't attracted to in the start after i was around that woman for a while the attraction started to grow. The more i learned about her the more i liked her. The more i wanted to be around her. And one more thing, This thing that i keep seeing posted about if a man can't kiss very good on the first date then it's a no go. That is about the stupidest thing i have ever heard. I went out with a woman one time that told me she was a great kisser. What she was was a great slobber. She slobbered all over me. I liked her but i didn't like the way she kissed. So, I showed her how to kiss me. Now she is a great kisser. Moral of the story, Don't write someone off just because they don't kiss well. TEACH! The one that gets written off because of bad kissing could be a good thing if you handle it right. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 5/6/2008 4:11:59 AM | | Regarding first dates, I think you've hit the nail on the head, Vinny! It's next to impossible to "know" on the first date that this person is for you. My best relationships have been with guys I wasn't really attracted to, initially, but I'm the original "Give the Guy a Chance Girl". So I hung in for a few dates and grew to really click with the guy. For me, the relationships which developed more slowly, were the most precious. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:37:51 AM | I know within the first 5 seconds of meeting a man if there are sparks there
IMO this is a reason why many people are still single. They expect instant chemistry within seconds of meeting the other person. The only things I could figure out that quickly are pure physical attraction or any obvious dealbreakers. Instant chemistry can happen, but I don't think it is an accurate indicator. Sometimes there is instant chemistry, but it doesn't last that long because 2 people aren't compatible with each other or because 1 person has a poor personality.
Unless a man was completely unappealing to me, I would go out with him 2-3 times. Sometimes chemistry can develop on the 2nd or 3rd date date when 2 people get to know each other better. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:46:08 AM | The only things I could figure out that quickly are pure physical attraction or any obvious dealbreakers.
I think most women (and men) who say they can determine sparks in 5 seconds are talking about physical attraction/glaring dealbreakers. I think they are actually defining "spark" or "chemistry" as initial attraction. | |
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| How can you tell on a first date if there are sparks?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:59:46 AM | | First dates are are usually not very comfortable,there is physical attraction, and emotional, it takes time to see if there is both. THe sparks happen when both are comfortable with each other | |
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