|
|
|
|
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:31:49 PM | WOW, I am really glad I posted this thread, there has been some great comments.
What I find so interesting though is that most of the women all say the same thing, that the men they have been with don't get it when it comes to foreplay, and the men all say the same thing, that foreplay is SO important to them and they love it.
What is going on with this picture? I am not saying that the men are lying, but like DESI said earlier she has heard it all, " I am going to make love to you all night long" , but when it comes right down to it, they don't deliver. I have had the exact same thing happen, men will do all and say all the right things to get you convinced that sex with them is going to be the greatest thing and then when they get in bed, they are totally sefish. The last guy I had decided to get intimate with, I had this whole conversation with him before hand and he gave me about 3 or 4 minutes or oral and maybe a few kisses ( I had never had oral performed so rough before) I told him I prefered to be touched and kissed tenderly and can you believe that he actually mocked me and said "Oh, she wants to be touched tender". He already had the condom out and was ready for what he thought was coming next, but much to his surprise, I told him it was over and I got my clothes and went home. I never heard from him again, and I didn't attempt to call him either.
I have to agree with what someone said earlier, I think that alot of men my age have come out of bad marriages and their wives just told them " hurry up and get it over with" so that is what they are used and they have alot of baggage and don't want to talk about it.
I have decided that I will not be with a selfish man, and if he is not trying to please me then I will stop right there and will not have sex with him. I agree, if more women would stop sleeping with these guys, then MAYBE they will get the hint and either die lonely or figure it out!!!!!!
Thanks again for all your input, it is great, keep it coming. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:42:36 PM | The joke goes that three guys were on a bus, going up into Scotland to a mathematician's conference. At the border, they cross, and see a single sheep standing by the road.
The high school physics teacher says "Wow, all the sheep in Scotland are black!"
The college algebra professor shakes his head condescendingly and corrects, "Well, we know that *one* of the sheep in Scotland is black..."
The quantum physicist raises his nose out of the book, pushes his glasses up his nose and blinks, saying, "Actually, all we know is that *one* of the sheep in Scotland is black on *one* side..."
What I find so interesting though is that most of the women all say the same thing, that the men they have been with don't get it when it comes to foreplay, and the men all say the same thing, that foreplay is SO important to them and they love it.
What is going on with this picture? I am not saying that the men are lying, but like DESI said earlier she has heard it all, " I am going to make love to you all night long" , but when it comes right down to it, they don't deliver.
The important bit to remember is that it's, what, only four or five guys in here are saying it.
Call our bluff. I dare ya ;-).
Cowboy | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:47:25 PM |
I told him I prefered to be touched and kissed tenderly and can you believe that he actually mocked me and said "Oh, she wants to be touched tender".
Did we date the same man?! I told a man that I loved to touch and be touched. He told me that touching is such a "girl thing" (and he DIDN'T get the hint and touch me more...that was the last time I saw him). | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:04:00 PM | PTA, I'm going to offer my opinion here, it might be right or it might be wrong, who knows. I believe that what most of the men and I state most not all, because I don't know is actually true.
Some of us actually derive a great deal of personal satisfaction by performing foreplay and seeing the lady that we are with get all weak in the knees and basically become a pile of goo (by goo I am referring to they are so excited and for filled that they are on cloud nine, ten or eleven). Its one hell of an ego booster for a guy. The more we can do it the more confident we become in doing it.
Yes, we men tend to talk a big game and sometimes if not most of the time we might not come through with it. Is this because we are lying, maybe then again maybe not. Maybe they were trying so hard and got excited to much or to quickly that they burnt themselves out. Then again maybe they were just talking a big game to get you into bed.
Is it because like you or someone stated earlier that alot of men your age have come out of bad marriages and have basically been trained by their ex's to just basically hurry up and get over with it. Possible, however I don't think so. If a guy is interested at all in making sure that you are sexually for filled before sex starts you shouldn't have to give him the speech like you did with the last guy you were with.
You should actually be able to pick up on what type of guy he is by just talking with him, if he is actually caring and not just BSing you to get you into bed. There are differences and I think a lot of women (not all mind you) can tell the difference between someone who is sincere and someone who is BSing you.
If you don't mind me asking who was it that suggested going to the bedroom first, I'm going to guess it was him, if I'm wrong then let me know. A guy who is concerned about your pleasure will basically try to make sure that it is a mutual idea if not the womans idea that way he knows he's not pushing the issue. For as much as some guys might like to think and I have a few friends who think this way it's not them but the women who control how, when, where if and when sex is going to happen.
Once again these are my thoughts.  | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:11:18 PM | One other side note, like Cowboy said there has only been a handful of guys who have stated what we have said on here. If you look at the replies and views at least at the moment there have been like 80 replies and I think most of them have come from about 10 people however about 1900 people have viewed this thread.  | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:08:56 PM | who needs foreplay.
if a man gets tooo much play hes out the gate before hes even inside. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:15:49 PM |
One other side note, like Cowboy said there has only been a handful of guys who have stated what we have said on here. If you look at the replies and views at least at the moment there have been like 80 replies and I think most of them have come from about 10 people however about 1900 people have viewed this thread.
I hope some of those 'views' are those OTHER guys (the ones who don't get it), and they are taking notes. | |
|
octoro
|
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 83 | |
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:29:50 PM | Hey PTA....if most people on POF just put their whatever past behind them and got together within a week then you'd hear " It was great" but ALAS....... 
Stimulate her whole body so she bangs longer(multiples).... | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:50:51 PM | | Dear OP, thanks for a great thread, best ever. A special thanks to Cowboy and Andy for the big smiles and insight. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:59:08 PM |
who needs foreplay.
if a man gets tooo much play hes out the gate before hes even inside.
Yes, but if you've done it right, then you have pleased her and she will be happy with you, and if you're so excited by that point, then obviously, it was good for you too. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:53:10 PM | This is a fantastic thread. Oh to be closer to Cowboy and Andy! Ah well. The idea of constant foreplay within a relationship and keeping eachother on our toes most of the time just appeals to me.
I really hope more guys are reading this thread and taking extensive notes, and maybe even printing it to keep it for reference. It's really that good. I've had mostly really bad partners in bed. From Mr. "Oh we have ten minutes, let's have sex! You mean that's not foreplay?" to Mr. "Where do I put this thing and when? I only know that we have interlocking parts and I'm horny!"
Though Cowboy left me thinking quite seriously about cloning, Garnet probably had one of the most interesting points when he said that we really need to give our partners permission to be selfish for them to truly enjoy pure receiving something like oral sex and that may come with the trust that in focusing the attention fully on the enjoyment of the act, we are actually giving back to our partners. If he doesn't keep my brain in the here and now by giving me that permission, my brain is racing ahead to the next thing that's going to happen and what my role will be in that. I'm a natural multitasker, and I'm sorry to say that I can and have multitasked sex. As with any multitasked anything, nothing gets your full attention, and each aspect of sex should really have that attention fully. But that permission and the trust that taking that permission is not going to be thrown back at you at some point is critical. People who will come at their partners in an argument with "I performed oral on you for like an hour and now you're XYZ" destroy that trust and permission from that point forward. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:03:57 PM | Actually some men know more about our clits than we do. My ex use to be able to tell when the clit got hard and when it was about ready to cum.
.......well god I hate to brag but.........................................
op why is it the man's fault? just because you read it on POF doesn't mean it's true
foreplay can also be over done.  | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:13:35 PM | So... maybe half a dozen of us guys are willing to come out as Foreplay Crusaders, but there's almost 2000 viewers? Interesting... So, does that really mean that less than 1% of guys are really willing to do foreplay for... half, one, two... six hours? Heck, what am I saying "willing" I mean EAGER.
What the hell are you lurkers doing? Are you lick'em & stick'em, Foreplay under 45seconds kinda guys? | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:31:16 PM | foreplay is great! definitely need a lot of kinky foreplay. it's a must!  | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 1:18:05 AM | I was always under the impression that guys who barely bothered with foreplay were an urban myth perpetuated by women in order to ensure everyone tried harder... like saying 80% of guys don't know where the clit or g-spot is, or 10-20 % of women have never had an orgasm, or something like that. Guess I was wrong!
Personally, my ego gets a massive kick out of making a good impression, so I'll generally do pretty much whatever I need to to make sure that happens. Plus if I like her enough, I obviously want to make damn sure she wants to see me again for more! Not every girl is going to come through intercourse every single time, but there are at least a couple other ways she will...
That said, if she doesn't make any effort herself, I'll lose interest pretty quick. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 4:39:51 AM | I sure hope it is more than a half a dozen, but based on what I am seeing here, it sure seems like it.
I also hope that they "other" guys are reading this thread and taking GOOD notes. I am so ready to have someone rock my world!! | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 4:46:49 AM |
foreplay can also be over done.
Sez who? | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:18:04 AM |
Though Cowboy left me thinking quite seriously about cloning, Garnet probably had one of the most interesting points when he said that we really need to give our partners permission to be selfish for them to truly enjoy pure receiving something like oral sex and that may come with the trust that in focusing the attention fully on the enjoyment of the act, we are actually giving back to our partners.
And Garnet's right, absolutely.
The other thing, and something else Garnet mentioned, is that sometimes, you need to also give your partners permission to be *selfish* for them to truly enjoy pure GIVING something like oral sex, too.
You have to get away from the "balance sheet" mentality. There's no "...he did that, so now I HAVE to do this..." crap. *I* want to run the tip of my tongue slowly up the inside of your thigh because *I* love the sensation, I love how the muscle quivers under my touch, I love watching your chest heave, seeing the the patterns of 'the flush' emerge, the tiny gasps... I love the sound of the linens stretching when you grab them up in your fist with one hand, and grab a hold of my long hair with the other...
This ain't got NOTHIN' to do with me thinking "hmm, hope she likes this enough to earn me some oral credits for later..."
I do NOT want someone taking me in their hands, or their mouth, because they think they "owe" me anything. I want them to do it because they cannot and will not resist the urge and they left all their 'self doubt' and 'self consciousness' in that pile of clothes at the foot of the bed... or on the side of the dock, or on that bush at the side of the forest clearing ;-).
Cowboy | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:28:22 AM |
you have to get away from the "balance sheet" mentality.
There are people, though, who suck up everything you can give, but give very little in return. I was married to one..I kept giving and giving for years, because it's what you do when you love someone. I got pretty resentful, wondering when when it was going to be my turn to 'get'. If you don't pay attention to who's giving and who's getting, at some point you become a doormat. These days, I figure out early on if I'm not 'getting', and get out. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:30:47 AM | Foreplay is awesome. There are times when I'd rather just do that all nite. I think it's fun, and if you're doing it right you get to learn a lot about the persons sexuality. It's not about getting to the sex, it's all about the act/acts themselves. Knowing what your partner likes/dislikes and I even use it to judge what they're going to want when it's time. Boring foreplay means I am gone. The main event is never good if the undercard isn't.
And Cowboy is right, forget the I owe you stuff people. I once had a girl say "Here's my hand(!) do what you want with it."
So I politely led her to my door. | |
|
| foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:51:48 AM |
And Cowboy is right, forget the I owe you stuff people. I once had a girl say "Here's my hand(!) do what you want with it." So I politely led her to my door.
And so much of how that situation would go depends on how she said it ;-).
Some ladies have years of conditioning *not* to be doing stuff like that, and point in fact, that might have been one of the hardest things she's ever had to say out loud... pardon the innuendo ;-).
Fact of the matter is, nobody knows how to handle our gear as well as we do ourselves. I'm remembering a particular Seinfeld episode, here ;-). Might be, she was looking for education in how best to 'handle' your particular 'situation'.
And it is, by the way, six different kinds of rewarding to take a lovely lady up on that offer if it's meant honestly and openly.
My response, assuming the proper intent, and the particular kinetics of the moment, would be to either say "...and here's mine, show me what you would like..." or, at the very least, let her know that I will, but only if I can be reciprocating in the VERY near future. (and ten points for every double entendre, unintentional as it was, you can make out of that ;-) ).
Ok, now where's a good cold shower when you need it ;-).
Cowboy
| |
|
| RE: Cowboy
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:02:18 AM | You ever heard Stephen Hawking? He sounded more lively. She was far more experienced than I was at the time, and I assure you that means a lot!
There are often times when I'm with someone where I'll openly and politely ask what it is they want me to do. As another poster said, we don't come with an instruncion manual. So I'm going to need to ask questions, and so is she.
I learned a long time ago to never be embarrased to do that. It always works out really good, sometimes it's funny.
Then again, I make jokes during foreplay. I've been told this isn't not proper. I always say, stick with what got you to the dance. | |
|
| RE: Cowboy
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:45:58 AM | For the guys that have no imagination and don't know where to kiss, gently stroke and caress a woman, I strongly suggest you look for a book titled "The Erogonous Zones". If you can't find, or are too lazy to look for the book, try and remember the spots on your body that you like to have touched or tickled and do the same for your lady!
A quick primer for the clueless would be, other than the actual sexual organs, would be the ears, neck, inside of the elbows, inside of her wrists, base of her thumb, behind her knees, tops of her ankles and a personal favorite of mine from the edge of her hips down the crease in between the top of her thighs down to her vagina. Sensitivity of each area varies in between women, but when she moans, shudders and shakes you are most likely doing it right! | |
|
| RE: Cowboy
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:58:21 AM | Yes, yes, yes.
Outstanding post.
If you're keeping a mental balance sheet, you ain't gonna get there. Especially if half the stuff on it is left over from your ex!
A previous poster said 15 minutes to get to her toes. Well, if you're watching the clock, you ain't gonna get there either! Once the foreplay starts (which could be over dinner or during a movie, or walking home) time looses it's meaning.
Cunnilingus is great fun. And its a learning experience EVERY time. Sure, my tongue can get tired (perhaps I just need to exercise it more in just that way. May I practice on you?) and sometimes it gets hard to breathe (thinner women have an advantage here, sorry, but its the truth). But through the whole experience I'm constantly learning what pleases you, what doesn't and how I can improve. | |
|
| Foreplay
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:05:56 AM |
Hey! How'd the subject get changed from Foreplay to Cowboy??
Yikes
Yeah, holy crap! That's more performance anxiety than even I might be able to deal with ;-)
Let's just change that right back...
Cowboy | |
|
|
| Page 4 of 7
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
Home
login 
