| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/8/2008 7:16:54 AM |
But my question is if some is "too busy to date" how in the world will they know if they or i am the one?
Not everyone is looking for The One. Some of us just want to meet some people with whom we can share some activities/experiences when we do have some spare time. Some of us don't make time for things like dining out or concerts cuz we don't want to do them alone. But I do agree that during the process of meeting someone and spending some time with them we may decide we've found someone when we weren't even looking. And I can understand someone who is looking feeling very frustrated with people who are busier or don't manage their time as well or whatever. It doesn't sound like a good way to start or like much of a match. But just cuz someone's experiences are not your own doesn't make them any less valid, just different. You can respect it and work around it or move on, but there's no need to be angry or disrespectful about it. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:56:54 PM | No one is too busy. People... Male and Female use that as an excuse and then when the other person questions it, they are accused of being demanding or insecure Lol.
In my eyes the ones who feel it neccessary to fill their lives up so much, then go on dating sites saying they miss someone special in their lives are the insecure ones.
Long lists of activities do nothing to impress anyone...they just say that person has precious little free time.
Any relationship...whether it just be a friendship ...will take time and even friends deserve a slot in everyones "busy life".
I am a singled mum...i work fulltime, have 2 dogs and 3 hamsters, am running a house, have friends i see often and yet still make the time to see the guy that i want in my life.
Sure some weeks I probably wont see as much of him as other weeks...but i will always make some time...because it's important.
Those...male and female who constantly have no time...need to seriously look at their priorities in life...now before it's too late. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:49:23 PM | | I figure that if they're too busy for me then it's either their way of hoping I'll stop calling or I'm Plan B anyway. I could be wrong on both counts but I've dated plenty of women who were busy and they could always find some time for the things they enjoyed. When they can't (or won't really) one way or another, that's your cue to move along. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:06:20 PM | I know EXACTLY what you mean and I have the same problem with my present date,who I met recently on POF and we met a few times already....
She is a wonderful person and I could"fall for her",but I am not willing to go into a relationship with someone,who I only get to see once every couple of weeks(she has 2 jobs and grown kids).
I don't wanna break it off yet,but I am going to talk to her and see if this is going to change in the near future.If her job and career is her first priority.......well,then I move on.I do have a job and I love my job,but "Love & Relationship" is my first priority...........no question about that !!!!! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:37:40 AM | | I get a kick out of this too.They want a long term relationship...Exclusive and all and want to see you so sporadically that your better off bieng single! That's usually a cop out to....I don't like you/I have a boyfriend/or the guy I'm seeing isn't paying enough attntion to me so I'm using you! and of course lot's more! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:52:48 AM | I'm a workaholic and when I'm not involved with someone I am too busy to date...when I'm seeing someone I make the time and if it's going anywhere I change my work habits drastically.
I am ultimately looking for a ltr, but it doesn't happen in 2 dates (to me anyway)...it's a date...another date...a weekend...dates...holidays...next step, blah blah...example...I recently broke up with someone and started dating again. I left work at half 5 last night, had dinner with someone, went home after a lovely time and worked for 2 hours. If I want to do it, I will make a way for it to happen.
I fill my life with work, friends and my son because there is more time that I'm without a date or partner than I'm with one. Why should I sit home evening after evening because I want to make sure I have 'free time'. I want a full life and if there's someone important to me he'll be part of it...he'll have to work around me and I'll have to work around me. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 3/30/2008 3:41:48 PM | | WHY?! WHY?! do these people waste our time?! seriously!! how inconsiderate can you get?! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 3/30/2008 3:52:31 PM | | From my experience, if someone is truly interested in you they FIND the time to be with you regardless of how busy they are. We all prioritize our lives according to what's important to us. Usually (but not all the time ) if someone says "I'm too busy" or "I don't have the time" it usually means "I'm not that interested" | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:54:52 PM | So ? just move on to someone who has time to invest in a relationship.
You are never going to get 100% attention from a woman with kids or 2 jobs ! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 3/30/2008 9:23:27 PM | I'm not in agreement with the not interested part, though. I just went through this myself. This girl contacted me on a paid dating site. The first date went very well, then flirting and pictures via the cell phone, then meeting her at the mall to share her time with her friends. I lost interest and moved on. She had two jobs plus college. I had to let her know I wasn't in the market for that type of relationship. I think she came to her own conclusion about her dating right now because I haven't seen her on that site in awhile. I just wish she figured this out on her own sooner before she involved me! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:19:08 PM | I understand what you are saying. I was IM from a guy several times before I responded, whose profile said single dad, work alot of hrs and doesn't leave much time to find a mate... Told him right from the start that I was looking for long term and he was looking for dating. He said well you have to start somewhere..TRUE. Well we agreed to meet after talking for 4 days on messenger. Went well ,we seem to really be into each other. Talked for another 4 days till....I asked Q..are we going to concentrate on seeing where the 2 of us go..or are we going to keep looking. Talked about it.. thought we had it solved. It was and he said he had to go...said good night hun...haven't heard from him since..
Now how does any man expect to find a mate when first there really wasn't much time but I was understanding about it. not pushing anything just asked simple Q. To me unless you know what you really want in life then why would you waste the time of others who are trying to find what they want in there life. No time for games.
And yes he would have had his world ...just didn't know it..cause you wouldn't make the time. And I am not the first nor will I be the last.
And I am sure this happens with women as well not just men. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:10:01 PM | | I have connected with one guy off and on for 3 years. He doesn't remember it is me but he is always interested at first - then he is too busy for a relationship. Maybe he is only after one time casual sex if he is that busy. Why else would they be on dating sites? | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:12:12 AM | | That is why on my profile i have 'Looking for Friends' on mine. Id love to be looking for long term and i do want that, but until things change in my life,,the best i can hope for is making a good friend or 2, and of course, the ever addictive POF forums. lolol | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:34:40 AM | ok so if they are "too busy to date" yet they have an online dating profile it could mean various things:
1. they are NOT looking for a relationship. just looking for someone to hang out every now and then and possibly have some type of intimacy.
2. they lead very busy lifestyles BUT if the RIGHT person comes along they WILL make the time to spend w that RIGHT person
3. they might be a tad scared of commitment so they rather say they are too busy when they actually arent just to create some distance and not get too attached or close to the other person.
4. they might be already "taken", hence their busy schedule and only have some left over time to spend w someone else.
5. they just dont want to "seem" too available so they say theyre busy bees so you wont think less of them.
oh... the list can go on and on and on but i think this is enough for now.
happy fishing!!!  | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:29:34 AM | I have friends, male and female, who work part/full-time and who don't work at all due to long term health problems ... and we all are busy with getting on with life. One thing I do know well about my close single friends that finding someone special would also willingly and lovingly create time to get to know each other better.
msg 10 - spot on with #1 & 2! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:26:32 AM | Interesting topic. I actually used to feel that if someone was too busy it meant they weren't interested and wasting my time.
I have changed my outlook on that since discovering that every single time I start meeting people on here, I am really busy!
Some people give up and I don't blame them. I would have done the same too.
I've also run into the types who put you on hold, but then expect you to be available when they are!
Really, I now put it down to not communicating. Now when someone gives me that busy stuff, I ask them point blank if they are really interested. Usually, they are and they just had alot on their plate.
It's interesting how one can change their outlook once you have experienced something for yourself!
I live out of town so things are not as easy for me as those who live in town. I can't just always hop on out the door. I'd love to have that option, but I don't :( | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:38:16 AM | | There is to such thing as to busy. It should be read, you have not reached any significant value yet. And it’s fair. We all have to done it. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:07:56 AM | | I think it's because we still want those things, even though we are busy. Another problem is finding time to be alone with another. For instance, those who have roomates or who don't live alone, find it hard to have much private time. It doesn't mean we don't want too, though. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:27:45 AM | | I so agree with you OP!. I understand that most people have to work for a living and I don't expect to spend 24/7 with a man but once a week would be nice,lol. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 6:51:02 PM | | I meet alot of men like that. If your too busy raising a child or children then why are u on here? If u work all the time and it takes 3 weeks to contact me for a date. I think your too busy! U have to make time in your life for dating. If u choose to date u have to make it a priority! Please don't contact me anymore if there is no time for me! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:29:40 PM | | The most annoying thing is when a man actually agrees to go on a date with me. But whenever I try to set up plans, he always claims that he is unavailable. I would rather have a man tell me that he isn't interested. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:40:16 PM | | We are all busy with our lives in general on a day to day basis. If I met someone and really wanted to get to know them better, I would make the time. If a person tells me that they have no time for me, I would give them the benefit of the doubt (to an extent). Once a certain amount of time has passed, and I didn't hear from them, I would move on....Life is too short to be wasted on people that don't want me in their lives.... | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/24/2008 3:52:15 PM | | yep and if its that hard to get a man to spend time with me then they just are not that into me and its time to move on. If a man/woman is really into the other person then they will make time to see them. | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/24/2008 4:05:26 PM | Why should someone have to stop trying for something they want, just because you think they should? Perhaps they realize that if they don't keep the ball rolling they won't be desirable to date they type of people they'd like to meet? Would you prefer a silly, lazy, a$$ that either has no other commitments, or is irresponsible and willing to drop other important things in her life to be at your beck and call??
I'm in a poopie mood.. if I were in a good mood I probably wouldn't even respond to this post...so... sorry! | |
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| Too busy to date then why try
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:20:29 PM | Admission: I did not read all three pages of this thread.
That said, I think workaholism is a common behavioral addiction that serves a similar function as drug addiction and alcoholism - distancing a person from situations involving feelings.
DOES THE SHOE FIT? | |
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