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Posted: 2/12/2008 7:11:47 AM | You've no doubt heard about the Slow Food movement?
Now, slowly on its heels comes the Slow Sex movement!
Check out the following article:
http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2008/02/09/6943/ | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 7:44:26 AM | Not all of us in the male half of the population don't enjoy foreplay. I learned several years ago, that I enjoyed the foreplay more than I enjoyed the actual sex. Some of us, myself included, have studied, practiced, and damn-near perfected foreplay, invloving everyone from eye contact to sensual full-body massages. Ever since the first woman I had sex with, I have been able to give a woman at least one orgasm each time, some times upwards of 20+. This is not because of any special secrets or anything. It's because I take my time, try different forms of foreplay, and pay close attention to her reactions to everything I do. If she enjoys it, I continue, if she seems to not enjoy it, then I try something different. Every woman is different; each enjoys different things. Part of the reason I enjoy the foreplay so much more than the sex, is that it actually allows for creativity and imagination.
For those women who fake orgasms a lot, those of us men who actually know what is going on down there, and actually know what happens during the female orgasm, can almost always tell when it is being faked.
I'm a firm believer in the Jeff Foxworthy saying: "If she ain't happy, you ain't happy. And if she ain't happy long enough, you're gonna be unhappy with half your stuff." | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 7:50:18 AM | | I would like to say one thing though that irritates. I have yet to have sexual relations with a woman who enjoyed foreplay, but actually returned the foreplay. Some of us guys like foreplay too, but it would seem that most women aren't in to it. I might be wrong. This is just from my experiences. I have yet to have a woman nibble on my ear, kiss on my neck or chest, or do much of anything else before sex. It always occurs during sex. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 8:04:01 AM | | I can only speak for myself.....foreplay is the best part of having sex. If a man does his"job" right the foreplay can be endless and if you spend enought time doing it and she has several orgasams before the actual sex act she wont mind how long you last "in the saddle" and be satisfied | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 8:05:29 AM |
I have yet to have sexual relations with a woman who enjoyed foreplay, but actually returned the foreplay.
More than half the men I've been with suffered from premature ejaculation. Not just during intercourse, but during foreplay...a minute of oral on him, touch him too much, and, as the last guy said, "stop, or it's all over". That's ok with younger guys, but older ones won't be ready again until tomorrow, and once they come, they lose interested in anything else. Sad, huh? | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 8:22:05 AM |
More than half the men I've been with suffered from premature ejaculation. Not just during intercourse, but during foreplay...a minute of oral on him, touch him too much, and, as the last guy said, "stop, or it's all over".
Might want to start thinking of that as a compliment, Des ;-). It might not be PE, it just might be your skilled touch!
But, uh, thing is, they DO make a little pill for that now. I know sure as shootin' when I, assumedly eventually reach that age, I will certainly avail myself of it's properties. And if I were you, a definite positive strong woman that knows what she wants, YOU buy them and have them on hand. You can always try the line "I *know* you don't *need* it, but a girlfriend told me that it can be amazing if..." We're simple creatures. We'd fall for that line.
Mind you, it might kill him, but, I'm sure that's a risk you're willing to take, for great sex ;-).
Personally, I will not be one of those guys like George Burns once said "Sex at my age is like shooting pool with a rope". Nope, me, shooting pool, 17 ounce Dufferin Royal, straight, well balanced, ready to go. Is now, ever shall be ;-).
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 8:50:26 AM | OK, Desi, PTA, Rowdysheis, Birdie, and any other gals. I don't mean to turn the topic of conversation too much here, but you've heard some of our side of it. Of how at least some of us really enjoy spending lots of time not just in bed (or in a clearing in the woods, LOL) but extending foreplay throughout the whole evening through eye contact over dinner, conversation, etc, etc.
So, what tricks do the gals have to get their man to draw out the experience and make it worthwhile?
Cause I'm guessing (from your postings) that it just don't come natural to the other 'men' out there. (they don't know what they're missing!) | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 9:15:08 AM | well its sad that anyone needs sex that much in a relationship anyway...but i don't blame them for not getting into foreplay...it not something i need...i rather just get it done and over with so i can go back to sleep... | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 10:43:06 AM | Oh, Yikes!
well its sad that anyone needs sex that much in a relationship anyway
No, we don't need it, but it sure is nice when its offered. I don't need chocolate, or a smooth glass of wine or a responsible government either! But I'd sure like it.
This isn't about what's needed. Its about sharing and caring in a certain way that can make someone feel special and appreciated.
However I'm glad you posted. Its refreshing to hear an alternate opinion. I'm sure there's something in life that would really float your boat which I would have no interest in also. And that's part of what makes life so interesting. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 10:53:42 AM | | I've been lying in bed, feeling puny, and reading some of these posts. The ones made by men describing what foreplay should be like. I thought I had fever but I think that feeling started inside me.....DANG! It's hot in here. I've already turned the electric blanket off and now I'll have to turn the heater off. Geez....Some of you guys know what you're doing. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 11:01:17 AM | So, what tricks do the gals have to get their man to draw out the experience and make it worthwhile?
Wish I knew; I'd bottle it and be a millionaire. If a man is 'into' that, he'll do it on his own. If he's not into it, I don't know that there is anything you can do. I can't make a man do oral or kiss me more or touch me in the right places; I can only ask. I tried doing 'stuff' to him, hoping he'd get the hint and do it back, but he stopped me. He didn't want to give or receive ANYTHING. He wasn't interested in anything but wham bam, roll over and go to sleep. (I do have a theory... this wasn't a one night stand...we were in a 3 month-long relationship. I think he was afraid that showing any emotion was a slippery slope and he might actually fall in love...he was too scared to go there...at least that's what I'd like to think...or maybe I was played..but if that was the case, he could have had a lot more sex than he got) | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 11:10:24 AM | OK, I'm reading this, and I see guys talking about going for the "hot spots" with everything but their tool. To me, I leave those until last. I'll tease around them, the ocasional light touch as I drag a finger or my lips teasingly accross them or warm breath breathed over it, but I leave those until she's squirming, panting, moaning and begging me to touch them when I go near. I like to be really sure she's ready for me to touch her there.  | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 11:47:00 AM | message 110)
lol...well the only thing that i like is the quickie...cause sex is something i have no interest in anymore...any guy who gets involved with me will be told many times to use his hand and a porn to cure his horniness unless i'm actually in the mood for a change...last thing i want is a relationship based of sex... | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 11:47:12 AM | Yes, Barbie'sOlderSister, Thats what we love to hear.
Geez....Some of you guys know what you're doing.
Foreplay isn't just 'the stuff you do before stuffing you too'. If I'm having a tongue party with you, and things are going right, and you're clearly ready to move on to more, I'll just as likely stay there until you just can't stand it anymore. Cause giving pleasure is 3/4 of the game. So what's the other 3/4? Sorry, thats a secret. Besides, what's the rush? | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 2:30:05 PM | Correct me if i'm wrong but I don't remember any of us saying that any of our relationships were based on sex, wondering1980. Sounds like someone had a vary bad experience with sex at one point. Sorry to hear that, what the men and woman are saying is that we care about the other persons needs and desires to be pleased. Not just a wam bam thank you mam, or wan bam thank you sir in your case.
We are more involved or evolved in just the physical experience, we like to take it to a higher plain that deals with both the physical and emotional levels. And for us guys who know what we are doing yah it's one heck of a charge to watch the person your with just melt into your arms because of what your doing, sex might happen then again it might not.
It's all good. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 3:50:21 PM | Why is sex so important... Well, I have plenty of friends, but to my way of thinking, sex is a big part of what differentiates a Lover from a Friend. It's not the only thing, but it's the most easily defined thing. Sure, you could say love, trust, respect... but aren't those also how you define your close friends?
Anyways...
Cowboy brought up the "Balance Sheet." There is definitely no need for that in a healthy, GGG (Good, Giving, Game ... Google for "Dan Savage") relationship. I had sort of a notion that the "Balance Sheet" concept could almost be like training wheels for a healthy sex life. If some greedy me-first mind comes to the bedroom... well, they should probably be kicked out of it... but, if you're interested in maybe salvaging the person this might be a way to start. Simple concept "If you want to get, you have to give." If a person is worth salvaging they'll learn to give naturally, and the balance sheet will get tossed. If after a few weeks they're still going over the "who did what for who, so who owes who what" then they're not learning.
Something in the posts reminded me of the essay "Dance like no one's Watching." The basic premise of the essay, is that there's all these... impediments between where you are now and what you need to do to "get one with your life." Of course, the point is that these things aren't what's in the way of life, they ARE your life. So... what the hell am I going on about? Here it is... a lot of men (apparently) see Foreplay as an impediment to the sex they want to be having... but the foreplay is sex!!! | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 4:02:02 PM | | Garnet73, [ but the foreplay is sex!!!] I'm not disagreeing with that statement one bit, I totally agree with you. I think a lot of people consider penetration as the sex part instead of the whole process which is unfortunate. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 4:22:20 PM | ^^^^^^^^ So totally agree with you trev01us......
Penetration is such a small (no pun intended to some) part of lovemaking.... whether it be cuddling, touching, stroking, kissing, nibbling or a good hard a$$ f*ck... it's all sex. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 5:01:18 PM |
If after a few weeks they're still going over the "who did what for who, so who owes who what" then they're not learning.
LOLs, this just reminded me of something from a long time ago. Me cooking used to equal sex. (eggs were a BJ, full out meal in the evening was, a good long night 
I miss cooking... | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 6:36:45 PM | | I think too many people have lost sight of the issue here, isnt foreplay all about pleasing your partner? I honestly think that there is so much more to foreplay than people realise. Like the art of touch, me personally, i love to find everyone of "those" spots on my ladies body. Whether it be with my lips, tongue or fingers. Seeing that special person lost in feelings and emotions is just the start of lovemaking. Multiple orgasms prior to intercourse will get my vote anyday! | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 8:44:32 PM |
We're simple creatures. We'd fall for that line.
You ARE my brutha from another mutha...
I must be the city version with short hair!
Andy | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 9:18:57 PM | Don't come with a manual? Sure they do. I did a lot of reading before I ever had sex. I knew all the parts and lots of techniques before my first time. There's plenty of books out there and the internet, so there's no reason at all for a guy to be bad at foreplay other than he's just a dumbass.
So I figure since a girl can have a lot more enjoyment than a guy, why not take advantage of it? | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 9:34:52 PM |
Don't come with a manual? Sure they do. I did a lot of reading before I ever had sex. I knew all the parts and lots of techniques before my first time. There's plenty of books out there and the internet, so there's no reason at all for a guy to be bad at foreplay other than he's just a dumbass.
Those are the technical manuals. They never did make a user manual. | |
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Posted: 2/12/2008 10:28:16 PM |
Don't come with a manual? Sure they do. I did a lot of reading before I ever had sex.
You make a good point, but don't forget, all women are different. I've known women who LOVED to be touched in a certain place, and women who HATED being touched there. You gotta try different things and see what your woman responds to.
What I'm wondering is, Why do you women keep on having sex with men who are bad at it? We men are pragmatic creatures. If we had to be good in order to get sex, you bet we'd work harder at satisfying the women. It's just that so many will accept whatever we give, that we do get lazy. Not me, of course, heh, I'm talking about...those other guys. | |
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Posted: 2/13/2008 5:46:22 AM |
What I'm wondering is, Why do you women keep on having sex with men who are bad at it? We men are pragmatic creatures. If we had to be good in order to get sex, you bet we'd work harder at satisfying the women. It's just that so many will accept whatever we give, that we do get lazy. Not me, of course, heh, I'm talking about...those other guys.
Ohhhjim, that is SO true. If more women did that, maybe guys would wise up. Treating a lady right is the price men pay (or should pay) for sex. I ended my last relationship ONLY because the intimacy wasn't there. In every other way, he could easily have been The One. I told him and told him that I needed the kissing and hugging, not just sex...of course he just thinks I cheated and found someone better. Sigh. There's one guy who will never get it....I hope he reads this thread. | |
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