adg60
|
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 51 | |
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 2/15/2008 2:42:33 PM | I so agree with NobleExperiments comment...why waste each other's time. Go ahead and meet to see if there is any chemistry. If there is great... but if there isnt' you can move on. I have chatted online for several weeks before meeting in the past just to find there was nothing there. We both wasted a lot of time. If you're not sure why not go ahead and meet. Then you'll know one way or another...
Good Luck! | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 2/15/2008 3:35:36 PM | I've had several dates since joining POF. One was actually a man I had known casually years ago.... we reconnected on here and dated for a few months. Then last fall I went on one date with a man I'd been chatting with for a while. I invited him to a POF coffee/pool night, and he proceeded to critique the playing ability of everyone there. An instant turn off for me, and certainly didn't leave a good impression with the other members. When I extended the invitation I had made it quite clear that it was just a chance for friendly games, not competition. After the date he said that being competitive was in his nature, and I said good bye.
The next one was a very nice, and very attractive man with whom I had two of the best dates I've ever been on. He even said he'd like to go out again, then a few days later said he still had feelings for his exgf and needed time to figure things out. He left POF, only to return several weeks later. I didn't know until he showed up in my matches. He deleted his account soon after my clicking on his new profile.. Buh bye!!
Though we have never actually dated, I have become very good friends with a great guy from Missouri.... Hi Jack...  <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> a friend for life. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 2/15/2008 3:44:00 PM |
We actually had a decent date, but there were too many little things to give leeway to for me to consider anymore time on that relationship.
I quoted this because I think the mindset is key. You used the word relationship...yet it was just a first meet up. Ideally, they should be brief...long first "dates" tend to squelch interest, no matter how much you think you both enjoyed it.
Don't ever put too much expectation into a first time face to face. It's just to see if you can both be relaxed and enjoy each other's company for awhile.
IMO the longer you've emailed, talked on the phone before you meet, the greater the chance your expectations are so built up the meet will be a disappointment.
It's how the subconscious mind works...without the physical presence and interaction, your subconscious is forming some idea of what this person would be like. The longer it remains cyber, the more likely that built in idea is not accurate. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 12:39:40 PM | HI,
I came across your response and it hit me. You stated you took you time to get to know these men, IM's, calls, emails, etc What puzzles me, is if You Really got to know them, ALL 8 of them, WHY are you NOT with ONE of them???? So, did you really get to know them or just feel comfortable enough to go out for a dinner on them? I think you know where i am coming from with this question? | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:11:28 PM | I've met a few fishies in my time here.
My first date was with a man who, at first, was an incredible man  and we went out a few times. One night he asked me to his bedroom. By that point I'd picked up on the fact that he was a player. If I'd slept with him, I would have never seen him again...I didn't sleep with him, and I've never seen him again. Same end result - but I left with my pride in tact.
Since then every man has been who he portrayed in his profile, emails and calls. Not once have I been surprised or wanted to escape a first date. In fact I met a fellow from here the other night and the restaurant staff asked us to leave as it was past closing time.
Give it time, OP. Maybe your priority should be getting to know your date, not just getting a date. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:03:02 PM |
Ideally, they should be brief...long first "dates" tend to squelch interest, no matter how much you think you both enjoyed it.
Bucs I love ya hon, but gonna totally disagree with you here. While I will concede that an initial meeting with someone new might be intended to be brief (no chemistry, no point in beating a dead horse), it has been my experience, that when two people really hit it off, they tend to totally lose track of time, and that "brief" meeting turns into a very very long date that is actually very enjoyable for both parties concerned (common sense I should think).
It has likewise been my experience that the brevity of a first "date" (or meeting) tends more often to coincide with the brevity of interest in one and other as well. Any of my long term relationships in the past have normally blossomed out of one of those long first "dates". Of course I wouldn't presume to speak for everyone in this regard.
Have fun ;)! | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:38:18 PM | Hmmm. Im glad I read this cuz I was already apprehensive about online dating....to be honest, because it feels like a bigger risk than other social scenes, but it really isnt. People pretend they are what they are not sometimes no matter where you meet them. or they are who they are and that doesnt work for you...and it can go both ways, but either way, you dont know unless you try.
Fishing is a good way to look at it. Its cold or rainy today, my bait doesnt look so good, Im inpatient, picky, the fish just doesnt look, taste right, why try? what if the fish arent biting? what if they bite and then jump right off the hook back into the water after I reel them in?
People who know me adore me...its getting to know me that can be tuff...but someone someday will want to enough to try.
Thanks you guys! Im  jumpin back in!!!
 Shay | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:43:02 PM | Oh and one more thing! I do that sometimes...afterthought...People come into our lives for different reasons..maybe not always the reason we were hoping, dreaming for, but friends are a very good thing! Hang onto the good ones!
Rock on!
 Peace
Shay | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 5:38:13 PM |
IMO the longer you've emailed, talked on the phone before you meet, the greater the chance your expectations are so built up the meet will be a disappointment
I totally agree with you bucsgirl. I've been on and off POF for over 2 years and i've met some great men thanks to POF, had a good time getting to know them, etc. things just didn't either click, timing off, etc. but i certainly can't complain about the men i've met cause, honestly, i don't have any horror stories. And i've met men without photos; i've met men younger than me, older than me, some with kids, some without, etc. I exchange a few emails and a phone call and then meet in a public place.
what i have learned is that if someone piques my interest, i try and arrange to meet them. and if the meeting seems difficult to arrange, complicated, difficult to correlate schedules, etc. i stop trying cause, really, it shouldn't be hard to arrange to meet for a cup of coffee or an ice cream...i'm someone with a busy schedule so if i can do it, so can others. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 5:54:17 PM | I've been on this site since the fall, prior to that I was on from Feb. through April of last year. In March of 07 I met someone on here that I dated exclusively. In the end it did not work out. So, in August(ish) of 07 I came back on. Since then I've been on many dates. Had a few sparks, then in January I met someone on here and when we met it was more than a spark, more like a bonfire. A huge one.
So, give yourself time AND most importantly be open to dating different people. The more "I won't(s)" you have on your checklist of who you will date or not - the narrower your choices. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:28:41 PM | Thorn....I'm shattered...devastated. You disagree....how will I sleep.
NAW...I've had that happen too. Yeah I confess. In my very limited experience it's the exception.
That's the "thing" really...all the threads...what works...magical formula...perfect first contact email. Like searching for some Holy Grail.
Each experience, each contact...it's not a formulatic thing. Once people accept the fact that every person on the planet is an individual. As hard as someone may strive to fit it into a neat...if I send this out, I'll get this, if I toss my hair...(it's a giggle..).
It's what works for you and what you feel comfortable with. I, personally, tend to keep the first meetups shorter...not saying they haven't lasted longer.
It's just advice, generally speaking and we all know what that is.  | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:44:01 PM | | People are very different on dates than in real life. So I'll always give them the benefit of the doubt unless something is vitally wrong. Then, again, I assume the reasonable worst. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 3/30/2008 9:00:56 PM | I've no desire to meet in the corporeal world....I much prefer the genuine purity of the cyber world......*sigh*
except for maybe that blonde in Florida.....think I could get past the fishnets......... | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 4/30/2008 5:00:36 AM | One of my friends is on here and his picture is from a few years ago. He looks different.I just met him recently and took notice of this fact. I tell u i have an old picture of me on my account, but i look the same. My face just isn't as young. When people send me a message i usually send them a recent picture. I just think it isn't fair to expect to meet someone who does not look like their photo.
I also met someone who was using his brothers picture as his profile picture. He sent me a picture of him just before we met. He looked younger in the picture he sent than in real life. This was about two weeks ago and we are still seeing each other. We send each other emails and talk on the phone often. | |
|
| Real Meetings or Dates from Plenty of Fish
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:14:07 AM | | OP, I just posted a dating experience, but I did it in a new thread. If I'd seen this one, I might have just posted it here. But it was too funny to get buried in the middle of a thread anyway...the title is Funny Dating Experience. | |
|
Home
login 
