| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:12:03 PM | Men love blowjobs....especially good ones...bad ones are pretty good too ! He must have had a man blow him and the guilt is kiling him. Theres a wire loose...BEWARE !
Take a poll............no pun intended.................as a man who enjoys blowjobs ? | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:39:31 PM | | Have ya ever just thought of ASKING him what's going on, in a nice way, of course...when it's just you two and you ask in such a way that he can open up alittle.... | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:00:50 PM | | He probably just cums too soon and wishes to stave off any stimulation until he can take it! He's probably embarassed that he is a premature ejaculator! | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:27:26 PM | He went limp cuz she was doing something he was uncomfortable with? What the hell could that be?
Make no mistake.....WE LOVE BLOWJOBS ! ! We hate teeth....but still would accept a blowjob anyday....anytime. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:34:48 PM | | OP- you say it's hard until you go to touch it, well, I've found that putting a soft penis in my mouth and letting it get hard is always fun. Try that. Maybe he will learn to relax and become hard again. If he fears going soft, maybe that is why he does it. If you let him know you like sucking his soft****just as much as his hard one, maybe that will turn him on? | |
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Render
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Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 5:35:34 PM | ^^^^
SlumberParty, you rock my world!
OP: I hate to say it, but it sounds like this guy has been molested. The situation just screams "forced to give a priest a BJ" He may never get over this, you have to decide if you care about him as a total package or not. If this is a deal-breaker, then at least let him down easy, and suggest he get counseling. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 6:53:48 PM | This is one for lovelines psychologist. Google them and call their show.
I think what vernie14 pointed out made a lot of sense. Linking the religion together with the other issue -- I think/guess it might be guilt. Sabotaging himself from letting himself feel good. Some people go to those extremes.
So if this is the case what about his inhibitions? Tried alcohol?
Also what if you have him undress and you massage him from head to toe. So he gets used to your touch and its more of a whole experience? I dunno what I am trying to say exactly but I think it'd be worth trying if it doesn't succeed it is more info to tell the lovelines dr, they ask oodles of questions.
Obviously a) his equipment works and b) its psychological
If you ask the big M question I would do it far away from the bedroom or anything sexual to spare his feelings or this could make a bad situation even more hopeless. But you're wonderful for working through this with him. I'd write every online columnist and sex specialist you could find. Google google google. If you get past this with him it will take your relationship andd trust to a whole nother level. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 10:18:36 PM | He is how he is . . . . respect him . . . . MOVE ON!
Trying to change someone is not a good way to start . . . SEXUALLY you two are not a MATCH!
~Myth~ | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 10:26:16 PM | I'm sorry you are going through this. This sounds a bit like my former husband. There was some stuff in his background that made him this way - I'll be darned to know what it ever was as he wasn't willing to go the distance in therapy. It was too hard to figure it all out.
Yes, there are men like this. It's not unheard of, just men are more blatent in their bravado and silent in their fears. I've a close friend that knows of this as she hears the real life stuff behind closed doors in her therapist office.
If he's not willing to talk about it, then there's not much you can do. Of course there are men that don't care for oral sex, men that love it but can't orgasm that way, but one that doesn't want to be touched? I'd guess something deeper in his hestation - a real mental block.
Good luck - you can only be open and honest and suggest because you care. It's not possible to lead a horse to water. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 11:02:15 PM | hey OK all you Sex therapists. Enough already.
Could it be entirely possible the dude just doesn't like blowjobs?
Some women don't like giving them aren't there?
So theres someone for everyone apparently.
I have personally have known a few guys that said they didn't like blowjobs.And i've met women that just weren't into oral but loved to screw.
I understand the lady's issue in wanting to give and touch.
the way i see it is she has the problem.She wants a partner to suck on mutually of course.so instead of forcing this guy,he obviously isn't the one for her and vice versa.
can we not lay blame to the homophobic priests molester's and other aliens and spacemen.
I did ask a friend of mine who didn't like head why he felt that way.
he said it felt he was degrading the woman. well his loss in my books
but ya gotta respect his decision.
just my 2 cents. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 11:08:08 PM | I hear of some women not liking to receive oral but not a guy not willing to get it.
I don't think I could handle the situation. Having a lower sex drive than me would be one thing but to have actual "issues" with sex whether it be religious guilt or whatever, would probably drive me away. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/10/2008 11:10:57 PM | maybe you need to ease him into it. as in just stroke it for now and then eventually try to take it to the next level. i used to date someone who was very very sexually 'boring' but slowly things got better and all it took was introducing something new one step at a time (new positions, toys, etc).
if he's worth it to you, take your time and help him through it. and if he really REALLY doesnt like it... decide what else you can do so that YOU dont feel 'useless' | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/11/2008 12:48:14 AM | | Psych prob way to many things to cover in a forum like this he needs profesional help. Might be something about you too. | |
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| What? lol
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:02:59 AM | Ok, I'm thinking he's the type sitting on his couch with his male friend under a blanket and make you sit on the floor...lol
Sorry, I just think it's your sex (as in Female) he doesn't like, not you... | |
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| What? lol
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:54:42 AM | choppy1931  Bingo ,,, what heterosexual male doesn't want Oral ,,, anytime,,, anyplace,,, for that matter from anyone ,,,  | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| What? lol
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:06:22 AM | ^^^^^^Ahhhhhh, I'm thinking John Bobbitt may be a tad bit reluctant.
But back to the OPie's OP...was she asking for psychiatric evaluations, or assistance in wanting to know new ways to get him to try.
But I do think it's cute the number of people psychoanalyzing a guy they know nothing about without any personnel comments from him. Yeah, 99% of all guys like BJ's. 99% of all women like intercourse. 99% of all adults like ______. Point is, it's not 100%. Heck, this guy could have had a sexual predator try to give him a BJ at some age and now has problems with anybody doing such. But that wasn't the OPie's question.
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| What? lol
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:45:18 AM | question was is there any chance of changing this ((((( doesnt like his penis touched or oral ))))) or is she just going to make a mess of things if she tries ,,, answer MOVE ON GIRRRRLLLLLLLLL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> u want to please and he doesn't LIKE  | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:09:34 PM | I agree with what alot of people said, he may have been molested as a child, and he doesnt have fond memories of being touched in such a way, because it may be mentally painful, although i wouldn't straight up ask him, he may feel like there is something wrong with him in your eyes if something never occured. Just ask him why he doesn't like it.
1.ask if it is painful. If yes, see a doc..if no, then ask if he feels sensitive
2. if it a sesitivity issue, get some lube, easy gliding?
3. explaint o him how much touching him turns you on, this alone may make him feel more confident
4. mayne he thinks his member is physically repulsive? I have met inexpericed guys who are very shy about their penis, and i mean, right above your mouth is your eyes!
just ask him whats up | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:58:43 PM | | A lot of people are missing the very clear point from the original post... it's not that the OP's boyfriend "doesn't like blowjobs" that's just what she happens to be offering him. He's shying away from all sexual contact period. Not enjoying blowjobs is not a problem. Being reluctant (afraid?) to have sex at all, is a problem. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:06:30 PM | re the Opost
Maybe he is paranoid and misinformed re STDs???!!!!! Maybe offer to do with a condom on!!! lol lol
FGS, the guy was originally going to wait til he got married!!!!! | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:51:39 AM | If you think the relationship is going somewhere...then by all means sit down and talk about the problem (non-judgmentally) and see if you both can resolve it.
If it isn't going anywhere...let it end naturally.
To me...if you don't anything that looks like where it's heading. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:21:31 AM | OP, my guess is that something mental is going on with your boyfriend. Whatever the reason, you may be able to overcome his issue without professional help by moving slowly. Using a slow progression, you may want to start by stroking down his body to his legs without touching his genitals. Perhaps the next time, gently happen to brush his genitals with your arm while stroking his legs. Perhaps some fingernails running down his chest onto his stomach area and ending with his pubic hair but not touching his genitals and back up either crease to his hips and back up toward his chest. Let him slowly adjust to your hands being all over him and slowly let him get used to you lightly brushing up against him and he may have a change of heart. If that doesn't work, suggest he get some professional help with his mental issues.
Are you ever on top??? Maybe the momentary touch of you guiding him inside you will help him get over the "no touch" issues. Good luck. | |
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| Need some advice... re: blowjobs
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:38:35 AM | | I would first ask myself has he been abused in the past? as it sounds like theres something deep going on but then again if theres no problem the only thing i would suggest is one time to try handcuffing and blindfolding him on the bed as his senses should be heightened and maybe that will work | |
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